A/N So anyways…this story will contain Golden Trio bashing, making Snape look like the good guy, and we will assure you that the Dark Lord will not die. Viva la Voldemort!

Disclaimer: I do not own any recognizable characters and/or settings; those belong to the lovely J.K. Rowling. Only OCs, Hexwood, and plot belong to me. This is going to be the only disclaimer for the whole story, get over it.

One

I groaned and clutched my throbbing head. Something was obviously wrong with the wall at Kings Cross station. All I wanted to do was get into Platform Nine and Three-quarters, but no, all these Hogwarts people had to make it more difficult than it need be and invoke a secret passageway.

Hexwood International wasn't nearly as inconvenient.

And of course, Cousin Draco had left me to go on with his little posse. Some great family member he was turning out to be.

I stood up and ignored the stares of the muggles around me. Who cared what the general public thought? They didn't understand and they didn't need to. They were perfectly fine living on in ignorance.

I gritted my teeth and looked at the brick wall again. It was solid as ever. Why wasn't this working? If I could just apparate into Hogwarts it would be so much easier, but no, they had to be all fancy and have protective spells up around the place.

"Come on, don't spend too much time amongst the muggles!" a woman said to her child as they passed the small crowd.

Well, that was promising-sounding.

I watched them as they nonchalantly disappeared through the brick wall between platforms Nine and Ten and looked up. I was at the wall between Eight and Nine.

I smacked my forehead and swore at myself for being such and idiot. Draco was going to pay for leaving me like that.

I gathered my bags and dragged them to the other wall. I just walked straight through, not really caring if the muggles saw or not. It would give them something to think about for a while if they did.

Suddenly, there before me was the elegant red Hogwarts Express. People ran about, saying their goodbyes at the last minute. I watched as four red-headed siblings boarded, one after another. Behind them was the infamous Harry Potter, his black hair and green eyes unmistakable. I didn't need to see his scar to know that it was him.

The whistle blew and the train doors started slowly shutting. I picked up my bags and ran, my heart pounding. It would be such a hassle to get alternate transportation if I missed this train.

I jumped on at the last second, just before the doors closed for good. Looking around, I realized that the place was packed. There wouldn't be any free compartments whatsoever.

I just sighed and started walking along until I found a compartment with only one person in it. I sat down across from a blonde-haired girl with a dreamy look in her eyes.

"Sorry," I apologized. "There wasn't any other room."

"No, it's fine," she sat happily. "I'm Luna Lovegood."

I gasped silently. Lovegood? As in the Quibbler? I had been a subscriber to the magazine for years!

"I'm Bandit Morvant," I blurted out. "I read ever edition of the Quibbler."

"Really?" she lowered her voice. "You haven't seen any nargles lately, have you?"

I shook my head. "Not yet. Have you?"

"No. I have this special charm to ward them off." She held up a pendant hanging from a string around her neck.

This Luna Lovegood was a very intriguing person—I could tell that she was going to be one of my best friends this year.

"I'm transferring from Hexwood International," I said.

"Are you really? I've always wanted to see Hexwood. Is it really right next to Azkaban prison?"

"Of course," I nodded.

"Amazing…and is it true that to be admitted you must be at least at Auror power-level? Even Albus Dumbledore didn't make it past the entry exams."

"That's right," I said.

"I've always wanted to see Hexwood, after my mum told me about it when I was seven. She died when I was nine."

"Really?" Luna seemed so happy and content with everything around her, yet she had lost her mother? It didn't make any sense. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's okay. I still have my dad." She smiled. "So tell me…have you seen any crumple-horned snorkacks lately?"

Luna and I talked for the entire trip about nargles, crumple-horned snorkacks, Hogwarts, The Ministry of Magic, and Hexwood. She was amazingly perceptive about everything I said; whether she actually understood my incoherent chattering or not was another question altogether, but she at least acted like she was taking it all in.

When the train slid to a stop, I stood and sighed. I was going to have to go in and be sorted with the First Years, despite my Fifth-Year status and the fact that I was elite when it came to magic. Yes, I do have a nasty habit of running into walls and such, but that doesn't change that I was trained at Hexwood International.

