Shoulder Angels
One day Sesshomaru was walking down a mountain trail and ran into Inuyasha. Before Inuyasha could say anything, Sesshomaru knocked him out. And of course Sesshomaru– being the emotional wreck that he was– wanted Inuyasha's tetsusaiga but didn't want to hurt his feelings in the process.
So.
He stood there absolutely confused at what to do. THAT'S when his shoulder angel fell onto his shoulder...
"What is it! What is it!" The little haloed, and white winged angel asked eagerly. "Are you too dense to work out something without my help–huh!"
Sesshomaru blinked many times in astonishment ,then coming to his senses stuttered in reply . "Uh... I-I didn't k-know that I had a shoulder angel!"
"I bet you didn't know you had a shoulder devil too!"
Sesshomaru looked overhead to see a devil– with horns, pitchfork, tail, covered in a red-ish suit and cape (covered in flowers similar to Sesshomaru's )- fall gently onto his other shoulder. Sesshomaru was just as flabbergasted to see this guy as he was with the other.
"But-"
The shoulder devil rose a hand in dignity as if unconscious to Sesshomaru's awe. "Fear not, for your savior has come!"
"Me?" asked the angel curiously.
"No. You idiot! Me!"
"Hey!" Protested the angel. "I'm from heaven. I should be the savior, not you! Plus there is the fact that I can totally kick your butt if you manipulate our dear subjected and oblivious Sesshomaru." The angel got down onto his hands and knees and started swishing Sesshomaru's fluff. "See. He's completely harmless."
Sesshomaru scorned the idea, andreleased a hefty cough. " Not completely."
"Oh, is dear Sesshy O.K? Has he got a cold?"
By now the devil was steaming in anger. "That's it! No he hasn't got a cold. And no, he is not harmless, I mean just the other day he wacked that deer demon's head off with one clean stro-"
A gasp was erupted from the angel. "Oh, you bad boy! Stop being so judgmental!"
"Hey, it's my job idiot!"
"Well at least I'm not engulfed in eternal squalor!"
"Angel!"
"Devil!"
"Angel!"
"Devil!"
"Cherub."
"I am not an infant!"
"Yes you are."
" Then your a-a- Mephistopheles!"
"Heh! Well there is something good about being that. I do have wisdom and power... unlike you lame excuse for a-"
"STOP!"
The angel and devil stopped their arguing and glanced up at Sesshomaru. He had a very confused look on his face.
"Yes?" asked the two shoulder dweller's.
"What's a Mephistopheles?"
Both angel and the devil gaped in surprise. "You... you don't know?"
Sesshomaru shook his head.
The devil grunted in annoyance. " Oh, great! Now we have to teach 'im Mythology !"
"Well, Sesshomaru if you really want to know... Mephistopheleswas a guy who sold his soul to the devil for knowledge and power in an medieval legend. So... basically he became a servant of the devil and only gained–"
"POWER BABY!" Laughed the devil in triumph.
The angel shook his head in pity continuing to squish Sesshomaru's fluffy. "See, the guy has totally lost it. I have one word describing him; corrupt."
The devil stopped his maniacal laughter and scowled. "Well at least I'm not dense!"
"Well lets get off this tangent. That way we can actually..." The angel's face suddenly turned sour.
Sesshomaru looked over to his devil to see him yawning as if hewasbored. "Yo!"
The devil looked up lazily. "Huh? You say something buddy?"
"What's with him?" Sesshomaru pointed over to the bristled angel still holding onto his fluff.
"Oh that." The devil pulled out a pocket watch from nowhere and studied it. "Well in about seven seconds he's going to scream bloody murder."
"Why?" asked Sesshomaru incredulous.
"You'll see."
Sure enough in about seven seconds the angel broke down into sobbing screams, pounding Sesshomaru's fluff, which began to fill with tears.
"No. Noooo. Nooooooo! I've failed! I've failed!" The angel gasped for breath then smothered his crying face back into the fluff. "Tangent! Tangent! I went on a tangent!"
"Well what's wrong with that?"
"Tangents are things of the world. And I relied my abilities on a tangent. I'm supposed to talk intangentable, walk intangentable, and BE intamgentable!" More pools of tears welled up into his little eyes. "And I went tangent! WHHHHAAAA!"
Sesshomaru didn't know what to say until he saw something that caught his eye...
"Is that DROOL!" Sesshomaru gasped at the dripping stuff and salty tears absorbing into his fluffy tail like a sponge. "You flippin' retard! Look what you'll done to my tail!" In disgust, he lifted his now heavier tail, trying to shake off the little crying angel. "Get off of me!"
