Sweetness
Naruto couldn't help it; no matter how much he tried to get over his pretty rosette haired friend, she was still the first girl, the first crush and the first love. His first everything. And maybe he knew he was setting himself up for disappointment the moment he fell for her all those years ago but at the time, she was just so spunky, just so pretty and just so…Sakura.
Those first few months after Sasuke left, and she was heartbroken and sore, all he could think of doing was looking after her, giving her everything he had to help her smile, and holding her hand when she cried behind his back when no one was looking. And he had. And it had killed him when he had to leave her behind for those two and a half years. Leaving her alone with no shoulder to cry on. No hand to hold. No arms to be protected in.
There wasn't a day when he didn't think of her. When her green eyes didn't plague his mind. When her chirpy laughter didn't ring in his ears. When her angry voice didn't scold him and when her screams of anger didn't make him wince. When her smile didn't help him during the toughest times of his training. Distance didn't seem so much of an issue then. And he knew she was thinking of him. She had wished him the best of luck before he walked out those gates and had sworn that by the time they both met again, they'd be stronger than before.
All those promises. Naruto had never, as of yet, failed to fulfil any one of them. He had made sure he kept each and every single one of them. And when Sasuke had finally returned, he knew his ultimate mission was complete. He was exhausted and tired and felt as if his feet would collapse underneath him, even though his best friend was holding onto him – his own weight being pushed onto the blond as they struggled through the gates of Konoha.
She had been there at the hospital to find her two friends looking like a morbidly funny picture of death warmed over. Her green eyes had met his first and then travelled to the dark eyed boy next to him. But it was the way she looked at Naruto, that he knew. Sakura didn't need words to tell him how thankful she was. He could see it in her eyes, as her tears fell down her cheeks and as she dropped to her knees, unable to do anything but cry.
Why couldn't he stop loving her? Why couldn't he stop his feelings for her even though his mind told him he had no chance? He knew that the girl only thought of them all as brothers, best friends and as family. She had accepted Sasuke's decision to never date her long ago and while Naruto had been happy that she had gotten over him, he was jealous at her ability to let go. Why couldn't he? He was supposed to be able to do anything! Surely "anything" included getting over pink haired kunoichis!
Many a time, his friends – the males anyway – had tried to help him, had treated him to ramen and many drunken nights to help ease his mind off her. But with every attempt, his feelings seemed to counter them ten fold. They just got stronger and stronger and he knew this was the end of him. Naruto never knew he'd be reduced to this over some girl. But when he thought about it, it wasn't just any girl. It was a girl with countenance, a girl with silliness and goofiness and stupidity and intelligence and naiveté and everything that he both hated and loved.
The boy felt like an idiot. She had reduced him to a depressed, drunk idiot…on Saturdays, Sundays and Thursdays anyway. And today was a Saturday…or rather tonight was a Saturday. So that left him with about thirty-six hours or so until he would be able to forget her for however long his mission took him. And as he sat at the bar, swirling his sake in his cup and brooding over Sakura, he didn't realise he was starting to fall into his drink until Shikamaru gave him a painful – and much needed – whack across the head.
"Oi, idiot, don't drown in it," he commented dryly, sipping his own drink with an amused smirk on his lips.
Naruto looked at his fellow Jounin blearily and groaned. "Let me wallow in my sorrow…"
The head tactician scoffed and rolled his eyes, nudging Chouji and the other guys who were sitting with them. They all looked over to their heartsick friend and either shook their heads in sympathy or pity. Naruto didn't know which was better.
"Seriously, have you tried telling her?" Shikamaru asked in boredom.
The blond only seemed to grow more depressed. "I thought I let her know a million times when we were still Genins. So yeah, I'm pretty sure she knows."
This time it was Sasuke who hit him on the head, annoyance in his tone when he hissed quietly,
"We were Genins years ago, idiot. She doesn't know about now."
Naruto glared at him. "Shut up, jerk."
The Uchiha snorted and took a drink. "Your loss."
