"Oh, wait. Are you gay?"
"…Am I WHAT?" Sasuke snapped.
"Gay. I read about it in a book. You have so many girls who like you, but you just ignore them. You have to be gay." Sai was pushing his luck again, making assumptions based on his readings.
"NO! What. No." The Uchiha was thoroughly pissed off now, struggling to keep his temper in check. He was not getting kicked out of the Leaf for violating his probation because of this idiot.
"What are you two arguing about now?" Naruto questioned half-heartedly, just having been woken up from his mid-training nap under a nearby tree. The commotion had also alerted Sakura and Kakashi, who had been on the other side of the field practicing genjutsu.
"I'm just helping Sasuke come out of the closet." Sai said, grinning. "It's times like these when it's good to have friends' support."
Naruto responded with uncontrollable laughter.
"Wait, what?" Sakura questioned, a look of utter confusion on her face.
"He thinks I'm gay." Sasuke scoffed. "This homo thinks I'm a homo, too."
Sakura tried to hold back a giggle, but failed.
"WAIT. Waitwaitwaitwait!" Naruto ceased laughing and got a serious look on his face. He lowered his voice so just Sakura and Sasuke could hear. "Do you really think Sai's gay?"
They stood thinking for a moment.
"That would explain so much!" Sakura whispered back.
"Ugh." Sasuke sighed.
"Hey, Sai. You aren't gay, are you?" Naruto questioned deviously.
"No…" The socially-challenged boy replied.
"Really? I think you're in denial! Why do you always call Sakura ugly? Why do you always say I'm dickless? I bet you have a crush of me because I'm just so cool and you're totally in denial!" The blond declared. "Ha! I bet you think Sasuke's hot too! Because why else would you ask if he was gay?!"
"If I were in fact gay, then wouldn't I find Sakura attractive?" Sai deadpanned.
He spent the rest of the day in the hospital.