A/N: 2010 UPDATE: I really don't like this fic anymore (the purple prose!) but considering I wrote it when I was 17 and it isn't that bad. I'll just keep it up since others seem to enjoy it, and I suppose later on it'll be interesting to see where I started and where I eventually end up.
Disclaimer: This was inspired by the song On the Coldest Winter Night by Kamelot, but its also inspired by the album Epica itself. I do take lines from some of the songs, but no copyright infringement is intended. I don't own Tales of Symphonia or the songs by Kamelot.
On the Coldest Winter Night
The cold wind gusted across the city of Flanoir, wisps of snow picking up in the wind as it blew. The sky was darkening, and the windows of the many rows of houses lit up in preparation of the onslaught of the night. No one would dare trespass out of doors on a night such as this. The cold was practically unbearable once the sun disappeared, this certain time of year being colder then most.
But there was someone outside on such a night. A lone figure, a man garbed in clothing far from suitable to the weather. But this man was different from most, the cold did not bother him as it would any normal human. Kratos was far from normal. His life had been cast to a state of still for many millennia. Extreme weather had never bothered him. Even on this coldest winter night.
This atmosphere, it was so like his inner self. Cold and desolate with no possibility for warmth. Although the cause of Flanoir's eternal chill was entirely different. The town was due to its close proximity to Celsius. For Kratos it was because the only person that had ever allowed him any happiness was gone. Dead. He would never meet that woman that had stolen his heart so again. And this reminder constant on his mind fed his despair.
Anna…why Kratos had allowed her to his heart he did not know. Perhaps it was the disgust of Cruxis and how Anna was so different from that dreaded organization. Where Cruxis was emotionless and lifeless, Anna was led by her emotions and so full of life. But he never regretted the decision to love her and care for her as he had for no other person. She was his shining light, his beacon of hope. The one that had led him to the realization that what he had done with his life was wrong and encouraged him to act. And just as quickly as she had come into his life, she was gone.
It was all his fault.
Kratos had been the one to thrust his sword in her chest. He had been the one that had those people chasing them. He had been the one responsible for the creation of the organization that had tortured and mutilated her so. Him. It was his sins alone that caused her death. It was because she was involved with him. If she hadn't…if only he refused his temptation, his love, she would be alive today.
But she wasn't.
She was never coming back.
The wind whipped and tossed his dank purple armour and tendrils of auburn hair. It was merciless and unrelenting, picking up more snow in its wake and allowing it to shift the snow drifts below. Kratos did not notice. He never noticed these mundane matters anymore.
"Kratos."
This brought him out of his reverie with a jolt. That voice, no it could not be. He turned to look at the figure. The dishevelled figure became more disconcerted at the wind's constant thrashings. That familiar countenance. It could not be.
"Anna," he whispered, shock registering in his every feature. There, standing in the snow was his lost beloved. The one long assumed dead.
"Kratos," Anna smiled, relief registering in her every feature. She had not changed much, she had the same chestnut hair and eyes. "I finally found you. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find you."
"Found me…how? You…you're dead." He uttered the words with such disbelief. He had seen her grave. He had heard the account from the dwarf, the dwarf had seen her die. That same dwarf had buried her and decided to raise their son. Suspicion rose in him and he crossed his arms. Every scenario he played in his mind, this position was impossible. Anna should by every right be dead. Unless this was not Anna. Perhaps it was a delusion, or perhaps Mithos had replicated a similar woman to torment him. He narrowed his eyes, bringing up his mental walls of ice and stone that he had been so accustomed to hide behind. "You cannot be Anna."
"Kratos, what are you thinking?" the pseudo-Anna seemed shocked at his sudden appeal to suspicion. She seemed to pick up on the subtle changes in facial expression and voice, reading him. "I am me, Anna. Why would you doubt me?"
At his refusal of a response, Anna sighed and cast her gaze downwards. "Have things really gotten so bad? This is like when we first met all over again. You were so reclusive then too. You seemed so cold, I remember hating you for that. I thought that you really had no emotions. But it was just a guard, right? Just protecting yourself from anything that could hurt you again. It was because of that Yggdrassill then." She spat the name of the Cruxis leader with contempt. "And his vision of creating that Age of Lifeless Beings. That was the final betrayal after a string of lies. Or so you said, anyways."
Kratos' eyes widened in shock. How could this woman possibly know all this? He had only confided these thoughts to one person. Anna.
"But now I bet you let your emotions get buried because of me." Her throat constricted, as if this idea caused her some sort of pain. "Because you thought I died and you thought it was your fault."
Kratos was, for the first time in fifteen years, speechless. This woman knew so much of him. It was as if she could read his every gesture, his every word. How could this not be the woman whom he loved so long ago? But it was impossible. He could not allow himself to fall victim to a trick, a trap, no matter how slim the chances. There was no way that the real Anna could make it out of that dreaded situation alive so many years ago. There was only one possibility. This woman was an impostor.
"You are not Anna," he laced every word with ice, glaring into her emotive brown eyes. This was not Anna, it was someone pretending to be his beloved. She did not deserve his sympathy.