Sakura would more than likely sedate him before she listened to his long overdue confession. He wouldn't be surprised if she gave him something to forget about his feelings for her. And he didn't want to risk making her feel awkward and hesitant to be around him so there was no way in hell he could tell her. With a scornful glance at Shikamaru, he told his genius of a friend,
"You're lucky you have Ino. It would take a real smartass to take down someone liker her."
The thin browed boy smirked. "All it takes is a little tactic."
The blond snorted. "Yeah and I wish I had that."
Dark eyes rolled as Sasuke commented in a matter-of-factly tone, "You're a Jounin, of course you have it. Just apply it, dobe."
Blue eyes blinked. "So is the girl the mission or the enemy?"
-THWACK!-
"Ouch! What the f-!"
"THE MISSION YOU IDIOT!" exclaimed Sasuke, Shikamaru and Kiba in exasperation.
Rubbing his head furiously, the whiskered boy glared at his friends. "Right, right, I got it you bastards! You didn't have to hit so hard…"
--
Naruto often thought that his feelings were starting to do some serious damage to his brain. Why? Because he found them getting stronger and stronger and sometimes, an ache that was so familiar, would arise in his chest and he would just stop suddenly and wait for it to pass. This had never happened on a mission. Ever. And boy was he glad. Shinobi weren't supposed to show emotion. Maybe he should have listened at least a little bit in class to how to ease pain but the boy was a bundle of emotion and nothing could change that. Not even a lobotomy done by his very clever medic of a friend.
But besides aching chest pains and sharp tugs at his heartstrings, he also suspected that his mind was starting to fail him. On more than one occasion whenever he was near Sakura or talking to her, he swore there was something behind her eyes in the way she looked at him. Whether it was how she seemed to be looking at him for a slightly longer period than necessary or whether it was how he felt her eyes on him as he walked away from her or when he wasn't looking, he knew it was too good to be true.
She wouldn't think of him like that. There was no way.
But he couldn't help but think about it. And wish. He loved it when she took time to spend with him, to spar or have lunch or dinner or just walk around the streets of Konoha with him and chat. He loved it. And he also couldn't help the way she would scold him lightly for not taking better care of himself before healing his wounds and slathering healing salves over his cuts and gashes. He was well aware of how he would stare at her face, so full of concentration and determination. He knew everything about her. From the angle at which her cheeks curved, to the imperfections of the skin of her face, to the when she plucked her eyebrows and when she didn't.
He knew what sort of perfume she used on a daily basis and always knew that she was in a good mood when she used the fruity one. She would unconsciously finger her nails during work if they were too long and sigh heavily when she was hungry. The last one was his favourite because then he'd have an excuse to take her out. And no matter what Sakura thought about those friendly gestures, Naruto always secretly pretended that they were dates.
He ran a hand through his hair as he walked through town, looking through the report he had just finished, making sure that everything was in there before he handed it to Tsunade. And it was then, as he passed the Yamanaka's flower shop, that he suddenly paused, mid-step and his nose was assaulted with that same fruity scent that labelled Sakura. Sure enough, not a second later, she bounded up behind him.
"Naruto!"
He turned around and grinned. "Hi, Sakura-chan! Ino-chan!"
The pink haired girl skipped up to him, a smiling Ino by her side. Both girls were carrying stalks of tuber roses, wrapped in plastic and a single ribbon each. The tall boy looked towards the plants and then up at the girls in interest.
"What's with the flowers?"
The green eyed girl beamed at him. "Didn't you hear? Anko's pregnant! We're going over to see her at the Academy now to congratulate her."
The blonde girl winked cheekily. "Seems that she and Izumo have really been getting it on."
Sakura scolded her friend for her gauche remarks but turned to Naruto, a soft smile on her lips. "Take me out to dinner later? Ichiraku's since it's your treat."
How could he say no? There really was no point to even ask because he would jump at any chance to be near the medic nin. Even if she only thought of him as an annoying little brother, he'd just have to go with it. Being around her was good enough…or it should have been good enough.
