somewhere there's a world where you and I are man and wife, we have a child, or three, and it's just fine with me. To love that life...
And somewhere there's a world where from the first we never met, or spoke, or kissed, we don't know what we missed. Or don't know yet...
It was just before dawn in the city of Balamb. Though most of the town still slept, it was far from quiet. The seagulls cried in the harbor as ship horns signaled their entry into the Balamb's port. The bells on the buoys marking shallow waters rang as the ocean ebbed and flowed and the early morning fisherman yelled directions at each other. All of the sounds of early morning Balamb blended together with the soft whistle of the breeze and the smell of the ocean. It was the perfect time for a run, and that's exactly why Zell choose this time of day to for his morning exercise.
The streets were empty, so Zell could go as fast as he wanted and not have to worry about running into anyone. He woke up early every day just so he could have this time alone. These days, time by himself was limited.
Ever since he and his wife, Abigail, bought their house in town, they had visitors almost every day. Sometimes they were her friends, sometimes they were his, and sometimes it was family. But one thing was for sure: Time for alone, while he was in HIS house was rare.
He had tried running at night when they first moved in five years ago, but it was usually too hot, even later in the evening with the daytime humidity still heavy in the air. Running had a tendency to pump him full of energy rather than tire him out and he found it hard to sleep afterwards. So, morning it was.
As he rounded the last corner onto his street he picked up his pace, going from a steady run to a full sprint. It was trash day, so his pace was slowed slightly as he hurdled over his neighbor's trash cans, just for fun. As he approached the front door, he fished his house key out of his pocket. He had gotten good at unlocking the door without even stopping. As he went to hurl the door open, he was taken by surprise when it didn't open and ran full force into it.
The deadbolt was locked; he didn't remember doing that.
Abbie must be up early… he thought.
She always locked the deadbolt when she woke up, but he was usually back before then.
This threw off his entire morning routine. After he finished his run, he would do 100 push-ups and sit ups in the living room, then his stretches. Exercise complete, he would strip off his clothes as he made his way to the kitchen to start the coffee maker, toss his clothes into the hamper in the laundry room and jump in the shower.
He liked his routine, after all these years as a SeeD, it was the one thing he had total control over, and when it was interrupted or changed, it threw off his entire day.
It was hard to believe he'd built a life like this sometimes. Just eleven years ago, he was nothing but a rookie SeeD, and now he was one of the top SeeDs of Balamb Garden. He'd led several successful missions, aided in the liberation of Timber and though he wasn't officially an instructor, he occasionally taught classes on hand to hand combat. It was even harder to believe that the library girl with the pig tail, whom he had been so nervous to talk to when he was seventeen, was now his wife of nine years, and they had a home together. It wasn't much, but he was content.
After he got the deadbolt unlocked, he headed for the living room to finish his work-out. When he was done, went to start the coffee maker, but the coffee was already brewing. He frowned, but it was big deal. He stripped off his workout clothes and headed for the bathroom.
Abbie was already in the shower.
He now had two options: Wait for her to finish, or jump in with her. She was notorious for using all the hot water if she got to it first. It was one of the main reasons he got up before she did.
A joint shower had a potential bonus, one that he would be willing to add to his morning routine in a heartbeat if Abbie was game: shower sex. It didn't happen very often, but something he enjoyed on those rare occasions that she was up when he was. He'd even be willing to forgive her for locking the deadbolt on him.
He opted for the communal shower. He opened the shower door behind her, and hopped in. She didn't seem to notice him. Her eyes were closed, and she was just stood under the stream of water. It was hard for him to see her through all the steam, but what he could see, he liked.
He inched closer to her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist. She jumped in surprise and let out a gasp as she turned on him.
"Zell, what are you doing?!"
She laid a soft smack on his naked chest. He laughed at her pitiful attempt at punishment and wrapped his hand lightly around her wrist.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" he asked seductively as he pulled her closer to plant a kiss on her lips, "I'm taking a shower with my beautiful wife."
"I have to go to work…" she murmured.
"I'm sure you've got a little time," he said as hands wandered down to her hips and he kissed the spot just below her ear. "I miss this."
"Zell, let me finish my shower. You'll make me late."
"Oh come on Abbie," he sighed. "It's been over a month. Don't tell me you're still mad at me."