As I got off the train after Luna, I spotted the familiar blonde hair of none other than Draco. He was going to pay for leaving me like that.

I stormed after him and grabbed the collar of his robes, spinning him around to face me.

"Hi, cousin Malfoy. You didn't happen to forget about me, did you?" I asked, standing on my toes so I could talk face-to-face with him.

"Bandit, how could I forget you?" he asked. He smirked that annoyingly famous smirk. "But I see you made it here on your own without delay."

I narrowed my eyes. "Watch your back, Draco Malfoy. You forget that I went to Hexwood. And don't think that just because you're a whiny family member I'll take pity on you. I can hurt you. You're only a month older than--"

"Hey, don't you have a traditional lake-crossing to attend?" he interrupted.

`"I--"

"Well, go on. I'll see you inside. There's always room for you at the Slytherin table."

Before I could protest, he had turned and melted into the crowd after his body guards, Crabbe and Goyle.

When I got my hands on that guy….

"Firs' Years, this way!" I turned and saw a giant of a man holding a lantern, walking around shouting. The little First Years followed him but flinched and cringed in fear. The poor little creatures. They wouldn't last a minute at Hexwood.

I sighed and joined the small crowd that had gathered behind him. They looked up at me weirdly and I shifted my weight awkwardly. Why did I have to go through this?

"Aren't you a little old to be sorted?" a kid next to me asked.

"Just don't say anything," I gritted my teeth. "I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Okay, but I was just wondering…."

"I know. It's okay."

"Firs' Years—is that all o' you?" the man stopped and turned to look at us. I crossed my arms. "Oh, yer Bandit, aren't you?"

"Yeah," I said, looking up at him.

"Right then! Everybody, this way!"

I just followed silently and hoped that Malfoy wasn't watching and laughing, for his sake.

I climbed into a rowboat with a couple other kids and just sat in the back, unmoving, with my head down. As beautiful as Hogwarts and the lake were, I didn't want to be subject to this kind of ridicule. There was nothing wrong with First Years, but I knew what kind of world I lived in. People were going to be making fun of me, I could tell.

I survived long enough to get out of the boat and enter the castle at the back of the little crowd. I felt too big. Like I could accidentally crush them or at least trip myself.

We walked up a set of stairs to where a woman in green robes was waiting. She reminded me of a cat, with the way she watched us.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she said. "In a few moments, you will walk through these doors and join you classmates, but before that can happen, you must be sorted into your houses. There are four houses to choose from: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. While you are here, your house is like your family. Good deeds will give you points, while any rule breaking will lose you points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points wins."

Slytherin. All. The. Way.

"I believe they are ready for you now," she turned and led the way through the doors and before me stood a huge hall, filled with young witches and wizards, all of them watching us.

No, watching me.

I took a deep breath and walked with my head held high. I knew I was more powerful than everyone in this room. They were honored by my presence.

Wow, I was getting snooty. Was it just because I was nervous, or was I descending to whiny-Draco level? I made a mental note to get myself out of this habit.

We gathered in front of a hat sitting on a chair. It looked ancient, and it probably was. For all I knew, it was as old as the school itself.

The cat-woman held up a scroll of parchment and started reading off names. I didn't pay attention as the First-Years were sorted; instead, I looked up at the interestingly-enchanted ceiling. It looked just the sky outside. Huh. Why would they go to all that trouble? This was a school, not a hotel.

"Bandit Morvant," she called.

I turned and walked up to the chair. She placed the hat on my head and I could feel it thinking.

"Hm…smart, yes, and with a reputation like yours you'd do good with your cousins, wouldn't you? Yes, yes…strong, cunning, zealous, yet occasionally vengeful and hotheaded…Slytherin!"

I breathed a sigh of relief. It was finally over. I didn't have to deal with being a family disappointment now that I was in Slytherin. Then again, how could I possibly be a disappointment? I had gone to Hexwood, of all places.

I located dear Cousin Draco and sat next to him. I was going to torture him for at least the rest of the week.

"Enjoy it?" he asked.

"Yes, thank you very much." I said. I could see people from the other side of the room turning to look at me curiously. What did I ever do to deserve this?