"Naruto?"
Oh how he hated to see that hurt, confused frown on her forehead, especially since his long silence was probably the reason for it. So, plastering on his trademark grin, he nodded his head and gave her a thumbs-up.
"Sure thing! I just need to hand these over to Tsunade first. I'll meet you there after you see Anko?"
She flashed him a brilliant smile, not noticing the way Ino smirked and nudged her old friend from behind, causing a bright blush to rise onto her cheeks. "S-sure thing, Naruto. Later then!" she called, her voice uneven as Ino pulled her away towards the Academy. Naruto stood there for a few seconds, cocking his head to the side at Sakura's strange behaviour. He knew her too well to know she was nervous towards the end of their conversation. Nervous about what though? Surely he hadn't said anything to offend her. He'd grown a lot more than that and he knew how to think before he spoke…although his mouth did still run away with him…perhaps he had said something weird?
Whoops. Sighing and continuing his trek to the Hokage's mansion, Naruto thought bitterly how lame he was at dealing with girls. He always, always managed to have them push him into the friend's zone. And that zone was getting lonelier and a lot drabber by the minute. Pretty soon, Sakura was going to be taken away from him and then he'd really be down in the dumps. He prayed that he wasn't the only bachelor around by the time that happened. But then again, now that he thought about it, most of the elder Jounins and ANBU were single.
Was that the fate of a Shinobi? Well…he sure as hell wasn't going to be able to revive his own clan at this rate. Damn…and he really wanted little Uzumaki's running around town and creating as much havoc – if not more – than he.
His mind began to linger onto thoughts of what his children would look like with a blond father and a pinkette mother…
--
"Nori!"
"Sake!"
"Rice!"
"Shitake mushrooms! Ha! Beat that Sakura-chan!"
"Fried squid!"
"…Not bad…"
Sakura smiled smugly as the two waited for their order. Outside the restaurant, the sky was a dusky, purple shade, slowly mixing with pink and purple and black, a lovely dusting of stars beginning their entrance into the night. They'd been playing their game for well over twenty minutes and had almost been kicked out when they didn't order. It was a lucky thing for them that Chouji had not been there for Sakura would probably have had a much harder time.
All Naruto could think of from where he sat was how close their bodies were, her bare arm would brush against his occasionally in his short-sleeved black t-shirt and he stiffened whenever contact was made. It was something of a miracle that his face managed to stay the same, tanned colour even though he was sure a blush was aching to rise and totally blow his cover.
Blue eyes inconspicuously turned to the corner to watch the pink haired medic as she sipped her juice, a content smile on her lips. The soft, yellow light played nicely across her face, highlighting the bridge of her nose, her upper lip and of course making those jade eyes glisten with fire. Smiling to himself at his train of thought, he reminded himself of the many times Sakura had wanted to be called beautiful by all her peers, particularly Ino. For someone who was so sure of herself, she sure lacked confidence and self esteem at times. Naruto couldn't understand it, how could she not be pretty?
"I would tell you you're beautiful every hour of the day if it made you happy," he mumbled under his breath and then froze, his ears burning and turning a bright shade of red upon realising that he had said it out loud.
"Hm?" Sakura turned to him serenely, the smile giving way to a frown as she looked at his mortified state, tilting her head to the side. "Naruto, what's wrong with you?"
Smiling nervously, he gave a short laugh, scratching the back of his head. "Uh aha, nothing, nothing…just hungry…that's all."
She raised a dubious brow. "Don't lie to me. All those years with you have taught me just a few things about you," she told him with folded arms. He was really sinking now.
Thankfully, the food was served at that exact moment and the blond took his chance to thank the old Teuchi profusely, laughing so loud so as to drown out Sakura's angry yelling. After a while though, seeing that he was not going to answer her, the girl sighed and gave up, shaking her head with a smirk and digging into her food.
"You, Naruto, are really something else."
He did not know what she meant. But the way his heart sped up and the small smile that curled the corners of his lips upward gave him some idea of just how smitten with this girl he was.
