AN: Wrote this all in one sitting yesterday and posted it on AO3 but forgot to post it here. I hope you enjoy it! Normally I get intimidated by shows that I think are almost perfect (like FMA) and don't write fic for it... but yesterday I just had to write this.
Those Stars in your Eyes
1 - Greg
"...I still can't believe our last name isn't even real," he laments, curling up in the front seat of the van. The swish swish of the window wipers are a comfort, like the heartbeat of the machine. At least it's more honest than his dad is.
"Aw come on, Stewball! It's not that bad," Greg ruffles Steven's hair. "I always thought it had a nice ring to it. I mean, maybe my reasons for picking it weren't the greatest-I wanted my music to sound throughout the entire cosmos! Whoo, that's arrogance for ya-but it's always been kind of poetic to me."
Steven peeks out from the burrows of his jacket. "Yeah?"
Greg pulls the van over to the curb and parks it. The rain slides down against the glass as if to listen into the conversation, a welcome bass to their voices.
"Like… the universe is always expanding, isn't it? Always growing and changing. Sure. Maybe the planets and stars grow farther apart but think of what's being created in between with all that stardust. I think people are a lot like that. We keep growing and changing and filling in the spaces in between… We're all different universes, Steven. Why not just name it as it is?"
Steven gapes. His dad has twinkles in his eyes, the way he does when he talks about Mom, about his days of travelling on the road, when he talks about Steven. For a minute, in the cacophony of rain and heartbeats, he sees the stars in another human's eyes.
He hugs him.
"Hey, what's this for?" Greg chuckles, holding him close.
"...I think Greg the Universe is pretty cool…" He doesn't look up from his Dad's jacket.
"Yeah…" Greg's whispers sound far away, like they'll float up into the milky way. "I think Steven the Universe is pretty cool too."
2 - Amethyst
"Wait up, where are we going?!" Steven laughs as Amethyst pulls him along to the top of the temple, to the grassy hair of the stone woman who holds the secrets of the crystal gems.
"Wait, wait, wait, you gotta close yours eyes now," she insists, nodding up and down, hair swishing like a violet flame.
"Yes ma'am," Steven does, letting her guide him the rest of the way up.
"Okay," Amethyst lets go. "You can open your eyes now."
A sparkling view of all of Beach City and the ocean stretching out to meet the horizon greets Steven's eyes. The sun is low enough that the water looks glowing with sunshine and sleepy lavender hues, low enough for stars to peek out and decorate the earth. Steven remembers spending time up here to watch sunrises with Garnet when he was little, remembers hanging laundry with Pearl in the daytime but he hasn't come often just before sunset.
"It's beautiful but…" Amethyst really isn't the type to show people the scenery.
"Aaaaand here it is!" She bounces up and down on a giant trampoline.
"Whoaa! That's so cool! When did we get this?!" Steven dashes over to join her, letting himself rise up (and admittedly hover for longer than necessary with happy thoughts) and bounce down with her. "This is so fun!"
"Thanks! I found it in my room in the fun pile," Amethyst shrugs during mid-jump. "I thought it could be our new thing we do together, since I don't really do the wrestling gig anymore."
"Hmmmm," Steven ponders, wishing he had a deerstalker hat to complete the deep thinker look. "So we're just gonna… jump on a trampoline every week? Don't get me wrong! This is really fun! But what if we get bored of this too?"
"Nah man, don't worry! I got this. So we're trampoline-starwatching too! And now just naming Gem constellations like Pearl likes to ramble on about, but making up our own constellations while we jump! And when new stars start showing up, we add more constellations. It'll be cool! I've done this a lot when I was just living in my hole. Look! It's my constellation!"
She points to the section of sky far from the sun, hidden just beyond the far-off hills and roads. Three little lone stars gathered in a line.
"I used to look at them all the time at the Kindergarten. They were like, the first stars to appear in the sky. I called them the 'Hello' stars because they were the first to come to the night. Sometimes I pretended they were trying to make a string of stars to pull me up out of the Kindergarten, but the other stars wouldn't show up because they were always late or far away. Only those stars came. Those three stars."
