Hermione to the Rescue

A/N - Draco gets to be a hero!

Disclaimer – I own absolutely nothing except the plot bunny.

Hermione just couldn't understand it. And that meant that something was very, very wrong. Because when Hermione didn't understand something, it meant that the world had turned upside down and inside out; that hell had frozen over; that Voldemort had given up mass-murder and taken up knitting instead.

Why couldn't Ginny hold down a boyfriend?

As she hurriedly pulled some clothes on and prepared to apparent to Ginny's side for some much needed comforting, Hermione pondered her best friend's complicated love life. After the war, Ginny and Harry had reunited blissfully, only to have the relationship end with Ginny in hysterics after Harry drunkenly kissed Cho Chang at a school reunion. The Weasley family, even Ron, had ostracised Harry for a full year before giving into his sincere grovelling. He and Ginny had managed to salvage a shaky friendship, and Harry had only just come to terms with the fact that Ginny would never take him back. Then there was an intense fling with Oliver Wood. Another relationship that not only ended in tears, but was also interspersed with tantrums, arguments and very noisy make-up sex (Hermione could testify to this – she and Ginny had been flatmates at the time). After Oliver there was a string of one night stands (Ernie MacMillan, Seamus Finnegan, Blaise Zabini to name just a few), and then Ginny's most recent squeeze – Roger Davies. Roger was a successful businessman now, heading a company that made and tested state-of-the-art Quidditch balls. On the surface, he seemed perfect for Ginny. But soon the cracks began to show: he was insecure (he had always wanted to be a Quidditch player, not stuck on the sidelines supplying equipment), prone to depression and bouts of rage, and constantly accused Ginny of cheating on him or lying to him. Finally, it seemed, she had decided to put an end to the relationship after Roger had blown a comment she'd made completely out of proportion.

Hermione wondered why Ginny put up with all these awful men: it wasn't as if she couldn't have any guy she looked at. She was widely regarded as one of the most beautiful and talented witches in the country. She was only four years out of Hogwarts and already a household name: her interviews with wizarding celebrities were world-renowned for their wit, incisiveness and originality. So why couldn't she find herself a decent man?

Hermione apparated and found herself in Ginny's flat, standing next to a large, sobbing bundle of duvet and tissue. Kneeling down, she took Ginny in her arms and led her to the kitchen, where Mrs Weasley was busy making tea and a large assortment of cakes.

'Never mind, dear', Molly soothed, 'Neville's available, and you know he's always had a soft spot for you.'

Ginny only bawled louder.

'What's wrong with me?' she cried, 'I'm twenty-two and I've never had a normal relationship. It must be me. What am I doing wrong? Is it because I can't make soufflés? Is it because I didn't change their bed linen for them? Is it because I'm fat?'

Molly gave Hermione a look, and Hermione took control: 'No, no and no, Gin. It's not you. It's them. They're idiots and prats and they don't deserve you. It's because they're jealous of your success, and you're so beautiful they're terrified you're going to run off with someone else. It's their insecurities, not you at all.'

'It's true, darling,' Mrs Weasley said, 'Any man would be lucky to have you by his side.'

'Then why does nobody want me by their side?' Ginny lamented.

'We just have to find you the right man, that's all. And that's something I can take care of.' Hermione had a plan. And she was going to make sure it worked, because otherwise she might just have to owl hell and ask if they'd installed the central heating yet.

The next week found Hermione marching through the Ministry and on a mission. She had constructed a list of available men whom she thought might be suitable, steady boyfriend material for her dearest friend and soon-to-be sister-in-law. All the candidates had replied to her owl to express a definite interest in becoming Ginny's next love interest, and she had sent them back an interview time. Now she could grill them on their intentions, their histories and their prospects. Perfect.

After four hours of intensive questioning, however, Hermione was not so hopeful. Nowhere could she find a man who in her opinion was intelligent, handsome or devoted enough to heal Ginny's maimed and twisted heart. And by the end of the day, Hermione was positively glum. She was just deciding to pack things in and admit utter defeat, when there was a knock at her door.

'Come in.'

The door opened to reveal Draco Malfoy cutting an impressive figure in a flawlessly tailored suit and immaculate hair. He still wore his trademark smirk, she noted, although from what she'd heard, he'd finally earned it – successfully building his own business empire from the ruins of the Malfoy fortune. And quite frankly, anyone who claimed not to be instantly turned on by that smirk was outright lying. She schooled her features to look cool and collected.

'Mr Malfoy. How can I help you?'

'Granger. I heard you were looking for someone.'

'Someone?'

'Someone... for Weasley. The girl Weasley.'

'I think you'll find she goes by the name of Ginny.'

'Right. Her.'

'What about it?'

