The Secret Origin of an Impossible Girl
She was having a nightmare again. The worst kind of nightmare imaginable to a nine-year-old girl. Clara was lost, and she hated being lost. Her fears were exploited in her dreams, and they were getting worse and worse. Almost every night, Clara would fall asleep and dream about being stuck, usually in a strange dark room or on a deserted beach. Each time she would try to find her way home, but each time, no matter where she went, she would end up back in the same place she began. Over and over again, Clara would cry out for someone to help her find her way, but no one would ever answer.
Tonight's nightmare was no different. She stood on a beach shore, seeing the coastline stretch on for miles, the only sound to be heard the slapping of the waves against the sand. She was frightened, as usual, and was just about to begin her futile trek back home when a golden light began to glow before her. It shimmered and shinned brighter than anything Clara had ever seen, until she could no longer bear to look at it. She shielded her eyes with the sleeves of her sweater, praying silently that the strange light would simply go away.
"Do not be afraid, little one. I will not harm you." A voice so light and soft rang through the air, like a song. Clara, unused to being accompanied by anyone in her dreams, cautiously lifted her gaze to find the source of the melodic voice.
Where the golden light had appeared now stood an ethereal young woman basked in its glow. She appeared to be floating, her gold blonde hair framing in wisps around her face and her honey brown eyes trained on Clara. Though her presence was imposing, she had a warm and gentle smile upon her face.
"Are you here to help me?" Clara asked the strange glowing woman. "I'm lost and I don't know where I am."
The woman chuckled softly. "That does seem to be the case, Clara Oswald."
Clara's eyebrows shot up at the mention of her name. "How do you know my name?"
"I know everyone's name." she answered mysteriously. The woman reached behind her back, pulling a small object out from nowhere and holding it out before her. "Do you know what this is, Clara?"
Clara smiled, recognizing the small brown maple leaf immediately. "That's mummy's leaf!" she answered excitedly. "Daddy says it's the most—"
"The most important leaf in human history." The woman finished Clara's sentence for her. "And he's right. This is the most important leaf in human history, because without it, there wouldn't be you." She leaned down close, placing the leaf in Clara's hand. Her eyes earnest and truthful as she spoke. "You, Clara Oswald, are a very special little girl."
Clara's expression turned to a mixture of confusion and surprise. "I am?"
The woman nodded, chuckling again. "Yes, child. Because you will grow up to be impossible."
Clara scoffed, obviously not believing what the woman told her. What was so special about being impossible? That didn't even make any sense.
"You may not understand right now, but don't worry…someday you will." The woman said, as if reading Clara's mind. She stood abruptly, offering the child her hand. "Would you like to get off this beach, Clara?" she looked at the barren terrain, scowling as she spoke. "Personally, I hate this place. Used to give me nightmares…or it will give me nightmares…can't remember which. Time travel, it's so confusing sometimes." She shook her head to clear it and turned back to Clara. "Shall we?"
Try as best she could, Clara did not understand a word of what the glowing woman had just said, so she answered with a question instead. "Where are we going?"
The glowing woman grabbed her hand. "I want to show you something…something awesome. Close your eyes Clara." She did as she was told, scrunching her eyes closed tightly. "Keep them closed until I tell you to open them." Minutes passed, Clara with her eyes still shut and not understanding how they were going to get off the beach if they weren't actually moving. It felt like they had been standing still for eternity and like no time had passed at all, all at once. "Open your eyes, Clara."
They had moved! Clara and the strange woman were no longer standing on a beach, but were in a circular room, the walls covered in round blue lights. In the center of the room stood a large column, the blue center rising up and down, surrounded by an octagonal console covered in strange looking buttons and switches. But Clara wasn't really paying attention to it. She was more focused on the man sitting on the staircase in the back and reading a book. His shoulders were slouched, his head hanging low above the book in his lap. He had dark brown hair flopped to one side and big, round glasses perched upon his nose.
"Who's that?" Clara asked, whispering so the man wouldn't hear her.