Steven feels tears well up in his throat. He doesn't know what to say.
"Well," he says after another bounce, another whooshing sensation of adrenaline and sky, "they did come for you, didn't they? The Crystal gems and my Mom. They pulled you out."
Amethyst looks at him long and hard, and as they fall in mid-air, they feel weightless and free.
"Yeah… Guess I should rename them the Pearl, Garnet, and Rose stars too. Maybe give the dimmest one to Pearl ha!"
Steven laughs along with her.
"Hey, now it's your turn," Amethyst nudges him in another bounce. "Make up a story in the stars. Let's find a Steven Star. And a Connie one too! Oh, and Smokey Quartz!"
The sky becomes rewritten in their names.
3 - Pearl
Another exasperated groan. Some clutter. Steven sees several dishes get thrown to the ground. A few coats and some rubber ducks too. Not the rubber ducks!
"Pearl…?" Steven peeks into the bathroom. "Uh… what are you doing?" The gems never go in here. The gems don't really need to go in. Though he thinks Amethyst likes using the bubble bath and sometimes Garnet steals some lotion for her hands. She likes the feel of it on her gem apparently.
"...It wasn't in the temple, urgh, what about here?" Pearl starts attacking the toilet with a plunger, using it as a shovel and getting water everywhere.
"Whoa, whoa, stop that Pearl! That's for unclogging the toilet, not clogging it again!" Steven dives towards her. But Pearl keeps hitting the toilet.
"Give," stab, "back," jab, jab, "my Stellerstreamer!"
Pearl dropkicks the toilet bowl with all the ferocity of Lonely Blade's crimson blade attack from the latest movie. With a startling crack, the bowl chips off spraying them both in a vicious regurgitation of sewer water.
"Noooo! Not the toilet!" Steven laments on his knees. His life will now be one of going to the washroom in the sand outside, like his human ancestors did long long ago.
"Urgh, this smelly tinge of human waste. And oh no, the stellerstreamer…!" Pearl follows suit, grabbing a curious object from deep in the toilet bowl. "Is it broken? Cracked? Do you see any damage to it, Steven?" She practically shoves the strange thing in his face.
"Uhhh…" he squints. It looks a bit like a lava lamp but instead of globbly lava, he sees swirls of sparkles like galaxies spinning around in a shining ocean of deep blue and purple. He sees a universe in a pretty glass cylinder. "It looks fine… I think?" Who knows with gem stuff? Maybe there should be a school for that. But Steven didn't do well for that five minutes of school he had with Pearl once… Good thing he had summer vacation.
"Oh thank the cosmos!"
Pearl falls back in relief on the wet floor. Which, for Pearl, must mean this steller thing is really important. The last time Pearl got gunk all over herself from a Gem mission, she stayed in her room to 'cleanse' herself for seven hours.
"So… what is it exactly?"
Pearl's eyes light up. "This, Steven, is a wonderful invention called a stellerstreamer, it acts rather like those portable star protectors or night lights humans like to buy for their offspring, but far superior. The stellerstreamer projects holographic images of the universe for you to touch and interact with, as if you're floating in the vastness of space itself! Oh, I just had to find it to show to you and to well…"
The dark blue blush on Pearl's face can only mean one thing.
"The mysterious lady!" Steven cheers. "You're still seeing her!"
"Of course I am! I do have some moves!"
"So what's her name?"
"Um…" Pearl evades her eyes.
Steven does his Detective Connie pose. "I will figure it out one day and give her an embarrassing nickname just because you didn't tell me."
"She likes her privacy!" Pearl squeaks.
Steven shakes his head with a smile. He'll get her name out of Pearl eventually. And then claim another person in their Gem family. Gem-human family? Ah well. Labels. "I think she'll really like it! Will she use it as a nightlight?"
"Well, it's not just a projector. It records the sounds of the universe too…" Pearl's gaze goes far away. Melancholy.
"...Sounds of the universe?"
