Sleep.

It's one of the most important things that we, as a living human, need to do. It's that time slot in the twenty-four hours that we often use as a way to recharge ourselves, not unlike recharging your smart-phone, and without it, you won't, wouldn't, and can't work normally in society.

It's also one of those crucial things that we humans would loathe to do. Why must we sleep when we could simply work for that project that needs to be finished soon, or working on our assignment? Why must we rest when we could do much more productive actions than simply lying down to your bed like a vegetable? It's in one of my belief that caffeine was invented for the simple purpose of this.

But I'm rambling. So regardless of all that, we still need to sleep, and it's still damn comfortable. That lulling buzzing from your air-con, that dark glow from your computer, or maybe that warmth you get under the blanket.

So, when you're asleep and suddenly you're awake, and all that things you have before you went asleep is gone. What do you do?

Simply said, when I found myself not in my bed. Not under that comfortable blanket, but instead strapped on a cold metal table. Well, panic would be a nice word.

I snapped my eyes open, my breathings quickened in a way that should make me check whether I have asthma or not. I looked around, and my brain immediately registered I wasn't in my bedroom anymore. I couldn't see much, but I could see the stone wall, shackles chained on them, and empty cages hanged on the ceiling.

It was official. I was in a sex dungeon.

My first response was to scream. Scream for what? I didn't know, but I just wanted to scream. Unfortunately, or fortunately, my brain further registered that my mouth was bound and gagged.

So I began to struggle, trying to pull my hands out of the tight leather strapping around them. Of course, that didn't work. Whoever kidnapped me was probably going to rape me in the ass, or shove a large phallus toy in the ass.

Neither of those options seemed preferable.

So I waited. Staring emptily at the dark ceiling I was in. The small part of my mind tried to deny all of this. That it was simply a dream, a realistic dream, but a dream nonetheless. But you don't feel pain in dream, do you?

"Vell, vell," a voice further in the dark said as footsteps came nearer to my direction. "It seems zat ze rat is awake,"

It was Germanic, I numbly decided as panic grew larges as the footsteps grew nearer. There was a click, and a bright white light illuminate the spot above me, blinding me for a moment before my vision returned.

Only to feel my blood to run cold like the fear turkey.

There standing by the front of the metal table I was strapped on stood a blonde man, wearing a scientist robe, and a strange multi-lense spectacle.

It was the Doctor from Hellsing; the one mad scientist that created the whole Nazi zombie army, and like every mad scientist, the one that would make your life a literal hell. And again, that small part of my mind tried to deny this. The Doctor was fiction, not real! He's a creation of Kouta Hirano! Not something real!

I gulped, realizing for the first time of my horrendously dry throat. A terrified smile formed under my gag—more of an instinctual act than anything else.

The mad scientist leaned down to my face, a wide grin on his face. "Do you know vhere you are?"

Quickly, almost instantly, I shook my head, mumbling a negative under my gag.

"Hmm," the Doctor tapped his chin in thought as he moved to my side. "Do you know vhere we found you?"

Once again, I shook my head.

"Vell, isn't that a funny thing?" he chuckled, grinning madly as he dug something into his pocket. "You see, ze Major and I vas finishing a little discussion of ours, and I decided to vent back to my laboratory for further experiment by ze Major. Funny thing is, I found you right in the middle of my lab, vhere I do my experiment, vhen I saw you zhere, laying in the middle of the ground. Sleeping."

As he finished, he pulled out something that made me want to scream in terror; a syringe with a white, almost translucent fluid inside.

"Now, under different circumstances, I vould like to interrogate you. But I'm a bit tight on time, right now," he tilted his slightly as he angled the syringe on my vein. "This is... truth serum as I vould like to call it. It makes people... honest,"

The needle plunged itself to my skin without any force, and I watched in utter and absolute terror as the liquid inside the tube was slowly injected into my vein. I felt my view blurred as he pulled the syringe, like someone decided to shake my head repeatedly until it came off. My heart felt like something was pressing on it, like a hammer beating on it.