'Well, I just popped by to ask why I wasn't on your list?'

'I beg your pardon.'

'Your list of eligible men. Why wasn't I on it?'

Hermione just stared at him.

'Well, what's wrong with me? What has... Anthony 'flobberworms could get better grades than me' Goldstein got that I haven't?'

Hermione gurgled inaudibly.

'I mean, I'm clearly intelligent – I've got my own company and I'm not bad looking, right?'

'No, you're... you're not bad looking at all,' Hermione squeaked.

'Well?'

'Well, it's just that... you hate Ginny.'

'No I don't.'

'You don't?'

'No.'

Malfoy stopped.

'Yes?' Hermione prompted.

'I don't hate her at all. I... we... I got to know her a bit when she had that fling with Blaise you see and... and... I don't hate her.'

'Wow. You don't hate her, Malfoy. Well that's great, I'm sure she'll be delighted to go out with someone who doesn't hate her-'

'Shut it, Granger. You know what I'm trying to say. I... it's not just that I don't hate her. I love her.'

Hermione was back to staring.

'I've been in love with her for years. I first noticed her when she hexed me in fifth year. Then she left Hogwarts and I heard she wanted to become a journalist, so I... well, I'm friends with the editor of the Prophet and I asked him...'

'You bribed him into giving Ginny her job?'

'No! I told him he wouldn't regret taking a chance on her, and I was right, wasn't I? I kept finding excuses to go to see him so I could catch a glimpse of her. But every time I did she was with someone, or crying over someone.'

'Why didn't you ask her out when she was single?'

'Because I thought she'd hate me and reject me – I couldn't bear that. Better to love from afar.'

'Then why come to me now?'

'Because you could plead my case, right? She'll listen to you. You can tell her that I'm a nice guy... well, mostly, and that...'

'That she owes you her job?'

'No. No, you mustn't tell her that. That has to stay a secret or she'll think I'm a stalker or something.'

'She might be justified,' Hermione mumbled, but out loud she said, 'Okay, Malfoy, thanks. I'll think about it.'

And she did. She thought about it all night, and came to the conclusion that it was worth a shot. It took Ginny some time to agree to see Malfoy, but in the end she did. Hermione waited up in Ginny's flat to find out the outcome. Just as Hermione was starting to doze off, the lock went in Ginny's door, and the woman herself entered, turned, and saw Hermione sitting on her couch.

'Well?' said Hermione eagerly.

'It was fine,' Ginny replied evenly, and walked into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

Hermione was flabbergasted. Ginny's dates wee never just 'fine'. They were either 'wonderful' or 'awful', generally with a large range of adjectives filling in the gaps. What did 'fine' mean?

But that was all Hermione got from Ginny for weeks, although she continued to date Draco Malfoy, who lavished her with flowers, romantic dinners, weekend breaks in Tuscany; in short, everything he could think of to prove his devotion. Weeks turned into months, and still the relationship was just 'fine'. Until one day, Hermione got the floo call that she had been expecting and dreading for some time now. Ginny's face appeared in the flames, dry eyed this time, and pronounced that she had ended things with Draco.

'Do you want me to come over?' Hermione asked tentatively.

'If you like,' was the reply, and then Ginny was gone.

Hermione apparated over to find Ginny in the kitchen, soberly preparing a large roast dinner with her famous cheesecake for pudding. Hermione made herself a tea and sat down.

'Well?' she said, 'Are you going to tell me what went wrong?'

Ginny took her time replying.

'Nothing.'

'What?'

'I said, nothing went wrong.'

'Then...'

'It would have gone wrong.'

'I don't...'

'Don't you see, Hermione?' Ginny burst out viciously, 'I'm not supposed to be happy. When I'm happy I get crushed. Crushed!' She emphasised, pounding her rolling pin on the work surface, 'Like a beetle. And with Draco...'

'Yes?'

'With Draco I was happier than I've ever been. So it stands to reason that I was going to get crushed harder than ever before. And I just can't take another crushing. Not from my soul mate. Not from him.'

And Ginny finally let the grief take her over. The tears racked her body so hard that she couldn't move. Hermione didn't know what to do – she's never seen Ginny in this state before. But before she could do anything, Ginny's door imploded and Draco Malfoy came striding through the now-empty doorframe and swept the weeping red-head up in his arms. She looked up at him through swollen eyes, astonished.

'Draco?'

'Weasley, accept it. I make you happy; you make me happy. You're the woman of my dreams and I'm damn well going to make you marry me and we're going to have three children and a cosy manor house somewhere in the Yorkshire Dales, and we're going to live happily ever after. And that's all there is to it. Alright?'

Ginny blinked. 'Alright.'

Hermione grinned. Things made sense again, now. Mission accomplished.