Disclaimer: Not mine not mine not mine not mine not mine not mine.
A/N: My imagination is SO warped. Seriously. :P And I know Alien isn't actually that gross, but pretend it is for the sake of this fic, all right? Thanks. :D
Summary: After the Sycorax are defeated, Rose and the Doctor aren't allowed to swan off on another adventure right away. Jackie and Mickey feel that they should get the chance to know this new Doctor. What better way than a little time together and a gory movie?
Timeline: Takes place between The Christmas Invasion and New Earth.
Spoilers: The Christmas Invasion, and a really tiny hint about the Doctor's eating habits in the book The Feast of the Drowned. ;)
The Doctor reluctantly stepped back over the threshold of the Tyler residence, shoulders tensing as the door slammed closed behind him. The sound seemed very final and ominous. He glanced round the very domestic flat, itching to get back out in the fluffy white snow. Not that it was really snow, mind. But he wanted to get to the TARDIS nonetheless, not stand round in here with Jackie and Mickey-boy.
"You're going to be staying the night at least, aren't you? It's Christmas night!" Jackie hurried off into the kitchen, starting to do boring things such as tidying up the remains of Christmas dinner and putting the dirty dishes into the already overflowing sink.
Rose glanced over at him, smiling nervously. It was painfully obvious that she still wasn't quite sure what to think of this new regeneration. "Uh…I dunno, Mum!" she called back, a question lingering in her eyes as she looked at him.
The Doctor forced what passed for a reassuring grin onto his lips, hoping that it didn't come off as totally bonkers. The last thing he needed was for his companion to be afraid of him. "Sure, why not? I like staying in at night, me. When the alternative is seeing alien stars born in blazing infernos, battling slobbering monsters that are trying to kidnap screaming damsels in distress, and riding starships through thrashing storms in the Gradian Nebula, why leave your mum's flat?"
His eyes widened, and he clapped a hand over his traitorous lips. "Sorry. Er, I keep forgetting about this new gob of mine. Likes to smack. The teeth are good, though. Brilliant, even." He grinned just to show said teeth off.
Rose stifled a laugh. "'S all right," she told him sincerely. "We can, um, go. If you want to."
"Rose, no!" Mickey blurted. When everyone stared at him, he quickly said, "I mean…I don't think you should go just yet. He seems kind of…well…sorry, mate, but you're kind of mad."
The Doctor nodded speculatively, wondering if there was any chance of Rose liking mad blokes. "Mad is good. I like mad."
"Rose Marion Tyler, I want you stayin' in!" Jackie appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, both hands planted firmly on her hips. Something terrifying blazed in her dark eyes as she gazed at the Doctor. "Mickey an' I deserve the chance to get to know the bloke you're going to be running round time and space with, don't we?"
The Doctor slapped one hand over his face. Something that sounded vaguely like, "Domestic. So domestic!" made it through the hand obscuring his mouth.
"But, Mum!" Rose protested, cheeks blazing with embarrassment. "You've already met him! He's the same man! He's just gone and saved the whole world, and you still don't trust 'im? He's not just some nutter I've picked up off the street corner, now is he?"
Mickey eyed the Doctor suspiciously. "I dunno about that, Rose," he muttered, eyes narrowing.
"All right, all right!" The Doctor almost couldn't believe that he was saying such a thing, as everyone turned to stare at him. "We can go ahead and stay here tonight, Rose Tyler! Have a right little meet-and-greet, yeah? Discuss how we saved the human race yet again! Drink ginger tea! Eat countless bananas! Then…drink more ginger tea!" He clapped his hands, looking positively delighted.
Mickey's expression was uncomfortable. "I was thinking more along the lines of a movie, some chips," he said.
The Doctor's face fell. "Oh. Right. Er…sounds lovely," he replied with obvious disappointment.
Rose laughed. "Okay, then that's what we'll do," she said with determination. "We'll stay in tonight, and you and Mickey can see that the Doctor is a good enough bloke, Mum."
"Oi! Good enough? Good enough?" He wilted under Jackie's glare. "Right. Good enough, that's me."
Mickey checked his watch. "That film rental just down the street should still be open. I'll go see if they've got anything in."
Rose stared at him dubiously. "Mickey, please don't get something with a bunch of blokes sitting round talking about sex again, okay? I thought I was going to die of boredom during that last one."
Mikey blushed hotly, glancing furtively at the Doctor. "I wasn't gonna pick something like that!" he retorted, in a lame attempt to regain some respect. "You'll like it, Rose. Wait and see."
"Okay, whatever." She waved her hand flippantly. "You go get the movie, and the Doctor an' I will go get the chips, yeah?"
