Disclaimer: I don't own anything and I'm not making a profit on any of this.
My True Destiny
As I pushed open the door to my AP Bio classroom, I froze, my eyes straying to the lone figure of Max Evans already sitting at our desk near the back of the room. I swallowed hard. Since my return from Florida, I have tried again and again to persuade my heart to let him go.
No such luck.
Silently, I stood there transfixed, watching him absently leaf through the pages of his textbook, not really focusing on the context of its words. Sighing, he shut the book, propped his elbow on the desk, tilted his head to the side, rested his cheek on his open palm, and stared at the front of the room, unseeingly. His hazel-brown eyes darkened, as if re-living a painful memory all over again.
He must have heard me come in, although I hadn't made a sound, because his head suddenly snapped up and his eyes flew in my direction.
Our gazes met.
I swallowed and closed my eyes, unable to move.
While staying with my aunt in Florida for the summer, I had hoped he had had more luck moving on than me, but he hadn't. Shortly after I came back, he spotted me on the streets, but our conversation had been cut short, because of my interview with Congresswoman Whitaker.
It didn't matter that he belonged with Tess; he still fought to stay with me, but we couldn't be together anymore.
That's why I left.
To find a way to relieve the pain, which plagued my heart ever since I walked away from him that day in the desert three months ago. I had prayed the time apart would allow both of us the needed space to move on with our lives. However, as I reopened my eyes, I knew the effort had been wasted.
Neither of us wanted to let go.
Although he spent his entire life pining away for me, he never asked me out. Even back in third grade, from the moment I met Max, I felt an undeniable attraction towards him. As the years passed and he developed into a handsome, muscular young man, I knew there was no chance he'd ever notice a plain, unpopular, straight-A student like me. At least not with all the high school cheerleaders and popular girls drooling over him.
Maria Deluca, one of my best friends, disagreed with me. She constantly informed me whenever she caught Max staring at me. But every time I looked over at him, he always turned away. I shook my head, repeatedly telling Maria that it was all in her imagination.
Max Evans and me?
No, un-uh.
It wasn't possible.
Then he saved my life.
The day started out normal, but it quickly accelerated when a heated argument between two customers turned deadly and one of them pulled out a gun. While they fought for control over the weapon, I watched paralyzed from behind the counter, unable to tear my eyes away. The gun misfired, hitting me squarely in the stomach. Max, who was in the Crash Down with his friend, Michael, abandoned all caution, rushed to my side, and healed me. At the time I didn't understand what he had done to me; nor why he smashed a ketchup container on the counter, dumped its continents over my torn uniform, and softly beseeched me to lie and say I had broken the bottle when I fell.
That's what I told Sheriff Valenti, but two other customers, tourists, raised his suspicions that Max had done something to me while he was beside me. Later that night, I discovered a silver handprint on my stomach, exactly where Max had touched me.
The next day in Biology, Max arrived late for class. However, when our teacher told the left side of the room, where he and I sat, to take a sample from our cheek and examine it, he immediately asked for a bathroom pass. I glanced sharply at him, but he refused to meet my gaze. While he was gone, I took the pencil, which had been in his mouth, and scrapped some of his cheek cells from it.
They weren't normal.
After class, I dragged him into the music room and confronted him. His face paled and he confirmed my suspicion that I hadn't gotten the wrong cells. Struggling to remain calm, I asked him where he was from and he spilled his secret to me. He was an alien. I freaked out and avoided him for the rest of the day.
That night, he visited the Crash Down and connected with me, allowing me to see that he was still the same person. During the connection, I got an inside look at his childhood and felt everything he experienced. I felt his loneliness. For the first time, I really saw Max Evans. I saw me as he saw me and the amazing thing was, in his eyes I was beautiful. After a few minutes, he broke the connection between us. When he asked if it had worked, I nodded wordlessly, shaken by what I had seen.
Maria had been right.
Max was in love with me.
Apparently, he has loved me ever since he got off the school bus and saw me for the first time in third grade. After discovering his feelings for me, my whole life changed. As I spent more time getting to know him, emotions I couldn't explain began blossoming in my heart.
Sometime later, my boring, small town girl role for the last sixteen years intensified when I learned Max's sister, Isabel, and their best friend, Michael, were also aliens. However, I couldn't tell anyone—their lives depended on it. However, keeping Max's identity hidden, caused a strain in my friendship with Maria. When I refused to tell her anything, she threatened to go tell Sheriff Valenti everything.
I had no choice, but to tell her everything.
Now the five of us had to work together to throw the sheriff off our trail as he came closer and closer to discovering what Max, Isabel, and Michael really were.
We finally succeeded.
That night, Max told me it wasn't safe for us to be together, even though I said I didn't care. However, Max, fearful of hurting me or placing me in unknown danger, was determined to be just friends. Grudgingly, I agreed.
Several months later, unable to deny the growing attraction between us, especially after we kissed for the first time, things changed between Max and I. I don't think I've ever been as happy as I was during those few days we shared together. I never wanted it to end. Then Michael almost died, which made me afraid something could happen to Max and I wouldn't know how to help him. Unexpectedly, Max ended our relationship, claiming we needed to take a step back, because I pulled him off balance, but the truth was he was scared.
Scared of what could happen.
Neither of us ever got very far in our later relationships as we both spent our time pining away for each other. Every time another guy spoke to me, pain shot through my heart when I caught sight of the dejected figure of Max, leaning against the wall, watching us. Although he made the decision to step back, he couldn't stay away from me and we ended up drifting back together.
Then Tess arrived.