She had just succeeded in making him fall harder without so much as batting an eyelash.
'And you're just as bad,' he thought to himself, his mouth full of ramen.
They ate in comfortable silence for the most part, not including the time Sakura began yelling at him for stupidity when he burned his tongue on the hot soup and began tearing up and fanning his mouth furiously. The kunoichi had all but stuffed an ice cube down his throat from her glass of juice and smacked him on the back of the head for being such an idiot.
Laughing sheepishly at himself, he couldn't help but realise with contentedness just how little things change.
"Thanks for treating me, it's been a while since just the two of us hung out." Sakura smiled at him as she stirred the leftover soup with her chopsticks and swung her legs back and forth some time later.
It had been a while, now that Naruto thought about it. Well, not exceedingly long, but two weeks was something when you were away on missions half the time or busy with reports and helping out at the Academy every now and then. He thought about it for a moment before telling her,
"Well, requests have been coming in less and less these days so I'm pretty sure I'll have more free time soon." Grinning and winking at her before downing his orange juice, he failed to notice the blush that burned the girl's cheeks and the small, endearing smile that formed on her lips.
Her words had a rather pleasant effect on him. He too missed being able to see her as often as they used to and these days he was often asked to go on missions alone or with his other ANBU mates. There were a few times when she would join and he was more than happy to have her along but they were far and in between so he wasn't always lucky.
The boy was loath to think about how much she had impacted him and how strongly his feelings constantly chose to grow. It was as if they were not even a part of him anymore but more like an extension of his mind that had a life of their own. And they were continually putting him through pain and frustration and bitterness. Because she would not look at him that way. Of that he was quite certain.
His first kiss had been with a guy. It was an interesting experience to say the least and thoroughly humiliating. And no offense at all to Sasuke but he had often hoped that his first would be Sakura...because if it was her, he only needed one. And maybe that would help him stay complete.
'Just one is enough…'
--
Given a chance, it was definite that Naruto would have married Sakura. Given the courage, it was also definite that he would have asked her to marry him. Given the confidence, it was probable that he would have asked her out. Given the skills, it was still unlikely that he would have made her like him just a little more when they were kids. Why? Because Naruto had that annoying knack of being able to screw everything up because of a little nervousness.
It was ironic to think that he had witnessed life-threatening situations and lived through them. But the one thing that he couldn't live through was being rejected by Sakura. Because he wasn't a child anymore, he was in love, and love felt like a heavy iron shackle on his heart, weighing it down and creating that painfully familiar feeling in his chest, the sort that one felt before jumping off a really high cliff with nothing but the water below to ease your landing.
The landing hadn't come yet. He was still falling. Faster and faster and it wasn't something anyone could just get used to like most things. The further he fell, the stronger he felt and the more he wished it would just end. It was strange how beautiful this imperfection was. And it was also heart wrenching how imperfect this beauty was. But then again, the most beautiful things came with a price. His love was gold. And the price was loneliness.
'I would never leave you…'
And his words were true.
Because if she would have him, he would do everything in his power and more to always come back to her. He would never leave her. Ever…Because he would rather die than be the reason for her tears and pain. He hated seeing her in pain. Because he never felt so helpless whenever she was.
But sometimes, especially on particularly bad days, he hated being the one who was constantly hurt. And then…when things got really bad, he would blame her for it. And that would make him feel a million times worse.
Love was a fastidious thing. It is always looking to be fulfilled and completed. And on very rare occasions, it was. But most of the time, and for the majority of those poor, lifeless souls out there, it was only a burden that would keep people grounded and keep them focused on reality. It was a well-known fact that pain was an alarm clock that made the eyes see what the heart could not.
He thought about this despairingly as he lay back on the grass at the twelfth training ground on the hill, overlooking the forest below. It was one of those painful nights. All the images conjured in his mind were of her. Her laughing, her smiling, her crying. And his favourite was her looking at him with that small, reluctant smile tugging at the corner of her mouth whenever he told a joke to cheer her up, her eyes still red from crying and her nose swollen and running slightly.
