Mr. Darcy Fever

By Alice Pyke

I own nothing and I am not making any profit.

Authors Note: Plot Bunny, wouldn't go away, you know the drill.

In Pride and the Prejudice, Elizabeth Bennet falls for Mr. Darcy. This has caused a wide-spread epidemic of what I like to call, Mr. Darcy Fever.

Symptoms include falling for your worst enemy, getting jelly-kneed whenever he's around and making an absolute fool of yourself while not insulting him like normal.

There is no known cure for Mr. Darcy Fever. Research has shown that there may not even be a cure.

All this didn't matter to me until I fell for my Mr. Darcy, Harry Potter.

I strolled down the corridor, so sure of myself, so pompous and confident.

However, my world stopped when Potter walked around the corner. My heart skipped a few beats while my knees threatened to give out.

I gasped.

Potter looked over at me. "Malfoy," he snarled.

I audibly gulped. The obvious contempt in his eyes was enough to snap me out of my trance.

I acted cool as I said, "Potter." My voice contained the un-asked question, "What the bloody hell do you want."

Harry scowled. He hadn't expected me to be as calm as I was pretending to be.

"What spell did you use on Hermione?" I laughed. I had used the Impersonaso spell on her. It caused an uncontrollable urge to impersonate people. I cast during potions, and Granger had promptly stood up on her table and impersonated the "ugly, greasy slimeball" that is Snape. The only thing more amusing than Granger ranting about being unclean in a man's voice is Granger getting three weeks detention.

"Just a little thing I dug up in the library." I smiled serenely in Potter's direction.

I wasn't expecting Potter to pounce on me. "Tell me what spell you used before Hermione gets any more detentions, or so help me, I will find a worse spell to cast on you!"

I blinked and pushed him off of me. "How much do you want it Potter?"

"Excuse me?" He blinked, startled.

"I said, How. Much. Do. You. Want. It? What's it worth to you Potter?" He regarded me warily.

"Depends on what you want in return for your information." I smiled wryly.

"Not much."

"How much is not much Malfoy? You have to be specific, I can't understand your riddles and I will not fall into a trap."

"I can't tell you, it would ruin the surprise. But I give you my word as a Malfoy I will not lure you into a trap or renege on my part of the deal."

Harry looked thoughtful for a second.

"Okay, Malfoy. What spell was it and what do you want from me?"

I closed my eyes and moved closer. I leaned into Potter's ear and whispered "Impersonaso." I moved my lips over his softly and pulled back.

"See, no trap." Harry gaped like a fish.

"Goodnight, Harry."

It was times like these I thanked God for Jane Austen and Mr. Darcy Fever.