Shaking myself out of my reverie and trying not to think about the painful events that occurred after her arrival, I took a step into the classroom. Hesitantly, I began making my way towards Max, clutching my books to my chest. As I approached, his eyes flickered with an internal battle, debating whether he should try to talk to me or leave me alone.
When he started moving towards me, I stiffened, sucking in my breath. Sensing my discomfort, he paused half way out of his seat and stared at me, bewildered. I lowered my gaze to the floor, but continued walking towards him.
All around me I heard the voices of several classmates calling out and greeting each other as they took their seats. I felt a sharp twinge of pain as I caught bit and pieces of their conversations, envious of the happiness surrounding them. Awkwardly, I skirted around my desk, prolonging any contact with Max. I knew I was stalling, but I couldn't bear to be so close to him without touching him.
As I sat down, I tucked my book bag underneath my chair, pulled out my notebook, and began randomly flipping through the pages, careful not to look at Max, like I knew I wanted to.
Trying to get my attention, he shifted his hand towards mine, his fingertips just touching mine.
My breath caught in my throat.
I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye, trying to gauge his reaction to the awkwardness between us. I quickly dropped my eyes, afraid of losing myself in his eyes. He kept staring at me. My face flushed under the heat of his gaze. Finally unable to stand it, I glanced up at him.
I instantly regretted it.
For a brief moment, he stared down at me, specks of worry mixed in with fear, pain, anguish, and despair shone in his eyes. I swallowed. I opened my mouth, but my throat had gone dry. I had done this to him. I was the cause for his suffering. If I hadn't walked away from him...my eyes stung. Don't do this to me, Max, I silently begged as I sat spellbound by his eyes.
He leaned towards me. "Don't shut me out, Liz...please..." he whispered.
Mesmerized, I remained rooted to my chair.
His face loomed closer, his lips inches away from mine.
My eyes flickered back and forth, but I couldn't move.
His arm brushed against mine.
Uneasily, I jumped back, startled awake by the shock of his skin against mine. My elbow knocked my notebook off the table. Hurriedly I broke eye contact with him, bent down to retrieve it, and then gazed at him from under my eyelashes, while taking in his appearance for the first time. The dark circles under his eyes contrasted starkly with the paleness of his skin, giving me the impression he hadn't slept much in the past few days.
I could relate.
During my vacation, I hardly got any rest. The image of his mother and her words, I have sent with you your young bride, and images of Max and Tess together, haunted my dreams.
As our teacher, Ms. Hardy, finally entered the room, a strip of my hair fell across my notebook. Out of habit, Max reached over to tuck it behind my ear, but I jerked away. His lips thinned and his shoulders sagged as he slumped in his seat. My throat tightened at his hurt expression, but he needed to be with Tess, not me.
Trying to distract myself, I forced myself to pay attention to Ms. Hardy's instructions, while assembling the equipment we would need for our science experiment. Accidentally I reached for the same beaker as Max and our hands brushed. Feeling an electrical sensation crawling up my arm, my eyes flew up to meet his. He stared back at me sadly. Uncomfortably, I turned away and tried to concentrate.
At the sound of the bell, a surge of happiness coursed through my veins. Quickly I gathered up my books and hurried out the door. Before I managed to get out the door, I heard a chair being pushed back and Max's pursuing footsteps pounding after me. Hurriedly I sprinted down the hall, desperately searching for a way to escape him.
All around me students filed out of their classrooms, their voices bouncing off the walls, oblivious to my panic. As I pushed my way through the sea of people, I heard Max's breathless voice shouting my name as he tried to catch up.
My muscles tensed and I fled towards my locker.
Hopefully the mass of tall people would hide my small form from his eyes.
Grasping the lock, sweat trickled down the back of my neck as I fumbled with my combination.
It didn't work.
Casting a quick glancing over my shoulder in Max's direction, I reentered it.
Nothing happened.
I gave a sigh of frustration, pressed my lips together, and smacked my fist against the door.
It still didn't open.
Biting my lower lip, I glanced over my shoulder again, but Max was gone.
Maybe I lost him, I thought to myself relieved.
However, knowing Max, he'll probably show up at the Crash Down after school and demand an explanation as to why I ditched him.
Unexpectedly, as I turned to leave, his arm shot out of nowhere, blocking my way. Instantly I realized he'd been standing behind me the whole time. I swallowed as he pressed his hand against my locker and opened it with his power. Promptly I looked around, fearful someone might have witnessed him using his alien abilities, but no one noticed.
My pulse sped up at the sight of him standing there. Our gazes locked. Stepping closer, he positioned both of his hands on either side of my head, successfully cornering me between his arms. I pressed my back against my locker, chewing on my lip.
"Liz..." he moaned softly, his eyes black with desolation.
I shut my eyes, feeling the warmth of his breath against my lips.
Tears pooled behind my eyes.
"Max, please...don't," I whimpered, wincing as the salt from my tears stung my eyes. Please, my mind screamed, just go away and leave me alone.
Max shook his head, refusing to leave. Slowly he brought his hand up to touch my face. I flinched and tried to lean away, but I couldn't. He raised his fingers to my hair, rubbing the strands together between his index finger and thumb. Desperately I shifted my body, struggling to resist his touch.
"Liz...I..."
With tears brimming in his eyes, he stared down at me, reinforcing the pain growing within my heart. I felt myself dying and wanted to throw my arms around his neck. I wanted to erase everything that had occurred during the last few months. I wanted to forget about his destiny with Tess. I wanted us to go back to the way we were.
But I couldn't.
This was the way it had to be.
"Max..." I rasped, my voice hoarse, "go."
"No."
"Max..." my voice rose slightly.
