author's note: i had intended to post this on the one year anniversary of the Benefits, but i'm awful with time managment and things. so, here is a Jadie one-shot that i think you'll all enjoy greatly.

disclaimer: i do not own big time rush.

i missed you guys xoxo

"I think I'm going to ask her." James had said. And, despite the skeptical looks on his three best friends faces, it felt entirely right for him to be saying it. He'd thought about this for three years, now. Since the day he'd first propositioned and penetrated one Sadie Grant, James Diamond thought of nothing else but his life and her life and their life together. Because, something inside of him - something deep inside an in-it-for-the-sex, nineteen-year-old James - knew he'd end up with Sadie Noelle Grant, "I think I'm going to ask her to marry me."

Logan was the first one to say something, "I think you should go for it." Kendall - who, had long since warmed up to Sadie and deemed her worthy - was still skeptical. He was supportive of his best friend dating Sadie. But marriage? Kendall Knight, if he was being honest, just didn't think Sadie was the type. There was no doubt in his mind that James and Sadie were perfect for each other - he just didn't think she'd go for it. Logan, however, stopped his chances of speaking when he said, "Camille's said that Sadie's talked to her about it. Or, taking the next step in your relationship. Why not?"

James smiled at his shorter friend, then looked to Carlos. He was the only one who didn't say or do anything, and for some reason that was really weighing on James, "Carlos, what do you think, man?"

The tanned boy-turned-uncomfortably-suave-man only grinned back and said, "She's already like my sister, let's just make it official."

James clapped him on the back and shook Carlos a bit. The two laughed and did a quick bro-hug manuver before turning towards Kendall. James had given up on convincing the dirty blonde to change his opinions on Sadie, hockey teams (James had become a fan - with much shame - of the L.A. Kings), the best condiment for a hot dog, anything really. Because, Kendall was a Knight. And Knights, they were stubborn. But, when Kendall said only, "Congrats, James. Go for it." and offered nothing negative, James jumped from his seat and tackled his best friend with a hug. It was like they were teens again and not men of twenty-three, "Alright, alright. Hey, but you gotta make me a deal. I call dibs on Best Man."

"Dibs granted, bro." James nodded, slapping Kendall's hand in some shake they'd invented years ago. "That's it then, I'm gonna get married."

"We are not getting married, Diamond." James, bitterly, remarked to himself that maybe Sadie should be marrying Kendall and not him - she was as stubborn as any natural-born Knight family memeber. Why the fuck not. She was standing five feet away from him at all times. And James, he'd been following her on bended knee trying to make a solid arguement for his fucking-marry-me-Sadie case for fifteen minutes. His jeans were wearing thin. She, however, had her arms crossed over her barely covered chest - as he had sneak-attacked her post-shower - and glared, "I am not fucking marrying you."

"Why the fuck not, Sadie?" He was getting annoyed, now. To say the absolute least. "Do you love me?"

"Don't fucking play that card, Old Greg. Of course I love you, but look at us." He ignored that she had a point. Because, for every word Sadie had against this, he had one thousand for it. Still, Sadie went on, "We're arguing about getting married. Not just a casual, cute and shy refusal out of fear, you know? An actual fucking fight. Can you imagine, James, for like five seconds, what being married to me would be like?"

James closed his eyes, and even though he knew it would piss her off more, said, "Sex sex love kids sex."

"Very fucking funny, Diamond." Sadie groaned. She started to walk away again, but stopped, "Did you...you just said kids?"

"I said, sex sex love kids sex. So, yeah. I said kids. That's what it would be like, Sades. That's what I want." James was cautiously stepping towards her and Sadie hated that he was doing so. She hated that he felt like he had to be cautious around her. She hated that James sometimes walked on eggshells because of her. Sadie didn't want him to have to do that for the rest of his life. It was hard for her to understand why he'd want to, in the first place. Let alone, why he'd still fight for it when she made it clear it wouldn't work. "It'd be crazy, but I'm good with crazy. I've been dating you for three years."