"He's my friend," the woman said with a wistful smile. "And one day, he'll be your friend as well."
The man payed no attention to them, taking no notice of their appearance. He continued reading silently, only moving when he had to flip a page. His expression was sour, a frown on his face with his eyebrows knitted.
Clara scowled. "He looks sad."
The woman nodded. "He is sad. He has just lost someone very dear to him. Two someones, actually." She turned her gaze to the topic of their conversation, her eyes filled with sorrow for only a brief moment. "Right now he is so lost in grief that he has shunned himself into the darkness, away from the rest of the world. He is alone." Once again, she kneeled beside Clara, looking her straight in the eyes. "No one should have to be alone, Clara. He needs someone to bring him out of the darkness. He needs someone…impossible."
"You said I would be impossible one day." Clara reminded.
"That's right, I did." The woman agreed. "And you will be. You see Clara, that man over there, my friend…he is unique in the universe. He is, and always will be, a very, very important man, but sometimes he forgets. Sometimes, he stops believing that the universe is so much better with him in it. Sometimes he needs to be reminded of that, to save him from the darkness." She cupped the little girl's face with her hand, making sure she had her full attention. "I want him safe. But I know I cannot always be with him. That is why I need your help. Will you help me Clara? Will you help him?"
Clara pondered the question for a moment. Her mother had always taught her to be kind to others, to treat them as she would want to be treated. One more glance at the sad man with the lonely eyes gave her an answer. "How? What Can I do?" she asked the glowing woman.
The woman's eyes softened as she smiled.
"That's simple: all you have to do is be you. You were made for this, Clara. You blew into this world on the most important leaf in human history and you're still blowing…blowing to him," the woman nodded toward the sad man. "It will not always be easy; gods know that man can be frustrating sometimes…but you must be patient with him, even when he goes grey. Especially when he goes grey." She laughed, as if sharing a joke that only she was privy to. Clara furrowed her eyebrows, confused.
"I don't understand. I'm just a little girl."
The woman laughed again, a more natural sound than the melodious ring from earlier. "So was I, once. Now look at me, saving the universe, all across time and space!" she stood to her full height, her eyes glowing a little brighter. "That includes you, Clara. You must save him, because you are already doing it, have already done it. Time is funny that way."
Clara shuffled her feet, picking at her nails unsurely. She was not frightened of the glowing woman; she seemed kind, noble even. But the way she spoke about her friend, the sad man, and the power held in her voice made Clara think that she would do anything to help him, good or bad. No, not frightened of the glowing woman, just what she was capable of doing.
"He must be very special to you." Clara said softly. She lifted her gaze back to the woman. The menacing glow in her eyes had diminished slightly, and a brief flicker of pain took its place.
"Yes, he was. He is. He's wonderful." She said. "And he deserves to be happy."
Clara nodded, understanding. "I'll help him. I'll bring him out of the darkness."
The child was resolute in her decision, and the woman couldn't help but laugh at Clara's tenacity. Her smile widened farther than Clara had seen yet. "Good. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Now let's get you home, Clara Oswald." She took Clara's hand and the pair were instantly transported back to Clara's bedroom. Clara immediately crawled into bed, pulling the covers to her chin, her mother's leaf still clutched in her small hand. The glowing woman chuckled, amused.
"Sleep well, Impossible Girl. Dream improbable dreams. When you wake, all this will be but a distant memory to guide you where you need to go."
Clara's eyes were already drooping with fatigue as she took one last look at the strange glowing woman. "Are you an angel?" she asked.
The woman sat at the foot of Clara's bed. She smiled softly as she tucked Clara in. "No, Love. I'm just a Wolf."
Before Clara could respond, the woman reached a hand to her temple, sending the young girl into a deep, undisturbed sleep. The woman smiled. Her job was finished. The Doctor was safe, would stay safe. Clara Oswald would see to that. A single tear ran down her cheek for the pain The Doctor would suffer through after the loss of his pink and yellow human, his Ponds, and so many others. But he was safe. And she would always make sure he would stay that way.
Forever.