Author's Note: This whole story was some insane dream I had so yea...I have a weird imagination.

Disclaimer: I own NOTHING except plot and such. Besides, if I did, every yaoi fangirl out there would worship me as their new god. =D

-Lb-

The blonde haired Hokage sighed before warily glancing at the five Jounins she ordered to report to her office. Stifling a yawn, she shuffled through her papers, searching for a certain clipboard.

"Long story short, we…have a population crisis" She started, sitting up straighter.

"Population crisis?" A certain silver-haired jounin inquired.

"Hai. The Fire Country is being over populated with ninja and civilians alike. The elders and kages from other nations sat and discussed this problem. Unfortunately, they have ordered us to…revert…most of our male ninjas" Her eye twitched.

"Revert?"

"You needn't repeat my words Kakashi" She heaved a sigh. He chuckled, rubbing the back of his head.

"I've been speculating and observing all of you closely and, to my great pleasure, I needn't convert you. You've already converted yourselves."

The five smirked faintly before continuing to listen to their rambling Hokage.

"I've called you five here because I've noticed that you are the…dominants…who have already chosen their submissives-" Tsunade was cut off by their chuckling, agreeing with her whole-heartedly.

"As I was saying, with extreme reluctance, please come forward and write the name of your…chosen victim" She pushed the clipboard all the way to the edge of her desk as they shuffled forward and wrote down their names and the names of their future ukes.

'Fucking terrific' she sighed.

"You're dismissed" She waved them away. Bowing lowly, they all disappeared with a 'poof'.

"Shizune, bring me more sake" Tsunade grumbled, looking over the names. Her little secretary shuffled forward and revealed her bottle. Bringing it to her lips, she took a large swig before pulling out 10 scrolls and began scribbling down some nonsense. She paused midsentence once she felt five extremely devious ninja smirk and chuckle evilly simultaneously.

"Damn bastards" She slurred, continuing her work.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

BEEP BEEP BEEP

Groaning, Naruto swung his fist over and smashed his fucking annoying as hell alarm clock. 'I hate Mondays' He thought, yawning on his way to the bathroom. After relieving himself, the blond stumbled into the kitchen to prepare himself some breakfast aka ramen. Thanks to all his intense training with the Pervy-sage, he managed to catch the kunai that was headed straight for his head before he was struck. Glaring out the window, he unrolled the scroll attached to the weapon.

Brat,

Since you've been a great aid to our village, I have chosen you and 9 others to stay for 2 weeks at a spa hidden in the mountains. I've hidden the springs with a genjutsu, just walk right into it. The trap will recognize your chakras and allow you entrance. The information listed below states the spa's location and what room number you will reside in.

Have fun

Hokage-sama

"Old hag" Naruto smiled, slurping up the rest of his meal before beginning to pack for his little vacation.

Fastening the bag to his back, Naruto stepped out of his apartment and rigged it with a special locking jutsu. Satisfied with his work, the blond started his trek to the village's northern gates.

"Hey guys!" He shouted once he spotted his fellow team members.

"Heyya blondie" Kiba smirked.

"We heading out yet dog face?" Naruto retorted.

"Kakashi isn't here yet, as usual" Sasuke-teme muttered, rolling his eyes. Just as he finished, Kakashi 'poof'ed.

"Speak of the fucking devil" Naruto mumbled, taking lead.

"Language Naruto" Iruka scolded. He apologized to his former sensei before animatedly talking about his adventures with the Pervy-sage.

"Do you think this is going to work?" Shino unexpectedly questioned Sasuke. He shrugged.

"We'll see"

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

"Wah!! It's so cool!" Naruto exclaimed, admiring the beautiful waterfall and the pretty speckling mist, making all the trees shimmer.

"Troublesome" Shikamaru grumbled, smacking the kid in the head. Whining softly, Naruto pouted but followed, in pursuit of the Nara genius. Naruto managed to gather the ukes into the lobby as Sasuke wrangled the semes into his room.

"What's our game plan?" Kankuro questioned.

