The topic was brought up because Carmilla didn't know. She didn't know that when she asked why Laura never learned how to drive, she was asking a whole other question entirely. The topic was brought up because Laura never realized how closed off she was towards her girlfriend. How little she had told Carmilla about herself. It was brought up because Laura knew everything there was to know about Carmilla, all of the landmarks and checkpoints that brought them together, but Carmilla didn't know what Laura's middle name was, let alone why she was afraid of thunderstorms, and why when she mentioned her dad, it was only her dad.
"If I'm going to tell you why, you're going to have to go get something for me." Laura had said after the initial shock of the question.
Carmilla had raised a brow in concern, the rest of her features either falling into curiosity or bunching up in confusion. She thought back to the night months ago now when she had told Laura about her past, the younger girl accompanied with sock puppets to dull the pain of the memories.
Carmilla sighed, nodding her head. "Okay."
Laura waited for her to return with the puppet theatre and sock puppets before settling down onto their bed.
"How you managed to save these, I will never know." Carmilla said as she set everything up in front of her.
"My mother made those when I was little." Laura said absentmindedly as she watched Carmilla set up the theatre and hand her the sock puppets. She shook her head, "You have to do it."
"Me? Why?" Carmilla asked, searching Laura's sullen face for an answer. Why was her girlfriend so sad all of a sudden?
Laura bit her lip, feeling the tears begin to well up. "Please Carm, I can't."
Carmilla nodded quickly, slipping each hand into a puppet and kneeling on the bed. "Okay, okay. Just don't expect it to be anything like your Shakespearean show back in October. I've never done this before." She said jokingly, hoping to crack a smile on her girlfriend's face.
Laura smiled sadly, nodding her head. "When I was five, my mother and I went to the grocery store to buy milk for cookies. I couldn't eat cookies without milk back then."
"Amateur." Carmilla commented as she stuck her tongue out at an odd angle in concentration, as she had the puppets look like they were driving in a car.
Laura looked at her expectantly.
Carmilla sighed, clearing her throat so she could make her 'cupcake voice', "Mommy, we're out of milk!"
Laura nodded before continuing, "It was raining, and it had been cold for weeks. Canada gets ridiculously cold in December."
Carmilla nodded, noticing that Laura was talking slowly, from memory. Her lip quivered as she paused to take a shallow breath. Carmilla placed a hand on Laura's knee, mimicking that moment all those months ago. "You don't have to tell me. I can wait, Laur."
Laura shook her head, "No. I'll finish telling the story. You deserve to know. I know your past, it's only fair."
Carmilla waited silently for Laura to continue telling the story about the night her mother died. It was only to be suspected, she had never mentioned her before this moment, and she was crying.
"On the way back from the grocery store, we were singing along to the Lion King soundtrack." Laura smiled at that, looking again to Carmilla to play the story out in the puppets.
Oh. Right. Carmilla tried to quickly think of a Lion King song, muttering out a garbled rendition of Circle of Life, causing Laura to let out a wet laugh.
"She looked at me to sing the chorus, and she didn't see the black ice that was in the middle of the road."
Carmilla thought quickly of a way to act it out in the puppets, but came up empty, so she silently listened to Laura as she failed to pause and make her recreate it.
"We went into a skid, right into the ditch on the side of the road. I remember the heat, the flash of our headlights before they died, the loud crunch of metal cracking into bone. I remember my mother folding into herself as the steering wheel cut into her chest." Laura whispered, tears streaking her face. "I remember her turning to me and telling me everything was going to be alright. That Dad was going to come soon. I remember her telling me she loved me more than anything else that life could have ever thought to give her, and I remember her holding my hand until her grip went limp."
Carmilla felt tears drip down her own cheeks, ignoring them as she sat silently and allowed Laura to finish her story.
"I watched my mother die before I even knew my multiplication tables." She said, her voice raw with emotion. "That's why I never learned how to drive, because I'm terrified of dying and leaving the people I love behind. It's why I'm afraid of thunderstorms. It's why when I look at you across the room during moments of silence, I look at you like it were my last. I don't want to leave you like my mother had to leave me."
Carmilla shook her head rapidly, taking off the sock puppets and moving to pull Laura into her lap.
"I know that the things I do here, with the campus, trying to save all of these people's lives. Trying to save my friend's lives, trying to save yours. I do it because I couldn't save my mothers, but I'm older now, smarter, I can do it." Laura said through a sob, burying her face in Carmilla's neck.
Carmilla felt her heart break a million times over for the girl in her arms. Wrapping her arms around Laura's shaking body, she pressed a kiss to Laura's temple. "You're not going to leave me, not like your mom left you." She whispered into her hair. "I won't let that happen. We're going to save everyone creampuff, we're going to make sure that no one dies this time." She knew she was spouting lies, but it was what Laura needed to hear at the moment, and Carmilla would always give Laura what she wanted, as long as she would allow her to.