Again Anna sighed and cast her gaze downwards. "You really have changed, haven't you? I guess I shouldn't have come here expecting you to throw yourself in my arms." She laughed nervously to herself. "Well, if you need proof that I'm Anna, then I guess I'll have to give you some."
Kratos arched an eyebrow, curious as to what this impostor attempted to show him in order to trick him into believing her. She opened her hand to reveal what was placed in there. When he caught a glimmer of silver brought on by the light of the moon, he froze.
There, nestled in Anna's, yes, this had to be Anna's, gloved hand was a silver locket. It was a duplicate of the same locket he had given Lloyd some time ago. Kratos stepped towards her, bridging the gap that stood between the two previously, and took the locket, still attached to Anna's neck, into his hands, not noticing that his hands were holding Anna's.
He more closely examined the trinket that held so joyous many memories to him. Anna had wanted a memento of their marriage since Kratos had been so against the idea of an engagement ring. He felt that it had held too much tradition and he had grown to despise traditions. It was far too belated, their son was alive then, but he had finally bought something that she would enjoy. It was the locket and he had two created one for each to carry with them. Anna had told him that she would never take it off. Evidently, she never had.
The locket was the exact same as the one that had belonged to him. The intricate carvings of hearts and scenery. It even had both of their initials in engraved in tiny writing at the bottom of the back of it. He pressed the button and opened it delicately only to find that same picture of the three of them: Anna, Kratos and baby Lloyd frozen in a moment of happiness. As closely as he inspected it, it was identical.
And there, every doubt that had clouded Kratos' mind disappeared. His mental walls of ice and stone crumbled, and suspicion and anger was replaced by joy.
"Remember that time long ago, when we bought this?"
Kratos nodded absently, at a loss for words. What could he say to Anna? There were so many things that he had wanted to tell her but now that she was actually here, words escaped him.
"Maybe now I want you to prove who you really are. After all, how do I know you're Kratos? You could be a spy." Anna asked teasingly and Kratos whipped his eyes to hers in a panic. But when he saw a smile play on her lips, he relaxed. Anna never was the one to take things seriously, even in this very serious moment. That part of her did not change, even after fifteen years. Kratos returned her smile, grateful. "You believe me now, right?"
"Of course, Anna." Kratos replied and a jolt of surprise took him as he finally realized just how close they were to each other. Their hands were even connected now, the locket entwined with them. It had been so long since he had been able to be so close to her. He could feel her warmth near him. Anna was alive. How he'd longed for this moment, and dreamed of it. He wanted her close. Kratos allowed him to drop her hands and wrap his arms about her, just how; he did not know or care at that moment. He needed her close. He felt warmth erupt in himself as he felt her arms respond and wrap themselves in a loving way about him. This was what he had wanted for so long.
It was like a dream.
Kratos buried his head on her neck, feeling himself tremble. He no longer cared how Anna had come to find him or how she survived all these years. All that mattered was that she was with him now. And he never wanted her to leave again.
Kratos heard the muffled sobs of Anna her emotions coming to the surface, she must have been waiting too, and he felt tears sting his eyes as well. His emotional barriers that he had so carefully constructed were coming crashing down. He tightened his hold and brought a hand to stroke her hair.
"Hush, my dear." Kratos soothed, more to himself then to her, knowing that it would not help Anna's tears to stop. Maybe he did not want them to stop. She loved him, even through all these years and she never stopped loving him. This was proof of that.
Suddenly, something came gnawing at the back of Kratos' mind. He could not shake the feeling that he did not deserve this bliss. He had wronged Anna so much and he could not allow himself to deceive her so. Perhaps she loathed him for his actions, that he had ripped their son away from them, that he had caused her harm and almost caused her death. What if she wanted nothing more then to leave?
"Anna…please, do not hate me." He uttered the words before he could stop himself, wishing that he could take them back.
"How could I ever hate you?" Anna replied through her sobs, confusion evident at the question.
"I killed you. I cannot bear to forgive myself for my actions and I do not expect you to. But please, please do not hate me."
To his surprise, he felt laughter reverberate on his chest. "I could never hate you, Kratos. That wasn't your fault, what happened with Kvar." Kratos could not believe what he was hearing her say. "You shouldn't be blaming yourself for anything that happened then. I asked you to kill me because I was a monster then and I couldn't just live like that for the rest of my life." Kratos could hear the emotion in her voice and he felt his chest constrict that he had to bring up such a topic that so obviously caused her pain. "You don't need to be forgiven for something that wasn't wrong in the first place, Kratos. I love you." He felt as if this were a dream. With but a few words Anna had refuted all of the ideas that had tormented his mind for what seemed like an eternity. "I am so lucky to have married a man that would have done such a terrible thing for me."
This was bliss. Anna was with him again. For so long Kratos had wanted her to come, to somehow be alive and well. And she had found him on the coldest winter night.
Kratos lifted his head from Anna's neck. His gaze was on the top of Anna's head that rested on his chest. Her head lifted in confusion, but caught his gaze quickly. He saw a familiar look come into Anna's eyes and took no time in complying with her wishes. He leaned down and captured her lips in a long, passionate kiss.