Character Academy
Me: Heylo! I was bored on fanfic and, of course, what better place to look for things to cure boredom than…. STFANGOFBOREDOM!
Finn: Wonderful.
Me: And I came up with an idea based off of A Day of Therapy Center….
Finn: And as all fanfics must do….
Disclaima!: I do not own anyone from Twilight, Harry Potter, Kingdom Keepers, Percy Jackson, or Lord of the Rings. Except Finn. I kidnapped him.
Finn: Hey!
Me: I might quote Saint in here. BEGONE, SATAN!
Finn: She laughed for ten minutes after that.
Me: And also….
Special Thanks to…
Saint and Fang over in New England! (In the U.S.)! I thank you for the special idea of my school for fictional characters! So I don't want to plagiarize your awesome story 'cause that would call for lawsuit.
Finn: Who would you pick as a lawyer?
Me: … Melvin the Purple Bunny Rabbit or George the Redcoat.
Finn: Why Melvin?
Me: Well, he's incredibly cute, good for persuading a jury, and really argumentative when needed.
Finn: What about George?
Me: He was a lawyer before entering the Revolutionary War.
Finn: Ah…
Character Academy
Kat's (Me) POV
I scribbled down my signature on the paper. I had to sign the papers and other crap. When you're a principal, you do lots of weird things. My glow-phone rang and I pressed the blue button.
"Yeah?"
"Kat? You're needed in room 30B. Kronos is trying… to… enslave a chair," Mr. Brunner's voice said through the phone. I sighed and took one last look at my papers before shoving them into my desk. As I walked out, I went past my secretary, Taffy.
"Another emergency, ma'am?" He asked, typing furiously at his glow-pad.
"Yeah, Kronos needs more counseling," I sighed. "Email Dionysus and tell him to meet me in 30B."
"Okay, good luck," he said. I went up the stairs and walked inside room 30B.
"You shall obey my every will! I command you!" Kronos hollered, flinging the chair about the room. And even worse, Luke was encouraging him.
"Enslave it. You can own the chair. Own it!" He said silkily.
"Make him stop," Poseidon begged.
"Or I will," Zeus added.
"Please," Hades said, rolling his eyes.
"Destroying people is not rational," Athena reasoned.
"Well if they're not cute, I say get rid of them," Aphrodite applied lip gloss.
"I'll squash 'em," Ares pounded his fist into his desk.
"Love is good," Hera said dreamily.
"Boys are nothing," Artemis growled.
"Ahem ahem," Apollo coughed. Everyone groaned.
"Kronos is trying to enslave a chair. Everyone is running about here or there.
I like to rhyme what I'm thinking. Zeus' pen is constantly inking." Zeus shook his pen angrily, spattering ink everywhere.
"Hey!" Aphrodite whined.
"Shut up!" I exclaimed. There was dead silence except for Kronos whacking the chair.
"You rang?" Dionysus strolled in. He saw Kronos and sighed.
"I better be getting paid for this," he grumbled and took Kronos' arm and lead him out of the room.
"Thank you," Mr. Brunner said.
"No problem," I said. I turned and glared at Luke. "Keep it in line or you'll be joining the insane asylum." I left and headed back to my office. The second I stepped inside, Taffy put down his glow-phone.
"Alice Cullen has left the building," he said solemnly. I groaned.
"Scrat's talking to her teacher, Hephaestus now. Meanwhile, Alfred and George are out looking for her."
"Probably a sale at Macy's or something," I said. I went in my office and looked at my blank wall. I used it for portals and viewing portals.
"Hocus Pocus, Abrakadabra, Alakazam… Cheezits!" I said. The wall opened up to show me Alice running through JCpenny's with George and Alfred not far behind. I sighed as Alice poured on vampire speed and left them behind. George pulled out his bayonet and shot into the racks of clothes. People screamed and ran everywhere. I sighed.
"Alice, Alice is running away. Even though she has school today. She might run past a gangster. Please send Broomhilda the Giant Hamster!" I said. A flash of lightning appeared and Broomhilda, in her giant plastic ball, rolled around Macy's, squishing racks of clothes and rolled towards Alice. She turned on her vampire speed but couldn't escape. She got stuck in one of the holes in the side. Broomhilda turned and broke a hole in the wall, rolling out. The viewing portal turned off and I sat down at my desk. That's when Finn came in.
"Having fun?"
"Shut up," I growled, scribbling my signature on one paper.
"I heard about Kronos enslaving the chair," he laughed.
"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled.
"Also, Harry Potter started a fight with Frodo today. It was over something about macadamia nut." I sighed. One thing that Harry would have to learn, don't mess with Frodo and the macadamia nuts.
"Are they ok?"
"Yeah, Delaney broke it up by threatening to eat them." I flipped over a piece of paper and scribbled a note to myself.
Note to Self,
More therapy sessions for Delaney.
I got up and walked past Finn.
"Where are you going?"
"Cafeteria. I'm hungry. Meanwhile, do the papers. The ones on the left need vice principal signature." I left and went down to the cafeteria. I walked in and saw George the Redcoat screaming at Aphrodite for making Annabeth and Percy fall in love and constantly talk about each other. Delaney was threatening to eat Hermione for being a quarter short for her meal. Clarisse was giving Sam a noogie while Ares cheered her on. Athena was yelling at Ares for being a cretinous troglodyte. I got on the table and pulled out my pocket microphone.
"Listen up!" No one heard me.
"Hey!" I yelled. Still, noise.
"HEY!" I screamed. Everyone looked at me and fell silent. Time to deal with the problems.
"Ares, don't cheer on harm. Athena's right, she's always right. Clarisse, don't give hobbits noogies. They may have annoyed you like Percy with the Toilet Incident but he is your semi-friend. Aphrodite, no creating love in the cafeteria. Rule Number 5000," I said. Sure enough, on the wall, was the list of rules, and number 5000 stated that creating love in the cafeteria is strictly forbidden.
"Delaney, it's just a quarter. Let it go! And Hermione, catch," I tossed her a quarter.
"Now. Can we get along now?" Everyone nodded. "Continue," I hopped off the table and got some chicken nuggets from the Tasty Food Junction. I grabbed a tray and headed up to my office. After sitting down, Taffy came in and quietly closed the door for my privacy. Sometimes, I really liked that elf.
Me: And there you have it. The long anticipated Character Academy!
Finn: It took her forever. In her sleep, she kept muttering "Must… update… Academy… Grapefruit King…"
Me: Evil Grapefruit King!
R & R? Resist the Grapefruit King!