Hey everybody. First off i would like to apologize, my life has been so insanely busy that you could not possible even imagine. Im so sorry for not updating and i feel really bad about it so im gonna do my best to put out a few chapters during this awsomely lovely March Break. I can't guarentee how many ill be able to get done, but im tryin!!!!!
Also reviews help me write faster.....when i know how you feel about it I tend to be more likely to write better and publish faster.
Now this is just a quick little one shot of Bella's madness in the few months after Edward left...you may notice some wording that seems like it came from a song...that is mostly likely because bits of this was inspired by music that i was listening too. So if in doubt the credit goes to the people who wrote the lyrics and they know who they are. As for the disclaimer i think that it is fairly obvious that i dont own anything Twilight. REVIEW REVVIEW REVIEW
Bella we're leaving.....
It felt like my heart was ripped to shreds. The physical wound was on my arm, the scar forever a reminder of the awful accident that ruined everything. My clumsiness come to claim the most important thing in my life. I was to blame, of that i was certain. There was no question in my mind that i was resposable, and though it hurt i knew that he thought he knew what was best
I'm not good for you Bella....
He was the best thing that ever happened to me, how could he ever think that. You never know what something means to you until its been ripped away. How could he think that he was bad for me when i loved him. I'd have given my life for him. My life....my heart....my body...my soul. Nothin means anything without him. I dream of a life with him in it, and know I will never have that.
There is no point to anything anymore. Life just isn't worth living without him. Were are you know as things are falling apart. I spend my days waiting by the phone for a call that i know will never come. You meant what you said, and that just makes it hurt more. I guess in the end everyone ends up alone.
You spent you existence looking for the one that you loved and the one that loved you as you were. You found me, but walked away. The only one who's ever known what you are......
I promise that this will be the last time that you'll see me...It will be as if I never existed....
That was never a promise that I wanted you to make. There was never a doubt in my mind that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life and hopefully much longer with, and you told me that you felt the same. Was it all a lie? Did you figure that you could just toy with me until something better came along and I wouldn't mind? That i'd be thankful that someone as amazing as you wanted me at all?
Just because your not here doesn't mean that I don't see you. Everytime I close my eyes, i see you. Everytime I dream, there you are. Everytime I hear classical music, i see your face. When the wind blows, or the sun shines; when rain falls from the sky I think of you and i see your face in all its godlike glory. That gorgeous crooked smile, the messy bronze hair, your topaz eyes....they are always with me.
It'll be as if I never existed...
Do you think you are that easily forgotten? I could never forget you, even if i wanted to. You were my light in the dark. You heard my hopes and always knew my dreams. They were all centered around you, and that will never change. I loved you from the moment i met you and I'll love you until the day I die. I know that you loved me too, though i could never figure out why, i knew that you did.
You think you know whats best, but you don't. Could ruining two lives really be whats best? Could driving me insane with the worry that you've done something stupid like gone to the Volturi, really be all for the best? Could making me feel like the world has come crashing down on me and there is no where left to go really be in my best intrest? Without you I'd have been dead that day Tyler lost control of his van....so how can being without you really be what's best?