"Now," the Doctor said, pulling the gag off of my mouth. "Vhat is your name?"

For some reason, I felt compelled to answer him—No, it felt like something was pushing the answers out of my mouth, forcing me to answer his question. "Jaime Copperfield," I droned.

The Doctor's smile widened. "Ah, it vorks!" he exclaimed, before immediately clearing his throat. "Und how did you get zhere?"

"I don't know,"

"Vhy are you here?"

"I don't know,"

He frowned. "Vhere vere you before you are here?"

"Home,"

He hummed in response, and I could imagine an idea forming into his mind. "Interesting. Vhat vere you doing before you are here?"

"Sleeping,"

"Ah," he snapped his fingers. "You are indeed interesting. Wunderbar. Perhaps I should talk with ze Major about this... I may as well get Schrodinger here from bother ze Major." He added after as an afterthought.

With that, he left me alone in the dark dungeon. Terrified, and alone to stare at the bright ceiling in fear as I forced myself to take a deep breath, killing the urge to cry as I closed my eyes. I just had my free will torn away from me like taking a candy from a toddler, and more importantly, I was in Hellsing.

I let out a weak chuckle as I took another deep breath.

"Always look on the bright side of life~"

()_()_()

I didn't know how long I was there. I had changed singing from the Monty Python's song after the five repetitions, and I've been changing from revolving in singing Johnny Cash's song, until I changed into Meredith Brooks.

It was somewhat therapeutic, and now that I wasn't sleep addled, or utterly terrified, I was able to think correctly. Or at least, as correctly as I could while under the influence of a truth serum.

So to summarize things; I was in Hellsing. I'm in the Millennium's secret base, wherever that is. I'm strapped on a metal table, courtesy of one mad scientist. How I was here didn't matter at all. It may as well be a R.O.B or some Elder God for all I care.

All in all, I was utterly and totally sexed in the ass by the Universe.

It was by the time I sang the last verse of the House of the Rising Sun, that the trio of Nazis decided to come into... wherever I was. There were two sets of calm footsteps nearing me, followed by the sound skipping steps, which was probably from the Cat boy.

There was a clapping sound as I hit the last tune. "Ah, schön," the voice of, who I presumed as the Major, praised. "It seems our guest can sing well,"

I let out a helpless chuckle. "Indeed." I agreed. "Would you guys let me go if I agree to be your musician? I'm a good pianist, I swear,"

The Major chuckled at my offer. "Perhaps." He answered as he leaned forward. The bastard was looking at my body like I was some sort of fish in a market. Granted, it was a very large Tuna fish. "Hmm. Slightly overweight, but muscled, particularly in the legs and arms. Seems to be in his twenties, and of American-England heritage," the fat bastard leaned back, looking at the sick Doctor with a raised eyebrow. "Are you sure he's compatible, Doctor?"

The mad doctor straightened, the grin on his face widened. "I'm very sure, Major. If he's not, zen his brain would've been dead the seconds I injected the serum, and dead a minute later. The fact that he's still breathing and thinking right now is a huge sign that he is, Major."

I blinked in shock. Wait, the serum was a poison? That mother fucker. "What the fuck?!"

The Major nodded, looking like a fat kid out of a candy store. "Vell then, Doctor, don't make me vait,"
"Wait!" I screamed, struggling futilely against my straps. "What the fuck are you talking about?!"

The good Major, God bless the Major! Turned and looked at me with a wide, manic grin. "Well, Jaime, it seems I do need a musician in our group!"

I forced down the urge to scream expletives to his face. "You're not explaining anything!"

The Major snapped his fingers, ignoring my plea. "Vell then, doctor, I'll leave you to your business, then,"

The moment the Major walked away from me, I felt something prickled against my skin. I felt the world around me blurred, and as I looked at the source of the prickling sensation, I found myself staring at the feline-grin and the pink eyes of Schrodinger.

"Oh, you fuck..."

And my conscience decided to scurry away like a little bitch and lock itself to the cage that was placed in the dusty, and dirty corner of my mind.