"I have to get ready for work," she said as she pushed him away. "The shower is all yours."
"Abbie…" he called, but she had already wrapped herself in a towel and fled the bathroom.
Disappointed, but not surprised, he let out a heavy sigh and leaned his head against the wall.
When he finished his shower he hopped out and wrapped his towel around his waist and carefully made his way to the sink so as not to slip on the tile floor. He wiped the steam off of the mirror and stared at his reflection. He couldn't help but chuckle at how much he had changed from his teen years. Gone was the boyish softness of his youth. His appearance was more rugged and defined, yet he was still young in spite of the crows feet and beginnings of laugh lines around the corners of his mouth. It was an unfortunate side effect of his years in a combat, he supposed.
Once he finished in the bathroom, he got dressed and went to the kitchen for his coffee and breakfast. Breakfast was another thing he usually did alone but he was happy to have company, even if Abbie had shut down his advances. It had been a while since they'd had breakfast together. Maybe, it would give them a chance to chat.
"Hey," he said when he entered the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee.
"Good morning," she replied, her tone flat.
He gave her a quick kiss on the cheek and surveyed the contents of the fridge.
"Can I make you some breakfast?" he asked. "Maybe some eggs and toast?"
"I'd love that, but I have to get to work," she said and finished the last of her coffee. "Rain check?"
He was disappointed, but there wasn't much he could do about it. He had to work, same as him. Though her job was a little more "normal" than his was. She was the director of the Balamb Public Library and she had been for about a year. She was good at it, too. The board of directors had given her an award for her work at making the library more profitable while even though they were doing renovations.
"Rain check it is," he sighed in defeat. "Hey, how about we go out tonight? What do you think about dinner in Dollet? We could get a hotel..."
"We've got that cook out at Selphie's place tonight, remember?" she answered, though she didn't really seem that disappointed, "and you promised to make the potato salad."
"I don't remember saying I would do that!"
"Okay, so I volunteered you!" she laughed.
"Baby, you really have to stop doing that. Now Selphie is probably going to call me later to get me to make everything else."
"I guess you'll just have to tell her no then!" she laughed as she headed for the door.
"That's not the point, Abbie…" he sighed. "I have things to do today."
"Oh, you'll be fine. I'll meet you there?"
She gave him a kiss before heading to the door.
"You're not coming home before the party?" he asked as he trailed behind.
"I told you last night, we're doing inventory today," she said casually.
"No you didn't," Zell said. He was starting to get irritated.
"Yes, I did," she snapped. "Why are you making such a big deal about this?"
He could think of lots of reasons to make a big deal out of it. It wasn't the first time she'd made plans without consulting him, or volunteered him to cook without telling him. She had a habit of thinking she'd told him something when she hadn't, then she would blame his memory loss on GF use. He hadn't used GFs in ten years, so his memory wasn't the problem. He tried not to let it get to him, but it did, every time.
"I'll see you tonight, okay?" she said quietly, trying to calm him down a bit.
"Yeah…" he replied giving her another kiss, and with that she was gone.
Now he had to make potato salad. He didn't hate making it, it was just time consuming and he could think of much better ways to spend his time. Though nothing else really came to mind. He let out a heavy sigh and searched his pantry for potatoes.
The potatoes took forever to cook, so long in fact, he had time to wash, fold and put laundry away. He washed all of his dirty dishes, swept and mopped all the hard floors, vacuumed the carpet in the living room and cleaned up the back yard. Now it was nearly noon and he was bored, but the potatoes were finally done. So, that was something.
He was somewhat amazed that he'd been able to spend the entire morning alone though. He half expected a random visitor to show up. It wasn't uncommon, and Selphie was the worst offender. There was a two-month period where she would drop in every day for one reason or another. Today she was likely busy getting ready for aforementioned cook-out and wouldn't have time to bother him, so at least he had that. Almost on cue, there was a knock on the door. He didn't even get a chance to answer before Quistis barged in.
"Maybe let me get to the door next time Quis?" he muttered. "I could have been naked in here."
Quistis didn't hear him.
"I'm sorry Zell, but I really need to use your bathroom!" she said frantically as she shoved the grocery bags she was carrying into his arms.
"Take off your shoes! I just vacuumed!" he scolded before she took off down the hallway.
