"Please, tell me those aren't what I think they are. Please." I pleaded with him, the man I have come to consider family has scars upon scars adorning his flesh.
"I could do that, but then I'd be lying to you and I done enough of that to last a lifetime." My eyes start to water, from anger or sorrow I do not know; but I know that one those scars are infected and I has a doctor will treat that. "Sherlock, stay here while I go grab the medicine kit." As I am getting the kit, I think "My god those are huge" "where did he get those?" "Who do I kill because those bastards will pay'". When I get back to the living room where my flat mate is laying on our couch, only now do I realize there are tears on his face. I put the kit down before I go over to his face and wipe off the tears.
" Sherlock. Sherlock." I gently call out his name so he will move his face so I can look him in the eye and remove the tears I may have caused. "Sherlock." He moves this time, he lifts his head but can't meet my eyes. I wipe the tears on his cheeks off and say "After I clean the one scar, we can cuddle, OK?" I say all this gently because I am afraid I will scare him more than he already is. Sherlock put his head back down and nodded. "Ok, I will try to be gentle." God he is in so much pain, I hate seeing him like this. He has already bunched the blankets and couch cushions and I can see him laying there rigid, like a board of wood. I smooth his hair and ask him to relax. "Here we go Sherlock. Do you want me to do it fast or slow Sherlock?"
"Fast." He heaves between breathes.
"Ok." And I worked as fast as I could. I swiped a pre-wet towel on the cut and immediately Sherlock's back was flying in the air and he whimpered and the tears started up again. "Sherlock, I'm sorry." I say has I rub his hair in an effort to calm him it has little effect. I then quickly got the infection out of the cut as Sherlock is trying to keep his back low and his sounds low. I rebandaged the wound and I was almost in tears.
"There we go Sherlock, I'm all done. Can you lift your head enough so I can sit?" He lifted his head slowly, every move paining him. I gingerly sat down and laid Sherlock's head in my lap. He faced my thighs as I ran my fingers through his curly hair. Sherlock's pulse was far too high so I started to calm him down. I started saying "You're OK Sherlock." and "I love you". We have established that we are family but we are not gay. Slowly but surely he began to calm down. He stopped heaving and he mumbled something against my thigh. "What did you say Sherlock?"
He turned his head, "Are. You. Mad. At. Me.?" he punched each word as he spoke, I gently grabbed his chin and forced him to look at me.
"Sherlock. I'm not mad at you, I just wish I knew sooner." Both of us were so emotional in that moment. We just stared at each other for a few minutes before Sherlock yawned. "We should get to bed," Sherlock dug his face into my lap so I added "Yes Sherlock, we can sleep together." I brought him to his room and got into bed with him after I stripped down to my undies. I laid down and pulled a naked Sherlock towards me (I saw the scars after he got out of the shower and he only had a towel on). He fell into a deep sleep and I didn't sleep, playing with his hair took away the nightmares. I am going to ask him about those scars tomorrow.