He didn't move. Instead his hands dropped to my waist, resting comfortably on my hips. I stifled a gasped. It felt so right. This was where I wanted to stay, forever. I closed my eyes, helpless to his persistence. As Max's arms tightened around my waist, his mother's words echoed in my mind battling my urge to stay in his arms.
His destiny won.
He belonged to someone else.
I couldn't give in.
"GO!" I suddenly shrieked, breaking free of his grasp. Several nearby students stopped what they were doing and glanced towards us. I ignore them and swiped my sleeve across my face, mopping up my unwanted tears.
Stricken by my outburst, Max backed away, worry reflected in his eyes. My knees gave out. I collapsed against my locker and sank to the ground, covering my face with my hands; my tears ran though my fingers and dripped on the ground. Although I knew I was doing the right thing, why did it have to hurt so much?
"Liz...please look at me," Max pleaded, his voice sounded so far away, as he slid down onto the floor, scooted closer, and reached out to wrap his arms around my shoulders.
I stiffened.
Unable to fight the pain anymore, I scurried to my feet and bolted towards the door. I could hear him chasing me and pumped my muscles harder. They screamed in protest, while my throat burned with my shallow breathing.
The watery, distorted forms of Alex Whitman, my other best friend, and Maria DeLuca streaked by as I fled blindly towards the sanctuary of my car. I heard them calling me, but I ignored them. I had to get away from Max.
I jumped into my car, slammed the door shut, jammed the key into the ignition, and screeched out of the parking lot.
As I pulled away, I glanced up in my review mirror, saw him staring after me, and heard him shouting my name over and over. Unwillingly, I blocked out his voice and drove towards the Crash Down, praying he would leave me alone.
That night while preparing for bed, the hurt expression on Max's face kept replaying through my mind, slowly torturing me. But I couldn't open up and let him get close to me again. The fate of his entire planet depended on him accepting his destiny with Tess. Why couldn't he understand that? Why couldn't he just set me free?
Forcing myself not to cry, I crawled into my bed, rolled over on my side to switch off the lamp near my bedside, snuggled under my covers, and closed my eyes. As weariness seeped through my body, my thoughts one by one quieted and soon I fell asleep.
My heart sank and I turned away from him unable to hide my shock. Swallowing the lump growing in my throat, I shook my head. No, it couldn't be. Nasedo couldn't have been telling the truth. He didn't understand the special bond that Max had created between us the day I got shot. No one could come between us, no one. However, as my fists lay clenched in my lap, I knew Nasedo had been right. My throat tightened as I glanced towards Max.
"So everything that Nasedo told me was true," I whispered, choking on the words as I felt a stinging sensation behind my eyes. "You and Tess were meant to be together."
A few wet strands of dark hair clung to his forehead as he gazed at me. "Liz..." Max rasped, his voice hoarse.
Ignoring the silent plea in his voice, I stood up, ran my hands through my hair, and walked to the other side of the overturned tuck, where he and I had taken shelter in an attempt to hide from Agent Pierce and the FBI. As I turned back towards Max, I threw my hands up in a helpless gesture. "I mean, it's your destiny, right?"
Breathing heavily and still suffering from the recent torture, which had been inflicted upon him while Agent Pierce tried to uncover the secret of his origins, Max stared at me through tormented eyes. "I wish I could I go back, Liz. Back to when things were normal."
I bit my lip as a few tears spilled over and slid unnoticed down my cheeks. Normal. Back to before he saved my life after the shooting, before I found out the truth about him, Michael, and Isabel, before we became friends, and before we fell in love, only to be torn apart. If only he hadn't saved my life, maybe then he and the others would have been safe. Saving my life had caused nothing, but trouble.
"Me too," I sobbed, blinking rapidly. "I just wish that I could've...stopped you from saving my life that day in the Crash Down."
His breathing stilled and his eyes clouded with hurt. "Don't say that," he croaked, a note of urgency in his voice.
"Max, the day that you saved my life...your life just...e-ended," I cried out, uncontrollable sobs tearing from my throat, silencing my voice.
As I returned to my seat beside him, my eyes searched his, desperately hoping to make him understand. Everything would have been better, for everyone, if he hadn't healed me.
Michael had been right.
Near the beginning of the school year, he told me when Maria and I caught them trying to sneak out of town,
"We're not together; our lives are at stake here, not yours."
At the time, Sheriff Valenti, when they believed he was hunting them, had come close to uncovering the truth about them. Now I understand what Michael meant. Their lives were in jeopardy, not mine, not Maria's, theirs. To save my life, Max had broken the sacred pack between the three aliens never to reveal the truth about themselves to anyone. Saving my life started all the trouble that has been plaguing them. It would have been better, for all of us, if he hadn't broken that promise.
Slowly Max shook his head and leaned towards me, drawing me out of my thoughts. "No that's the day my life began," he corrected. I stared up at him through red-rimmed, glazed eyes. How could he say that? "Liz, when I was in that room, and they...did...what they did to me...you're what kept me alive." My breath hitched in my throat at his words. "The thought of you," he continued, lifting his hand to my face and brushing his fingertips across my skin. "The way your eyes look into mine, your smile, the touch of your skin, your lips." Unable to help it, I turned my face slightly and pressed my lips against his open palm. "Knowing you has made me...human. Whether I die tomorrow or fifty years from now, my destiny is the same: it's you. I wanna be with you, Liz. I-I love you."
My eyes misted over at his confession. "I love you," I whispered.
Using the palm that rested against my cheek, he curled his fingers around my neck and drew my lips towards his. Involuntarily my eyes slipped closed as I wrapped my arms around his neck.