"We have officially 13 days and 4 hours" Sasuke stated firmly. "Let's give them a few days to relax and lower their guards because jumping them now will be costly. I don't believe we all want our ukes to feel disgusted by taking them in the same place as someone else. So, we must plot areas that are out of bounds to the other. I'm having Naruto in the private sauna so don't go there"

"The waterfall is mine" Shino marked.

"Public spring" Kakashi smirked.

"Showers" Neji confirmed.

"…Massage parlor" Kankuro nodded.

"Alright, let's just make them feel comfortable before we try anything. Oh, and before making your final move, inform the others so we know to sound proof your designated areas" They others nodded before poofing away.

Sasuke smirked, his plans were set. All they needed now were the willing submissives.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

"Achoo!" Naruto wheezed, rubbing his poor nose. That was the fifth time he sneezed!

"Are you coming down with something Naruto?" Iruka asked worriedly.

"Ne, I'm fine sensei" He shrugged it off, launching himself into a verbal battle with the Inuzuka heir. The groups didn't acknowledge the fact that the others left them. After their small banter had ceased, the ukes finally noticed their absence. Glancing around, Naruto quickly put up a sound proof barrier around them.

"They're finally gone, alright down to business" Naruto started, unrolling a map of the sauna.

"Where'd you get that?"

"Baa-chan" He answered without looking up.

"Our mission is to seduce our semes so badly that they will have to break, affirmative?" Naruto asked all business-like.

"Hai" They chorused.

"So, how is that to happen? Hm?" Naruto sat back to think.

"Jealousy?" Iruka offered.

"Naw, they couldn't care less" Naruto immediately shot down that idea.

"Seduce them privately" Gaara piped up. The group was silenced, astonished Gaara actually contributed to their discussion. The said redhead rolled his eyes and ducked his head, a faint red tint spreading across his cheeks.

"That's a brilliant idea!" Naruto smiled. The other agreed and quickly disbanded once they heard footsteps. Naruto called off the barrier and stated loudly that he was going to explore the spa some more. Bidding his friends farewell, he marched up to his room and slid the door open.

"Wow" He breathed. The room was floored with a large tatami mat. Two reclining chairs rested against the back wall, a sofa in between them. A large plasma hung from the wall across from the furniture. The walls were decorated beautifully with kanji of all sorts, the characters spelling words like peace and harmony and things of that nature.

Naruto seized gaping once he spied two doors. Choosing the room on the left, he entered hesitantly before placing his things down. Briefly scanning the area, he stripped to his boxers and grabbed a towel before edging towards the window and hopping out.

"That's dangerous, dobe" Sasuke growled. The blond ignored him and walked away, thinking that the Uchiha was pissed because they woke up so early.

Unbeknownst to him, Sasuke was painfully straining against his pants. When Naruto jumped down, he landed all frog-like. So when he went to go stand up, Sasuke nearly lost it because the dobe's boxers clung to his round perfectly tanned ass. Of course, 'lil Sasuke' decided to rise and take a look. The muscle on the idiot's back rippled and 'lil Sasu' began crying. He didn't want Naruto to think he was weird and just standing there staring at him so he had to say something. Unfortunately, he couldn't stop the husky tone that came along with it.

"I pity you" Neji sighed, patting a hand on his friend sympathetically. Sasuke sighed before nodding, walking up to his room to calm 'lil Sasu' down.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

"Ne, hi Iruka-sensei" Kakashi's visible eye curved upward.

"Ah! Hello Kakashi-san" Iruka smiled warmly, gathering his things and bringing them upstairs.

"What room number are you Ruka?" Kakashi hefted his bag over his shoulder.

"4, and you Kakashi-san?"

"Same" He smiled. The second Iruka averted his attention, Kashi smirked evilly, a perverted gleam in his eye. 'Can't believe I can't make my move yet' Kashi thought idly as he watched Iruka admire the room verbally. Settling into his room, Iruka locked the door and changed into his swim shorts and a loose fitting shirt. Getting a towel, he exited and joined Kakashi in the public spring.

"It's nice to relax and unwind in a spring this extravagant" Iruka sighed. Kakashi nodded, nose stuffed into his Icha Icha. Iruka rolled his eyes at the man and placed his towel down before putting a foot into the luke warm water. Adjusting to the heat, he slowly descended, moaning.