"I'd be a really shitty wife, Diamond."

James shrugged, "Maybe. But you'd be my wife. You'd be Missus Sadie Diamond."

Sadie scoffed, "That sounds like a really shitty name."

"Not everything is really shitty."

She stepped back, pointing her finger at his nose and saying, "Ah hah! But it will be. As soon as we're done saying, 'I do' our entire relationship would go POOF and turn to shit. A steaming, heaping, disgusting pile of shit." Sadie seemed proud of that. "Why can't I just be your girlfriend. Why is that not good enough for you? You always want more, James."

James got back down on his knee, "Because, I want you. Sades, I'm not giving up. I will propose to you every day if I have to until you say you'll marry me. Because, I am that in love with you. Have been for years. So, you're options are be a stubborn bitch or just fucking marry me."

Sadie glared at him, "Option A sounds great. Now, fuck off."

And James kept his word. Sadie woke up the next morning - after feeling James' side of the bed move - to find him on the ground next to her, kneeling with a velvet box in his hands. She just rolled over and forced herself back to sleep. At least, until James left. The day after that, she was watching Jerry Springer re-runs and texting Camille. James, returning home from Kendall's, jumped onto the couch next to her and pulled the ring out of his pocket. The only thing Sadie said was, "Do you carry that thing everywhere with you?"

It was only after two weeks of relentlessly proposing to his three-year-girlfriend that he considered giving up. Sadie and James, Logan and Camille, Carlos, Kendall and the rest of the Knight family were at Kendall's house - because, he was never the type for an apartment, really - having a fantastic Fourth of July party and enjoying themselves. Sadie and Camille were on Carlos and Logan's shoudlers - respectively - waist-high in pool water, in a heated game of Chicken. Kendall was grill-side with his Mom, and James was talking to an oddly-grown-up Katie. Honestly, he was more concerned with how old she looked than the current drama she was discussing. Something about how the band ruined her life - as far as friends went - but how she didn't really mind, because friends were overrated.

But then, Katie brought up something James didn't know she knew about. Hell, his own mother didn't know about it. But, leave it to Kendall to not keep a secret - not after the Jo fiasco. Katie nudged the brunette she'd considered a brother and smiled, "So, when are you and Sadie getting married? What's the date for the wedding?"

James took a second to joke, "Are you taking up wedding planning now, Katie?" She shrugged and he continued, "We're, uh...it's still a work-in-progress. I've got to get her to say 'Yes' before we can set a date. I think that's how things normally go."

That set Katie off. She stood and pushed her sunglass up - a bit overdramatic, but James liked where it was going, so far, "What do you mean she hasn't said 'Yes'. You two are practially already married. Sadie. Hey, Sadie."

Sadie, glanced over - unforntuately, giving Camille the opprotunity to shove her off Carlos' shoulders - sputtered a bit, coming out of the water, then looked at Kaite. She raised an eyebrow, "Kaite. Hey, Katie."

"I'd like one good reason why you're not marrying my big brother?" Fifteen-year-old Katie was fierce. Sadie would never admit that she was the tiniest bit terrified of the teen glaring at her from the patio.

The darker brunette glanced towards Kendall, smirking and hoping her upcoming joke would lighten the situation - though, she doubted it, "Because, I'm not dating Kendall. I'm dating James."

"You should be marrying James." Katie returned.

Mamma Knight stepped in, glancing between the two girls. The whole scene probably wasn't nearly as dramatic as James' mind made it seem. But, for the time being, it was entertaining enough. He wasn't about to step in. Sadie shot him a glare. Because, how dare he look so calm when she was getting reemed for making a responsible decision. How dare he cross his arms behind his head, kick up his feet and look so damn attractive while she was being hollared at. Sadie should have known by then, however, that James wasn't going to defend her. Not in this particular arguement. Two weeks she'd been avoiding answering him, turning him down, and rolling her eyes. Two weeks the thought of marrying James Diamond had been working her brain into a frenzy - because, would it really be so bad. Now, here she was, in the middle of a public - although, among friends and slightly less humiliating - scene, hating her not-fiance.

