Title: Falling Apart
Chapter 1: Ichigo
- The Coming out Party
Rating/ Warning: M / Explicit scenes, time period inaccuracies, terrible plot, my crappy writing, drug use, language, ect. (Some of these may not be true, I'm just covering my ass)
Notes:
"Unless a woman has an amurous heart,
She is a dull companion"
-Samuel Johnson
It was a cold spring morning when my maid climbed the stairs to my bed chamber and proceeded to awaken me by pulling the curtains above my bed open and nearly blinding me with its bright brilliance. I was never good at waking up in the morning and that was unacceptable. 'A lady awakens with the sun and supervises the maids as they clean the house,' my mother would always tell me.
"Miss, if you do not wake, I fear I will have to call upon your mother…"
I wanted to groan, but I held my tongue, such a noise is unseemly. "I shall, Miwa. If you please give me a few minutes." My maid nodded and walked away thankfully. I could breathe a sigh of relief for the first time that morning, alone and slightly nervous. Today is my 18th birthday, in the height of the season, and this evening is my coming out. I could only think of what could go wrong while I lay in bed, willing my body to move to my washroom. What if no one would dance with me? What if one would but I tried and made myself look like a fool? What if Ms. Fujiwara chooses against presenting me…
My maid walked back into my chambers with help, it seemed. Moe, the other maid of the house, placed her hands on her hips and she studied me, still in my bed. "Aright, we are done stalling, miss! Your mother expects you for morning tea and you have not gone to the wash room yet! Awaken!"
I am finally pulled from my bed by two pairs of strong arms and eventually brought to my washroom and helped into the bath. I'm washed in my haze and then sat in a chair while my auburn hair is piled atop my head and decorated with a hat. Moe pulls me up and Miwa assists in wrapping my torso in a particular tight corset, the laces of which are pulled until my insides ache. Stockings are pulled up to my thighs before my figure is covered by a lovely dress. "Miss, your mother awaits you."
Sighing, or doing my best to, I left the room and descended down the stairs into the dinning room where my mother seated herself surrounded by small amounts of fruit and breads, a tea pot placed within her reach and the cups to our matching set seated next to her in front of an empty chair that I knew I was to sit at. "Good morning, mother." I say, smiling.
"Don't smile to much. It pulls the skin." Victorian's don't smile, it shows too much emotion. "A lady awakens early, I do hope you remember that by the time you get married off."
"I shall, mother." I say softly and seat myself next to her. My mother pours me tea and I begin adding milk and sugar to my spesific tastes. It's silent for a while and I choice to nibble on fruits and pasteries while I wait for more scolding from my mother.
She finally breaks the silence and I wish she hadn't, it was so pleasent in the awkward silence. "Are you ready for tonight? I'm sure many would dance with you, even that Shirogane man, he did seem interested in you at Miss Fujiwara's coming out. And your father is coming in from the city for tonight, please do not at like a child when you see him, you're a lady now. I swear, whenever you see him, it is as if all my teaching disappears from your head."
I sip my tea so I don't have to speak. When we finish, and I feel my mother has had her full of scolding, she calls for a carriage and I am escorted to the dress shop where I am to pick up my dress for this evening. "I hope we do not need to take out the dress much more. I did notice you eating more then enough pasteries, Ichigo..." I bite my lip to keep from replying and push the curtain from the small window looking into the street. "It's a deary day is it not? So gloomy... and cloudy. Do you suppose it will look better by tonight?"
"It will still be dark," I mumble. The horse clops on cobblestone to a wonderful rythm that helps me ignore my mothers continuous voice in my ear. Everyone on the streets looked busy enough, few children would look my way into the carridge and I gave them a small smile and wave, but then I saw one man look into the carridge I sat in and stared, as if time stopped, following me with his eyes, his intense, nearly golden eyes. I turned my head as we passed, continuing to stare, confused and stangely interested in this man I mearly noticed on the street. "How perculier..." I say, under my breath and suddenly I am grabbed by the arm, my attention pulled back towards my mother.
"Ichigo! Have you not listened to a word I said?!"
"I'm sorry mother! I fear I have dozed off."
"Ichigo! A lady never dozes off when spoken too! How would one have stimulating conversation if you cannot carry the conversation?" She scolwed and before I could say anything, the carridge had stopped. Raising her nose in the air, my mother gathers her skirts in one hand and our door is opened by the driver. He grasps her hand and walks her down to the road and I follow in suit. Once on the floor, my hand is free and my mother pulls in into the shop.
The whole experience was horrid.