Pearl's gaze, though still melancholy, softens. "Yes. Why don't I show you?" She turns a dial at the bottom of the stellerstreamer and suddenly Steven sees those miniature galaxies spinning and floating around him like little clouds. He giggles until he hears the strange humming. Like the sound of whales trying to find each other in the ocean, like waves coming to kiss the shore, like the breath of wind brushing against all the earth.
"...That's the sound of the universe," Pearl whispers from behind. "The sound each molecule makes at the atomic level, always vibrating and singing. Every living thing, precious and alive and recycled from stardust… every star sings."
Steven closes his eyes. I like it, he almost says, except-
He hears a familiar voice, one he's only heard in recorded cassettes and pink rooms.
His breath catches in his throat. "Is that…?"
"Rose," Pearl says, her voice stuck on that painful chord, that painful note. "She, um, well the stellerstreamer lets you record the songs of people you hold dear and adds it as harmony to the stars. I thought… well. I thought I might record S-" Pearl pauses, "I mean, my mystery girl's voice too. With her permission. You'd… you'd like her. She sings this thing called rock. Except there are no actual rocks involved."
Steven finds himself unable to answer, his voice stuck on the powerful and deep alto tones of his mother. Her humming with the universe, with the stars, with everything.
"Do you… do you think Rose would be okay with that…?"
"I think," Steven wipes a tear from his eye before turning back around to hug her, "that she would love that."
4 - Garnet
Laughter trickles into his dreams, waking him from sleep. Steven has to shake himself of phantoms of Jasper reaching for him, of Bismuth's betrayed face, of the Rubys floating in space. But the laughter trickling back in through the windows lets him know that this is reality, this is real.
Seeing as sleep is a lost cause, Steven crawls down from his bed and waddles drowsily towards the door.
There in the moonlight, like something from a fairy tale, he sees Ruby and Sapphire dancing in the sand, footsteps occasionally mingling with the waves. They spin round and round, as if all they can see is each other, blessed by the soft hues of moon and sky. They dance as if they've known each other since forever and they'll keep doing that even as the night fades.
"Wow…" Steven leans closer, not noticing the unlocked the door, and falling flat on his face on the porch.
"Steven!" They fuse instantly, rushing towards him as Garnet. "Are you alright?"
"Yup! Nothing a bandaid and hot cocoa can't fix," he parrots his dad.
Garnet smiles in relief. Her Garnet smile. Steven loves that smile; he can always feel how proud she is of him. Petey told Steven once that he found Garnet intimidating because she's so stoic, but Garnet has to be one of the most expressive people Steven knows. It's all in the smile. All in the hums of her silent pauses.
"What were you doing? Couldn't sleep?" Steven asks, before remembering Gems don't exactly need sleep. Then again, Garnet seems to like sleep well enough. It's Pearl who rejects things like sleep and eating more.
"...Something like that," Garnet admits.
"Oooo, a secret dance club? A secret date?" Steven waggles his eyebrows.
"Oh you," Garnet picks him up to tickle him.
"Okay, okay, I give! Mercy!" Steven giggles. "I was just curious, I swear! You can have all the moonlight rendevouzes you want! I can even make you romantic mixtapes if you want!"
"Not necessary," Garnet smiles, putting him back down. "But yes, it was something like a date."
"Oh…" Steven nods. "But, I thought you liked being fused all the time?"
"Well," Garnet puts a hand up to her visor nervously, "everyone needs alone time."
Steven stares at her.
"Okay, everyone needs time to be themselves at some point. And Ruby and Sapphire like dancing in the moonlight. It reminds them of how they met. How they first fused together on earth after a lot of mutual trust. Once a month, they like to unfuse and relive that moment. Remind themselves of that moment. Personally, I love the sun more."
"Really?" Steven never expected that. Somehow he's always equated sunshine with extreme cheerfulness, something Garnet doesn't exactly show all the time though she may feel it inside.