"What? Are you planning to go swannin' off and then come back hours later from some trip on the sly?" Mickey's expression indicated that he thought himself onto their little scheme.
"What? No!" Rose protested, indignantly folding her arms over her chest. "We're just gonna go to that little place down the street and pick up some chips. Then we'll be right back," she finished firmly.
"Ooooh, do they wrap their chips in newspaper? I think I'd like to try some of those. Used to like them that way. Maybe I still do. Who knows?" The Doctor grinned excitedly.
"You're utterly mad, you are." Jackie shook a wooden spoon at them from the doorway, choosing that moment to reenter the conversation. "I don't know how you'd manage to stand him, Rose."
"Oh, I think I'll manage." Rose grinned shyly over at the Time Lord, earning yet another grin. He seemed to have a countless supply of them.
"I'll be back," Mickey muttered sullenly, disappearing out the door and slamming it behind him.
"Blimey, I hate it when they say that! It's almost worse than…than…'there's nothing that could possibly go wrong!' What was he thinking? Well, if he was thinking at all. I'm not really sure at this point. But it's like inviting trouble to visit you! Almost as bad as inviting vampires into your house! Rose, have I taken you to meet any vampires yet?" he asked curiously. "Don't think I have. Or is my memory going?"
"Oh, so there's vampires now?" Jackie demanded shrilly. "I don't want my Rose getting her blood sucked out by one of those filthy leeches! If you even think about taking her to–"
"Okay, Mum, we're leaving!" Rose cut in, grabbing the Doctor by his sleeve and tugging him out the door. She pulled it firmly shut behind them, drowning out the rest of her mother's angry tirade. "You might not want to mention the vampires again, yeah?"
"Eh, you're probably right." The Doctor sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "So. Chips! With newspaper! Hopefully. There's nothing better than chips wrapped in newspaper. Or so I keep saying, anyway. Not really sure where the idea came from, truthfully…" He squinted into the distance. "Okay, enough jawing from me. Off we go, Rose Tyler!" He offered her an arm, which she tentatively took, and they strolled away together.
When Rose opened the door of her mum's flat, ushering the Doctor and his armload of steaming chips back inside, she found Mickey sitting on the sofa waiting for them, arms folded severely. Jackie peered in from the kitchen area as soon as she heard the door close. "What?" Rose asked defensively, good mood fading slightly.
The Doctor raised both eyebrows and rocked back on his heels. This situation really had the potential to get ugly. And he didn't really want to be killed by an angry mum with a kitchen carving knife not long into his new regeneration. This one certainly had potential, despite the gob.
"Well? Have fun on your little trip to Mars or the moon or whatever?" Mickey asked, eyes narrowing.
"I already told you, we didn't go anywhere. I promised we'd stay over tonight, so here we are." Rose spread her arms out wide, as though proving her sincerity. How the Doctor wished she wouldn't do that. Jackie and her knife looked very threatening.
"Don't be looking at me like that, missy. I didn't say a thing." Jackie disappeared into the kitchen again, then reappeared seconds later, minus the knife. "So what's this movie you've picked out, Mickey?" She settled herself onto one of the lumpy arm chairs, waiting expectantly.
Mickey gave the Doctor one last glare, as though trying to prove that he was the most manly figure in the flat, and walked over to the telly. "I got something I thought was…appropriate for the situation. From what I read on the back of the DVD, the main…character reminded me of…the Doctor," he said darkly, and not half melodramatically.
Rose gave an exasperated sigh, rolling her eyes. She flipped off the light switch, plunging the room into blackness, then walked over to the sofa and sat down in the middle. The Doctor thought this very smart. He didn't really want to chance sitting by Mickey Mouse, not in the dark living room. Especially not in the dark, where anything could happen.
He gave Jackie her chips, sadly not wrapped in newspaper, then gave two bags to Rose and kept one for himself. He sat down on her left side, tearing into the chips and staring eagerly at the television screen.
Mickey sat down on Rose's other side, not bothering to hide his open hostility as he took his bag of chips from her and grabbed the television remote. He pressed the correct button, and the telly flickered to life. The screen was black for a few seconds, then the main title menu came onto the screen.
Rose abruptly straightened. "Oh my God, Mickey! You got Alien?" she blurted out. She'd never watched the allegedly gory movie, having heard just how disgusting it was. She'd feared back in the old days that her stomach would rebel while watching. And she didn't have a clue how she would react now, after traveling with the Doctor for so long.