"This feels wonderful Kakashi-san, come in" Iruka rolled his shoulders and sighed, totally relaxed. He heard Kakashi drop his book behind him. Deciding to ignore the man, he enjoyed the water.

Kakashi was just getting to the good part when Iruka began talking about some insignificant thing. He might not seem it but Kashi was listening to every word the chunin said. When Ruka stopped, Kashi returned to reading his porn.

Gently lowering Riyoko onto the bed, Kyoto looked at him lovingly.

"Be gentle Kyo" Riyoko warned, pulling Kyo down to him. Their tongues twisted and rubbed against each others as they began hurriedly stripping. Kyoto released Riyoko before looking down at him deviously.

"Kyo wha- Ah!" Riyoko moaned as Kyoto's tongue travelled-

"Oh~" Dropping his book, Kashi's eye widened drastically as he watched Ruka sensually lowering himself in the water.

'Holy fucking shit' Kashi covered his nose in an attempt to stop blood flow.

"This feels wonderful Kakashi-san, come in" Iruka groaned. Looking down, Kashi thought otherwise.

'This is to keep you safe' Kashi thought quickly before answering the chunin.

"I-I don't feel v-very well, I'll be right back" Kashi 'poof'ed immediately into the lobby. Gripping the edge of the door, he breathed deeply.

"You too Kakashi?" Neji shook his head.

"I'm not the first?" Kakashi peered at him sharply.

"Uchiha's upstairs"

"Cold shower" The silver-haired jounin sighed, poofing upstairs.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

"Dude, this place is huge!" Kiba laughed, throwing his shit on the bed.

"No shit" Kankuro agreed, placing his things in his room.

"You going to the spring?" Kiba asked.

"Yea" Kankuro stepped out the exact moment Kiba decided to change.

"Wait for me?" Kiba shrugged off his fishnet.

"S-Sure" Kankuro stammered. Ignoring the stutter, Kiba pulled off his shirt and pulled his shorts down. Clad in only his boxers, he knelt down and picked a pair of black swim shorts and slipped them on quickly. Hearing a small thud, he watched as a scroll drop from his shorts pocket and roll under the bed.

Kankuro shook his head. 'No! We have to let them adjust first!' He mentally scolded himself. However, curiosity was gnawing at his mind. Completely camouflaging his chakra, he inched closer and closer to the slightly ajar door and peeked through the opening.

"Crap" Kiba sighed, getting on his knees and crawling as far as he can under the bed.

'Fuck' Kankuro fretted, clenching his fists, his eyes glued to what he was seeing. 'His ass looks so tight, is he…?'

Kiba reached his hand as far as he could and managed to gather the scroll in his palm when his fingers hooked at the corner of the paper. Bringing it out, Kiba placed it back into his bag.

Kankuro sprinted back into his room and shut it as soon as he spotted the Inuzuka stand back up.

"Kankuro?" He knocked on the puppeteer's door.

"Y-Yea? Go w-without me" Kankuro gritted through his teeth, hands shaking.

"You okay in there?" Kiba asked worriedly, his hand on the door knob.

"Fine, j-just go first"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes" Suspiciously, he trusted the Sand nin and walked away, bidding him farewell.

"Fuck" He breathed, stepping out and standing there. Banging his head repeatedly on the wall, he replayed the scene in his mind.

"Fuck, Kiba's go you too?" Neji rolled his eyes, walking into the room and spotted Kankuro's self-inflicted wound.

"Little fucker is too seductive" He mumbled, continuing to abuse his forehead.

"You're the third one and it's not even six o' clock yet!" Neji shook his head, exiting the room.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

"Would you like to join us in the springs Gaara-san?" Shino offered, already in his swimming trunks and a red shirt.

"Hai, I'll be right there" Gaara gathered his clothes and stepped into the bathroom, leaving the door open since he knew that Aburame wasn't going to harm him. Gaara, now nude, stepped under the showerhead and began washing himself.

