disclaimer: i don't own degrassi, nor the characters. but if i did, camaya would be endgame, get married, and have beautiful children.

"I'm over Cam," she says strongly, her voice firm and sure. Firm as if she would never take it back and she's proud of it.

But she's lying to herself and she knows it. Everyone around her knows it as well.

It had been days, weeks, and months since Cam had taken his life and there wasn't a day that passed where Maya didn't think of Cam.

Campbell Saunders. That boy who was in her French class. The star of the Ice Hounds and was well on his way to be part of the NHL. The one with the light brown hair and soft hazel eyes that were Maya's weakness whenever she leaned in right before their sweet and innocent kisses.

How could she have forgotten?

What had she gotten herself into? In just a short amount of time, Maya had completely turned around her life. Instead of being a social shut-in who dedicated all her time to playing her cello and worrying about auditions, Maya often found herself now slamming the door to her room during the late hours of the night and rolling her eyes at her parents when they screamed her at her for being out too late and not telling them.

Even her older sister and best friends started noticing the change in Maya's behavior as time ticked on.

"Whoa," Katie had said, her blue eyes widening at the appearence of her younger sister one Friday night. Their parents were out of town and this was one of the last times Katie would be in charge before she headed off to Stanford in the fall. Maya was wearing a skimpy and tight light blue top that made her eyes look even more blue and lacy white bodycon skirt that was definitely too short.

"I'm going out. I'll be back whenever," Maya called and headed for the door before her older sister could say anything else.

And there, she was out the door.

Sometimes it crossed her mind of why she was partying now and going as far as drinking and smoking. It all traced back to one reason: Cam.

Before Cam was gone, Maya was almost the polar opposite of how she is now. She didn't understand it. She understood none of it. How could just one person have that big of an effect on her life? For example, her Grandma Catherine had passed away during the summer between eighth and ninth grade. And her Grandma Catherine was someone Maya saw often, ect.

But that passing wasn't strong enough to turn Maya into someone who was gonna spend her junior year in juvie or give her virginity away at any time.

When she really and truly thought of why things ended up the way they were, she finally got an answer: she was in love with Cam.

She wasn't over him. She loved him. He loved her back. Never in her life had she met someone who had understood her so well. She didn't get it. Why did Cam want to take his life? He had her. She had him. They had each other. Why?

They were each other's first loves. They were always there for each other. Never a day passed where they didn't cross each other's minds.

But it's too late now. She's lying with every step that she takes and she knows that she'll always have Cam in her heart, no matter what.

a/n -

Please, please, please give this some feedback. I have no idea how this turned out. It's 10:06 at night right now and I'm hyper on a bout of feels and I decided to channel my hyperactivity into a somewhat-angsty oneshot or drabble, whatever you'd like to call it. I love Cam. I love Maya. They're The OTP of Degrassi. And yes, they replaced Dolly J for me. Excuse me while I go and cry now.

- Juliet.