After a few more students, the sorting was over and Albus Dumbledore began his speech.

"Now, this year, we have a special guest—Bandit Morvant. She had transferred to our beloved Hogwarts from Hexwood International, a most revered school located conveniently next to Azkaban Prison. Please, let's give her a warm welcome!"

The room filled with applause and even more people turned and craned their necks to look at me. I never was one that sought out extra attention. A bit was fine here and there, but I had my limits.

"Now, we have two changes in staff this year. Professor Grubbly-Plank has returned to teach Care of Magical Creatures while Professor Hagrid is on temporary leave."

Hagrid…wasn't he the one that had led us here on the boats? Strange that he wasn't teaching…oh well. It wasn't like it would greatly affect me.

"And please welcome our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dolores Jane Umbridge."

I craned my neck to see the teachers and snorted when I spotted my lovely second cousin Severus Snape, in his swooshing black robes, sitting next to a short, toad-like woman dressed all in pink. What a picture that was.

She made a sound that seemed halfway between a giggle and a cough and stood up while Dumbledore fell silent. She walked in front of him and looked at everyone.

"Thank you, headmaster, for those kind words of welcome." She said. "And how lovely to see all of your bright, happy faces smiling up at me. I'm sure we're all going to be very good friends."

"That's likely," I heard a few people in the center of the room mutter.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. Although each headmaster has brought something new to this historic school, progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged."

People all around began muttering amongst themselves. Who was this lady, exactly? She was acting like a dictator. A very disturbing, extremely pink dictator. I didn't like her one bit.

"Let us preserve what must be preserved, perfect what can be perfected, and prune practices that ought to be prohibited." She giggled and returned to her seat.

She was so fake. It was all a stupid façade to attempt to make us trust her so that in the end she could take over and make our lives miserable. This was the kind of school I was coming to? If only my old teachers could see this…they would gag.

"Thank you, Professor," Dumbledore said. I could tell he had been disturbed. "Now then, let the feast begin!"

The empty plates in front of me filled with food and people began stuffing themselves with it. I tentatively picked up a drumstick and sniffed it. Well, it didn't smell like poison…and one would think that with Sev as my cousin I would be able to sniff out poisons.

I bit into it and found that it seemed edible enough. Nothing at all like the food at Hexwood, but it was still satisfactory.

"So, dear cousin," I said to Draco, "any thoughts on the scary toad-lady?"

He shrugged as he bit into a slice of ham. "She's from the Ministry."

"I can tell that," I rolled my eyes.

"From what I hear, Fudge sent her in," the guy across from me said. "Marcus Flint, captain of the Slytherin quidditch team."

"Uh…hi," I said. "I'm Bandit…you have quidditch here?"

I always played quidditch back at Hexwood. We boasted some of the best teams. Seeing as we trained over the rough waters around Azkaban, dodging Dementors while fighting hurricane-force winds, and that we had our own broom maker right there, it was pretty obvious that we would be good.

"Of course. We have a few openings on the team, if you're interested. Come around next Monday for tryouts."

"Maybe I will," I said thoughtfully. "Maybe…."

Lucky for me, Draco didn't abandon me on the way to the Slytherin common room, which I had no idea how to get to. Not that I would let him out of my sight for the next few days.

I followed him down through the dungeons to a blank wall where he stopped. He somehow managed to find a hidden door and part of the wall swung open, revealing the dark green common room.

It was…cozy in its own serpent-y way. Next to the fireplace there were a few chairs and a couch, all emerald green in color. Everything about it made you think of green fire and snakes.

"Girls' dormitory is over there," he said, pointing to a door.

"Gee, thanks." I said sarcastically. I turned and walked through the door to find myself in a room filled with canopy beds, dark green curtains covering them. I discovered my bags sitting at the foot of a bed next to an enchanted window that showed the view over the lake, despite the fact that I was positively certain I was underground at the moment.

I sat on the bed and sighed. It was bad enough that I had to be new at the school, but now I also had to deal with some kind of insane pink toad-lady from the Ministry? Not exactly what I had in mind when I decided to come here.