Shino knew that it was absolutely the wrong thing to do but, it was just too tempting. Swiftly, he crept to the bathroom door and peered in quickly. However, his eyes just couldn't tear away. Unconsciously licking his lips, the bug-tamer traced every contour of the Kazekage's body. The water sliding down the redhead's back, down his ass and legs. Mutely groaning, Shino felt his body awakening rapidly. For the sake of his sanity, Shino fled from his position and went back to the confines of his room.

Gaara finished up his short shower before slipping on his boxers and taking a towel with him. He padded softly down to the spring. Shino stepped out hesitantly after Gaara left, seating himself in a reclining chair.

"Shi…no? He got you didn't he?" Neji inquired, judging by the tinge of pink coloring the Aburame's usually pale face. His blush darkened as he glared at the lucky Hyuuga.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

Neji shook his head in despair, at this rate; none of them would be able to last. The others have already been manipulated by their ukes' actions. Not him though, the Hyuuga chuckled, not him.

Neji was just about to enter his room when he collided painfully with Nara. Grunting, he opened his eyes and glared into those of the Shogi genius.

"Sorry Neji" He mumbled getting up, just to fall back down.

"Wha-"

"Naruto" Neji growled, rubbing the floor. Naruto had efficiently waxed the floor right in front of his room, making it difficult for them to walk. Shikamaru tried again and again to get up but usually ended up on Neji's lap. The Hyuuga was cursing his luck right now, watching as Shika stood back up and latched onto the door.

"Jeez, I'm gunna kill that moron" Shikamaru hissed, jumping down the stairs and running to find the baka. Sitting there, Neji willed away the erection he managed to produce.

"Karma, Hyuuga, karma" Sasuke stated smugly, looking down at his glaring friend.

"Fuck off Sasuke" Neji slid to the door and stood up, leaping over the waxed area onto the regular flooring.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

At eight, everyone shuffled to the kitchen.

"Uh, anyone know how to cook?" Naruto asked, opening the fridge.

"Yea" Iruka and Kiba replied.

"We'll give you some peace to make dinner while we set the table" Kakashi lead the rest out. True to his word, Kakashi, Neji and Kankuro set the table with napkins, plates and chopsticks while the others migrated to the living room and turned on the TV.

Naruto, Iruka and Kiba, equipped with aprons, decided the menu.

"So, we're making fried fish, rice, miso soup, fried meat cubes and strawberry cake?" Naruto confirmed, pulling out a baking pan.

"Hai" Iruka placed a large empty pot on the stove and turned it up. While Iruka got started with the miso soup, Naruto got busy with the dessert. Kiba rummaged through the freezer and pulled out several steaks. Taking a knife and a large cutting board, he put the steaks in the microwave for 15 minutes, letting it thaw out. They worked for another good hour before the food was ready to serve.

"Teme! Can you put these on the table?" Naruto called out, stacking 10 ceramic bowls on top of the other and handing them to Sasuke. Sasuke bit down a comment once he was face to face with an apron wearing dobe. His cheek had a bit of icing on it. Unthinking, Sasuke took the bowls and leaned down to lick the blond's cheek.

"W-W-Wha?!" Naruto freaked out.

"You had icing on your cheek…dobe" Sasuke stated emotionlessly, taking his leave.

"Teme!" Naruto screamed, fuming.

=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~=^.^= Yaoi! =^.^=

After the delightful dinner, filled with light conversation, Naruto rushed back into the kitchen and brought out the cake and a knife.

"Yum!" Kiba grinned, taking a piece. Naruto sliced a piece for everyone before digging in to his own piece. The semes were talking amongst themselves before Sasuke hushed them all, staring at the other end of the table. Curious as to what made the infamous Uchiha stop and gape like an idiot; they all turned their heads and did the following: stare, drop jaw, blush.

"Delicious" Iruka smiled, biting into his slice. The semes watched as their ukes bit into the cake, getting icing on their lips. They ignored Sasuke and his group as they continued to eat the fruit that littered the top of the slice. At that moment, one thought crossed all of the semes' minds.

'We're fucked'

…Oh how right you are ;D

Author's Note:

Minor changes were made and yea…please review and fav!

Sasuke: I fucking hate you –glares-

Me: Fucking tough; man up and control your libido! Geez, all men are perverted -.-

Sasuke: …shut up…