Emmy ED
Note: The Eds receive an Emmy for their zany cartoon antics, and of all people, the Kankers make an unwelcome appearance as well as the Hasenpfeffers. Luckily they fight more amongst themselves than the Eds but the awards continue and the Eds escape with all limbs in tact.
"Remember if you didn't win an award it's not that we don't love you. It just means you can't act."—Ellen DeGeneres, Emmy Night 2005
Chapter 1--Gargantuan Suare
It was a quiet day in the cul-de-sac at Peach Creek until all three of the Eds recieved invitations to attend this year's Emmy awards. Not one of them thought they would be worthy of attending the Emmys this year. It was only an occassion where the best of the best and finest dressers could be considered suave or hip enough to attend. Yet, they were invited.
It was incredibly exciting. They could barely contain themselves but remained civil as they rubbed elbows with celebrities and relished all of the red carpet festivities. They were impressed that there were fans that actually appreciated them and wanted their autographs. Eddy of course, was the one that wanted the limelight the most and designated himself as the most popular character of Ed, Edd and Eddy. But then Double D reminded them that each of them had a fanbase and that the show was not just about Eddy alone but all 3 of them.
The shindig continued until the actual awards were to be presented. All was well but the Eds didn't realized that the Kankers and the Hasenpfeffer sisters were involved in the suare as well. The sisters had collaborated as one unit of "loving, kissing, hugging fools" that wouldn't be stopped. No matter how much the Eds squirmed, they wouldn't escape these overzealous stalkers...or so the girls believed.
Chapter 2--I'd Like To Thank the Little People, and Plank...
Ed was really wanting to make the acceptance speech for the Emmy when the Eds were called. The first reaction was one of shock and then of clammoring to get to the stage. But, Ed had reached the platform first to accept the most coveted of all awards, the Emmy.
Tears came streaming from Ed's eyes as he began to give his speech.
"I'd like to thank the little people, and Plank of course. I never knew what you were saying cuz I wouldn't hear it anyway, but it doesn't matter. I'd also like to thank buttered toast, the start of my complete breakfast. Without it, I wouldn't have the energy to make this show the hit it is now.", Ed said, holding the Emmy close with one hand and blowing his nose with a handkerchief loudly.
"Let me hold it, Ed ! I haven't had a chance to hold it yet !", Eddy whined, his obnoxious voice amplified by the microphone.
"Gentlemen, please ! We're on national television. Stop quibbling over this golden idol ! We were all nominated, together, as friends ! That is why we have a show to begin with. Let's not forget our idenity, fellows !", Double D said, causing Eddy and Ed to stop fighting over the Emmy to finish giving their speech. Suddenly they heard the familiar laughter of their ultimate rivals...The Kankers and the even worse Hassepfeffers.
"Leipshin ! Don't forget to thank me !", Rosalind called, giving a seductive pose and a wink to Eddy.
"I hate to say this, Rosy, but you only exist in the realm of fanfiction.", Eddy responded, nervously pulling on his collar to loosen his tie slightly.
"Thank goodness for Chef-Boyardee !", Ed agreed cryptically.
"Oh, how I love a man with a way with his words !", May sighed rhapsodically.
"I hate to break it to you, sister, but Ed's mine !", Rapunzel said, looking directly into May's eyes.
"You are the one that will be broken, girl !", May retorted, balling her fists and standing in a fighting pose.
The two began tousling against one another, pulling each other's hair and growling at each other like feral beasts.
Regina wanted to stop them all from fighting but she was pulled into the fight by Marie.
"Thanks so much for the reward folks but we gotta split !", Eddy said, making his exit first.
"Wait for me, Eddy ! You're not going to leave me behind with those she demons !", Double D shrieked as he followed Eddy. Ed laughed, haphazardly following the other two. As the three left the sisters continued to fight for "ownership" of the Eds.
Chapter 3--Enter Rolf, Tamer of Wild She-Beasts
Rolf had come in wearing Barbarian attire, resembling a wannabe Conan or He-Man. Sounding his conch horn, he called for order.
"This has gone on for long enough ! Rolf commands you to be still, or he shall punish you with the Hammer of Justice !", Rolf called, proudly. Suddenly, Rolf's cousins (the Hassenpfeffer Sisters) stopped in their tracks but the Kankers were still fighting among each other.
"Rolf will warn the hideous snakes one last time, but do not make Rolf more upset than he already is !", Rolf warned, brandishing his massive hammer above his head. Not only was Rolf tall but he was quite buff and intimidating.
The Kanker sisters wouldn't be a match for his hammer, so they quit fighting. Rolf kindly escorted his disruptive cousins and the Kankers out of the Academy Hall and locked the door behind him so they couldn't make a re-entry. He wondered how they ever entered to begin with. Sighing, but relieved the "noise" of the night had disapated, he returned to his seat and watched the rest of the awards with a glad grin on his stalwart face.
Chapter 4--Who Keeps the Emmy ?
Soon after the excitement of Emmy night was through, the Eds paid Rolf back for his help by wrestling and catching a big hog for him and his Nana to feast upon later. To him that was far more than enough payment for saving their behinds once again. Once Rolf had left, there was a pregnant pause. Then, while Ed was distracted by a magnificent monarch butterfly, Eddy snatched the trophy from him.
"Wait just one minute, mister ! I get to hold on to the naked gold man for a while !", Ed said, beginning to cry a little.
"No, it's mine you hear ! Mine ! You had your chance to hold it, now it's my turn !", Eddy said, caressing the Emmy lovingly. It was almost sickening to see Eddy treat the ridiculous statue as some sort of idol.
"Gentlemen please ! There is no need to squabble over something so petty !", Double D said, standing between the two, stopping their brawling.
"And how do you propose that, Einstein ?", Eddy retorted, sarcastically, pouting immaturely.
"Here's the plan. One of us will take care of the Emmy one day a week. Since Eddy wants to 'hold' it first, he gets to take care of it on Mondays. I will get it on Tuesdays. Ed, Wednesday is your day. Then, Eddy again on Thursday, Friday for me and Saturday for Ed. Sunday is the sabbath so it remains under the watchful eye of Johnny.", Double D said, sagely.
"Johnny 2X4 on Sundays ? Uhhh, why ?", Ed questioned, not really comprehending Double D's logic.
"He's the only one I can trust the Emmy to that will actually watch it and not hoarde it like some people I know.", Double D replied.
"Touche.", Eddy said, slightly wounded. But, he recovered from Double D's observation. So, from that moment on, the friends shared their first Emmy and hoped that in the years to come that they would recieve more. They prayed they wouldn't have to deal with Rolf's cousins or the Kankers if they were invited to a fancy-schmancy shindig like that. Even if they didn't, they would always have this Emmy to remember for years to come.
Epilogue
In the end, the Eds had finished another uncommon day by camping in Eddy's backyard. They laughed about recent movies and TV shows they had seen and were talking about upcoming events they were looking forward to. There would be a parade in Peach Creek honoring the Eds' Emmy nomination. It would be another moment they would always be remembering no matter how old they became. It was nice just to recieve recognition and the coming parade would be an incredible event. It was their friendship that had brought them these turns of good fortune. One day they all thought of going pro perhaps, but if they never became professional actors, they would always have their positions of comedian, doctor and car salesman. No matter where they were, they would be forever true blue friends and nothing could change that...not even Eddy's sometimes annoying, obnoxious loudmouthed ways.
The End
September 28, 2005