The oldest of the four women currently at Kendall Knight's house - a woman he referred to mostly as 'Mom' - stepped more forward and towards her daughter, opening her mouth for a second before saying, "You're not marrying James." Then she looked to her son, eyebrow arched, back to Sadie, to James and then to Kendall again, "But, you said..."

"James said."

James sat up, then, "I did not say. And, Sadie hasn't said anything. Which is how we got here."

Camille spoke up then, "You haven't answered him yet?"

"I have answered. I said no." Sadie rolled her eyes, tossing her hands up momentarily, bringing some water with her. She could feel Carlos step up behind her, "Why is that such a big deal."

"I was almost positive she'd say 'Yes'." Logan commented.

Again, Camille spoke, mumbling more to herself and Sadie than the entire gathering of people, "You said you wanted to take the next step in your relationship. Why wouldn't you marry him if he asked, Sadie?"

"I wasn't talking about marriage, Camille. I was talking about," Then Sadie lowered her voice and hated herself for a second, "Roleplaying. Jesus Christ. I can't marry James. I can't marry anyone. I'm not...I don't fucking know...I'm not the marrying type."

James knew Kendall was mentally noting that he was right, and pointing a finger at James saying, "I told you so." James also knew that Sadie was full of shit. She was always full of shit. So, maybe she would be a shitty wife, but he wanted to find that out for himself. So, he stood up and walked towards the pool. Sadie looked up at him, where James was squatting in front of her, and her heart sort of stopped. She felt sad. She felt like she was letting James down, and that was one one of the worst possible feelings, "You really don't want to marry me, Sades?"

That tone, the desperation in his slight whisper completely shattered her heart. Who the fuck was Sadie trying to kid, she'd scribbled Sadie Noelle Diamond onto the back of bills and post-it notes and grocery lists. She was in fucking love with James Diamond and there was no reason for her to not want to marry him. He was perfect. He was Sadie's kind of perfect, "I do. I do want to marry you, I just..."

"You're scared." He smiled.

Not for the first time, in the last two weeks - hell, the last three years - Sadie glared at him, "Don't fucking mock me, Diamond."

"I'm not, babe. I'm not. You're just always scared. And the cool thing is, I know that. And, I want to work on that. I want to try and make you not scared." He had her left hand now, his feet in the water and his face close to hers, "I want to work on this, on us, on you, for us. Even if it takes the rest of my life. Don't you get that?"

She nodded, bit her lip, made James swoon and said, "I get it."

"So, marry me, Sadie Grant." James reached in his pocket, set the velvet box - that, yes he did carry with him everywhere - and jumped completely in the pool. He lifted Sadie up, her legs around his waist where they were always so comfortable, and said, "Marry me or die. Those are your two options. Because, not only am I not taking 'No' for an answer, I don't think Katie will, either."

"You're going to regret this, Diamond."

"I don't think I will. Say it."

Sadie leaned her head back, then brought it back up so her lips were next to his ear, "I'll fucking marry you, okay. I will marry you, James Diamond."

July ended, August passed, September almost didn't exist, forget about October and November and hot shit it was already December. Sadie's mind was racing. She had no idea what she was doing the past six months, but planning a fucking wedding sure didn't seem to be it. It was two days before the ceremony. Two days before she was becoming Sadie fucking Diamond and two days for everything to successfully fall apart. Sadie wanted a winter wedding, James wanted to get married in Minnesota. Sadie's parents and family had a delayed flight - which was fine, considering it gave her less time with them. Camille was just as frantic, but seemed to hold her shit together far better than Sadie. It was probably because she wasn't desperately trying to impress James' mother, or check on flowers or do other mundane shit that Sadie wasn't really that into but Brooke Diamond insisted upon. This whole 'wedding' ordeal had been blown completely out of porporiton. A simple family gathering suddenly became a Minnesota Moment in History.