He smiled to himself wistfully and closed his eyes, again seeing her looking back at him.
"Ugh, I hate this," he groaned, frowning as his fingers gripped the grass in annoyance.
"Hate what?"
Blue eyes snapped open. Of all the voices he expected to hear, hers wasn't on the list tonight. Sakura looked down at him in concern, her skin blue in the night.
"Sakura…" he managed dazedly before scrambling up into sitting position. "What are you doing here?"
Her eyes flashed with something unrecognisable before she shrugged and sat down next to him. "I was around the area…"
He raised a brow at her and told her flatly, "This far from the city?"
Glaring and poking her finger into his head she snapped, "I take walks at night idiot!"
He narrowed his eyes at her and folded his arms childishly. "Of course you do, liar."
She gaped at him. "Naruto!"
"What? You are lying! It's so plainly obvious!" he exclaimed defiantly, secretly smiling at the red-faced, affronted expression she wore.
"I should kick your sorry ass into the ground," Sakura threatened, pulling on her gloves slowly.
He smirked and looked at her smugly. "Just try it."
Green eyes narrowed dangerously before Sakura turned away huffily. "Jerk."
He chuckled good-naturedly and nudged her playfully. "So really, what were you doing around here?"
The pink haired girl was silent for a few moments before she turned to him, her face calm and serious. "Looking for you."
His heart skipped a beat.
Part of his mind was angry, wishing she wouldn't toy with him like this, wishing he was smart and rational enough to stop wishing that her words meant what they sounded like. There was no hidden meaning. None at all.
"Oh." He tried to sound casual but failed miserably. "So what's up?"
Naruto really didn't mean to let that little bit of harshness show in his voice but he couldn't help it. Unfortunately, even Sakura heard it and she turned to him immediately, wide-eyed and anxious.
"N-Naruto…are you…angry?" she asked, almost disbelievingly.
He shook his head but even that tiny notion wasn't convincing enough, especially since his blue eyes were dark and cast down at his knees. He could hear the way her heartbeat sped up, her breath quickening and it told him exactly what was going to happen. She was going to start crying. He could read her like a book. And she always cried easily. He told her as much.
"You always cried so easily." The wry smile he gave her made the girl stop and just stare at him. He hated himself for making her feel like this.
"Naruto…" she whispered, reaching out to touch his arm. "I meant it when I said I was looking for you."
'Please don't give me false hope.'
"I believe you." It hurt to say those words. "So, what's the problem?"
Sakura just stared at him. He knew his lack of emotion was beginning to get to her. She knew that when he became like this, it was best to leave him alone.
"You don't…understand what I'm trying to say…do you?" she said carefully, holding onto the sleeve of his black shirt.
He snorted. "Well if you came all the way out here to tell me something, I guess it'd have to be important right, Sakura-chan?"
"Sakura," she interrupted.
He looked at her, puzzled now. "What?"
Pink brows were knitted together in determination as she planted herself in front of him, kneeling between his legs and gripped his shoulders. He was too busy trying to decipher what she meant to realise just how close they were. He could feel her body heat and smell the orange she had had after dinner but all that went passed him as she stared him square in the face.
"Just, Sakura from now on."
He frowned in confusion and tilted his head to the side. "Sakura?" The girl nodded but Naruto wasn't understanding any of this. "What are you talking about?"
She growled in frustration and shook his shoulder, succeeding in bringing herself a few inches closer to his face as she exclaimed with a helpless laugh,
"Oh for heaven's sake Naruto! Don't you understand what I'm saying? I mean, I'm here aren't I? And I'm really trying here but you don't seem to be getting any of it through."
He scoffed and shook his head. "That's because I'm not getting any of it through! What did you come here for?"