He rolled his eyes and let out a chuckle at her behavior. Quistis was probably the only person he wouldn't yell at for barging into his house, only because she only did it on very rare occasions. Most of the time she called beforehand or let him know days in advance that she was going to visit.
"What's with the bags of food?" he yelled down the hall.
"I need your help," she yelled back.
"Quis, I'm not coming in there…" he replied in a shaky voice.
"Not with that!" she yelled, "I need help cooking!"
Zell breathed a sigh of relief as he took the bags to the kitchen and set them on the island. Out of sheer curiosity he looked at the items inside the bags. The assortment was random, and it was hard to tell what she planned on making.
Quistis joined him in the kitchen after a few minutes with a sheepish smile.
She hadn't changed at all in the past eleven years, she still dressed like a professional and her hair was kept pulled back into a bun. She had become an instructor again after the war and that's the occupation she held ever since.
"What exactly are you making here, Quis?" he asked as he pulled a can of sauerkraut out of one of the bags.
"I told Selphie I would make baked beans for this cook-out tonight," she answered.
"...and you though sauerkraut was the way to go?" he laughed.
"That's why I need your help," she said with a smile. "You're good at this stuff. I am not."
"You didn't even get any beans!"
Quistis was not amused.
"How do you and Xu live?" he asked.
"On take-out mostly," she shrugged, "That's why I have you."
"You're lucky I still like you, AND that I happen to have everything you need to make baked beans." he said smugly as he pulled ingredients out of the cupboards. "You're welcome."
"You are a God among men, Zell," she said gratefully as she took a seat in one of the stools on the other side of the island. "I appreciate it."
"No biggie."
"Where's Abbie?" she asked. "Shopping again?"
"At work." Zell answered.
"On a Saturday?" she asked.
It never occurred to Zell that it was Saturday. Abbie never worked on weekends, at least not when he was home from missions. As far as he knew she would only work weekends when he was away; which wasn't much these past few months.
"She did say they were doing inventory…" he defended quietly. He had no reason not to believe her.
"Alright," Quistis conceded. "Is she going to be at the cookout?"
"As far as I know she is. She said she would meet me there."
Quistis seemed to notice his slight level or irritation at the subject, prompting her to give him a concerned look. He tried to ignore it, but she didn't stop.
"Is everything okay with you two?"
"We're fine."
"Are you sure? I mean, I remember what happened a few months ago…" she said as she retrieved a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
"it's not quite that bad…" he said quietly as he turned on the stove.
They'd hit a rough patch a few months prior, one that neither of them was over yet. He didn't remember how things escalated so quickly, but Abbie wanted him to become a full time instructor with regular hours and no more field work. He understood she was worried. She wanted him to be safe and she didn't want to get the news that he wouldn't come home. He understood her feelings perfectly, but she didn't understand his. He wasn't ready to slow down yet. He loved the action and the travel. He loved the way it felt coming home to her, seeing her smiling at the train station waiting to pick him up.
The difference of opinion was something that caused a lot of stress in their marriage, so much that they had frequent blow-ups about it. A few of the incidents were in public. Zell confided in Rinoa about his concerns, and of course, she told Squall. Squall, as Commander, couldn't let it go unaddressed. Even though Squall didn't want to bring it up, he had to. The discussion caused Zell to have a small mental break in Squall's office. As a result, Zell was taken off active duty and Zell and Abbie were put through mandatory marriage counseling.
They were working things out, his SeeD status was still a touchy subject for them.
"So when can you go back on active duty?" Quistis asked, playing with her bottle.
"Once I pass my psych eval, I can start anytime," he answered, his mood lifting slightly.
"Have you talked to Abbie about it yet?"
"No, I planned on talking to her about it tonight, but we've got that cookout and she's coming to it straight from work. I don't want to make another scene in front of everyone again…so," he said with a shrug.
Just discussing the subject got him all worked up. There were so many factors involved, but he didn't want to argue with Abbie anymore. He just wanted to go back to work, do his job and come home to his wife.
"When was the last time the two of you had sex?" Quistis asked.
"When was the last time you had sex?" he replied with a touch of irritation, but he instantly regretted it.
"Do you really want me to answer that question?" she laughed.