Mickey scowled at her, features flickering gruesomely in the light from the television as he pushed play. "Like I said earlier…the main character reminds me of your bloke." He took a savage bite from one of the chips, tearing his gaze from the so-far silent Time Lord.
The Doctor blinked once as the opening scenes of the movie began to play, showing a starship in obvious transdimensional hibernation. "Oh, so you're comparing me to Riley, then? I suppose she's the main character, since she's the only one who wasn't brutally killed. But I don't exactly know how I feel about being compared to a woman, and a human one at that. Or maybe you're referring to the cat, Jones. I found it highly unrealistic that the cat didn't die, after all the life-threatening situations it was involved in. Or maybe…" He paused, brow furrowing as an expression of realization dawned on his face. "Ohhhhhhh. You're comparing me to the patristic alien."
Jackie choked on a chip. "Parasitic alien? Mickey, are you bloody mad? This is Christmas night, and you've gone and picked a horror movie!" She uttered the final pair of words like one might say 'mucus' or even 'sewer system'.
Mickey didn't reply, what could be seen of his face appearing annoyed, and there were a few moments of silence as the four of them watched the beginning scenes of the movie.
"So you've seen this before, then?" Rose whispered into the Doctor's ear, as the newly-awakened crew on screen ate a meal and tried to figure out why they'd been awakened from stasis early.
"Yes, of course. Molto bene. I don't think I liked it very much back then – when I first watched it, that is – but now I seem to be enjoying it. Though why humans insist on exhibiting all aliens as being bloodthirsty and utterly mad is beyond me. Never mind that many of them are, like Plasmavores and Great Vampires and Daleks and Slitheen. Not Raxacoricofallapatorians, mind, just the Family Slitheen. A common mistake, but I hope you never make it, Rose. Since we've been there and done that already." He grinned at her.
There was a moment of silence, not including the sounds from the telly.
"Can we just watch the film, please?" Mickey finally ground out.
"Sure, fine. Go right ahead. Have it on me. The film, that is. It's fantastic, by the way. And I mean the film. Again. I think my favorite part is definitely maybe where the Alien's extremely corrosive acid blood, which actually kind of reminds me of the blood of the Gweendoniians, eats through the floor and very nearly–"
"Acid blood?" Jackie bellowed, looking faintly nauseated. "Should I be leaving the room?"
"I don't know," Mickey muttered irately. "I haven't even seen the first ten minutes of the movie, have I?"
Rose suppressed a giggle at the absurdity of her current situation, quickly eating a couple of chips to distract herself. She shot a glance at the Doctor, who seemed once again engrossed in what was being shown on the screen. She turned back to face the television, and soon found herself glued to the screen as well. The movie appealed to her quite a bit, as she had experienced firsthand the feeling of exploring new planets as those in the film were doing.
They all watched in silence as three crew members set off across the unlivable planet's surface, in search of whatever entity was sending off the signal their ship had picked up on. The Doctor didn't seem worried when Riley discovered that the supposed cry for help was actually a warning, or when Ash told her not to bother going after those who had gone out onto the planet. Rose, however, found herself clutching her bag of chips as though they contained the meaning of life. Jackie was abnormally noiseless, and Mickey was trying his best to look not to look even the slightest bit unnerved.
In fact, the Doctor was getting a bit bored with the whole thing. It was much too domestic for his tastes to have three humans pretending not to be scared while watching a silly movie sitting all round him. He was starting to feel a little claustrophobic, and began mentally naming every alien he had ever encountered in alphabetic order. In fact, the only thing that snapped him back into awareness was Rose's shriek of surprise and Jackie's sharp inhaling of breath.
Looking towards the telly, he observed the creature attached to one of the poor crew member Kane's face. He casually held a hand out, which Rose unhesitatingly took. He instantly regretted the gesture meant to give her comfort when her nails began digging brutally into the unprotected skin of his palm. He winced, shifting his position ever so slightly, and hoped she wouldn't draw blood before the movie was over.
A few more minutes passed. The only comment from any of them was a single "Oh my bloody God!" from Jackie when the Alien's apparent corpse surprised Riley in the medical bay, after having disattached itself from Kane.
The Doctor was actually surprised that he had gone so long without saying something, and silently promised himself three bananas whenever he and Rose finally got back to the TARDIS. The perfect reward, in his opinion. He would never understand why giving a banana as a gift was considered terribly rude on the planet Bexacoricoppa, though.
Not long passed before Kane awakened from his Alien-induced coma, and was taken off with the others to eat a last meal before being submerged back into stasis.
"Is this supposed to be scary?" Rose said this to Mickey, who had been staring fixedly forward until she spoke. "I mean, everyone is just sitting round talking so far. It's already been, what, forty minutes? I would have almost rather had you pick up that sex-talk one again."