Sakura stared at him in exasperation. "I already told you! To see you! To find you because…because…I…"
The boy waited for her to continue, becoming increasingly bothered by her indecisiveness and even more confused by her questions. She spoke as if he was supposed to know what her stupid riddles meant. Well he didn't understand any of it! All he could see was frustration behind her eyes, the inability to tell him what she was thinking. So, she came here to find him. So what? It didn't mean anything. And if this was a joke, it wasn't a very kind one. But deep down he knew Sakura wouldn't pull something like that on him. But it didn't stop the myriad of emotions he felt for her come flooding back into his mind.
And yet again, everything he saw…was her.
He closed his eyes and took her wrists and pulled her hands gently off his shoulders, bringing them to her lap. His eyes were downcast, the dark shadows forming there betraying the bitterness he was feeling. Naruto could hear her breath catch in her throat. And he didn't want her to cry again.
"You know," he began ruefully, "I've only ever wanted one kiss from you. That…would have been enough."
She inhaled a shuddering breath and continued to look at him.
He spoke again, looking up at her this time, the glistening in his eyes making her heart weep. He could see it in her eyes.
"I…I know I'm not what you wanted. But I'm here as your friend. And you can always count on that. So…whatever you have to say-"
"You're such an idiot," she gushed in a whisper before throwing herself forward.
Naruto didn't have time to think. He didn't have time to register that there was a girl on him, holding onto him so tightly. He didn't have time to taste the citrus that was left on her lips as she kissed him. He didn't have time to enjoy the way her tongue swept through every single crevice of his mouth.
All he could think of was that of all the times that Naruto had thought about kissing Sakura, never once did he think that she would be the one to latch onto him and claim it herself.
Slowly, she pulled back slightly, her eyes heavy lidded as she whispered softly against his lips,
"It's only you."
He forgot to breathe.
His arms moved around her and held her closer to him, his heart beginning to believe again.
"It's only me?"
She kissed him again, softly this time as if to prove a point.
"Only you. Always."
His fingers fisted into her shirt and he clamped his eyes shut. "Why?"
Smiling gently against his lips, Sakura closed her own eyes and pressed her forehead against his. "Because I love you. A lot."
Suddenly everything seemed a lot lighter. He wanted to cry.
"Since when?" he choked. And apparently he wasn't the only one who had held in his tears too long. But then again, it was Sakura. He felt her wet cheeks against his and tasted her tears when she kissed him again and again, almost desperately as if she couldn't get enough and was trying hard to prove her feelings to him. He could taste the guilt and the sadness and the hope and the need.
"Since…a long time. But I was scared you wouldn't want to anymore," she confessed, weeping against him and gripping onto him for dear life.
"I never stopped, silly."
She sniffed and nodded, resting her head on his shoulder. "I know. But I thought you wouldn't believe me…you almost didn't tonight."
He chuckled. "Because I didn't want to be disappointed…again…"
"I know…I'm so sorry, Naruto."
They sat like that for a long time, both tired, both happy and both relieved. Part of it was still a big blur for him but for some reason, he believed every single part was real. And he knew she wasn't lying. He always knew.
After a while though, his usual, joker self came through.
"I knew you'd see the light one day, Sakura-chan."
Some habits die hard.
Sakura was silent for a moment, and he was almost afraid that he'd just blown it big time. But after a few tense seconds, she burst into fits of giggles and a few moments later, he joined in.
He finally had her.
He couldn't believe it.
And this was just the beginning.
"I'm glad I saw the light too," she laughed, lacing her fingers with his and making him grin lopsidedly. He'd never been able to do that with her. And he didn't realise just how strangely happy it would make him feel.
But a thought suddenly struck him and he was left a little lost.
"So…" he began with a small frown, "what happens now?"
Sakura paused and looked thoughtful.
She finally turned to him with a bright smile and shrugged.
"From now on, you surprise me."
He grinned.
"For Uzumaki Naruto, that's a piece of cake."
A/N: Well guys, just a bit of Sakura and Naruto fluff to keep me happy :) I hope you all liked this. It was also a story to write while working on my SasuHina fic. I need a break from pairings sometimes too okay, no matter how much of a die hard fan I am.
Now…REVIEW!!! :D And no flames please…
Peace out!
Rex