He didn't. Even though he was perfectly fine with Quistis and her sexuality, he really didn't like hearing about her sex life. He was actually pretty proud of her when she finally came out a few years ago. She was much happier and she smiled more with Xu than she ever had with any guy she'd ever dated.
"Your beans are done," he said to change the subject.
"You've been on leave for what? Two months now? Have you guys even had sex once in that time?"
Quistis was concerned about him and Zell could understand that, but he didn't really want to discuss this with her, or anyone.
"Oh, shut up…" he muttered. He dumped the beans into a container and shoved them across the counter to her.
"Zell, I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings, and I don't mean to pry." Quistis gave him a sympathetic look. "I really hope things get better for you two,"
"its fine. I'll see you later. I've got that psych eval in in like half an hour," he said as he walked her to the door.
"Good luck, and thank you for helping me out," she said.
"No problem. Don't tell Selphie," Quistis laughed, though he wasn't joking. He didn't mind helping Quistis make food, but Selphie would take it to the extreme if she knew.
"I know the rules," Quistis said and gave Zell a peck on the cheek. "See you after while."
After the whole thing about Rinoa telling Squall about the issues he was having, Quistis had quickly become his confidant. He could trust her not to tell Xu everything he told her. Even if she did, Xu kept her mouth shut about it. Zell didn't really resent Rinoa for it. She and Squall were married, they talked, or at least she talked, and he shouldn't have expected her to stay quiet about it.
Now he had to get to his appointment, and he really hoped it went well. He loved being able to spend so much time with Abbie, and he was almost positive she was elated with having her house husband doing all the house work and having dinner ready when she got home, but he missed the travel, seeing the world, and actually working.
Afterwards, he had Selphie's cookout to deal with. It wouldn't have been a big deal, but she had them every week. The only time she didn't was when she was on a mission, or there was a Garden event that needed planning. He was always grateful for those weekends.
When he got to the doctor's office he was nervous, excited, and terrified. This appointment would hopefully be his last. He didn't know what would be asked of him but he didn't care. He wanted to be done with this whole ordeal and never have to do it again. His entire future was on the line. If this didn't go well, he didn't know what would happen if he was found unfit for duty. Would he be discharged from service? Would he have to endure more therapy?
He tried several times to calm himself down but nothing really worked. He was over-thinking everything and it was almost hard to believe how impulsive he had been as a teen. Of course, he'd had a lot more on the line these days, his marriage, his house, his career, his entire life as he knew it could be over in just an hour.
"Dincht? Zell Dincht?" the nurse called.
"Here!" he replied nervously.
"This way please, she said as she led him back into the doctor's office.
He hadn't expected it to take so long and he had no idea if he had passed or even if this was something to be passed. He was more nervous now than he had been before the appointment. Now it was completely out of his hands. He had asked the doctor about how soon he'd know the results, and all Zell was told was "the commander will contact you."
Of course he could talk to Squall at the cook out, if Squall even showed up. It wouldn't be a surprise if he didn't, Squall was notorious for working extra on the days of the cookouts or other functions he wasn't forced to attend. The odds of Squall actually being there were low. Zell could just go directly to Squall, but that could be problematic as well. Squall could be in a meeting, he could be anywhere. He thought about calling several times but he didn't want to seem desperate, even though he was.
Zell spent so much time worrying and pacing his house that he hadn't noticed the time. He had to go to the cookout, and he had to be on time or risk the wrath of Selphie. That was something he wanted to avoid at all costs. He wanted to avoid as much conflict as he could, at least for the time being, especially since he anticipated blowup with Abbie. At least, if the eval went the way he hoped it had.
He couldn't even remember the last time he was this nervous. He hadn't even been this nervous on his wedding day. He also could never remember a time when he was this excited to see Squall.
By the time he had gotten to Selphie's house, he was already an hour late and he had to come up with a good excuse for it. Not a lie, but not the truth either. It was embarrassing to be this worried. Eventually he would have to go inside, or face Selphie's wrath. And that was wrath he had faced once before. Once was all it took. He had come back late from a mission and Selphie, all jacked up on pregnancy hormones, went nuts. Zell was forced to do all the cooking and cleaning for three consecutive cookouts.
It was awful. And no one said no to Selphie.
