Looking out over the water Sam let out a slow breath, watching the waves crashing into each other. Shifting a little in the sand, he brought his knees up and rested his arms on them, resting his chin on top of them. A few gulls cawed over head as they swirled looking for something to eat. It was starting to get a little dark so the air coming off the water was a little chilly, not that Sam was really feeling it. He had to much on his mind.

It was all over, they had killed yellow eyes and the three of them made it out alive and Sam should be celebrating. However, seeing what he saw was defiantly something to make the celebrating chill out for a while.

They had gotten back to the motel and Sam had headed to his and Deans room to take a shower and change. Dean told him he would follow him in a little bit, he wanted to talk something over with John for a bit. Sam had nodded and said sure and headed a few doors down, while John and Dean went into Johns room. When he got into the room, he went to the bathroom and when he tried to flush the toilet it didn't do anything. With a groan he tried the shower and found it did nothing as well. Heading out he thought about just lying down, but he felt more than a little gross, so he decided to see if the water in Johns room was working. Leaving the room he made his way back to their dads room, trying to handle first to see if it was still unlocked or not. Finding that it was he opened the door and went to call out when he got stopped in his tracks. John had Dean pressed against the wall, both of them were shirt less, their lips were pressed hard together. A squeak must have come out of him because two seconds later both of them were looking at him, both of their faces showing confusion and a small hint of fear. He wasn't sure quite who to look at, before he slowly turned and closed the door behind him with a soft click. A weird feeling settled around his chest as he let go of the door handle and started walking away from the room. He wasn't sure if either of them had tried to come out and call out to him, he was to wrapped up in his own mind. Sam wasn't sure how long he had been walking, but soon found himself on a little beach that was thankfully deserted. Sinking down in the sand he tried to get his thoughts in order but they were just to mixed up.

So Dean and their dad were in some sort of a relationship, that much was sure. Even if Dean did hang on their dads every word, he wouldn't let something like that go on with out a fight. How long had it been going on? Was Dean just flirting with all those girls to hide what was going on?

Letting out another sigh, he leaned back in the sand, watching the clouds passing above him in the dimming light. What did this mean now that he knew? He had a feeling that they wouldn't end it, but would Dean leave him to hunt on his own? Before he had said that he was going to go back to school, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Hunting was in his blood and he was damn good at doing it, so why try and pretend he wasn't. So he had decided to stay and hunt, but would he want to do it all on his own?

Rubbing at his eyes he could feel a headache starting to form and he knew he wasn't going to get all the answers from his own brain. There was one thing he did know though, that he needed to figure out how he felt before going back to the motel.

He always was pretty open minded, but being ok with his father and brother in a relationship, especially a sexual one? Was he ok with that?

They were the only real family they had left, he looked up some of their family tree and knew that some of his cousins were hunters, but that isn't close family. Not like Dean was to him. Could he really hurt Dean by telling him he wasn't ok with it, or would it be a lie if he told him he was ok with it and wasn't? Was he?

Taking another deep breath he let it out slowly and ran everything over in his head. He would always love Dean like a brother no matter what and he always said he would love him no matter who he was dating. It being their father is something else though, but not being ok means really losing both of them. Being without Dean in his life for those 4 years were hard enough and not knowing where their dad was, nearly killed him. Sure they didn't get along all that great, but that didn't mean he didn't still love his dad.

Nodding to himself he decided he was going to be ok with it, sure it might take him a bit to get used to seeing then doing anything. That would be a hurdle to jump over when they got to it however. Sitting up, he got up and stretched and cleaned the sand off the butt of his jeans before heading in the direction of the motel.

It took more time then he thought to get back to the motel, he must have been more out of it then he really thought. Getting to the doors, he wasn't sure what room to really go to, deciding on his and Deans since he would rather try to talk to Dean alone first. Getting to the door, he pressed his ear against the wood trying to hear if Dean was in the room, but he couldn't tell. Opening the door, his heart started to hurt as he saw Dean on the bed. The elder was sitting on the edge of his bed with his face in his hands, his shoulder shaking and Sam could hear small sobs. Closing the door behind him, Dean didn't even bother to look up from his hands.

"He hates us, he hates ME dad" Dean said miserably.

Sams heart hurt even more and realized that Dean thought it was John, either coming to check on him or whatever. Walking over to the beds he sat down opposite of Dean on his own bed.

"And don't tell me other wise, you saw the look on his face"

"Would it make a difference if I told you otherwise?" Sam said softly and could almost head Deans neck crack with how fast he looked up.

"Sammy" Dean said, his bottom lip shaking.

"That's my name isn't it?"

"But, you.. you're back"

"I am"

"But you, you left and have been gone for hours" Dean said, the tears still falling down his face.

"It was a bit of a shock you know" Sam said, letting out a little huff of air.

"Why, why did you come back there so soon any way?"

"The shower wasn't working, so I figured I would see if it was the whole motel or just our room"

"And, and now you're back and going to leave again and never come back and hate me forever and"

"Dean" Sam said loudly, making him snap his mouth shut.

"What?" He said in a soft whimper.

"I'm not going to leave"

"You're not?" He asked and Sam could see him trying to fight the hope that was trying to bubble into his eyes.

"No, I'm not"

"But"

"It was a shock and I'm still not sure how long it will be before I can see you two do anything together, but I can't lose you" Sam said softly, his heart hurting even more as a fresh round a tears started flowing.

"You're not messing with me are you Sammy? I couldn't take it, if you were just saying this to get me to calm down and then you do leave, I just" More tears started falling faster.

Feeling a few of his own tears starting to fall he slid to his knees and knee-walked between Deans legs, pulling him into a tight hug. He could feel Dean tense up a little before he wrapped his arms nearly choking around Sams neck, burying his face into the taller males neck.

"I promise you I'm not messing with you, I couldn't do that to you Dean" Sam rumbled softly into his ear, holding Dean tight with one arm, the other rubbing up and down his back.

"Are you absolutely sure Sammy?" Dean sobbed against his neck.

"I'm 100 percent sure, you mean to much to me De for me to just leave with out ever hearing from you again"

He could tell that Dean tried to say something else, but just ended up crying more and holding him tighter.

"Shhh, it's going to be ok Dean, you can calm down" Sam soothed in his ear, Dean hiccuping a few times.

"Don't wanna"

"Why not?"

"Because?"

He heard Dean let out a little sniffle and mumble something against his neck.

"What?" Sam asked gently.

"Because, holding you means you can't go away" Dean said a little louder.

Sam felt a few more tears slip down his face and he held onto Deans waist a little tighter.

"If it proves I'm not going anywhere, you can hold me as long as you want" Sam whispered, giving a small kiss to Deans temple.

"Thank you" Dean hiccuped out.

Sam lost track of how long he was kneeling there, just letting Dean hold him and cry into his neck, long enough for his knees to hurt like a bitch and then some. Eventually he got Dean to let him go long enough to get their shoes and socks off and to lay on the bed before he was pulled to Dean again. For the first time in a long time they slept in the Sam bed, Dean crying himself to sleep, arms still locked tight around Sam.

At one point as he was lying there, John came in, a few different emotions flickering over his face. When he opened his mouth to say something, Sam put a finger up to his lips is a 'shh' motion, then pointed to Dean. Mouthing the words 'we'll talk tomorrow, ok?', John nodded at him. Sharing a little smile John came over and ran his fingers though Deans hair once, before nodding to Sam and heading out of the room again. Sam let out a slow breath and let his eyes slip shut as Dean snuggled even closer to him.

Sure there were still a million things to be discussed, but right now, being there to comfort Dean was enough for right now.