He thinks he was born in love with her. He's sure that he was born with the hole in his heart that she would inevitably replace (or maybe he would die with it).
He's so utterly in love with her and he hates it, wants to hate her.
So when the Capitol decides to turn him against her, he's relieved. He's in so much pain he can't imagine ever being happy again. Katniss would be the only who could fix him, but he knows she would never try. He loves her but he hates how indifferent she can be, how he pours his heart and soul out to her and it's still never enough. She just stares at him with her cool grey eyes and breaks him so completely that he embraces hating her.
He knows she doesn't do it intentionally. She's just emotionally unavailable and rightfully so; everyone she loves disappoints her. So she's cold and aloof and can't bring herself to care about anything, except Prim.
He also knows that he doesn't really hate her (it's hard not to when a part of you screams in protest when you attempt to choke her) but he wants to so badly. He's bitter and hates that she's the one who's made him this way. Even as he screams out that she's a mutt and evil he knows this is wrongwrongwrong. He's supposed to love her and protect her, and always be the boy with the bread. Still, the bitter parts of him relish at the hurt he senses in her cool grey eyes when he wraps his fingers around her neck. At some point during his captivity, she realized she loved him. He can't help but laugh at the irony of it all.
One day, they'll grow back together.
One day, he'll fix her, like he knows he's meant to.
One day he won't be so bitter and she won't be so cold.
One day.
Fate is fickle like that.
A/n
So, yep, first Hunger Games Fanfiction I've ever written so feedback would be nice.
This is just a drabble on Peeta's part.