I did my best to smile as I am poked and proded with pins and needles for the final fitting, all the while listening to my mother go on over my weight and the pasteries and, "a lady should only need one fitting." The dress maker, of course, is no help either, she agrees with my mother and makes remarks regarding my body, and I sigh, looking anywhere else but the two woman in the room, so I choose to look at the dress. It is quite beautiful, a light pink color, something I imagine the woman in Paris would wear, their ballrooms decorated in bright colors, everything beautiful and spring and sweet, the bodice tight against my body and the skirt is busled and lovely. With this dress, I could feel myself get excited for tonight for the first time.
I admired the dress for so long and before I knew it, we were finished. The dress was pulled off me and paid for and wrapped up in a box for us to take home. I held it close to my body and even used that hand to hold the box instead of my skirts while the driver escorted me into the carriage. I was scolded by my mother of course, but I was not bothered. I had the lovelest dress in all of England and I could not wait to wear it. We stopped at other shops but I could not tell you where we had stopped, I was busied admiring the dress, the fabric and my dreams of Paris.
As soon as the carriage stopped at our home, I ran, passing my driver, my maids and anyone else who tried to greet me and make me stop. When I finally made it to my room, I opened the box once more and pulled the dress to my body once more, twirling and watching the fabric twist around my legs. "I will be the beauty of tonight!"
A knock on the door shocks me. I lay the dress on my bed and open it, finding my mother scowling. "You were very rude! A lady does not-"
"I'm sorry, mother." I couldn't help my smile. "The dress is just so lovely. Thank you, mother, thank you!" I want to hug her, but I know she does not want me to touch her. Instead, she looked quiet sheepish, something I've never seen on her face.
"Yes, well... Start prepairing for tonight..." She mutters, begining to shut the door. "And... you're welcome." The door shuts and I smile wider.
My hair is piled on my head in auburn curls, my body corseted tighter then this morning in my new dress, and surrounded by fellow victorians waiting for the queen. As I welcomed guests into our home, I notice the ballroom is full of bodies, some faces I recognize and some I do not. I am uncomfortable, terribly so and only my dress can console me until I see my father. He is greeting visitors as he walks towards me and pull me into his arms, hugging me tight. "My poppet, look at how beautiful you look! And how grown up!"
"Papa! How are you? Where have you been?" I ask.
"I have been in the city, doing work to pay for this little party!" He chuckled. "But as long as you are happy, my sweetheart."
"I would be happier if you where home, papa." I sound like a child and I know. He must go to work and he must stay in the city... I am selfish, but how can I not be? He is my father. Before he can say anything, I am taken by the arm and pulled away from him. He just smiles, waving as I am pulled away and I look at my kidnapper. "Minto? What are you doing?"
"I am dreadfully bored! Have you seen everyone here? Noithing but old crickets and men not rich enough to pay for my dress!" She rolled her brown eyes in a very unlady like manner and I giggled. I knew Minto from childhood and she was one of the few I knew who cared not of manners and etiqute when around others. She like like a true woman, a lady who does not let anyone see who she was on the inside.
A perfect victorian woman.
"I heard my mother say Mr. Shirogane will be here. I am sure he will grace you with a dance."
"We all know he means to court you, Ichigo!" Minto laughed as she pulled me upstairs were seldom guest migrated. She sat on a balcony, close enough to hear when the queen would arrive, but far enough that no others could intrude on our conversations, a private location where I could very much hear my friend without the noise and ruckus of the party.
"My mother would be most pleased of that." I replied in a huff. "She means to marry me off this night! If he asks for a dance I will have no choice but to accept and she will begin the wedding arangements!"
"Is it so bad, Ichigo, to marry him? He has inherated his families fortune and he is quite handsome. You would live out your days are your mother did."
"Ms. Midorikawa means to marry him... She has her her eye on him since last season."
"Retasu! My old nanny?" Minto crossed her arms. "She has no hope! Mr. Shirogane would never fall for a nanny." I held my tounge for I had great hopes for Ms. Midorikawa. She was a sweet, shy girl with pretty eyes hidden behind large specticles with long hair. I thought she was rather lovely, but obviously, Minto knew our class roles better. Minto sat up from our perch and dusted off her skirts. "Well, I believe I must get back to this party. I shall see you on the dance floor, Ichigo." She had a laugh about her voice as she left me there, nearly skipping away to the rest of the visitors.