Sadie just was not ready. But James, James was there with her. He was by her side, almost the entire time - with the exception of wedding dress shopping (because, "Dammit, James. It's bad luck. No, I don't care if she needs you there, I am your mother. Until you're married, you still listen to me"). He was keeping her as sane as possible. At dinner, while they were surrounded by family memebers and friends Sadie didn't even know, James never dropped her hand. He'd squeeze her knee under the table, or slip his hand beneath her dress. He made her feel like herself and less like the Bridezilla Brooke apparently wanted her to be.

They were laying in James' bed, two nights to go, staring at the old pictures and posters on James' childhood bedroom wall. Sadie was making fun of him, nuzzling closer, laughing at his jokes and the slight tickle his breath made on her ear. He was holding her as close as possible, not wanting to let go of her and loving that - after the upcoming Saturday - he'd never have to. Sadie rolled over, "Hey, James."

"I love you." He grinned.

"I know we said we wouldn't..."

James kissed her nose, "I love you."

"But, Jesus. If I don't have sex with you, in this piece of shit twin bed right now, I will hate myself."

"God, I fucking love you."

James couldn't remember a time he'd been on top of Sadie faster. They'd been in Minnesota two weeks. They'd been sexless two weeks, because they thought - foolishly - that they could commit to not having sex until after the wedding. They were wrong. James' hands cupped Sadie's face. He adjusted himself so he was on top of her, hips grinding up against hers, letting her know he was so beyond ready for her. Sadie was trying to keep her moans quiet. But not hard enough. She switched them into giggles, feeling insane and dangerous having sex with her fiance in his parents house. One particular thrust, however, was enough for Sadie. She'd had absolutely enough of the cheap dry humping he called foreplay. James was better than that. She bit his lip and pulled at it before letting it go and growling - actually growling - at him, "It's been two weeks, Diamond. Fuck me like you know how to."

James didn't need anything more than that. Sadie's oversized t-shirt was on the floor, followed by James' sweatpants. Her panties were a completely different story. James had this nagging desire to tease her, if only a little. So, he kissed down her bare torso, rolling his tongue over Sadie's nipples, and bit at the hem of her lace boyshorts. Her hands were clutching on his back, sliding up and up into his hair as he slid down. James successfully pulled off the panties with his teeth and flicked them across the room before he reached up, shut the lamp off, and focused all his attention on inbetween his fiance's legs.

To say James Diamond was an expert was an understatement. His tongue was fast and slow and deep and hardly there. He was actually working Sadie like it was his job, and she used all her remaining energy to stay as quiet as she possibly could. James kissed back up her body and kissed her lips, hungry and much like a teenage version of himself - lustful, "God, I can't stand not hearing you moan, Sades."

"Parents." She panted. "House." Sadie's eyes opened and locked with the green of James', "I love you, babe. I love you so much."

"I love you, Sadie." He tugged at his boxers and smiled down at her, "Remember that."

Then, James thrust into Sadie, placing his hand on the wall to brace himself and keep the bed from rocking too much. He was slamming into her, not minding when Sadie chewed on his collar bone to silence her moans. He thrust and thrust harder, faster, harder, slower, slower, harder. She was whispering his name into his ear, a sound so perfect it could kill him. Sadie was a goddess. Sadie was James' goddess. And in two days, she'd be his wife. His forever. The thought made him laugh, a little. Completely excited. He started thrusting harder and Sadie was meeting him with every hit. Her hips bucked and her legs clenched and everything went dark for a second. Her jaw was slack, James was coming down, eyes closed on top of her. And, they both were panting like mad.

He waited the appropriate amount of time, letting Sadie kiss his sweaty forhead and pet his hair. He let her wrap her small arms around him and hold him as close as he held her. Then, he cuddled up next to her and sang, "Wise men say only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you." They're decided wedding song, before mumbling, "Two days, Sades."