"Yeah…" Garnet kneels down beside him. "The moon, by herself, is beautiful and romantic… but she still needs to borrow light from the sun. She's the love song of Ruby and Sapphire, but I'm like the sun. I shine brighter because of the two of them, I exist and shine because they give life to me. I love their love, so I keep living my life to inspire them. But…" Garnet's hands curl up, "it's hard sometimes, I admit. I have to be… perfect. Always constant. For them. For the Gems… That's why I like the Sun. It's always shining and bright, the way I want to be."
Steven takes in those words quietly. A few months ago, before Jasper and Peridot and Lapis and so much more, he might have said a simple, 'that's cool' or 'you're a great leader!' But… everything's different now. He's different. The Gems might not say it, but he knows they must have expectations of him. Do they miss Rose when they look at him? Does he cause them pain? Is he living up to their image of her?
In a way, he has to be a form of perfect too. The perfect in his head.
"...I think I get that…" he says softly.
Garnet stares at him for long time. "Sometimes," she admits, "I take an hour off in my day to just… lie on the beach, soak in the sun. It's quiet. But nice. I don't have to think. I don't have to be a leader. I can just be me. Garnet. Whoever that is."
Steven leans against her. "That sounds nice." A lot like the meditation Garnet asked Stevonnie to do.
Garnet nudges him gently. "You can join me if you want, next time. Just an hour of quiet and listening to the waves and sun."
Steven closes his eyes in agreement, letting the waves and Garnet's warmth lull him back to sleep. "I'd love that."
Garnet's laugh is as grounding as Ruby and Sapphire's.
5 - Peridot
"STEVEN!" Peridot runs out and drags him to the cornfield, "LOOK WHAT FELL DOWN FROM THE SKY LAST NIGHT!"
A mangled mesh of metal and blinking lights lies in a crater of soil and burnt corn.
"Uhhh…" Steven gapes.
"It appears to be a human-made device of some sort! I need to ascertain its purpose… Was it intended as a weapon? Their launch coordinates were off course if that was the case, I'm glad Lapis and I were safe in the barnhouse. But what about next time? I'll have to design a better security system capable of blocking attacks such as these-"
"No, it's not a weapon! It's a satellite!"
Peridot's face scrunches up. "Sa. Tell. Lite?"
"You know? For broadcasting television signals and phone lines and stuff! Haven't you ever seen something like a shooting star during the day? Those are satellites."
"What?! Really?! Humans make these machines that bright?"
"Here, look!"
He searches for pictures of satellites in his phone and shows them to her.
Peridot's jaw drops. "You mean humans have actually successfully launched these things around the planet's orbit? What about the waste? How do they clean up the debris?"
"Er…" Steven quickly googles that. "Well they don't? Apparently we're accumulating a lot of debris above our atmosphere. Scientists won't be surprised if we get a layer of satellite debris just floating above us several decades from now."
"What a waste!" Peridot exclaims. "All that metal just hanging there. Forever! Do you know what I could create with all of those resources?! We could create a space port for future visitors or just, whenever you humans begin your exploration of the universe. We could create a way to rid your atmosphere of your greenhouse gases. I need to get all that metal right now."
"Peridot, what?! Wait, are your powers even strong enough to pull that debris down?! What if you accidentally pull down a working satellite?!"
"Oh please," she scoffs, "I'm a great metal bender," (Steven probably shouldn't have let her watch 'Avatar the Last Airbender'), "I'll master this. You're talking to a great Gem technician and engineer. I can tell what metal is needed for Human Entertainment systems to function and what isn't. I'll master this before you know it!"
She starts stretching her hands to the sky, humming in concentration.
"...Maybe start with something smaller? Like a fridge? Or a tractor…?"
"No, Steven! I live on this planet now, that means I have to take care of it, especially the space around it. I'm a Gem, I'm practically an expert on space. Humans hardly know anything!" Peridot stomps her foot down. "What? Why are you smiling like that?"
"Nothing." Steven resists the urge to coo. "You're just… Yeah, you're definitely going to be a master metal bender. And you'll build the best spaceport ever. I know it."
Peridot's cat-like smile breaks his resolve. He coos.
