Till Death Do Us…
Anime: Bleach
Written By: Ryu-Takehshi
Ichigo scratched the back of his head awkwardly; family gatherings weren't ever his forte, since they, y'know, involved the rest of his family. Well, he loved his sisters, obviously, but if he couldn't even handle his dad, what made him think he could handle the rest. In fact, Ichigo could definitely attest to the fact that family gatherings only made him appreciate his sisters so much more.
And today's event was especially awkward: a wedding ceremony for one of his mom's cousins.
Ichigo never particularly liked weddings. Yeah, in a way he thought they were sweet or whatever, but that was as far as his feelings went on the topic. His ill-will towards the ceremony mostly stemmed from the fact that all of the dead relatives of the bride and groom decided to sit in (unseen, of course), and chat or cry to their dead-hearts' delight – since no one could hear them anyway. But Ichigo could hear them. He could get annoyed by them, and apathetically refuse to sympathize for them every single time.
That is, he could before. Now that his shinigami powers had disappeared, he found the biggest difference being the eerie, almost lonesome, silence that followed. There weren't any random ghosts, as far as he knew, floating through his house and venting their heartbreaking life story to him. There weren't any hollow calls, threats of impending danger, or a little midget kicking him from behind and…
No, wait… forget he mentioned that last part.
He refused to think about her, refused to think about anything pertaining to that world. He was just a normal teen again, something he wanted all along, right? He would see that world (and her, maybe,) when, and only when, some sort of force finally ends his life.
Not that he was looking forward to dying or anything. No, Ichigo wasn't like that.
For now, he thought, let's try and stay in the here and now. He was going to a wedding, would probably have to endure all of his relatives commenting on how tall he was, or asking how he was doing in school, and that was that.
But maybe it wouldn't be as bad as the other times, he noted, I can't hear any souls anymore… so even if they're there, it's nobody's business.
He glanced to his sister Karin, who was sporting an even larger scowl than usual. And it could've been due to the fact that she was wearing a dress she clearly did not want to be in, but Ichigo had a better guess and muttered a silent "sorry" to the air around her; he knew what she was going through.
As all the guests promptly arrived and sat themselves, the ceremony finally began. Ichigo, along with everyone else, watched as the pretty bride walked up the aisle and towards the man waiting for her at the altar; but as soon as they started talking, Ichigo's mind drifted in and out of the states of boredom and mind-numbing insanity; which was a trip he often had to take these days.
He admitted, perhaps he missed the comfort of always having someone with him, just a little. Seeing ghosts had always been somewhat of his little secret; something that he saw, that no one else could, and made him unique. He constantly had someone with him, to laugh with, talk with, argue with, smile with…
A silhouette of a familiar raven-hairstyle flashed through his mind.
Rukia…
A feeling, seemingly out of nowhere, prompted him to snap back into reality just long enough to hear the priest's words:
"…till death do you part…?"
It made him stop for a moment; till death parts them? It meant that they'd be together forever, but the death of one of them would ultimately break them apart.
Obviously, no one in the congregation (save him, his dad, and possibly Karin), would think of it this way, but Ichigo knew, death was definitely not the end. Souls never really die and love, as far as a teenage boy's understanding of it went, never ended – even after physical death. But everyone on earth - oblivious to this knowledge - would hear these words, live their lives, and end up loving and losing to death; this thought gave Ichigo a weird feeling his stomach.
That doesn't apply to me. A part of him argued: I'm still different.
The rest of his mind, however, wondered: why was he even thinking about this? He, and millions of other people around the world, had heard these words time in and time out, so what made today different? What, he wondered, had changed?
That singular part of his mind had the answer: this was the first time he had heard them after losing his powers… after losing Rukia…
What a crazy thought, he mentally exclaimed. Had he personified the different parts of his mind, they would all be gaping blankly at that one random thought process.
The answer was too simple, too easy, too… too… completely against the whole 'denial-thing' he was working on! He had avoided thinking about her for seventeen months, seventeen for God's sake! Why did it have to come up now? He couldn't believe he was under mutiny by his own mind.
This thought followed him well through the end of the ceremony, and into the reception party; and left him sitting at his table, staring into his glass of soda.
He didn't even notice one of his relatives pull up a chair across from him and begin to inquire:
"Something the matter, Ichigo…?"
