Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight blah, blah, blah.
Post BD
Annoying the crap out of Edward Cullen
Chapter 1: The Things he Love (part 1)
APOV (visions in Italics)
Edward's pacing around a smoldering heaps of scrap metal, swearing incoherently while dry sobbing. I grinned evilly at the wonderful combinations on how to do this. Since Edward's out hunting, I have plenty of time to figure out how.
JPOV
I suddenly got hit with a huge wave of malice. I started running to the door, but I saw my wife looking up with the evil glint in her eye I know too well. "What now?" I asked.
"Why have none of our pranks on Edward worked?"
"I'll go get Bella." This might actually be fun. Partly because we'll all have to blame Emmett.
BPOV
"BELLA!" I heard Jasper yell. He then appeared in my doorway. "How would you like to prank Edward?"
"It depends on a few variables. Like, what does it involve, and what I get out of it." I said.
"Luxury cruise?
"No."
"Test of Edward's love?"
"Better, but no."
"Alice won't take you shopping or give you makeovers for a month?"
"DEAL!" That was the high part of my day. There was something that sounded strangely like a screamed no downstairs, followed by Jasper jumping out of my window. Alice then came up here not sad, but more of extremely furious.
"I"LL KILL HIM!" she yelled. I would've given her a few minutes to calm down, but after a few seconds she seemed extremely content. "Bella," she said," will you shield me and Jasper while we blow up his cars?"
"Will he get new ones?"
"Maybe, but about that no shopping or makeover thing-"
"Jasper offered it, blame him."
"Great idea! I'll go get my crowbar!"
"That's not what I-" but before I could finish, she was out of my room, probably getting her crowbar.
I then wondered if I would ever need a beating Edward crowbar, and decided that blowing up his cars would be good enough.
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Yeah, I know, not very good, but It's a start. Anyway please review. Any flames will get deleted.