6 - Lapis
He finds her standing by the shore, fists clenched, wings stretched out all jagged and wild as fire. The sea rushes up, as if to cage her inside, but Lapis stops the waves just around her, in a dome. She glares down at the sand and saltwater as if challenging it to lash back at her.
"Lapis…?" Steven cries out, reaching over to the water surrounding her. "Is everything okay?"
"...Do I look okay," comes the deadpan response.
From the water raging all around her like the coming apocalypse in Dogcopter III, no.
"Come on, talk to me. What happened? Peridot and the others are looking all over Beach City for you."
"...I'm fine," Lapis says drily, though the water calms slightly.
"Then… can you let me in? I think you need a hug."
The wind and water still crash and rush around him, but silently, an opening in the water dome appears, and Steven quickly rushes in.
"...Lapis?" he sits quietly next to her, a hesitant hand to her shoulder.
She puts her face in her hands and water all around her falls.
"Hey, it's okay… You can just let it all out. It's fine…"
"I hate this planet."
That hurts. But this isn't about him right now. This is about Lapis. "Okay…"
"I do, I just… Who cares where the pitchfork should go in our room? Peridot doesn't know anything more about human customs than I do. Just because she's been around you for longer on earth…"
"Lapis…" Steven pauses, "is this really about what goes where in your room?"
She stills. Her wings curls up around him and her. "...No. Not really."
"So… what is it?"
"I just… It's stupid, I shouldn't be bothered by this, I'm sorry-"
"No, no, it's fine. You can say it, I won't laugh."
"But…" Lapis looks up, eyes bright and watery as the mirror she was trapped in, "I know you want me to feel like home here. And it does, it really does. I love Pumpkin. I love spending time with you, playing baseball, making mitmorps! Even Peridot is tolerable. I just… I just miss homeworld. I shouldn't. I know. Homeworld is different not, it's not the home I knew. But… I miss it."
Steven doesn't tremble. If he does, he might cry, and Lapis doesn't need that right now.
"That's okay. If I were trapped in a mirror for thousands of years, I'd miss home too. And I know the Earth would definitely be different." Humans are always changing. "You can miss Homeworld if you want. That's not a bad thing."
Her wings nearly cover both of them. "...Really?"
"Yeah. Really."
The waves rush in, touching their toes in comfort.
"What was Homeworld like back then? I wanna know all about it!"
Lapis opens her mouth, unsure. "This is a planet that wants to destroy and reform your planet. Do you really want to know?"
"You miss it. Of course I want to know. I'm a Gem too."
The rest of the night is spent learning about the crystal spires of Homeworld, how they were like giant stellerstreamers showing off the symphonic sound of the universe. The fountains of healing touching each gem. The crystal balls held every full moon. When Lapis talks about Homeworld, it sounds like a dream from one of Connie's sci-fi novels. It sounds like a good planet, despite the terrible things the Gems have done.
"...I wish I could show it to you. The good things about it. Even just once. I miss drifting down the crystal streams, just listening to the waves…"
"Well…" Steven stares at the ocean, at the tiny sparkles in the black surface. "Wait right here," he says, rushing over to the shore and scooping up water in his hands. He cradles the water in both palms and quickly runs back before it slips through his fingers. "Here!"
Lapis just stares at him. "Um. Thanks? I think I have enough water…"
"No, just look." In his hand, the water looks like the stars, all glittering in his palms. Close enough to touch. "I can't turn back time and bring you back home… but here's a bit of space to make you less homesick."
Lapis stares longer.
"Uh…" The water is running out, dripping into the sand.
"It's beautiful," she chokes out. "I think we should try to catch more stars."
They both go out and scoop up more reflections of stars, and Steven hopes this helps Lapis feel more at home.
7 - Connie
"...Is it time yet?"
Connie looks down at her watch, through the NASA feed. "Nope."
"Okay." He waits, stares at the clock. Counts the number of tiles on the floor. Flops over put more blankets on top of her. "Is it time now?"
Connie giggles. "No, Steven. It'll start when it starts."
They both stare up at the sky, waiting for August's great big meteor shower.
"What are you going to wish for?" Steven asks.
"You really think stars grant wishes?"