"Yes!" Cooed the devil. "Use your aggressive feelings boy!...girl...demon...whatever the heck you are."
Sesshomaru stopped his shaking to glare at the devil. "You. Shut up!"
The devil sighed in delight. "As you wish."
Sesshomaru, still in deep disgust, plucked the angel off his fluffy and set him back onto his shoulder. The angel had seemed to calm down now and sniffed in sadness.
"Now," said Sesshomaru in fatigue. "Don't touch my fluffy again or else..." He began to wring out his spit soaked tail and shake it carefully. "I've worked long and hard to grow this fluff, so I don't want anyone or anything to mess with it."
"Oh, it all makes sense now." Said in the devil as innocently as he could. "It's overgrown armpit hair and you don't want it to be even stinkier than before!"
Sesshomaru growled softly. "I can kill you right here and now you know..."
The devil laughed defensively. "You can try but one little note you might want to know...I'm already dead!"
Sesshomaru cursed under his breath. Who were these guys and why were they here? "Look. Angel-ish guy. Devil-ish dude...I really don't know why you are here taking a hiatus on my shoulder, but I would really like you to leave now. I've got some important business to take care of." He nodded his head over in the direction of his still unconscious brother.
The Angelwas now completely calmed down and straightened back up onSesshomaru's shoulder.The devil just laughed. "Well the whole point that we are here is so that we can help you decide on something to do with 'your important business'."
Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow in suspicion . "Well... if you can help me then I guess it would be O.K."
"Then it's down to the matter."
"About time." Huffed the devil.
"O.K." Stated the devil. " It's best we start from the beginning again. So. Uh, where was I... Oh ya!" The devil cleared his throat then spread his little arms out wide. "Behold! Your savior has come!"
"And that would be me of course." Sniffed the angel.
The devil's eyes widened in disbelief, lowering his arms toward the ground. "..."
"What!" Asked the angel defensively.
"You don't remember what has just transpired in the last ten minutes?"
"What was that? I couldn't hear you." The angel tightened his face up in confusion.
The devil clenched his hands into tight fists. "I said, You don't remember what has just happened in the last freakin' ten minutes!"
"No, I don't recall..."
"ARGGGGGHHHHH!"
Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. It was best to stop this before the devil blew a fuse or the angel got amnesia or whatever the crap was going wrong with him, again. Plus he still needed their help. "Stop it! Stop it you two! O.K. So you are both here to help me right?"
Both the shoulder dudes nodded their heads vigorously.
"Well then... Start already! Imposters! "
The devil smirked. " Call me what you will, but just as long as you follow what I have to say, not what he has to say, you will be just fine."
"But what about him-" Began Sesshomaru, who pointed at the angel.
"No buts about it! Just use your brain and follow my advise."
Sesshomaru looked astounded. "I have a brain!"
"Of course you have a brain!" Stomped the devil. "Well..." He paused. "Maybe not a very big one."
The devil patted Sesshomaru on the neck. "And that's why you will be my little-er-big minion!"
"Enough already!" Cried the shoulder angel. "I believe you should follow my advice Sesshomaru. "Down the path of holyness!"
"See!" Said the devil to Sesshomaru, who was beginning to get confused. "I'm going to lead you down the path that gets you your Tetsusaiga, world conquest, and as a bonus– eternal life and power! And all that other juicy stuff!"
"Hold on! Hold on!" Interrupted the angel. "I have a say in this too!" He turned to Sesshomaru and pulled out a radio– in this case a heavenly radio– and turned it on. Soft, sweet music began to play all around the three beings.
"Oh, Sesshomaru." Said the angel in a candied singsong voice. "I believe that you should forgive tetsusaiga for being in your brother's hands. You should forgive Inuyasha for being there and having Tetsusaiga. You should forgive you father who made Inuyasha and Tetsusaiga in the first place. But most importantly of all..."
Sesshomaru leaned closer. "I believe you should forgive yourself." With that, the angel nodded his approval and turned off the heavenly music.
"Um..." Sesshomaru looked down and into the little angel's eyes.
"Yes?" Asked the angel hoping that he had him on his side now.
"I thought I told you not to swish my fluff."
The angel looked down to see himself embedded in Sesshomaru's fluff. "Oh, sorry. It's just so tempting."
"But I thought angels were never tempted." Pondered Sesshomaru aloud, happy that the little angel had let go of his tail.