He blinked, looking up to meet gazes with an elderly man he had never seen before; probably just some friend or relative that had only met him when he was little, therefore leaving Ichigo with no recollection of him.
"Ahh Oji-san, I'm just tired…" he muttered, swirling his drink in his glass subconsciously.
"You sure it isn't girl trouble?"
Ichigo looked up at him with disbelief. Firstly, who just randomly asks that? Secondly, what kind of teenager talks about girl trouble to some geezer they'd never met before. Thirdly, did this guy really expect him to answer?
He looked straight at the old man's expectant expression and sighed. Apparently, he was expected to answer.
Scratching the back of his head again, he awkwardly formulated a sentence along the lines of: "Uhh… umm, sort of…"
The man could clearly sense his discomfort, as anyone with eyes could have, and offered a warm smile. "Sorry," he nodded, jutting a thumb in the direction of Ichigo's, currently drunk, father. "Your old man asked me to see if you were alright."
Ichigo rolled his eyes, vowing to severely injure his father later. Though, aside from any other homicidal thoughts he may have had, Ichigo concluded that this geezer was pretty cool.
Well, anyone who made fun of his dad was cool in Ichigo's book.
"And what did my old man tell you, exactly?" Ichigo laughed flatly.
"Just something about you missing a girl…"
That tears it; I'm killing dad when I get home.
"Have you got yourself a girl Ichigo?"
Damn it, don't say it! Ichigo ordered that little defiant part of his mind.
Don't say it!
Don't say it!
Don't say it!
"Yeah… I guess I've got one…"
DAMN IT‼
The boy sighed, "…but, I we're kind of over. We can't really, umm, see each other anymore, so…"
"But it looks like you've still got feelings for her, huh?"
"I… I guess so…"
"And she has feelings for you…"
Odd, Ichigo noted mentally, it seemed like more of a statement than a question.
"Y-yeah…" he answered nonetheless, "I guess she does…"
Ichigo honestly couldn't believe that in a matter of minutes, he had told this guy more than he has ever told anyone, even himself. What was up with that?
"Haven't you ever thought of moving on…?" the old man continued.
The words rang in Ichigo's head for a moment long enough to make him seriously think about them.
Move on…? Moving on was forgetting everything about Rukia and agreeing to forget everything that had happened between them, everything that had worked to bind the two together in a weave of friendship and… something else…
He didn't want that! He'd never want that!
Damn, he imagined the little personified defiant thought smiling smugly at the others. It was clear who had won.
Ichigo sighed again, his gaze resting on the bubbles in his drink as he muttered, "Y'know, I've never really thought of moving on at all…" He shook his head, dryly chuckling to himself, "And after today, I don't think I ever will. It's kinda stupid, huh…?" He looked up to see what kind of expression the man had, but he was suddenly nowhere to be seen.
He scanned the room and came up empty handed, slouching back into his seat in confusion about both the old man, and the strange conversation they had.
One way or another, Ichigo had ended up saying it, hadn't he?
He shook his head and sighed; Alright, you heard me Rukia… he said in his mind, as was his custom when he ever had something to say to the shinigami girl. I'm not giving up on you.
And finally, all of the pieces fell and fit together: To everyone in the world, the ending of their love was defined by death. "Till death do us part" meant that, when one of them physically dies, even if their souls are still in love, their time together ends.
But for us, it's different, isn't it Rukia? This saying doesn't apply to us; because, as the world waits for death to strike them apart, we'll be waiting for it to bring us together. I know you'd never want me to take my own life. No offence, but even if it could bring us together sooner, I wouldn't do it. It would hurt you, and me (obviously), and I'd never do that. If everyone else in the world waited a long time for death, then I guess we also have to.
With that in mind, Ichigo loosely held his, now flat, soda up and took a sip.
"To us, Rukia…" he muttered under his breath, "…Till death brings us together…"
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-
"Why'd you use a man's gegai?"
"Pshh, like I'd want Ichigo to open up his feelings to a girl?"
"So, technically, you're jealous of… yourself…?"
"Shut up."
"You're smiling…"
"Of course I am, idiot! Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, the plan didend up as a success…"
"Yeah… Cheers Ichigo, till death brings us together…"