"Neil! Neil!" Why was he leaving? What had he meant when he'd said that I'd made my choice and now he was making his? I was so confused, but at that moment all that mattered was his departure. When he reared his horse back to face me, I knew why. I loved him and had for a long time. The realization hit me like a bullet; swift and feeling as though the wind had been knocked out of me. I had been too naive and stubborn, blind to what was in plain sight. Our eyes locked and his held the very question I had been asking myself; why? Though I now knew the answer, I struggled to find the words to tell him. All I could seem to say was "because…because…" Shaking his head, he turned and galloped away from the mission and away from me.

"Because I love you." The words flew from my mouth before I realized I had spoken them. It was too late though, he was no longer there to here them. Hastily, I brushed away the tears that had fallen onto my cheeks. He was leaving and I would most likely never see him again. The thought left me dizzy and sick. How would I be able stand never seeing him, hearing his voice, smelling the scent of pipe tobacco and pine that was so unique to him? I turned away from the path and back towards the mission. I kept my gaze steady on the mountains that lay before me, knowing that if I glanced back now I would lose any form of composure I had left. For the remainder of the day, his words filled my mind. "You've made your choice and now I've made mine." The words rang in my head loudly, sounding so harsh and demanding, though I knew that was not how they'd been intended. What had he meant? Why must that man always speak in riddles?

Later that evening David sought me out to begin wedding preparations. In my confusion over Neil's departure and his parting words I had forgotten all about the man I had promised to marry. It was then I came to understand the full meaning of Neil's words. David had been my decision. By choosing to marry him, I had unknowingly pushed Neil away; but why? Could I even allow myself to hope that Neil felt the sameway I did? That he too loved me as much as I loved him. I shook the thought out of my head. No, that could never be. It was the hope of a young girl, and nothing more. In my mind, that's what I'd always been to Neil; a young girl. I knew I was more than 10 years his junior, and that he often told me how unrealistic and childlike I was. Neil could not love me, there was no possible way. However, the nagging doubt remained embedded within my mind; if Neil did not care, why had he left over my engagment to David?

That night I returned David's ring. The look on his face will forever be burned into my memory. He looked so crestfallen and alone as I walked away from the bunkhouse. His eyes had clouded over first with tears, and then with anger. I had reached out for him, apologizing countless times for my actions. He had refused to be comforted; refused to see that we were both better off as friends. I could only hope and pray that perhaps in time David would come to see that it was all for the best. As for Neil, only time would reveal our fate together; if we had one at all.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Three months had passed since Neil's departure and it seemed as if the searing pain in my heart was finally beginning to fade into a dull ache. The love I held for him in my heart still burned like candle, it' s flame never wavering in strength. I had just pushed it down so far inside of me that it was nearly lost; ever constant, yet distant at the same time. When Neil had left, it felt as if a part of me had gone with him. I no longer found joy in the small things, even teaching the children had lost it's charm. I hadn't realized until he was gone how much I needed him; how much I depended on him. I had thought the mountains were my source of strength, but all along it had been Neil. He had been my rock, my anchor, my source of comfort. With him gone, I seemed to be slipping down towards darkness. I was lost without him, with no way to find my way back.

For the first few weeks, I had hoped for a letter; none arrived. My only solace was his correspondence with Ms. Alice. On occasion, she would read bits of her letters from him, informing us on how his research was going, what things in the large cities were like. From what she read, he sounded happy and content with his new life. I was trying my best to be cheerful about the situation, although in reality I was fooling no one but myself. I prayed night after night that perhaps the peace he had seemed to find in the city with his new life would find me too. Like letters, no peace came. And then one night my prayers changed. I prayed that he would return and that I would get a chance to fufill the dreams that haunted me at night. Little did I know at the time, but one day soon my prayers would be answered.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was just after nine in the morning when the telephone rang; mother. She called at least once a day, sometimes twice attempting to persuade me to return home to Asheville; civilization as she called it. Everyday she called and everyday the answer was the same. No, I was not going to return to Asheville; Cutter Gap was my home now. Gritting my teeth I answered the phone in mentally having to remind myself to keep a cheerful and polite tone.

"Hello Mother."

"Hello Darling. How are things at the mission?"

"Everything's great mother."

"That's wonderful dear. I'm leaving for a social in a few minutes, so I'll make this brief. I found a teaching position for you here in Asheville. It's at a new girls prepatory school that just opened a few months ago. They would like teachers who are young and can relate to the pupils. When I heard about it, I thought that you would be perfect for you."

"I don't know mother."

"Well at least give it some thought dear, you've had your mountain adventure and now it's high time that you returned to society."

"I'll think on it."

"Thank you darling. I'll give Daddy your love."

"Alright Mother, goodbye."

"Goodbye dear."

Hanging the phone back on the receiver, I sighed. Would she ever give up? Shaking my head gently, I yelled for Ruby Mae. An action that I knew my mother would've never approved of. "Ruby Mae, if Ms. Alice or Rev. Grantland needs me tell them that I'm up at the schoolhouse."