"Jeez!" Said the devil breaking the peaceful mood. "You gonna take that crap, Sesshy?" Sesshomaru still looked a little torn between the two decisions, so the devil decided to sweeten the deal. "O.K. Look. I'll give you three good reasons not to listen to him."
The devil shifted his flowery cape and pulled out a list.
"Alright. Reason # 1. Look he's got on that sissy pink and shiney stuff."
"It's makeup."
"Pink and shiney stuff!"
"Outer beauty!"
"O.K. fine! That's makeup and that's a big worthless ball of fluff– for what? Fashion!"
"Hey!"
"Not you Sesshomaru. Him. He has his own ball of fluffy too!"
The angel looked at his our shoulder, and sure enough, saw his own fluffy. "Dang it! I never saw that before...Sorry Sesshy."
Sesshomaru rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Well I don't have a fluffy tail." Stated the devil as if left out looking at his spine-ish one.
The angel spit his tongue out at the angel. "That's because your not pure enough."
"That's not true! Sesshomaru is plenty evil. Have you seen how he swings that fluff around! Knocking everybody to the ground when he's mad. And here he was saying he didn't want his fluffy to get all dirty and stuff."
"Look guys." Interrupted Sesshomaru trying to change the subject "I wear makeup and have a fluffy tail, so maybe I should follow the angel"
The devil opened his mouth in shock as Sesshomaru looked over in the direction of the angel and nodded. The angel grinned.
"You can't do that Sesshomaru!" He put his hands together in a pleading gesture. "You can't do that because you'll never get your Tetsusaiga and world conquest, and power! Plus there is another gift in the package that I forgot to announce. You'll get a guilty conscious!"
Sesshomaru paused. "I'll follow you... but do I still have to forgive Inuyasha?"
"Nope."
"O.K. I'm in."
"Nooooo!" Screamed the angel. He shriveled up into the air and disappeared.
The devil looked at the shock on Sesshomaru's face. "Taking it a little to hard. Heh, see? He abandons you right when he finds no use in you. Me on the other hand, you've got a straight forward deal."
Sesshomaru stared dumbly at the devil. "Well." Said the devil rising into the air as well. See ya in the underworld."
Sesshomaru snapped out of his shock and yelled as smoke began to envelope around the devil. "Wait!" I don't wanna go down there! My father will be waiting for me! Waiting to pulverize me because I was planning to steal his swords. That is before he died. But he just kicked off anyway!"
"Hmmm... To bad." Shrugged the devil. "You already choose to follow me so that's where you'll go."
"But I thought you said I could have eternal life!"
The devil smiled. "Well of course! You'll spend it in hel-"
"Noooooooo!"
"To late to turn back now!" The devil disappeared just as the angel had, except for the fact that he disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Now. Sesshomaru was all alone. (Except for his unconscious brother lying a few feet away...)
He pondered what to do. "Hey!" He said feeling a lightbulb flip on. "They never said anything about recalling them back!"
And so, with that, the shoulder buddies came on back. But maybe not as willing this time...
"Now why do you want us?" Asked the angel who was now in his bathrobe and holding a heavenly newspaper.
"I need more advice!"
This started a whole other battle of the wills. Sesshomaru asking dumb questions and the two shoulder guys trying to convince him to come on their side.
In the midst of it, Inuyasha woke up. "Huh, What's happened?"
He looked around to see his brother arguing with someone or more like something... He stood up and squinted to see that his brother was arguing with his shoulders!
Inuyasha shook his head. His brother was more messed up that he thought! Quietly he scampered away, hoping to avoid being brought into his brother's conflicts.
As it turned out, Sesshomaru kept calling back his shoulder angels again and again until they finally gave up on him and returned back to heaven and the underworld. Sesshomaru soon noticed that Inuyasha had escaped during his ...barriers, as would be the most appropriate term.
He cursed to himself then left in a matter of mixed emotions. Well... there was always another chance. This, after all that happened in the day, he knew perfectly well.
THE END
So how did you like it? Pretty crazy huh? Just some random parody that came up in my head. (Some ofwas inspiered by Disney's Emperors New Groove) The reason I wanted to write this short little fic was because, well you don't get to see much of anything of Sesshomaru except 1. Silent anger 2. Silent jelously of his brother 3. Silent 'love' of Rin and Jaken. I wanted to see some more emotion that that! And seeing that he is all of those things above, it's so fun andeasy to give him other characteristics ...O.K. I'll shut up now.