My Kingdom For a Horse
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling, WB, Scholastic etc. No money is being made by this. All rights reserved.
Summary: After an accident with their aunt's time turner, James and Albus Potter end up in a time and a place they never thought possible. Seeking refuge, they turn to the only woman who can possibly help them—the mysterious and powerful Rowena Ravenclaw.
Warnings: Time travel, swearing
A/N: I am very excited to presenting this to you. It's my first foray into the time travel genre, though certainly not my first multi-chap. I am posting so quickly after writing in order to push myself and in the hopes that you, the readers, will push me through when it comes to posting and updating. I have a great feeling about this. Please, come along with me and enjoy the ride. Also, this was originally written in response to the 'Hedwig, We're Not in Kansas Anymore' Challenge over on the HPFC Forums. This first chapter is mostly dialogue, but the story will move along, I promise.
...
Chapter One: Stuck in the Middle and Spinning Right Around
Listening to Hugo prattle on wasn't exactly at the top of my to-do list today. But alas, here we were, sitting in my Aunt Hermione's office as Hugo started flicking books off her shelf, wand at the ready.
"You'd better clean this up," I warned.
Hugo shook his head. "Two minutes work, max. I can't quite find what I'm looking for..."
"Ever occurred to you to actually ask your Mum, you twit?"
I didn't have to turn to know that voice. "Piss off, Jamie!" Hugo replied.
"Didn't realise Hufflepuffs knew that sort of language."
"What do you want, James?" I asked. I love my big brother, truly. He just happened to be annoying. Really annoying.
"Well, Albus, to tell you the truth, I was bored."
"Bored!" exploded Hugo, sending the desk drawers flying and random objects began to zoom across the room, particularly at James. "We're here violating Mum's personal office, risking life and limb or worse, Dad, and you...you're bored!"
"Nobody's at the shop, besides I left Lils there!"
"Are you mad?" I yelled. "Lily can't cope with all your nonsense!"
After leaving Hogwarts, James had promptly taken a year off. He had barely passed his NEWTs, only excelling in Care of Magical Creatures. Finally, after enough yelling from Mum, he and Fred had taken over the Hogsmeade WWW store. Well, Freddie took it over. James showed up occasionally.
"She'll be fine, Al. Merlin, what's up your arse today?"
Suddenly, a voice rang through the house. "I'm home! Hugo, Ron?"
All three of us froze. Hugo dropped the large book he was holding and it smashed against Aunt Hermione's desk.
"What's going on in there?"
"Shit!" swore Hugo as he frantically began stuffing the books back onto the shelf. I heard Aunt Hermione's footsteps get closer.
"Good luck mate!" James said, smirking, and grabbed my hand.
I heard a quick "You bastards!" but before I could reply, I felt myself being pulled through the air. We landed with a thud on what seemed to be my kitchen floor.
"What in the name of Merlin's pants is wrong with you?" I screamed at James. "Have you gone completely mental? What if the wards had held and you couldn't Apparate?"
James stood and yanked me to a standing position. "Good thing Uncle Ron still trusts us scheming Potters then, eh?"
I felt my face getting red. "You're supposed to be a Gryffindor. Running out on Hugo like that, that was- that was very Slytherin of you!"
James clutched his chest. "You wound my heart Albus Severus, the greatest Ravenclaw in all the lands!"
"Git."
Suddenly, my Floo began to spark and out stepped my parents. Just what I didn't need right now.
"Al, honey, I hope you don't mind us popping by...oh, Jamie! What are you doing here?" asked Mum.
James didn't reply but cracked open a butterbeer.
"Hi Mum, Dad," I said happily, kissing Mum's cheek and flicking her red hair from my face. Mum scrunched up her nose.
"I know they have you working ridiculous hours in that dungeon you call the Department of Mysteries, but really, Albus, you could have tidied up," she scolded.
"Leave him alone, Gin," Dad said, joining James in the kitchen.
"And you? What do you have to say for yourself?" Mum asked, directing her comments to James.