When I opened my eyes again, I found myself no longer in the truck with Max, but standing off to the side inside the cave, where the pods, that had protected the four aliens from human eyes for several years, were hidden. Tess, Max, Isabel, and Michael stood in the center of the domed room, staring at a bright, blue hologram figure of a woman before them.
Max and Isabel's biological mother.
"My son, you were the beloved leader of our people. I have sent with you your young bride," the hologram of their mother gestured towards Tess, who smiling smugly, stepped closer to Max.
I gasped while my heart pounding crazily against my chest. My head throbbed while a wave of nausea engulfed me. Tess was Max's destiny. Instantly Nasedo's words flashed unexpectedly through my mind. Tess and Max were made to be together.
"My daughter," Max and Isabel's mother continued as she turned towards Isabel and pointed at Michael, "the man you were betrothed to and your brother's second-in-command."
Without realizing how much pain her words were causing me, their mother proceeded to reveal the aliens' past lives, why they were created, and their destiny. The destiny I couldn't be apart of.
As a stab of jealousy tore through my heart, my eyes strayed to where Max and Tess's hands almost touched. Quickly I averted my gaze and squeezed my eyes shut. Why was this happening? If Max was destined to be with someone else, how could he and I become so close? I had fallen in love with him and now I'm supposed to give him up just like that? Pressing my lips together, I glanced back towards the four aliens staring into space, shock evident on their faces at what they had just heard.
"I always knew there was something out there, but I didn't know how important it was," Michael commented softly to himself.
"Things will never be the same, but whatever happens, we have to stay together," Max instructed as he glanced at Michael, Isabel, and Tess in turn. "It's the four of us now."
"I knew this was meant to be," Tess purred as her arms snaked around Max's neck and reeled him towards her, tilting her lips up to meet his. Placing his hands on her arms, Max lowered his head.
I didn't belong here.
Hastily, I glanced the opposite way, unable to bear the sight of them kissing. Reluctantly I retreated towards the exit, my eyes burning with unshed tears, feeling more alienated among Max, Isabel, and Michael than I'd ever felt before. With every step that took me further and further away from Max, I knew there could never be anything between us now. His destiny rested with someone else now.
I could no longer be apart of his life.
Just as I reached the exit, Max exclaimed,
"No!"
I jumped at the sharpness in his voice. Before I could go any further, his fingers closed around my arm. Hesitantly, I glanced over my shoulder back at him and a lump formed in my throat at the expression of distress in his eyes.
"Look, everything I told you before is still true."
Quickly I squelched the happiness, which flooded my heart at his words. He had a destiny. "Max," I replied, struggling to keep my voice steady, "you do have a destiny. You just...heard it. I can't...stand in the way of it."
Shifting my gaze, I looked over his shoulder and saw Michael and Isabel watching us, pained expressions flickering across their faces. Both knew and understood how hard it was for me to walk away from Max. As I glanced towards Tess, she narrowed her eyes at me; envious that I had stolen the heart of the man she married in another life. Didn't she understand how much it hurt me to push Max away, so he could fulfill his destiny with her? Or did she only care about herself and her future?
Pain flared up in Max's devastated eyes and his grip tightened on my arm. "But you mean everything to me."
Unable to stop myself, I reached up, stroked his cheek, and trailed my fingers across his face, memorizing it. His eyes, following my every movement, desperately begged me not to turn away from him. Although I couldn't deny him anything, I couldn't, wouldn't allow him to give up his destiny, just to be with me. His planet's needs outweighed my own selfish desires and wants.
Uncertainly, I pressed my lips against his. His hands fell limply to his sides as he responded, but neither of us felt the spark of passion we always generated. Slowly, I pulled my lips away from his and met his sorrowful eyes, as I placed a hand on his chest and pushed him away. I knew if I didn't leave now, I would never be able to.
"Good-bye Max," I whispered, then physically tore myself away from him, and hurled myself out of the cave, out of Max's life.
"Liz!" he shouted and took off after me.
My stomach twisted and I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my skin, feeling the sun's rays beating down upon me. The sand crunched under my feet as I cautiously made my way down the mountain slope, ignoring Max's approaching footsteps. Why was he doing this to me, I screamed to myself, my eyes wet with tears. He had a destiny...with Tess. He and I...we couldn't be together. Instantly the words he had spoken to me during the winter heat wave, when he explained to me why we couldn't be together, flashed through my mind.
"Liz, I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. And somewhere down the line, we're gonna get hurt."
He had been right.
We had gotten hurt.
We weren't meant to be together.
He and Tess were.
If only I had listened.
"Liz!" he called from behind me. Refusing to answer, I continued walking, trying to ignore the brokenness and desperation seeping through his voice. "Liz, wait."
Unwillingly my feet stopped and I reluctantly turned my gaze back towards him, my eyes urging him to stop. He had to let me go. While holding my gaze, he shook his head, his eyes begging, pleading, praying I wouldn't leave. I couldn't do this anymore. Painfully I wrenched myself away, raced out into the desert with tears streaming down my cheeks, and didn't look back.
My eyes snapped open and I sat up with a start, beads of sweat dripping from my forehead. I shot a quick glance at the clock beside my bed and groaned. The red numbers, glowing in the darkness, told me it was 2:30 A.M. I sighed, pressing a hand to my forehead as I leaned back against my pillows, breathing heavily. The dream, which had haunted me ever since I deserted Max, repeatedly flashed through my mind, searing the images into my memory. Slowly the adrenaline pumping through my veins lessened and my heartbeat slowed to its normal pace.
How could fate throw us together only to cruelly tear us apart like that, I wondered as I gave an involuntary sob while my heart bled from unspeakable torture.