When I left our hid out, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned quickly and bit my lip. It was almost as if we summoned him like dark magic for speaking of him so much. Mr. Shirogane bowed before me and held out his hand, dressed in a fine suit, a smile on his face, a perfect gentlemen. Since it was my coming out, I could not deny any man for a dance, so I produced my dance card for him, showing him he was the first to sign.
"Bless my luck, I expected this to be full of names." He laughed, signing it quickly and giving it back to me.
"Yes, well, I have been hidding away from everyone." I reply. "In fact, I should return before my mother comes to find me." I hurry away from him, hoping to lose him in the crowd. It is not as if I dislike him, but I do not wish to marry him and in London, this thinking is unheard of. I might as well let him purpose to me now!
The room nearly spun as I pushed my way though, my head down so no one would notice me. The queen had not yet arrived but I wanted everyone to leave so I may lie in bed and wish for a different future then this life had presented me with. I managed to make my way outside and rejoiced in the cool air upon my face, the quiet around me.
"'cuse me, miss."
That accent was terribly familier in the worse way, it was the tone of street beggers, the poor and working class that bothered me and pestered me when I was in the market place. When I looked at the speaker, prepaired to smile the way I always do when they approch, I nearly gasped. The man on the street from this morning stood before me, his dark hair tucked under a cap, dressed as fine as I knew one of his social standing would wear those same golden eyes as intense as I saw them in the carriage. "H-Hello, sir... What may I do for you?"
"This party, when is it goin' ta be over? I got to go home, ya see. It's already late."
"I do appoligize... I do not know..."
He smirked a bit, his skin pale under the moon light while dirt still present in his face and clothes. "Proper lady, aren't you? This your party?"
"It's my coming out yes... what are you doing here?"
"I'm a driver." He shrugged. "So I have ta wait until I'm needed, ya see."
"I am sorry, I can do nothing for you." That explains the staring this morning, he was captivated by the carriage.
"So why is the miss out here with a driver then? Isn't your fancy party inside?"
"I find it rather sufficating..." I sat on one of the benches surrounding the outside. "So many people waiting for me to join then in the same life they lead. I am to wed, bear children, hire maids and nursemaids and run the household while my husband works in the city. Then become old and grim and yell at children, my nose held high and my social standing impecable." I sighed, thinking of it all and there was nothing that could be done to change it.
He was quiet, the man I just told my fears to, but I knew he would not have a sollution for me. "It's because your wealth. The wealthy live the same as they always do, when you're poor, there is no one ta tell you who ta marry and where ta live." He looked up at me, fixed on my expression for a while before opening his mouth and saying words that at first I did not understand. "Why not run away?"
Why not...
Why not...
Why not?
"Will you take me to your home?" I ask, thinking about his proposition.
"If it gets me out of here." He smirked. "I'm Kisshu."
"Ichigo." He climbed into a carriage and looked down expectedly at me. I grasped onto the front of the carriage and pulled my body up, choosing to sit in the front instead of the carriage where I had grown so accustom. "It is rather cold." I shivered. He grabbed a cloak from where he sat and pulled it over me, instructing me to keep it over my head.
"No one can notice or your escape wont be so successful."
I sat quiet, the cloak tight around me and Kisshu pulled the reigns, the horses slowly moving there feet and taking us away from my property. What I would do know, I was not certain but this was an adventure, something I had been iching for... with any luck maybe I could make my way to Paris! I looked over to my rescuer, completely focused on driving us, and then I hear it, the regal carriage of the queen as it passes by us.
My heart is pounding. I think about all I am running away from, from my father, my life, Minto, the queen... I move closer to Kisshu, my hand rests on his thigh for I then know I cannot go back. I am no longer the product of perfect breeding, a lady of high moral standing under the curch of England, a woman who needs a chaperon with her at all times, one who does not dance with men who have not filled out dance cards and never has inappropirate thoughts. He glances down at me as we escape and I do hope he can see what I am trying to tell him without words.
And he does.
His home was a small house, nearly 2 bedchambers, both with a single bed. Those two be chambers are the only rooms apart from the kitchen/washroom/dinning room. It was small and cramped but I was amazed in a fasinated way. People could live perfectly comfortable lives this way, without maids and large dining halls.
When we get there, he pushes me against the wall and I gasp, fighting the urge to push him away as a lady should but I am no longer a lady. When his hands gasp my curls, I do not fight or flinch or move away from him, I am the one who presses my mouth against his and close my eyes. He responds just as I hoped, his hands tighten in my hair, pulling my face closer, lips moving against mine slowly. His tongue is against my lips, sliding inside my mouth. I had never kissed a man before, let alone allow one do this to me, and I shiver as I let him in.