He sat in his car staring at the front door, wondering if anyone was later than he was. It was really hard to tell from the street. With a deep sigh, he decided the only way to find out was to get out of his car and face it. He slowly made his way to front door and rang the bell.
"You're late," Selphie said begrudgingly as soon as she answered.
"I've had a lot going on," Zell snapped back. She narrowed her eyes and let out a hefty sigh and rolled her eyes.
"Well… I guess its ok, you're one of the first people here," she conceded, and disappeared back inside.
He was one of the first people there? That was both a relief and terrifying at the same time. The longer it would take for people to show, the angrier Selphie would get. An angry Selphie was a scary Selphie.
"So who all is here?" Zell asked, following her out to the back patio.
"You, Xu and Quistis," She answered. "Well, and the kids of course."
How could he forget Selphie's demon spawn? He felt terrible for referring to them that way, but they were pretty awful children. Sophia, Ashlynn and Jesse had been wreaking havoc in Balamb since the day they were born. Sophia, as the oldest, was the ring leader. More than once they had set a fires and destroyed neighbors yards and parts of houses. Selphie wasn't one for discipline, and since their divorce, Irvine wasn't around enough to lay down the law. Zell had tried on several occasions to get along with her children, but he couldn't. They were just the worst.
Selphie, hadn't been a SeeD since she got pregnant with Sophia. Instead, she dove full time into organizing Garden events. which as it turned out was a full time job. She was in charge of organizing the annual Garden festival, the Winter Gala, Graduation Balls, and the occasional contracted event rental.
Her looks hadn't changed all that much from her teen years, though her style certainly had. She jumped head first into the soccer mom look, her hair was a shorter bobbed cut and no longer curled out at the end. She would always dress in capris and sleeveless Polo shirts and some sort of sandal on her feet. She had said she just wanted to look like a mom.
Irvine went back to Galbadia Garden after the divorce. He became an instructor, and even though Selphie got full custody of the kids, he got them for two weeks in the summer. No one saw much of him, and no one really knew why they had gotten divorced, but everyone suspected it was Irvine's fault. Then again, Selphie was no picnic herself. Living with her was probably a lot like living with a tiny tornado. You never knew when it might strike and tear the roof off.
"So, do you know if Squall is coming?" Zell asked, trying to hide his anxiety.
"No idea," Selphie answered in a breathy tone "Why?"
"Oh…just curious…"
Squall was possibly the only one who could miss or even be late to one of Selphie's cookouts. Zell had a feeling it was due to the fact that he had the ability to fire her if she got too out of hand. The only one who had any control over what Squall was Rinoa, though even she couldn't tell if he would show up to these gatherings or not.
"Hey…" Quistis whispered as she snuck up on Zell, "How'd it go?"
"I don't know yet. He said I would hear from Squall," he whispered back.
"And Squall hasn't called you yet?"
"If he had, I wouldn't be this… giant bundle of nerves."
He didn't want to talk about it, and by the time Rinoa showed up, he was close to freaking out.. Even if she couldn't tell him exactly what he wanted to know, she could at least tell him if Squall would show up or not.
Rinoa hadn't change much at all either, her hair was short too, though not as short as Selphie's. She had a tendency to wear short sandals and a hoodie, even though it was summer time, she claimed that it evened things out at night temperature wise.
"Zell, you're here!" she cried before running to hug him.
"Hey, Rin…"
"Hey Rin, Squall still at the office?" Quistis asked, subtly asking the question that Zell desperately wanted answer to.
"Yeah," she sighed.
"is he even showing up?!" Selphie shrieked.
"Of course he's coming!" Rinoa replied, "He said he needed to talk to Zell,"
Zell had been doing a fairly decent job so far at hiding his emotions, but that simple statement made him start to unravel. He really needed a distraction. He didn't even care what the distraction was, he just didn't want to think about the outcome . Good or bad he didn't want to think about it.
"Selphie do you have any alcohol?" he asked.
"What kind of cookout would it be if I didn't?!" she laughed.
This was likely going to be the only time Zell would feel so grateful for Selphie and her obsessive need to plan parties. At least she always had alcohol. Of course that could have been another issue entirely, but it was one that Zell wouldn't be able to address any time soon.