Unable to go back to sleep, I pushed back my covers, pulled on my robe, made my way over to my desk, and reached for my journal. As I did, my eyes fell on a picture of Max with his arms around my waist. A small smile graced my lips as I picked it up and gazed at it, longingly.
While tracing his face with my fingers, I closed my eyes and could almost hear the soft melody that had played in the restaurant that night. During one of our dates, he had surprised me by taking me back to the Chinese Diner where he took me for our first date. After a game of pool, he held his hand out towards me, asking me to dance. I slid my fingers into his, accepting his invitation. As he pulled me up onto the dance floor, I couldn't prevent the pearls of laughter bubbling out of my mouth as he twirled me under his arm. Drawing me closer, his arms tightened around my waist while I wrapped mine around his neck as we swayed to the music. I closed my eyes and laid my head on his chest while his arms tightened around my waist, promising never to let me go.
A droplet of water fell on the picture.
Instantly reality painfully woke me up from my memory. As I squeezed my eyes shut, the picture slipped out of my grasp and lay forgotten on the floor. Those days were over. My throat grew dry as I backed walked away, rejected just like the picture, and retrieved my journal.
Crawling out onto the terrace outside my window, I dropped my diary on my chair, lit some candles, folded my arms, and leaned over the wall, which surrounded my balcony. Longingly I gazed at the couples strolling below. That could have been Max and I too, if his destiny hadn't gotten in the way.
From somewhere nearby the faint melody of a new song beginning to play on the radio drifted through the night. I closed my eyes, straining to hear the words.
Come to me now
And lay your hands over me
My lips curved up into a smile at the familiar tune. I Shall Believe by Sheryl Chow. Wandering back in time, I remembered the time Max and I had cut school because he wanted to show me something. We drove out to the old, abandoned highway, which I didn't know existed. As I sat there, admiring my surroundings, he explained he wanted to do something normal for a change since things had been getting insane. I had agreed. Then while sitting in a comfortable silence, this song came on the radio.
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be all right
And I Shall Believe
"Oh my god, I love this song," I had gushed as I leaned down, turning up the volume.
Max had glanced towards me, a grin forming on his face as he declared, "Me too."
I'm broken in two
And I know you're on to me
I swallowed and shook my head, trying to push back the lump rising in my throat. A few tears began making their way down my cheeks. Pushing myself off the wall, I sat down and opened my journal, hoping to release my grief by writing it down.
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone
But I do believe
It suddenly occurred to me as I sat there with my pen poised, while so many emotions coursed through my mind, that everyone had someone to love and hold onto; yet here I was, alone. No one cared about what happened to me. Unconsciously more and more tears rolled down my cheeks, splashing on my journal's empty pages.
Just like me.
Empty.
Without Max, I had nothing left.
That not every time is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
Unable to stop, I wrapped my arms around my stomach, rocking back and forth. My vision blurred as I repeatedly heard Max's mother's words over and over in my mind. Desperately I struggled to block out the images of Max and Tess together, but they still came, taunting me.
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
I cupped my hand over my lips and images of our first kiss flashed before my eyes. Squeezing my eyes shut, I pressed my hands against my lips, squelched my sobs, and wished things could go back to the way they were. Back to the time before Tess entered our lives, ruined my blossoming relationship with Max, and stole him from me.
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe
I pulled my robe tighter, shivering as winds like icy fingers swept through the air, burrowing into my skin. As my teeth chattered, I rubbed my hands up and down my goose bump, speckled arms.
"You're the one, Liz..."
The words Max spoke to me when he came here that rainy night rang in my memory. I had believed he meant them too, until I caught him later.
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
Shortly after he left, I had returned to closing up the Crash Down. However, when I went to lock the front door, a bolt of lightning flashed. I saw Max across the street...in Tess's arms, his lips firmly sealed against hers and their arms locked around each other in a passionate embrace.
I know it's true
My heart plummeted.
I stood there, paralyzed.
I couldn't move.
I couldn't speak.
I couldn't cry.
How could Max do this to me?
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
Ripping myself away from the window, I raced up stairs, threw myself across my bed, and buried my face in my pillow, my body shuddering as I struggled to prevent my tears.
Never again
would I turn away from you
When I arrived at the Crash Down the next day to start my shift, Max, Michael, and Isabel were sitting in their usual booth. Uneasily I tucked my hair behind my ear and stalked by them, without a second glance at Max. He panicked and hurried after me. He tried to talk to me, but I turned away and coldly informed him I'd seen him with Tess.
His face paled.
Desperately, he tried to explain that something was wrong with Tess. His attraction to her wasn't human or real. It struck me as ironic how easy it had been for him to pour his soul out to me last night, but today he couldn't form coherent sentences. Had he really meant any of the words he had said?
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is all right
I stared at him, wanting to believe, but didn't dare. I'd already been burned once. Before my grandmother died, I promised her I would follow my heart. No matter where it took me, I would trust it. However, I couldn't do that this time.
And I do believe
Then when Max told me he needed me to have faith in him because he saw things while kissing Tess, my heart sank even further. So I wasn't as special as I thought. If he got flashes from Tess just like he got from me, what else could he do with her that he couldn't with me? Hurt beyond words, I fled up the stairs, the determined tears, which I had managed to squelch up until now, finally forced their way through my tightly closed eyelids and began making their way down my cheeks. Max, not making a move to follow me, stared after me, his amber eyes bleeding with pain.
That not every time is gonna be the way
Although fate had placed him with Tess, I still loved Max. I would always love him even though his destiny required me to sacrifice our relationship, because I knew he would never sever the ties between us. However, whatever happened in the future between us, my heart would and always has belonged to Max Evans.