"It's the principle of the thing!"
"It's a secret!" Connie sings back at him.
"Aw, come on! I'll tell you mine!"
"Is it more french fries? A special edition of Lonely Blade? A new hot dog hat?"
"Gasp! How did you know?!"
"I know you well, my partner in crime," Connie nods very self-importantly to herself. "But seriously, what is your wish then?"
"Well…" Steven goes quiet. Maybe this wasn't the best idea. But he was just so curious. Still, it's Connie. If there's anyone he can tell… it's her. "I guess… to know more about my destiny. What I'm supposed to do. I'd wish that I was more like my mom."
Connie stares at him, eyes wide.
"Sorry! Maybe I should pick something else or-"
"But I love who you are right now. I think you're perfect."
Steven jolts back up. "You… you do?"
"Well," Connie looks away, hair hiding her face. "Of course I do. Your mom… I'm sure she was great. But you're doing just as well. Better, if I must be biased. I think you're doing great."
Steven just… just sits there, an immense pressure welling up in his throat. The urge to hug her. The urge to say thank you. The urge to just dance until they're fused again.
"Then… I don't know what to wish for. I'm… I'm pretty happy like this. With all of you guys. I guess I'll just wish for Homeworld to leave us alone."
Connie scoots over next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"Then I'll wish that we can stay together forever."
Steven blushes and leans back.
"Yeah..."
That sounds nice.
Together forever.
They watch the sky fall in showers of light.
+1 - the Earth will hold you
He keeps seeing the Diamonds standing all over him, keeps hearing their voices calling him Rose Quartz. Aquamarine with her terrible tearlike gem, Topaz taking Lars away.
Steven gasps away from the bed and rushes out to the beach.
He can't think of that. It's over, it's over. He's back. He's back.
And he can't stand to look at the sky.
"Steven?"
"I-Jamie? What are you doing here? Do I have mail?"
"No, no… I'm off the clock right now… was just taking a stroll… What about you?" Jamie looks at Steven's disheveled hair, the pyjamas. "Couldn't sleep?"
Steven tries not to tremble. "Y-yeah… I just… Yeah."
Jamie's face softens. "Hey, come sit with me," he pats next to him on the sand. "We can look at the stars."
Steven curls in on himself. "...I think I've had enough of stars."
"What? But… Oh," Jamie's eyes widen. "I'm sorry. I should've… Sorry."
"It's fine."
They both look down at the sand. Maybe hoping a conversation topic will write itself there.
"...Do you want to talk about it?"
Steven shrugs. He's done a lot of talking over the past few days. With Connie. With Garnet. With Pearl. Amethyst. Even Lapis and Peridot. And a lot with his Dad. He still has bad dreams. He just wants it to go away. He just wants the sky to go away.
Instead, Jamie says, "It's scary, isn't it? All that space up there. We don't know what we'll find. We don't know where we'll land. The only thing protecting us from flying out there and suffocating to death… is gravity."
"Uh… maybe not the best topic right now…?"
"Wait, wait, I'm going somewhere with this," Jamie stands up. "Just… picture it! All of us, billions of humans, all standing to this earth because of the gravity clinging onto us, holding us so we won't get hurt. The earth spins and spins around the sun, around its axis, and still it doesn't let go. Gravity is what helps us breathe, what helps us grow."
Steven looks up at him in awe.
"So I guess, the point I'm trying to make, my friend, is that… the earth isn't going to let go of you. Not without a fight. And no one in Beach City will let a bad Gem take you away again either. I promise."
Jamie smiles and Steven's reminded of everytime his Dad has cheered him up with a few words, of the Crystal Gems rushing in to save him, of Connie tackle hugging him and making him swear not to leave her behind again.
Space is cold and isolating and so very frightening, but here? Standing on this earth that holds everyone close?
Space isn't so bad.
Not when he can see the stars in the eyes of people he loves.
Steven wipes away his tears. "Thanks Jamie. That was… really poetic. You should write that down."
"Oh!" Jamie goes scrambling to look for a pen. "I really should!"
It's good to be home.