"Yes'um Miss Christy." Satisfied that she would relay my message, I grabbed a stack of books off the side table and headed towards the parlor. I needed one more book out of a crate that had recently arrived from Asheville. I was rereading some of the classics and planning lessons for next term around them.

"Hello Miss Huddleston." The voice, he couldn't be here. I had heard nothing of his return. Looking up, I found that my mind was not playing tricks on me. I felt my heart begin to hammer in my chest. He was back! I could've turned cartwheels at that moment I was so overjoyed. Taking a step towards him, I set my books on the corner of the piano. I tried to speak, but no words seem to come. I took another step towards him, unknowingly brushing my hip against the stack of books. They fell to the ground with a dull thud.

"I swear I have been so clumsy lately" I murmured under my breath and I bent down to gather the books.

"I'm sure it is only a phase Miss Huddleston. I have never read of any cases of long term clumsiness in any medical journals." He said chuckling softly. "Aside from acute clumsiness, how have you been feeling?"

"Fine now Doctor, although I've had a cold that I can't seem to shake all summer." Moving towards me, he took my wrist in his hands and checked my pulse.

"You seem to have an abnormally fast pulse Miss Huddleston. Are you sure that you are feel well?"

"I'm fine, really.

He looked at me skeptically, before a slight grin began to emerge on his rugged face. "You look like you could use a break, take the day off and come with me. I'm heading up to Ingles Cove.

"Are you saying that I look bad, Dr. MacNeil? Besides, I can't, there's so much to do before school starts next week."

"I'm ordering you as your physician, Miss Huddleston." I couldn't suppress the grin that was teasing my lips.

"Very well. My mother did always tell me to follow the doctor's orders."

Twenty minutes later we were off; taking one wooded path after another until we arrived at our destination. We dismounted, then walked in silence for a few moments, neither of us wanting to be the first to speak.

"Well Miss Huddleston, how have things been in the cove?"

"Thankfully there have been no major medical problems, although I fear that Opal McHone is running herself ragged trying to keep up with the demand for her herbal remedies. We've missed your medical services around here doctor."

"I'm sure Opal's doing a fine job. Just my medical services?" Ignoring his words, I brushed past him; making my way slowly up to the lookout.

"We're all worried about Jeb though. He seems so lost without Fairlight. I can't imagine what he's going through."

"I doubt you can Christy." I was staring out at the horizon, but I could feel his emerald green eyes boring into my back.

"It's tragic when a woman takes over a man's soul then leaves him. Simple things like breathing suddenly become more complex. Even work doesn't help. The nights he's lain awake thinking of her, seeing her face everytime he closes his eyes, hearing her voice on every breeze. Hoping he could see her just one more time to tell her how much he he couldn't live another day without her."

"Neil" I said softly. I couldn't help but wonder if it was Jeb and Fairlight we were still speaking about.

"I know because it's how I feel about you." My breath caught in my throat at his words. He loved me! Part of me wanted to sing with joy, but part of me began to doubt his words; the doubt won out.

"I don't want to hear this."

"Christy please!" He said urgently, grabbing my hands and enclosing them within his own. Why had he come back now? Why after three long, painful months had he come back? I loved him and for so long I had yearned to hear those very words from his lips. Inside me though, a battle was raging. Every doubt I'd ever had was bubbling to the service. If he loved me as he claimed to, why had he left three months ago without mentioning a word? Shaking my head, I wiped away tears that I had not realized I had shed.

"Neil, I can't." I whispered before pulling my hands from his and walking slowly back down the trail.

"Christy, I love you! I came back here to ask you to marry me." At his words I stiffened. He wanted to marry me? Once again though, my mind was swimming with doubts. If he wanted to marry me and cared for me so deeply, why had I not received a single letter from him? Why did he want to marry me? In his eyes I had always been a young, selfish girl. What had caused this to change? I didn't know the answers to any of my questions, but I had to find out. I deserved to know. Turning to face him, I spoke one word; "why?"

"Why what?"

"Why didn't you tell me this before you left? Why didn't you write? What caused this sudden change of heart towards me? You were always criticizing me, making me feel like a stupid child at times!" My initial shock at his words had morphed into anger. I was angry at him for leaving me, for forgetting that I existed.

"Christy."

"Why?" I yelled at him. "Why?" The tears began to flow again; I was drained both mentally and emotionally. Sobs were wracking my body and it took every ounce of strength in my body not to crumple to the ground. Within seconds he was beside me, drawing me into a gentle embrace, murmuring words of comfort into my ear.

"Lass, I'm sorry. You're right you know. I should have told you how I felt before leaving, I should've written you. I'm sorry, I was a coward and was not willing to swallow my pride."

I stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring out at the gentle, sloping mountains that lay beyond his shoulder. He was sorry. He was offering me what I wanted, a life with him. He loved me, and I loved him.

"Neil?"

"Yes, lass?"

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, I want to marry you."