"Honey, won't you have a little more dessert?" Carol Brady asked her husband. "I made it myself".
"Yeah, go on, Dad, it's Sunday after all", said Greg.
"You're allowed to make a hog of yourself if you want to", Peter told Mike. Greg kicked his brother under the table.
"That will do, Peter", his father scolded. "I'm sorry, Carol, I'm just too nervous too eat a big lunch", he continued moodily. "I'm glad it's not every day you have to visit the new senior partner of your firm".
"Oh, Mike", remonstrated Carol, "I'm sure Mr. And Mrs. Engelson will be very welcoming".
"And we've promised we'll be on our best behavior", said Peter, "even me. Right, guys?"
"Right", chorused the five other Brady kids.
"And we're all going to look thwell in our new clotheth", lisped Cindy.
"I still don't see why we have to walk instead of taking the car, though", complained Bobby.
"Well, the Engelsons only live in Hollywell Street", said Marcia, "and Jan and I thought the Bradys should do something for the planet, so I suggested to Mom that maybe we could get there through the park".
"It sure is a nice day for walking", agreed Jan.
"Huh", said Bobby, slumping in his chair.
"Bobby, I thought you just said you were going to be on your best behavior", Mike told him, still in a bad mood. "Now eat up, and don't let me hear you whining again".
"I'm sorry", said Bobby. Over on the other side of the table, he could see Peter and Jan conferring about something or other. Marcia was picking at her dessert and looking a little withdrawn. Carol and Greg seemed to be cheerier as Cindy told them about what she'd been doing in school. Once everyone had finished eating, Peter stood up.
"Hey, I've got an announcement to make", he said. "Once we're done clearing the table, can all you guys gather in the living room".
"Whatever you're doing, just don't let it be too long", warned Mike. While the rest of the family cleared the dining space, Peter seemed to be in half a dozen different places at once, asking to borrow things and running up and down the stairs with various bits and pieces. Finally, the seven other Bradys, along with Alice, were seated in the living room. Bobby noticed Alice had her cassette player with her. Peter stood up in front of them all.
"Lay-deez and gen'almen", he announced in a fairground barker's tone, "this afternoon you are about to experience somethin' fantastic, somethin' amazing, somethin' truly unique!"
"You certainly know how to milk it", commented Greg.
"Is this another magic show?" asked Carol, looking a little dubious.
"First of all, I would like a volunteer from the audience". Bobby and Cindy put their hands up but Peter pointed to Jan. "The young lady in the glasses. Would you like to sit down here, please?" Peter had two chairs facing the audience, with a small box in between them.
"Now, if you'd like to put this special helmet on your head", he told her, "and I will place this one on mine". The 'special helmets' were kitchen colanders with coiled pipe cleaners attached to them. "What's going on here?" asked Mike. Peter seated himself on the other chair. "And now may I have another volunteer to flick the switch?"
"I'll do it", said Carol, walking over to the switch, which was placed on the coffee table. "Hey, that switch looks just like the one from our old train set", yelled Greg. "Well, just see what it can do", Marcia told him, determined to enjoy the show.
Carol flicked the switch. Immediately, Peter and Jan started jerking around in their seats with their arms and legs splayed, while weird mechanical sound effects came from Alice's cassette player. Cindy began to giggle, and then the rest of the audience relaxed and started to laugh. And laugh. Hey, they really are funny, thought Bobby. As the sound effects sped up, Jan and Peter's movements grew more and more frenetic, until there came a sound like a machine malfunctioning. Immediately, they stopped, and just sat blinking open-mouthed as Alice, still laughing, stopped the tape. Jan was the first of the two to speak.
"Members of the Brady family and Alice, you have just witnessed the first ever body transplant in the history of the entire universe. I, Peter Brady, am now in the body of Jan Brady and Jan Brady is in the body of ME!" she exclaimed.
"Hey, it'th jutht like in my Freaky Friday book!" smiled Cindy.
"I don't believe you", cried Peter, grabbing Marcia's vanity mirror from the box and gazing into it. "Oh, heavens to Betsy, it's true", he cried in an anguished tone, holding his hand up to his face. "I am in Peter's body! How gross!"
"What a ham!" Alice and the rest of the Bradys were laughing even harder – Cindy was beside herself with giggles.
"Hey Jan, look! Now I've got long blonde hair, I can pretend to be Robert Plant", yelled Jan-as-Peter, and started swishing her hair around.
"You give me back my glasses, Peter Brady, you creep", shouted Peter-as-Jan. Jan-as-Peter thumbed her nose at her brother and flipped her hair so that it covered her face. She picked up a hat from the box and put it on. "Hey, now I'm Cousin Itt", she snickered. "Honestly, you kids", said Carol.
"Well, how about this?" said Peter-as-Jan in an especially prissy voice. "Mom was going to take me to the store on Wednesday to get fitted for a new bra. Only it looks like she'll be taking you now".
"Oh no!" Jan-as-Peter parted her hair to reveal a shocked, open-mouthed face as the audience fell about laughing. "That's the end, now", she told them. Bobby and Cindy began to applaud, and the rest of the audience joined in as Peter and Jan took their bows.
"Boy, I wish I could be as funny as you two", Greg told them. "That certainly beats the magic show. How long have you been working on that for?"
"We were going to put it on for you later in the week", explained Jan, "but we thought you needed cheering up today". Mike gave a big grin, and went over to shake hands with the two entertainers. "I've gotta tell you, Peter", he said, patting him on the shoulder, "I never expected to hear you announce that you were being fitted for a bra".
"I surprise you all every day, don't I?" Peter grinned back. "I'm sorry I forgot my manners earlier on".
"I'll forgive you this time", said Mike with a wink.
"I must say, that certainly lifted us out of the doldrums", said Carol. "Now Bobby and Cindy, before we start getting ready to see the Engelsons, I want you both to take a nap".
"But Mom, we're not little kidth", Cindy protested.
"That's put us right back in the doldrums", complained Bobby.
"Listen, you know you were down here till late last night watching TV, so you have to make up for it now", Marcia told them. Well, Marcia, Marcia, Marcia, thought Bobby. I'm going to pay you back by taking your vanity mirror.
"And besides", continued his eldest sister, "I'm going to have a nap myself". Bobby grabbed his Superman comic from the coffee table and, when no-one was looking, snuck over to the box and hid the mirror inside it. "I suppose if we gotta have a nap, we'd better go now", he groused, trudging over to the stairs. "Good boy, Bobby", Carol told him.
The two youngest Bradys were still grumbling as they climbed the stairs behind Marcia. "I wish I could be someone else in this family", said Bobby. "I wish I could too", replied Cindy.
"I tell you what", said Marcia, turning round "that's the third time I've heard somebody say 'I wish' in the last five minutes. If I were superstitious, I might think that all of those wishes were going to come true".
Bobby stuck his tongue out behind Marcia's back as she and Cindy went into the girls' room. Wandering into the boys' bedroom, he took the stolen mirror from his comic and thrust it down the side of his mattress. Kicking off his shoes, he lay down on the bed. Come to think of it, he was feeling kind of sleepy after all...