You think it ought to be
Clenching my fists, I tilted my head up towards the sky and gazed at the blanket of shimmering stars twinkling back at me. A breath of wind whistled through my hair, blowing stray strands into my eyes. I didn't bother to push them away.
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Max and I weren't supposed to be together.
I shook my head, trying to push away my anguish, bury my feelings, and make myself believe it would never work out between us. He was an alien. I was a human. We were from different origins. He needed someone...like Tess, who understood him and shared his background, fighting beside him.
Someone I wasn't and couldn't be.
Pleas say honestly
You won't give up on me
However, there were still plenty of available and suitable men at West Roswell High, I reminded myself. But they weren't Max. No one would ever take his place in my heart.
And I shall believe
I shall believe
And I shall believe
As the song ended, the words faded into the darkness. I leaned back against my chair, my face streaked with tears. Unaware that the song had ended, I continued humming the song's lyrics, which described my entire soul.
In the distance I heard the rattling of someone climbing the latter leading up to my balcony followed by the scuffling of feet as they swung themselves over the wall. Dimly, I felt the presence of another person watching me.
A voice called my name, penetrating through the fog surrounding my thoughts. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip, thinking Maria, when I hadn't returned any of her phone calls earlier, had decided to drop by and check up on me. Since my parents were out of town, there was no one down stairs who could let Maria in through the restaurant. Not wanting to talk to her, I turned my face away, willing her to leave me alone.
I didn't want company.
I wanted to be left alone.
Despite my efforts, the voice persisted.
Inwardly cringing and not wanting to deal with her sympathy, I stayed silent. Maybe then she would understand and leave me alone. After a while when I only heard the sound of my own crying and felt the wind against my face, I thought she had gone home.
Then a hand caressed my cheek.
Startled, my eyes shot up from the spot I'd been contemplating on the ground.
My eyes widened.
Max Evans stood staring at me.
I sucked in a sharp breath.
Blinking, I shook my head.
He wasn't really here.
He was with Tess.
I was dreaming.
However as I opened my eyes, I knew I hadn't imagined him.
I swallowed hard.
Without a word, he knelt before me, raised his hand to my face, and brushed away the lingering traces of my sorrow with his fingers. The simple gesture brought more tears to my eyes. He grasped my hands in his, lightly stroked the back of them with his thumbs, and lifted his eyes up to my face. Silently he urged me not to shut him out. Unwillingly, I stared at our joined hands. Why was he tormenting me like this? Couldn't he see we didn't belong together?
"Max," I hissed when I finally regained the ability to speak. "W-w-what are you doing here?"
He just sat there steadily observing me without speaking for a while. Although his face bore an unreadable expression, I still saw three months worth of bottled up pain still burning in his eyes. My brow wrinkled a little. If he knew he had a destiny with Tess, what was he doing here when he should be with her? A feeling of dread welled up inside my heart at having to push him away again.
"I wanted to see you," he finally replied in a strained voice.
My eyes fluttered shut and Tess's face flashed unbidden across my mind. Regretfully I yanked my hands away, stood up, and hurriedly backed away, distancing myself from the feelings I saw blazing in his eyes. He reached out, trying to pull me into his arms, a temptation I could never give into again. Sadly, I held up my hand and shook my head.
"Liz..."
I glanced over at his desolate figure and turned away, fearful he could read the truth in my eyes. "Go home, Max."
Slowly he stood up and without a word purposely strode towards me. An orangish-black glow, created from the candles, illuminated the determination in his eyes.
I took a step backwards, my heart pounding in my chest. "Max," I begged, a tear falling down my cheek, "don't do this to me." Even though I had pushed him away once, I didn't know if I had enough strength to walk away again. "Just go, please."
He shook his head, stopped in front on me, and brought his hand up to my face, cradling my cheek in his palm. My resolve to stay away from him crumbled. As I began relaxing against his touch, I quickly caught myself and stepped away.
It was time to let him go.
His expression darkened as his disconsolate eyes searched mine. "Liz, what's the matter?"
Anger and frustration swept through my veins at his nerve to ask. He didn't get it, did he? Although he was destined to be with someone else, he still persisted in tormenting me. Couldn't he understand how much this destiny situation tore into my already bleeding heart?
"Stop it," I screamed, shoving him away from me. He barely moved an inch. "Stop hurting me. You have a destiny—"
"With you, I do," he interrupted and stepped closer.
Instinctively I moved backwards, avoiding the hand he raised to my face. Small beads of sweat prickled my forehead as I continued to back away. Suddenly I felt my back pressed against the edge of the balcony. Max stood directly in front of me, trapping me. Uneasily my hands shook as depression settled over me. Would he ever stop? Would he ever leave me alone?
"Liz..."
I needed to get out of here. Pushing past him, I raced towards the safety of my bedroom. With lightning quickness, he grabbed my arm, spun me around so I faced him, seized my other arm, and held me against his chest. Helplessly, I struggled to escape his grasp.
"Max, let me go, please don't make me do this anymore," I cried, pushing against his chest with my fists, my attempts to fight him growing weaker and weaker by the minute.
"Liz," he moaned and tightened his grip around my arms, "you mean everything to me."
As he tried to pull me closer, I finally managed to wiggle free and rushed towards the window leading into my bedroom. Max took off after me. Quickly he closed the distance between us. I struggled to run faster. I was almost there, just a few more feet.
Max tackled me from behind.
Thrown off balance, I fell to the ground. Rolling away, I scrambled to my feet, but his arms suddenly circled my waist, wrestled me to the ground, and immobilized my arms above my head. Then he straddled my hips, pinning me beneath his body. I gave a sigh of defeat.