"I thought all humans were interested in sex," the Doctor offered, not seeming to notice the way Rose's face started flaming. "Including you, Rose Tyler. I've seen you with those dirty magazines all round the TARDIS. Why you'd want to read about sex tips is beyond me, though. What about Book Seven? Good old J.K. hasn't quite finished it yet, but I'm thinking of heading forward a bit to pick it up. When we're done here, that is. If we ever are. Which is strange, because I didn't even like Harry Potter. Or I didn't used to. I do now, apparently. Blimey. Anyway, back to the sex magazines. What do you read them for, Rose?"
"Oh my God," she muttered under her breath, thinking sullenly that she liked his previous, close-lipped incarnation much better at the moment. "Doctor, it's nothing. They're just magazines. Besides, it's not like I've got anyone willing to practice on, now have I?"
Rose instantly regretted her words when the Doctor opened his mouth to enthusiastically reply. Jackie, seeing this, blurted out angrily, "Don't be gettin' any ideas, you! You're not havin' her, you hear me?"
The Doctor seemed awkward, rubbing the back of his neck. "Er…that's not what I was going to say, Jackie. I promise. Cross my hearts. Really and truly."
"Can we please get back to the movie?" Mickey was obviously trying his best to be polite and not throttle the Doctor, but it was a failing attempt.
A hush fell once more, up until the point where Kane exploded from the inside out, blood splattering the walls and the Alien wriggling free.
Mickey made a sound of disgust, making it clear that he hadn't quite known what this movie actually entailed. The Doctor stared, mouth slightly open, at the screen, and Rose hurriedly looked away.
"That's it! I'm off to bed, I am!" Jackie leapt to her feet, nearly spilling what remained of her chips to the carpet. "You lot are bonkers for watching this, especially at bloody night!" She vanished into her bedroom and slammed the door with a thunderous crash.
Rose smiled slightly. "Good night, Mum!"
"And then there were three," the Doctor deadpanned, twining his fingers together in his lap as he gazed at the telly.
Rose symbolically held up the remote and flipped off the television set. Once the dramatic theme music of the credits had vanished into nothingness, the sound of Mickey vomiting in the loo just down the hall became much more obvious.
"I hate to say this. Really, I do. But Mick-Mick-Mickedy-Mick is such a marshmallow. And I mean the ones from Selfornia Nine. Really gooey. And truly, I meant it from the bottom of my hearts, Rose. No harm intended." The Doctor reclined against the sofa, his expression totally satisfied, despite the domesticity of his present circumstances.
His current companion giggled, unable to stop herself, before clapping one hand over her mouth to stop herself. She and the Doctor stared at each other for several moments, then she removed the hand and said, "I still can't believe you're you, Doctor."
"Yep. Still me, Rose Tyler. Same me and a new face, that's all." He winked, waggling the fingers of the hand which he had regrown. "So what's the verdict? You gonna stay with me or not? 'Cause I don't think your boyfriend likes me that much, to be honest. Or your mum." He pulled a considering face. "Especially your mum."
"Yeah. Yeah, I think I will." Rose sounded breathless, and blushed as her too-eager words hung in the air between the pair of them.
"You will what?" The Doctor feigned mystification.
"Go with you, silly," she declared, rolling her eyes heavily at him.
He grinned widely, startling her when he leaped unexpectedly to his feet. "Right, then. Off we go, yeah! So many things to do, so many places to go. Blimey, I've got a long list of places for us to go! First to the year 2007, July. Talking about Book Seven earlier really makes me want to pick it up!"
Rose smiled shyly at him, and also stood. She glanced towards the bathroom, brow creasing slightly. "But what about, y'know, Mickey? I feel bad leaving him in there all alone," she told him worriedly.
"Trust me, you wouldn't feel bad once you got in there," the Doctor replied earnestly. "Besides, don't worry about him. We'll pick up a get-well gift from him when we pop back in. Though not very soon, of course. Don't think I could stand it. Anyway, we'll bring him some gooey marshmallows from Selfornia Nine, all right? How does that sound?"
She laughed, then looked down as he held out his hand again. Without more than two second's thought, she took it and followed him out of the apartment. The two of them were off for many adventures together, though their next trip to the flat would inevitably be much too soon for the Doctor's tastes.
There. I've officially got that idea off my mind. Cheers to any of you who suffered through reading the whole thing. Review? :) And by the way, raise your hand if you've see The Eleventh Hour yet! I thought it was actually pretty good, though David Tennant is still by far my favorite Doctor... :D