After accepting a generous serving of booze from Selphie, Zell retreated to a dark section of her yard to be by himself. He didn't really have anything to say to anyone anyway. He might, if they all saw each other less. He understood perfectly well why Selphie insisted on having these gatherings, but every week was a little excessive. She wanted to make sure they would all stay friends, and that was a noble cause, but Zell didn't need a party as an excuse to spend time with his friends.
The longer he sat on his own, the more people showed up, though there weren't many other people that Selphie would invite and there were only three other people that would be expected. Squall, of course, Abbie, and the target of Selphie's undying obsession, Laguna. And Laguna was the first of the three to show. Though much to Selphie's dismay, he didn't come alone.
Laguna had remarried a few years after Raine died, though no one found out about it till after the Sorceress War was over and Laguna had told Squall about his paternity. Selphie took Laguna's marriage the hardest and had been in a silly competition with Laguna wife, Lady Alana Crowley. Though Selphie seemed to be the only one who was actually aware of said competition. Of course in Selphie's eyes, that meant she was winning. Not that Lady Alana had anything to worry about. Laguna was head over heels for her and had been for twenty-four years now.
It wasn't hard to see what Laguna saw in Lady Alana; she was strong willed, she could go head to head in a heated debate with world leaders and not break so much as a sweat, she intimidated some of the most battle hardened Seeds with just a single look. She was also outstandingly beautiful and had long black wavy hair that framed her porcelain doll-like face. She usually kept her hair tied back into a Galbadian braid, but the feature that stood out the most, we're her bright emerald eyes; they were almost luminescent. No one would have guessed that she and Laguna were the same age.
Lady Alana had several men show interest in her throughout her life, but only two men ever got her attention and Laguna was only the second. The first had been her husband, prior to Laguna. He had been the Centran King for nine years before his death at the hands of Adel. It was that event which prompted her to invest a large amount of money into the resistance movement in Esthar, after she took the throne as queen regent in Centra. Rumor had it, several members of the Centran nobility were outraged that she didn't go to war with Esthar, but she was a firm believer that a lot could be accomplished in a small group with a good leader and strong will to win.
Laguna had given her endless credit for teaching him how to run the country, and continuing to help him throughout the years. After she had passed the throne on to her son a few years ago, she moved to Esthar full time. Even though they rarely ever came to Selphie's functions, that didn't stop Selphie from inviting Laguna. And she would only invite Laguna, never Lady Alana. Then would complain endlessly when Lady Alana arrived on Laguna's arm.
As if on cue, Selphie flopped herself down in the chair next to Zell with a heavy sigh and rested her chin in her hands.
"Why does everyone like her so much?" She whined.
"Because she's a likable person," Zell replied monotone, staring at his drink.
"But why?" she asked.
"Selphie… just because she's Laguna's wife is not a good reason for you not to like her," Zell answered in the same monotone voice.
"It's just not fair…"
"He married her when you were five, Selphie. There is absolutely no way you ever had a chance with him"
Zell had apparently been the one elected to talk Selphie down from the ledge this time. This was a regular occurrence anytime Lady Alana was around Selphie. Whoever Selphie sat next to at an event always had to explain that she never had a chance with Laguna, though Zell wasn't happy that he seemed to be the one to do it the past few times. Tonight he had no patience for it. He was about to unload on her about it, when something, or rather, someone else caught her attention.
"Oh, Squall is here!" if Selphie's mood had been a car, the sharp change from melancholy to excited would have given someone whiplash. But this mood change was one that he could get behind. "Squall, it's about time you showed up!"
"Selphie I just got here, and I'm hungry. Let me get some food before you yell at me," Squall scolded, making a beeline for the food table.
Squall hadn't changed his look throughout the years. He apparently hadn't seen a need too. Either that or Rinoa wouldn't let him make a change. Squall must have come directly from Garden as well, seeing as he still had his uniform on andZell took it as a good sign. Of course, he could have just been too hungry to waste time changing clothes.
Zell had wanted to run over to Squall immediately and start questioning him about his status, but that was likely not a good idea. He didn't want to ambush him, except that was exactly what he wanted to do. He had to play it cool, so, he decided to get himself some food. Keep it casual.
"Hey, what's up?" Zell asked, grabbing a plate, but all he got was a grunt in response. Squall was focused on food and only food.