"Max...you have to let me go. You have a destiny with Tess. I-I can't stand in the way of that. Please, just let go of me." He shook his head and leaned down, his lips dangerously hovering close to mine. My eyes widened, but I couldn't turn away. "W-we don't belong together," I protested weakly before his lips claimed mine.
Involuntarily my eyes closed. Releasing my wrists, his hands surrounded my face, massaging my cheeks with his thumbs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.
Immediately images of the special times he and I had spent together over the previous school year flashed before my eyes.
Max healing me after the shootout at the Crash Down.
Connecting with Max and learning he had loved me ever since the third grade.
Proving my loyalty to the three aliens by keeping their secret.
Hugging Max shortly after he helped me say good-bye to my grandmother before she died.
Riding in the car with him while I Shall Believe played on the radio.
Kissing him for the first time after the winter heat wave.
Dancing with him.
Playing pool and dancing with him on our first date.
Breaking up.
The attempts we made to ignore the awkwardness growing between us.
The jealousy in his eyes as Max claimed he didn't mind if Kyle and I rekindled our relationship.
A drunken Max saying the words I so desperately craved to hear from his mouth.
The hopelessness that filled my heart when he didn't remember what he had said to me.
The happiness I felt in my heart when he finally stopped fighting to be just friends with me.
The love and desire blazing in his eyes the night we almost made love in the desert.
My suspicion towards the way he acted around Tess.
My outrage when I caught Max and Tess kissing.
His panicked expression when I ignored him the next day at the Crash Down.
The vulnerable look in his eyes as he tried to explain that something was controlling him.
Watching the FBI capture Max in the maze of mirrors.
Waiting as the three aliens broke into the compounded where Agent Pierce had imprisoned Max.
The good-bye kiss we shared three months ago.
Then the images began flashing through my mind so fast, I couldn't register all of them anymore.
As Max slowed the kiss down to a caress, he brushed the hair off my face. I opened my eyes and stared up at him, breathing heavily. I noticed he was a little out of breath too as he lifted his hand to my face. I felt a slight tremor ripple through my body as he tenderly traced my lower lips with his fingertip. I moved my lips slightly, kissing his finger. His movements stilled. Reaching up, I caught his hand, leaned my cheek into his palm, and placed a soft kiss against his inner wrist.
"I'm not letting go of you, Liz Parker. No matter what happens, you'll always be my destiny," he whispered, his throaty voice thick with emotion.
Fear instantly gripped my heart as I looked up at him. "What about Tess?"
"What about her? I don't feel anything for her. I look at you and I know you're the person I'm supposed to be with. I've always known it. What happened here that day, when you got shot, and how that brought us together...it's fate."
I swallowed and looked away unable to hold his gaze anymore. My vision swam with tears as I re-lived the night he came here in the pouring rain, saying those exact words. Then I found him kissing Tess after he claimed I was the only one.
"Look at me!" he commanded gently, hooked his finger underneath my chin, redirected my gaze towards his, and stroked my cheek. "You're the one, Liz...the only one. I could never be with anyone else."
Pulling himself to his feet, he extended his hand towards me. Unsure of what he wanted, I alternated my gaze between his face and his out stretched hand, hoping his eyes, the window to his soul, would tell me something.
They didn't.
Slowly, I slipped my fingers into his. As his hand closed around mine, he drew me to my feet, engulfed me in his arms, and rested his chin on top of my head. I clung to him, burying my face in the crook of his neck. Reassuringly, he rubbed his hands over my back. I snuggled closer, smiling wistfully at the warmth of his breath against my neck. He raised his hands higher and slipped his fingers into my long, dark strands of hair, gently massaging my neck. This was where I wanted to be, in his arms, forever.
I couldn't leave him, because I needed him as much as he needed me.
We were stronger together.
"I love you," I absently whispered to myself.
Max stiffened and pulled back enough so he could look me in the eye. "What did you say?"
My eyes widened as I stepped back while my hand came up swiftly to cover my mouth. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I hadn't meant for him to hear that. Quickly, I took another step backwards, trying to get away, but the look on Max's face paralyzed me.
"N-Nothing," I stammered. He didn't look convinced.
Reaching out he grabbed my wrist and restrained me from running away again, although I couldn't have even if I wanted to. "Liz, don't walk away from me!" he whispered huskily, gripping my forearms. He cupped the side of my face, his eyes transfixed on my face. "I love you." The sincerity in his voice stole my breath away. He stepped closer, trailing his fingers over my skin. "Nothing, not Tess nor this destiny crap can change how I feel."
I stared up at him, a mixture of happiness and doubt blazing in my eyes. I opened my mouth to say something, but the words wouldn't come. Speechless, I searched his eyes for any doubt, but I found none.
"Really?" I asked, my voice cracking.
When he nodded, my knees gave out and I collapsed against his chest. Holding me in his arms, he lowered himself to ground and leaned back against the balcony wall. His arms wrapped around my waist and I rested my head against his chest while sitting between his legs. As I listened to the beating of his heart, he pressed his lips against my temple. I shifted closer, bathing in the warmth radiating off him. One of his hands slipped down and captured mine, squeezing it briefly. Sighing, I closed my eyes at the soft, feathery sensation of his thumb caressing my skin.
However, did he mean it? Did he really want to spend forever with me? What if his destiny again shifted the tables, this time tearing us apart for good? No matter how hard we fought or tried to ignore it, it would always be there: a barrier keeping us apart.
Instantly I sobered.