Sighing, I took to banishing my work to the desk that sat relatively unused in the corner of my flat. Dad remained quiet, as usual, and adjusted his glasses. He smirked at me as I did the same.
"I'm on a break, Mum," James said, as calmly as he could. "You need to chill."
"Chill?" Mum snapped.
"Come on, do we have to do this...?" Dad started.
"Harry, be quiet. James, I will 'chill', as you so kindly put it, when you finally decide to get your act together and quit mucking about! On a break? It's a Hogsmeade weekend Saturday and you're here on a break? Fred is on his honeymoon, who's looking after the shop?"
James actually had the decency to look a bit guilty. "Lily," he answered. Wrong answer, Jamie-boy.
"LILY!" Mum shrieked and Dad stood between them.
"Alright, Gin, leave it alone, he's going back now, aren't you?" Dad said calmly. I took in the scene in front of me. Mum was starting to sound every bit like Granny Weasley.
"I can speak for myself, Dad," James snapped.
"Oi, don't talk to Dad like that," I intervened.
"Be quiet, Albus!" Mum, Dad and James all shouted.
"You need to hurry up and decide what you're going to do for the rest of your life, James Potter," Mum started. "George has been very kind to let you help Fred run the Hogsmeade store but one day Fred will get older, have his own kids, and give the store to them. You're twenty five years old, James, you need to start thinking and acting like an adult!" Mum said, attempting to be calm.
"You and Dad need to back off!" James said, sending his butterbeer exploding on the counter. Undoubtedly, I would be cleaning it.
"James Sirius, you'd better think long and hard if you reckon you'll be getting away with speaking to your mother that way," Dad warned.
"How about the two of you start thinking long and hard about the way the pair of you speak to me? As you just so kindly pointed out, I'm an adult. I don't live with you anymore, I don't need your help!"
"We just want what's best for you!" Mum shouted back. "You can't keep living like this forever! Look at your cousin Rose. Successful career as a Healer; married and a baby on the way!"
"Bloody Malfoy," I muttered under my breath.
"Bully for Rose!" James snapped. "I'm glad she managed to figure out she wanted to pop out devil Malfoy spawn so soon but other than that, I couldn't really give a rat's arse about what everyone else is doing! Rose is a Healer, Freddie just got married, Rox just moved to France, Hugo and Al are finally in talks for whatever the bloody hell it is they do in the dungeons and Lily, well your precious Lily just got a matching tattoo with her bloody MUGGLE boyfriend!" James exploded.
Lils was going to kill him when she found out he had opened his big, fat gob to Mum and Dad. Mum's face was starting to turn the same shade as her hair, when Dad finally stepped in.
"ENOUGH!"
Everyone was quiet.
"James, your mother and I are only concerned about your well-being. We know that what you've been through these past few years hasn't been easy..."
"You reckon?"
Mum went to open her mouth but, mercifully, only glared.
"Shut it for a moment, will you Jamie? All we're saying is that you need to start getting your life back on track."
For a moment it looked like James might actually spontaneously combust. I actually felt sort of sorry for the git. Arguing with Mum and Dad had become so commonplace that he normally just expected it every time he saw them. And as usual, I got caught in the middle.
"Fuck this," James swore and grabbed his wand.
"James, don't," I said, eyeing Mum and Dad's shocked demeanour. He ignored me and with a crack, Apparated away.
"Why did you have to rile him up like that?" I asked them both. "He's trying at least!"
"He needs to learn, Al. It won't get any better if you keep helping him," Mum replied softly.
"It's hard for him, Mum. He's been doing loads better. Freddie even let him run the store," I offered.
"Is your sister really dating a Muggle?" Dad asked. I already had one sibling and a cousin pissed off at me, I didn't want to make it three for three.
"I'll go see if he's alright," I said, changing the subject.
"How do you know where he went?" Mum asked.
I smiled. "He's my big brother. I could find him anywhere," I answered honestly. I took out my own wand and with a crack, I Apparated to Hogsmeade.
...
