Proverbial Onion

A/N: This is set between The Letter and Lockdown, no specific date was in mind when I wrote it just sometime between when they got the news and being locked down in the ER. This was also written for the February Challenge on One Can Only Hope. Carter and Abby must meet at an AA meeting, one of them must share, and they go for coffee and pie after the meeting.

The day had been long, longer than Carter had wanted it to be. Nothing had been the same since he had returned from Atlanta, in fact things had gone downhill faster and faster since that fateful trip. It had been 2 years now since they had sent him to rehab. Mark, Kerry, Benton all of them had been worried about him and he could completely understand why. Things had been stressful between him and Abby for some time now. Granted she had broken up with Luka and that was what in a round about way what he had wanted. But they still hadn't managed to get together. There was something between them but it never had gone much further than friends and wishful thinking would get him nowhere fast.

The news that came via the fateful letter from Elizabeth in Hawaii had just made everything else seem so out of place. They had all met up at the Lava Lounge that night; however, Carter had never made it inside. He had been walking outside heading in when he bumped into Abby that night sitting on the loading dock behind the bar. They had decided not to go back inside and he had gone with her. They together, had spent until the wee hours of the morning sitting there talking while she sobered up. They had shared a few laughs sitting there over coffee, talking about Mark and things that had happened in the ER while they had both been there. Yet there was something about seeing her drinking again had torn at him but it wasn't the end of the world considering they had all suffered a severe loss of a friend and a mentor. While Carter didn't condone her drinking, he was not going to ride her for it either. In the end it was a decision that Abby was going to have to make for herself. Carter could only be her friend and not try and fix her or all her problems, she had to do that herself. Just like he had to work through his problems with the support of friends, but the only person who could bring about change was the person who wanted to change.

His shift had been harder than normal. While Mark hadn't work at County for awhile now and Carter was trying desperately to fill his shoes, to be the leader and set the tone, it just wasn't working that way. But then fate didn't always seem to decide to bring in patients that you could not save. Mark had left some pretty big shoes to try and fill and there were times like today when things seem to constantly go downhill that he wondered if those were shoes that he could in all reality fill. He had gathered up his things from the lounge and was going to head home when he decided that maybe tonight it would be in his best interest to attend an NA meeting. It had been awhile since he had last gone and with the way that he was feeling tonight would be as good of time as any to go. But he would rather go now while things were somewhat under control and not have things spiral away from him again. He knew that there would be no second chances that much he new, he could be certain of that. And the last thing that he wanted to do now was to ever let Mark down.

Carter parked his jeep after the short drive and walked up inside. The same familiar surrounds greeted him and of course you had to love the coffee, they always had plenty of coffee at these things. Not that Carter needed anymore caffeine in his system there was plenty of that from work. He found a place to sit and waited for the meeting to start. It was now as things got started that this meeting felt different than any of the other's that he had been to, there was this need to get up tonight and share his story. Now he had been told that in everyone's addiction there came a point in their recovery where they would feel compelled to speak their story to share how far they had come with other and to show that it was possible. Tonight it seemed as if that night had come for Carter.

With shaking hands and a nervous start, he did however manage to do just that. He spoke in front of the group gathered there tonight of how he had gone down the path of self-destruction yet managed with the help of caring friends find his way back. How hard that had been to regain the trust of those who he in a sense had betrayed. He had lied to his friend, his colleagues, his co-workers, to anyone who had asked how he was doing. The answer was always the same that he was doing okay, even thought he wasn't. That night as he finished telling his story for the first time as his eyes went over the crowd he caught a familiar face, the face of the one person who besides Mark had never given up on him. The one who helped him to walk the steps, taken the time to listen to him; Abby had always been an ear when he needed it and someone to lean upon. Knowing that she had been there the night that he had decided to finally share seemed to mean more than he thought that it ever could.

As things wrapped up and people headed outside to leave Carter managed to catch up to Abby.

"Sharing tonight, that's an accomplishment for you." She said seeing him a small hint of a smile was upon her tired face.

"Yeah I know I didn't know you were here, I might not have done it if I had known." He replied back.

"Yean I can usually be found every now and then at one of these." She said, "I might have had a few drinks the other night, okay a few too many but that doesn't mean that I have given up." She said rather quietly, "it just means that I have to start that counting all over again."

"That's a long time to have to restart." He said pushing her hair back from her face standing there next to him.

"No not really." She said with a smile. "Only 7 years, 5 months 28 days and 14 hours."

"Wow you really have been counting."

Abby jabbed at his arm now, "oh come on I am just joking I never kept that good of count. Days, months, years that isn't the important part."

"No it's that first hour which turns into the second hour that is the most important; there are no days, months, years, if you don't have that first minute when you decide that this isn't your life. You make that first minute the next few go by you can concentrate on making it 10, 15, 30, that first hour, turning into two, twelve then 24 and before you know it you have your first day done. All because you found the strength to go to take that first step and walk that first minute," Carter said as he shifted his weight back and forth between his feet.

"And when did you get so smart?" Abby asked her hand resting comfortable on Carter's hand now. It was a little extra bit of connection to share between them.

"Since I started hanging around with you and you're influenced rubbed off a little."

"A little," Abby said sounding a little more than astonished at this sudden flourish of wisdom that Carter was trying to provide. "Why don't you enlighten me a little more and feed me at the same time, I am craving pie again."

"Ah, okay but just for nostalgia." He batted back as he wrapped a single arm around her but it was enough for Carter to have her close to him. Over the past bit of time they hadn't even so much as looked at each other when they were both on and the nurses and the rest of the staff had started to pick up on that. Carter knew, as well as many others are, that there was more to Abby than what Abby let on. That she was like that proverbial onion. Full of layers that when you slowly peeled them away it could make you cry.

As they walked along the waterfront on their way over for coffee and pie, unsure of where they were going but nonetheless seeming to be enjoying the silent company of the other. That was the nice thing about their relationship they didn't have to talk all the time, there was this closeness between them that existed without words. Abby could bring Carter comfort just be being there, and Carter in return could bring Abby comfort with the simple gesture of an arm around her as they walked.