"Selphie didn't make this potato salad did she?" he asked.
"Oh, no… I did."
"Good," Squall said, taking a heaping scoop and plopping it on his plate, "I need you in Deling City by morning."
"What?!" Zell felt like he was about to explode from excitement. "So, everything's cool?"
"I feel like it's pretty self-explanatory, Zell," Squall said, throwing more food on his plate. "You wouldn't be going anywhere if it wasn't."
"I-I have to talk to Abbie about it first,"
"I need to know if you're going in the next hour."
An hour? That was soon. Zell didn't even know when Abbie would finally show up. It was already almost eight o'clock. He didn't think doing inventory would take so long.
He fiddled with his phone in his pocket before he finally pulled it out. Then he fiddled with it some more, and debated the best course of action. Call or text? Both options had benefits of course. A call would get him an immediate response, but the odds of an argument over the subject were fairly high. He didn't want to fight about it, he just wanted Abbie to know he was going back to work, without it turning ugly.
Texting was definitely more discrete. A disagreement was much easier to manage that way and it was much harder to make a scene. Texting was the obvious choice, but it did have its drawbacks; if she wasn't near her phone, it could take forever for her to reply. He didn't want to miss his window.
"Are you going to be here soon?" he texted. If she didn't reply, he would call.
"No, I'm still stuck at work, sorry," she replied.
He sighed and sent his next text, "Well, I have to be in Deling City by morning, so I guess I won't get to see you before I go,"
"Why do you have to go to Deling?!" she asked.
"I was put back on active duty, Squall just told me, I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing yet, but I gotta leave ASAP," he replied quickly.
"I thought you were going to be an instructor? I thought that's what we agreed on?"
"No… that's what you agreed to. I've told you several times that I'm not ready to make that transition yet. I wanted to talk to you about this before I leave but, you're not here. So I guess ill see you if you get home before I take off."
He didn't wait for a reply. He shut his phone off and shoved it back in his pocket and searched the yard for Squall who had retreated as far away as possible in an attempt to avoid Laguna.
"Squall, when do I leave?" Zell asked.
"Be on the train by midnight," Squall answered while trying to swallow the bite he had just taken, "I have the dossier in my car. Grab it before you leave,"
Zell nodded and looked around the yard to make sure Selphie wasn't around. He already had one woman angry with him, he didn't need to evoke the wrath of hurricane Selphie as well. He was tempted to ask Squall to run interference, but he knew the answer would be no. Thankfully, she was distracted by Laguna. Rinoa and Quistis were practically using the jaws of life to pry her off of his arm, so he was able to just sneak out without being seen.
After rushing home Zell hurried into his bedroom in a bit of a frenzy and pulled his duffle bag out of the closet and throwing clothes in without really looking. He hadn't meant to rush, he was just excited. It was his first mission in months and he was ready to get started. Plus he had a feeling Abbie was on her way home, and when she got home she would start yelling. Packing would be so much harder if she tried to fight with him.
Before leaving Selphie's place, he had briefly skimmed the dossier out of curiosity. He was going to be the SeeD in command of a small team that was already on location at the International Zoo. It was a state of the art facility that housed some of the worlds most endangered animals. It employed a handful of top biologists, veterinarians and other wildlife specialists to care for all the animals. The funding for the Zoo came from all the countries in the world, as it was a joint effort to preserve the natural wildlife populations that had been nearly wiped out during the Lunar Cry. The Zoo also had a state of the art hospital, where injured animals were treated and rehabbed before being released back into the wild.
Shortly after the opening the Zoo began to get threats from animal rights groups. Soon after that, a SeeD team from every Garden was dispatched to protect the compound.
For the next two months, Zell would be in charge of the Balamb Garden team. The former team leader went AWOL and Zell was his replacement. There were no details in the file about the missing leader. Perhaps he'd quit. Perhaps not.
"ZELL!"
Abbie's loud shriek echoed through the halls as the front door slammed.
"In the bedroom," he called back, trying to stay calm.
She stormed into the bedroom, cheeks pink and her mouth set in a thin line.
"What the hell?!" she demanded. "You can't just drop a bomb like that on me and then completely ignore my calls!"
"I shut my phone off,"
"Why would you do that?"