He kisses me frantically once I do and I nearly blush, finding my hands are lingering on his broad shoulders. I am touching a man! Mother would have a fit if she knew! The thought makes me shiver. I am finding that kissing makes me light headed and I feel as if I could float, I do not notice when his hands move, but I notice when they are to my hips, the bodice of my dress unzipped, my corset exposed. My eyes open and I pull away, finding my modesty raising to the surface all at once. I panted, feeling my lips bruised, my hair a mess and terribly freightened. "I... I... Forgive me..."
"Forgive you? What ever for?"
"I have never... done this sort of thing... I am... was a lady."
"Dear Ichigo." He smiled quite sweetly and tucked fallen strands behind my ears. "Ya are a lady still. I'm not in the service of taking that away from woman, I just find ya attractive..."'
I blush once more, looking into his intense eyes. No, he was not the one taking that away from me... I was... I allowed my heart to settle in its rapid beating and pressed my lips to his once more, setting a quickened pace. I would not falter once more, and I wanted him to be aware. He continued as before, returning his hands to what he had freed in the earlier process, my corset. His hands were nimble and quick as he untied the knot holding my shape together. As it was lossened, I took deep breathes enjoying the freash air and ignoring how my bossom felt cold, exposed to the air as the corset, like my bodice, fell slack.
He stopped kissing my lips and trailed down to my neck and chest, which I'm sure happened to be coated in a blush. It felt wonderful, the nibbles and kisses he left on my skin as he trailed to any open area he could find. Why was this action so taboo if it felt so...? I grasped his hands before I could stop myself and guilded them under my skirts, pulling them until I could feel the skin of my thigh and released his hand. "Hnnnnggg." He... groaned... What a marvalous sound! "You're so very soft, me lady."
His hand traveled slower then I wanted, trailing up my leg until he was at my hips and pulled down the bloomers covering me. That was when he gained the speed of something inhuman. He removed his own knickers allowing them to pool at his boots, and grasped my legs, pulling them around his own waist, holding me to him between the wall. I had felt him against my legs and shivered at his size. "Will... it hurt?"
"Maybe a little. I promise to be gental."
He kisses the skin of my bossom once more and took me into his mouth by the nub. I gasped out, sensations of both that and him pushing against my entrance making my head skin. "Ah... ah... Hmmmm." How does one keep their voice quiet in such a situation? I bit my lip, finding it useless when he pushed his hips forward. "O-Oh! Ah!"
He chuckled a little, pushing more, stopping when my voice became to loud. He eventually moved to my mouth, kissing me to keep me focused on him. And suddenly he was completely with in me. "See? Not so bad, right?" I took deep breaths, wondering if this was it. Was this all there was too it? "How do ya feel?"
"I feel... ready." I replied. He smirked and pulled himself out, then pushed back inside. I gasped more, grasping onto his back. "Ah... Oh... Oh god, what... What do I..." My hips pushed up to meet his as he slowly grew faster.
He chuckled into my ear, nibbling on the bottom as his hands moved to my backsides and grabbed to pull me to him. "You can say me name, lady."
"K-Kisshu... Oh, oh my... Kisshu! Kisshu! Ah!" My voice must have reached him in a way I did not expect. He pushed with more force then before, groaning in that delicious way that made me tremble. "Y-Yes! Yes! Oh, please! Kisshu! M-more!" I am no longer a lady.
"Ah! Ichigo!" He was moving nearly frantically. I could hardly breathe, it was as if he was everywhere, my nails dug into his arms and back and shoulders. "N-nearly... there."
I knew what that meant and I nodded at him, kissing him hard on his mouth. I experimentally tightened my muscles and he pulled out of me, shivering as he did and pulled in on last time. I felt a wave come over me, moving me to my core. Something exploded, and I yelled out his name once more before It was all over.
He was slumped against me, spent so it seemed. He could not hold me up, allowing me slide down the wall, both of us crumpled onto the floor. Today I woke up in my beautiful home and will go to sleep in Kisshu's home.
My life has completely changed in this one night and I was excited to see how everything would look in the light of day.
Okay!
I have my computer back!
I totally have not written any Tokyo Mew Mew fanfiction in years... well, I haven't really written anything in a while have I... Anyway! I am still working on those Kingdom Hearts ones ya'll like so much and I have some Homestuck ones in the works! I swear I'm writting!
Fun Facts about this fanfictions so far:
-I drew the cover art myself and have a speed paint of it avaliable.
-I based the storyline off bits and pieces from the Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls and a wonderful animation called, "I have your heart".