Hey guys! This fic is based off of the song Whiskey Lullaby by Brad Paisley and Allison Kraus. The lyrics are in bold. I changed some of the pronouns from he to she to better fit the story. If you haven't heard the song, you should listen to it!
Anyway, this may be a little out of character for our ladies, but I really wanted to write something with the song.
Reviews are appreciated- this was written in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep, so be easy on me!
Disclaimer- I don't own anything.
*Trigger warning- this story deals with suicide, please be aware of that before you read!
On to the story!
Jane sits on her kitchen floor, bottle of beer in her hand. She blinks back tears as memories flood her brain.
As soon as Jane walked into the morgue that day, she knew something had changed. The way Maura spoke, the way she carried herself. The way she looked at Jane.
"Ian's back", she finally said. "He's back for good".
Jane stood there, not knowing what to say. She wanted to tell Maura that she loved her and that she always had. Instead, she sighed. "What's going to happen?"
Maura looked up at her. "We're getting married, Jane."
The months flew by. Jane tried to be as supportive as she could be, but always at a distance. She faked a smile when Maura showed her the dress she picked, and listened to all of the details coming together. And she cried every night, alone in her apartment. Jane wanted to say something to Maura, to tell her how she felt about her, but she couldn't. Maura was so happy. She was marrying the love of her life.
She threw the empty bottle against the wall and it shattered. Tomorrow is the day Maura would become Mrs. Ian Faulkner. With this sudden realization, Jane picked herself up off the floor and made her way outside. She called a cab, realizing she was in no condition to drive, and gave him Maura's address. She leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath.
Jane reached out her hand and knocked on the door. Maura answered, looking flawless as always.
"Hey, Jane. Come in!"
"Where's Ian?"
"He's out with some friends. Apparently it's bad luck to stay together the night before your wedding". Maura rolled her eyes. She was never one to believe in those silly things.
They sat on the couch and Jane suddenly felt extremely nervous.
Maura noticed the change in Jane, and she put her hand over Jane's. "Jane, what's wrong?"
It's now or never.
"Maura", she whispered. She didn't know how to continue. She looked at their linked hands in her lap. "Maur… I don't know how to say this. But you have to know." She looked up, and her eyes found Maura's. "I love you, Maura Isles. I have loved you for so long. I know-"
Jane's sentence is interrupted as Maura dropped her hand and got up from the couch.
"Maura?" Jane is so taken aback that Maura's name is barely audible.
"I'm getting married tomorrow!" Maura spun around and looked at Jane.
"I know, Maura. I know. But I had to tell you."
"No, Jane! You can't do this! I have finally gotten over you. The day you walked into the morgue wearing a ring from Casey, it broke me. My heart shattered into a million pieces when I realized that I could never have you. When I realized that you would never love me like you loved him. I spent months putting myself back together, and building up my walls. I worked so hard to get over you, Jane."
Maura paused briefly, wiping away a tear that had fallen, before whispering, "I'm getting married tomorrow."
Jane stood up and grabbed Maura's hands. "Maura, please. I love you", Jane pleaded, tears streaming down her face.
Jane tried to look at Maura, but Maura turned away. "And I love Ian".
We watched her drink her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get her off her mind
Until the night…
Jane couldn't remember leaving Maura's. She didn't know how she got home. She sat there, against her door, a bottle of whiskey in her hand. She let out a sob that she had been holding back. She replayed the conversation in her head. Maura had gotten over her, she had moved on and she was happy. Jane's heart broke. The world shattered around Jane. She knew she had lost Maura. Jane took another sip of whiskey. And another. And another. She drank until she was numb.
Maura paced back and forth in her kitchen. She still loved Jane; there was no denying it. She would always love Jane. But she hadn't lied when she said she loved Ian. Marrying Ian was the right thing to do. She was happy. She was getting married tomorrow. Maura spent the next few hours repeating those facts in a quiet whisper. I love Ian. He makes me happy. I am getting married tomorrow.
Maura woke up to the sound of her phone ringing. She glanced at the clock. 3 a.m. She reached for her phone, and glanced at the caller ID. Why is the office calling? Tomorrow is my wedding day; I have the next two weeks off. Thinking they called her by mistake, she hit the ignore button. Two minutes later, her phone rang again.
"Isles"
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
With a note that said I'll love her till I die
And when we buried her beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
Maura rushed to Jane's apartment. Korsak didn't give her any details, but she knew that something was wrong. Seriously wrong. As she pulled up, she sees the place surrounded by cop cars. She ran up the stairs, and stopped in the doorway. She sank to the floor at the sight in front of her.
Jane is lying in a pool of blood, gun in hand. There are empty bottles tossed all over the floor. There is shattered glass in one corner.
Maura made it over to Jane's lifeless body, and pulled Jane close. Maura broke down. She sobbed so hard that she shook. She couldn't breathe. She clutched Jane, desperately hoping to feel a pulse. She searched for any sign of life. "Jane, I love you. I love you so much."
Maura felt someone pulling her off of the floor. Frankie wrapped her in a hug, and they stood there together, crying. Maura's broken heart shattered into a million pieces as she heard Angela run through the door and scream at the sight in front of her.
The wedding didn't happen. Maura stayed in her bed, but she didn't sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she was right back in Jane's apartment, looking at the lifeless body of the only person she ever really loved.
Two days later, Maura opened the letter they found at the scene. Tears started to fall as soon as she saw Jane's scribbled and unorganized handwriting covering the page.
My dearest Maura,
If you believe anything, please believe that this wasn't your fault. Don't blame yourself, Maura. Please.
I am so sorry that it came to this. But I can't live without you. I know that I waited too long to tell you how I felt, Maur. And that is my fault. I love you, and I have always loved you.
All I want is for you to be happy, Maur. Marry Ian. Have babies. Live the best life you can. He loves you, Maura. And you deserve everything he can offer.
You are extraordinary, Maura Isles.
All my love, always
Jane
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get her off her mind
Until the night…
The only day Maura left her house was for Jane's funeral. She had disconnected herself from anything and everything. She quit her job, stopped answering her phone. She pushed away everyone who cared about her; she didn't want to hurt them anymore than she already had. Maura drank more and more each day. It was the only way she could drown out Jane's voice, telling her how much she loved her. With each drink, she slowly washed away the images of Jane- at least for a few minutes.
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to her picture for dear life
We laid her next to her beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
It was Frankie who found Maura lying lifeless in her office. She had washed down a handful of pills with a bottle of vodka. As he studied her face, he noticed that she was finally at peace after three months of agonizing over Jane's death. In her hand was an old picture of Jane and herself, sitting together at the Dirty Robber. Neither was looking at the camera- they were both focused on each other. Frankie wiped a tear away as he gently kissed Maura's forehead.
Maura was laid to rest right next to Jane, to spend eternity with the love of her life.
-Thanks for reading guys! Sorry for any mistakes that are in here. Please leave a review!