A/N: A drabble that evolved into a short one-shot. Let me know if you like and I might add more chapters. I like the idea of Emma and Regina pretending to be a couple to fuck with everyone.
"Oh, come off it, Emma!" Ruby rolled her eyes. "I know you're hittin' that! Everyone in town knows it."
Emma was floored. Surely Ruby was joking. "What the hell are you talking about?! Where is this coming from? I am not 'hitting' anything. Except maybe the sauce if you keep this up."
"You're trying to tell me that you and Regina aren't doing the dirty? The horizontal tango? Bumping pelvises?"
"Will you keep for voice down, for fuck's sake?! Oh, my God." Emma glanced quickly around the diner, but luckily no one seemed to be paying them any attention.
"Oh, please, it's not a secret! I told you everyone knows." Rudy braced her hands on the table and leaned in closer. "Come on, Emma, you can tell me. She's a top, right? I mean, she has to be."
"Oh, my God! I have no idea!" Emma hid her flushed face in her hands. "Can we please stop talking about this?"
"Uh huh, sure. I'll let it go. For now." Rudy greeted a customer who had entered the diner. Turning back to Emma, she fired a parting shot. "But you're blushing an awful lot for someone who isn't hiding something." She spun on her heel and flounced off toward the new customer.
No shit she was blushing, but not because she was sleeping with Regina. She was blushing because she wished she were. Wished it, dreamed about it, fantasized about it. But there was no way it would ever happen. Her and Regina? Yeah, right. That would work out just great. The woman was only just beginning to be able to tolerate her, and there was the small matter of her history with Snow and David.
Emma jumped and squeaked when someone slid into the booth across from her. Lifting her head from her hands, she opened her eyes to find Regina wearing a quizzical expression.
"Are you alright, Miss Swan?"
"For the millionth time, it's Emma, not Miss Swan, and yes, I'm fine." She picked up her menu to hid her still-flaming face from Regina. "Let's order, shall we?"
A hand curled over the top of the menu and pushed it down until Emma finally locked eyes with Regina.
"You need a menu to order the grilled cheese you eat almost every day? What's going on?" Regina glanced around the diner. "And why is everyone staring at us?"
Emma slapped the menu down. "It seems there's a rumor."
"There always is, dear. Care to share why this one has you all riled up?"
"It's about you." Emma couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.
Regina sat back in the booth and folded her arms, eyebrows raised. "It almost always is. I'll ask again: what is the big deal?"
Emma looked everywhere but at Regina. "It's about me, too."
"Ah. I see. Now we're getting somewhere. Care to tell me the specifics of this rumor about you and me?"
"Um, well . . . for some reason, and I have no idea how it happened, but for some reason, everyone in town seems to think that we're . . . that you and I . . . ahem . . . " Emma twisted her hands together under the table. It shouldn't have been a big deal to tell Regina about the rumor, but for some reason it made Emma extremely anxious.
"For God's sake, Miss Swan, spit it out!"
"They think we're sleeping together." Emma ducked her head, waiting for the outrage. What she heard instead shocked the hell out of her and brought her head jerking back up. Regina was laughing, full-on, head-flung-back belly laughs. Emma didn't know whether to be relieved or offended.
"Are you finished? Because I don't think it's funny." Emma huffed and slumped down in her seat.
"Oh, lighten up, Emma. You think you're the first person I've been rumored to be sleeping with? According to these people I've slept with just about everyone in the realms besides Snow. Don't take it personally."
"Well, I'm not used to it, so excuse me for being uncomfortable." She was a bit miffed that Regina thought the idea was so humorous.
"The longer you live in this town, the more rumors you'll hear about yourself. Best to develop a thick skin, dear. Look, why don't we get our lunch to go and get out of here?" Regina signaled to Ruby and ordered their usuals. When they were ready and boxed up, the women headed out of the diner and walked toward the pier.
As they walked, Emma felt eyes on them from every side. Now that she was aware that they were the talk of the town, she swore everyone was staring. Glancing over at Regina, she could see that the other woman was beginning to get agitated.
"This is ridiculous. Don't these people have anything better to do?" Suddenly Regina stopped, seemingly frozen in the middle of the sidewalk. Emma watched a sly grin spread across her face.
"I know that look. What are you planning, Regina?" Emma couldn't help taking a small step back. That look rarely meant anything good.
Regina reached for Emma's lunch and sat it down on the window sill of a nearby building. "Do you want to really give these people something to talk about?" She advanced on Emma, who took another step back, but found herself against the side of the building.
She swallowed thickly. "Um, well, I guess that depends on what you have in mind."
Regina turned her head from side to side, then reached her hands out and rested them on Emma's shoulders. "Just go with it, Miss Swan."
Even if she had wanted to protest, she didn't have the chance before Regina lowered her mouth to hers. Emma's eyes opened wide at the first touch of their lips and she grabbed onto Regina's jacket to steady herself. When her brain finally registered what was happening, she closed her eyes and held on for dear life. Regina sucked Emma's bottom lip between her own, sucking lightly and running her tongue over it before nibbling gently. Emma mouth opened on a quiet moan and Regina's tongue dipped inside, flicking lightly over the edge of her teeth. Emma's own tongue met Regina's, slipping, sliding, and teasing before drawing it in fully and sucking. Regina gasped and broke the kiss, pushing Emma to arms-length but still holding on to her shoulders.
Emma's eyes slowly fluttered open. "Wow."
"Yes. Well. Ahem. I think that did the trick." Regina looked at her hands as if only just noticing that she was still touching Emma. She withdrew them and bent to pick up their food. "We should hurry up and eat. I'm sure you need to be back at work soon." Not looking back to see if Emma was following, she walked quickly to the water.
Emma followed at a slower pace. Her brain didn't seem to be working quite right, not to mention her shaky legs. What had just happened? Regina had just kissed her. In the middle of the street. But it was a joke, right? At that moment, she decided she didn't care. Regina was her friend, and that was more than she could have hoped for just a short while ago. And if she never kissed her again, at least she would have the memory.
She caught up to Regina and sat next to her on the bench, accepting the food she was handed. She turned to the other woman and flashed her a cheeky grin. "So, how long have you wanted to kiss me?"
"Shut up and eat your lunch, Miss Swan." Emma could have sworn she saw a light blush on Regina's cheeks.