"Because Abbie, I'm tired of having the exact same argument over and over again," Zell said, "I don't want to be an instructor yet. I like my job. I like the travel. I'm not ready to do something different yet."
"Why are you doing this to me?" she cried, sitting on the foot of the bed burying her face in her hands.
"I'm not doing anything to you, Abs…" he sighed, kneeling down in front of her, "You know, I love you, right?"
"I love you too…Why can't you just quit…" she sobbed.
"We've already been over this," he said irritably. "You know I can't do that."
"Yes you can," she said. "You send them an email and tell Squall you quit."
"That's not how it works," Zell said. "And you know it."
Abbie sniffled and looked away, her jaw set and her eyes narrowed.
"If you really loved me, you'd quit," she said.
"Abbie- damn it," Zell said. He hated when she said that. "This is our livelihood. It isn't just about you and what you want. We have bills to pay - a mortgage. The instructor job pays half what I make a year as a SeeD. I can't just up and quit because you want me to!"
"Why are you being so selfish?" she demanded.
"I'm selfish?!" Zell cried. "You get everything you want from me. I do all the housework, all the cooking, I make sure the bills are paid and what do you do? You go shopping and spend all your money on clothes you don't even wear! And what do I get out of it? Huh? Tell me, what do I get out of this? I get called selfish. Well, fuck you!"
Tears streamed down her face and Zell stepped forward to brush them away. She wrenched from his grasp and retreated toward the wall. Zell knew he'd been too harsh, but he was too pissed to care. As usual, it was all about what she wanted. In her head, he was the selfish one. Even though he bent over backward to make sure she was happy and all she was interested in was what he could do for her. He was the housekeeper, the personal chef, the mechanic and every other thing she needed from him.
"I do everything around here," he continued, so angry his eyes burned with tears of his own. "I do everything, and that's not enough. I'm tired of being the bad guy here. You won't even touch me, for fucks sake! You act like you can't stand me, like I'm some creepy pervert for wanting you and I don't know what I did wrong!"
"I hate you…" she whispered.
"I hope you don't mean that," he said as he stuffed a pair of cargo pants into his bag.
"Don't go," she demanded and grabbed the pants he'd put in his bag. She threw them across the room and glared at him. "I need you to stay. I want you to stay."
"I have to go, Abbie. It's not a choice."
"You just want to get away from me," she cried. "You're punishing me, aren't you?"
"Why the fuck -" Zell cut himself off and retrieved the pants from the floor. "This is my JOB Abbie!"
"That's all you care about, isn't it?" she said. "Your job, your job, your job, you, you youyouyou!"
"Goddamn it, I don't have time for this," he said. "Are you done?"
She sized a vase of the dresser and hurled it at him. He ducked as it passed by and hit the wall with a loud crash, less surprised than he should have been. It wasn't the first time she'd thrown something at him, but it was the first time it was an expensive thing.
"What the hell?! Stop it!"
She wasn't done. A lamp came at him this time. It hit the nightstand and bounced to the floor, the shade bent at a funny angle as it rolled across the floor.
"This is why we can't have nice things, Abs," Zell said. "Stop throwing shit at me!"
"I HATE YOU!" she screamed. This time, it sounded like she meant it.
"GOOD!" He roared back. "Then I guess you won't miss me, will you?"
"Fine! See if I care," she said. "Just go!"
She dissolved into tears and slumped onto the bed, her face in her hands.
"Maybe this is a good thing," Zell said as he tried to calm himself. "Maybe we just need... some time apart."
Abbie looked up at him with big, scared eyes.
"What are you saying?"
"You know what I'm saying," he sighed, "I won't be in any danger. Hell, I'll be patrolling a zoo for the next two months. Not that exciting. No reason to worry."
"Get out," she said quietly.
"What?"
"You heard me," she said. "If you're going to go, get your things and leave. Go get shot for all I care. Just...leave."
"Abbie -"
"Now, Zell."
Zell was so angry, he was shaking but he couldn't say another word. Without so much as a glance back at her, he picked up his duffle and left.
He made sure to slam it on his way out.
Big thank you to Lecritic for beta reading/editing!
Just so everyone is aware, this is meant to be a kind of alternate version of I'll be your knight and so far I'm really happy with how this is going to go down. Reviews are always appreciated!