And she whispered back, "Two days."

Those two days flew faster than the months prior. But, at this point, Sadie was anxious. She was excited and pumped and the adrenaline - she thought - could kill her. She wanted it over with, but only so she could called herself James' wife. She wanted to be his forever, if he'd have her that long. Camille, Sarah and Katie had spent three hours getting her and themselves ready. The trio of bridesmaids - Camille as the maid of honor - were dressed in perfectly blue dresses, baby's breath tucked in their hair. And Sadie, she was decked in something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue - her grandmother's necklace, a pair of blue pumps, Camille's bracelet and the flowers tucked into her elegant (thanks to Brooke Diamond) updo. She looked like a bride. And, while that thought scared her, she'd never felt better.

Camille kept staring at her, with a wide smile on her face. Kaite was doing much the same - though, Sadie never pegged her as the get-mushy-at-wedding's type. And Sarah, well, even she had a smile on her face and offered a simple, "You look beautiful, sis."

"She looks stunning. Absolutely stunning, Sadie. Oh my God." Camille was fawning, and it was funny, "He's going to die."

But, Sadie needed to be married now, "Thanks, Camille."

There was a gentle knock on the door, then the head of Sadie's dad peeked in, "Sadie, you ready."

She let out a long breath, looking at herself in the mirror. This was the day she never thought would come. This was the day that Sadie - as a little girl - completely dreaded. And this was the day that Sadie Grant - soon to be Diamond - had never been more happy. Not in her entire life. She smiled at herself and took the flowers Camille was handing her, "Yeah." She said, "Yeah, I'm ready."

The three girls left first, leaving Sadie to trail after them with her Dad. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it was odd. He looked down at her, the short height difference between them and smiled. It was one of the few times she'd seen something so genuine in his eyes. And, definitely the first time he'd said something actually encouraging to his oldest daughter, "He's good for you, Sadie. He's a good guy."

The music was starting in the background, the music. Sadie looked at him and said, "Thanks, Dad." Just in time for the doors to open, the rows of people to stand and Sadie's heart to drop into the deepest layer of the Earth. There he was - a Prince standing at the end of an isle - smiling at his bride-to-be like a kid in Disney World. James Diamond couldn't breathe, he couldn't move or think. He could only see this beauty, this vision, his future wife coming towards him, looking more beautiful than he'd ever seen her, ready to marry him. Kendall's hand rested on James' shoulder, and the taller brunette reached up to squeeze it. It was all he could do not to cry.

Sadie reached him, her Dad kissed her cheek and gave her away. Then, she stepped up to James - with the help of his hand - and mumbled, "Hi."

"Hi, Sades." He said back, just as quietly.

The service passed in a blur. There were parents crying, friends crying, strangers crying. But all James could see was the tear rolling down his wife's face when she said, "I will."

Sadie laughed at what a cliche she was being, wiping away a tear and earning a laugh from a crowd of almost all strangers. Her eyes locked with James' tear-filled, perfectly green eyes and she smiled. He said, "I will."

And the next thing either of them knew, they were kissing. They were together. They were beyond happy. And, they were married. James held her close to his body, dipping her back and getting a loud, "WOO HOO!" from his boys. He tilted his wife back up and grabbed her hand, "Come on, Missus Diamond."

"Lead the way, Mister Diamond."

James stopped a second, looking at Sadie and shaking his head a bit. He honestly, without a doubt, could not believe he was standing there, holding her hand, and saying the words, "You're my wife, Sades."

"I know." She laughed, "You're my husband. You are my husband, Diamond."

"I love you." He said.

She said, "I love you, too."

"Forever?" James asked.

And Sadie, with no regards for the church they were in, chuckled to herself and said, "For-fucking-ever."

end notes:
i do believe i am acutally dead. there will be a follow-up one-shot eventually. please review, babes. i really missed you. this made my heart swell, writing it, so i hope you all enjoy it.

and i'd love to know if you do.

my goodness.