Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.
A/N: Writing fanfics is getting to be addictive. Ha.
It's a typical night for Team Arrow in Starling City. Oliver and Diggle are out on their nightly crusade in the streets, and Felicity is in the lair manning the computers and maintaining communications. But the IT girl in the lair is having some trouble concentrating on the tasks set upon her.
Two weeks have already passed since the Russia trip and that particular night there, so it shouldn't bother Felicity anymore that Oliver had slept with that she-devil Isabel. Right?
Yeah, right, Felicity thought as she tried her hardest to track the movements of their target. She's so over it that she couldn't stop obsessing about THAT NIGHT (Felicity thinks of it now in all caps) for the past two weeks. But why should she be upset? It's as if there's something special going on between her and Oliver. Something romantic. Come to think of it, she does have an advantage over Isabel. She had spent countless nights with Oliver, compared to the one pathetic time Isabel had with him. Ha! Although those nights were spent in a completely platonic, non-romantic way, she conceded. There were those tiny pockets of sexual tension, though, and...
"Felicity!" Oliver's voice boomed on her comm link.
"Huh!" Felicity started, upsetting some stack of papers in the process. "Yes, Oliver?"
"I asked you twice if you already tracked Annie Domino's location. She's on the move again."
"Yes... yes, I'm on it. Just a few seconds more." Felicity's fingers flew on the keyboard like they've never had before. Moments later the data popped up on the computer screen and she passed it on to Oliver.
"Thanks, Felicity."
"Sure thing."
Whew. That was close. She, Felicity Smoak, IT extraordinaire-cum-crime fighter, never blanked out on her duty. Ever. And yet here she was, narrowly causing a botched mission because THAT NIGHT constantly niggled at her mind.
Ugh, I really have to stop thinking about it. What happened in Russia should have freaking stayed put in Russia. But no, it just had to follow me into dear old Starling City! Oh, Oliver, why did it have to be her? Isabel Rochev is nothing but a rabid she-wolf with a model's legs out to get you. Why do you think that you don't deserve to be with someone you really care about because of the life that you lead? Do you really believe that? It hurts me to think that you do. Because if there is anyone who knows how deserving you are to be with someone you care about, it would be me. And Diggle too, although I haven't really talked with him about your love life, not that we talk a lot about anything related to romance... um, maybe except for the time he broke up with Carly. That one was heartbreaking to remember, and I am not even in his shoes. But... you get my point, don't you?
"What point?" Oliver's voice crackled once more in Felicity's ear piece.
Felicity could definitely feel her face gradually redden with embarrassment as she realised that she spoke the last sentence aloud. "Um, nothing. Just thinking out loud."
"Yeah, I heard you loud and clear." Oliver couldn't quite keep the amusement out of his tone.
"Oliver, concentrate! We're not yet done here."
"Says the one who has her mind fully in tonight's case. Well, you can breathe easier now that Domino has been neutralised. Dig and I are on our way back to the lair."
"Copy that."
Felicity breathed another sigh of relief. Oliver didn't get to hear the rest of her mind babbling aloud after all. She'll never live it down if he did. She hid her face in her hands. What had upset her more than THAT NIGHT was what Oliver said that day in the office. But really now. Sure, his life is anything but ordinary. Yet he is still very much capable of loving no matter how he lives his life. That much is revealed in his statement without him actually having to say it. He is also a warm and caring person underneath those five years' worth of seemingly impenetrable layers of horror, loneliness and fear. It will surely take a more than just a year for Oliver to fully grasp once more the idea of loving and being loved in return. And it will take a woman strong enough to break through the already damaged man's tough layers without breaking him further.
So with the way Oliver believes about himself now, a part of Felicity supposes that the woman he ends up with might not be her-and her heart constricted a bit at this-but she can rest easy with the knowledge that Oliver Queen is with someone who...
Stop it, Smoak! Felicity berated herself. You can babble yourself to death about the whole sleeping in Russia thing, make yourself believe that you'll be happy that Oliver is happy with someone else when that time finally comes. But just face it, in your heart of hearts you hope that you're that woman. The woman who will bring light and happiness into his life.
That someone who Oliver could really care about.
Because she definitely, absolutely, cares for him deeply.
Why would she obsess about the whole thing if she didn't?