James was exactly where I thought he'd be, lingering out the front of the shop. Thankfully, it didn't look too busy. I spied Lils behind the counter, talking animatedly with a customer. She didn't seem to mind being left to her own devices, at least for a little longer. James had lit a cigarette and I coughed as he blew the smoke in my face.
"Piss off!"
"Did they send you to collect me? Plan on Stunning me and dragging me back to Mummy and Daddy?"
I shook my head. "No, you prat. Dad asked me about Lily's boyfriend and unlike you, I kept my gob shut and did the next best thing. I ran away!" I answered proudly. James laughed.
"You're a better brother than I am, Al," he replied, shoving one hand into his pocket. I snatched his cigarette from him and took a drag.
"Nah, just the better looking brother," I quipped back, earning a gentle kick in the shins.
"Thanks," he said, awkwardly. "I know I must drive you mental. Not to mention Lils and Hugo are both going to kick my arse."
"Brothers are supposed to drive each other mental," I pointed out. "Besides, Hugo has Aunt Hermione wrapped around his little finger and its Lily's fault she decided to get a bloody ugly tattoo with her hippie Muggle boyfriend."
James laughed. "Touchè. At least the little snot has a boyfriend."
Ah, the dig at my love life. I'd been wondering when he'd take the chance.
"It's not my fault that women don't seem to find my often broken glasses and lack of lightning bolt scar attractive!"
James was the lucky one—he had only inherited Dad's hair. He and Lils looked much more Mum. Me? Unfortunately, for me, I looked like Dad, through and through, down to the shitty eyesight. Most people were expecting Harry Potter when they looked at me. 'Potter prowess', Rose had called it, after she yelled at another girl who had dumped me for being nothing at all like Dad.
"Prick," I added for good measure.
"Middle child," he retorted. I flicked the cigarette into the snow and watched as it fizzled out. "Oi, what were you and Hugo looking for?"
"Huh?"
"Earlier, in Aunt Hermione's office?"
Oh right.
"Don't go blabbing, now," I warned him.
He extended his pinky finger. "As Lils would say, pinky promise!"
I ignored his finger. "Hugo won the contract to start working on the new batch of Ministry-issue Time Turners."
James whistled in appreciation. "And who said Hufflepuffs weren't smart?"
"Reckon it was probably you, git. Anyway, Hugo wanted to change the design from the last ones. Something about making it a bit less stuffy and bit more 'Weasley'. Idiot. Anyway, we were looking for Aunt Hermione's. You know the rest."
James suddenly looked as if he were about to explode. "Did you find it?"
I shook my head. "Hugo thought she'd hidden it behind her books. We weren't having much luck when you so kindly interrupted us."
"Why'd he reckon she put it there?"
"Search me. Aunt Hermione isn't the type who's gonna leave her effing time turner out so any idiot can nick it, is she?"
James carefully took his hand out of his pocket. "How about shoving it into a drawer?" He grinned, showing me the time turner. "It came flying at me when Hugo got angry."
"Bloody hell, Jamie! Hugo won't be able to decide if he should deck you or kiss you!"
"Bloody hope it's the former with those choices," he replied, dryly. He squinted, trying to read the engraving. "By decree of the Ministry of Magic, only to be used by Hermione Weasley."
"Not surprising. Not like we wanted to use it, just look at it," I said, getting closer to look at the precious artefact. James untangled the chain and put it over his head.
"Not funny, Jamie. Take it off," I warned, trying to wrench it out of his hands. Bonding moments aside, James had proven himself to be a giant arse for the majority of the day. Mucking about with time turners wasn't such a good idea.
"Big enough for two, Al!" he said happily, forcefully putting the chain over my head. "Feels weird, doesn't it?"
"I'm serious, we can't fuck around with this. The results could be..."
"Catastrophic, I know. I was there for that lecture too."
I finally tugged the time turne out of James's hands. It was quite beautiful, for a device that could weave through the fabric of time. I'd never touched one before, only seen pictures.
"Oi, what does this do?" James asked. I froze. Before I could open my mouth to tell him to stop or pull the time turner away from him, his fingers spun the dials.
Suddenly, the world around us began to spin.