Removing myself from his arms, I pushed myself to my feet, while doubts bombarded my mind, shattering my hopes. I took a few steps away and hugged my arms around my middle, trembling.
"Liz? What's wrong?" Max asked, worry creeping into his voice as he quickly scrambled to his feet, unsure of my sudden withdrawal.
I didn't understand it either, but I knew we couldn't do this. We couldn't just pick up where we left off and pretend everything that had happened with Tess didn't exist.
"Max..." I trailed off uncertainly, searching for the right words to say what I wanted. His slow and even approaching footsteps stopped behind me and I jumped as his hands came to rest on my shoulders. "D-did you really mean it? That you...you know...wanted to be with me...instead of Tess?"
Grasping my shoulders, he brought me around to face him, stepped closer, and leaned his forehead against mine. I shut my eyes, feeling his warm breath on my lips, anxiously awaiting his answer yet dreading it as well.
"With all my heart. I want you in my life," he whispered as he grasped my chin and tilted it up.
My eyes snapped open. As he dipped his lips towards mine, I tensed.
We couldn't do this.
We had to stop looking for ways to stay together and face the facts.
It was truly over between us.
Hastily I turned my face away and his lips grazed my cheek. Surprise played across his face as he pulled back, startled.
Slowly, I shook my head. "No, Max, we can't do this." His burrow furrowed as he stared down at me. I turned my gaze towards the ground, intensely studying something beside my feet. I wouldn't be able to say this if I looked him in the eye. "I-I don't think it's good idea for us to get back together. I mean, you need to be with Tess."
"Liz—"
I cut him off, shoving his hand away as he tried to touch my face. "What about your planet, Max?" I demanded hotly, tears shinning in my eyes. I shouldn't have given into him earlier. Regret gnawed at my heart at my foolishness. "Are you willing to sacrifice the lives of your people just to be with me?" His throat constricted as he stared at me, his gaze wavering with uncertainty.
I turned away and felt my heart breaking, but I had to do this. It was the only way. "I'm sorry, Max, but you and I..." I took a deep breath and prayed for strength before I dropped my final bombshell, "it's just not meant to be. You don't belong here." He stiffed as if I had slapped him. "Your planet needs you more than I do, Max. G-go back to, Tess...you need to be with her...not me."
A lump once again rose in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut, unsuccessfully struggling to keep my voice from breaking. I glanced back at him and watched the devastation, caused by my words, transform his features. Quickly I looked away. "E-even though you have a destiny w-with h-h-her, w-w-we can still—"
My words were instantly silenced as Max roughly seized my wrist, whipped me around, grabbed my other arm, and crushed my body against his. Before I protest, his lips crashed against mine. I gave a startled squeal and pushed against his chest. His grip tightened. Instinctively, my body began responding to his caresses. Feeling an overpowering urge to hold onto something, I wrapped my arms around his waist, emitting of groan of pleasure from the back of his throat.
As his lips slid across the hollow of my neck, leaving open-mouth kisses over my skin, a strangled purr erupted from my throat as I ran my fingers through his hair. Gasping, I threw my head back and felt the pressure of his lips against the base of my throat. As his lips returned to mine, he caught my lower lip between his teeth, bit down, and lovingly tugged on it. I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing heavily.
Without breaking the kiss, Max slid his tongue across my bottom lip, pleading for entry. I relaxed my jaw, trembling as he entered. A passion, which I had believed to be dead, broke out between us as his tongue massaged the back of mine. I inhaled sharply, digging my nails into his back.
Unknowingly, I began leaning backwards and pulled him on top of me. Max moved closer, overbalanced us, and we toppled backwards. I landed on my back, pinned underneath his body.
Startled out of the kiss, he pushed himself up and stared down at me through slightly dilated eyes. "I spent three months of agony without you," he whispered huskily, playing with several stands of my hair, "and I'm not doing that again. I don't want to lose you."
"But Max—"
He cut my words off by pressing a finger to my lips and shook his head. "I told you, I'm not letting you go. I never cared about Tess. You're all I ever wanted. Although I want to help save my planet, I can't do it without you at my side."
I closed my eyes; his words, like sunshine, broke through the icy walls I had erected around my heart. A serene smile crossed my lips as he lightly kissed the top of my head. It didn't matter how hard I fought or argued, Max wanted me in his life.
Not Tess, me.
He wasn't going to let me walk away from him again.
Clutching my hand, he lifted me to my feet, led me inside my bedroom, and laid down on my bed. I kicked off my shoes and snuggled into his arms. As I leaned my head on his shoulder, his arm curled around my shoulders as he tenderly cradled me in his arms. Moving closer, a wave of relief swept through my veins that my parents were out of town as Max lightly nuzzled the top of my head.
With his body tightly pressed against mine, I knew it didn't matter what fate threw our way; we would face it, together. Nothing could ever tear us apart again.
We were one soul.
Max and I belong with each other.
As his fingers tenderly caressed the sensitive skin on my arm below the edge of my sleeve, I turned my head towards him and whispered, "I love you, Max."
I wasn't sure if he had heard me or not, but then his lips quirked up into his secret smile and his eyes shifted towards me. As he clasped my hand and brought my fingers up to his lips, he lifted his other hand to my face. I leaned forward, anticipating the feel of his lips against mine. Encouraged, he closed the distance between us, brushing his lips against mine.
"I love you too, Liz Parker," he whispered as he brought his lips close to my ear, his breath tickling my skin, "now and forever. You're my true destiny."
Author's Note: I reread my previous version and wasn't quite happy with the way it turned out. So I rewrote it. Please let me know what you thought of this new and improved version. I love hearing from you.
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