I'm a new writer, and I'm open to criticism, but please don't be too harsh. I just felt that I needed to write something from Tophs perspective that explained this about her. I hope you like it! Thank you!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Duh.
Alone
They think of me as strong. They think of me as powerful. Brave. Smart talking. Blunt. Persuasive ( in my own ways.)And a bit rude, frankly. That is who I am. I am the one who is counted on for winning their fights, for keeping the place alive with my witty sayings, for amusement. But that's my shell. I am losing myself to myself inside, and no one knows. Why would I tell anyone? I am tough. I am independent. And that is what is tearing myself to shreds.
They cannot see me. They see only a shadow. They do not realize how I hide my feelings under a black cloak. I really, truly am all that they said I was, but, also, I am more. I am much more than a blunt, hard girl without feelings. I have feelings. They now always are hurt. Fighting is my only relief, knowing that others feel pain like me, too. But even if I win, I'm still sad.
As the years passed after the war, I felt even more depressed. When I saw Aang and Katara leaving on their dates, I felt lonely. When Zuko proposed to Mai, I felt lonely. When I watched the ceremonies at the wedding of Sokka and Suki, I felt lonely. And now, I feel even lonelier than ever. I'm being dragged along as a rusty third wheel. No use for me, I'm just skulking around, hoping that some one will think about me every once in a while. But no one cares about the little blind girl, do they?
I felt like a badger-mole that wasn't with earth. Separated. Not even my own parents cared. I knew I was different. And I felt it every day, when I opened my eyes and saw...nothing. Emptiness. Darkness. Pitch black. Nothing. Nada. Zip. My blindness may be a blessing to my skills and more, but it also has its disadvantages.
I can't read. I can't write. I cannot draw or paint. I will never see a butterfly fly. I will never see the stars next to a milky white moon on a dark night. I will never really know what a color is. And I can never see anyones face. Never. And people who don't know me just think of me as the little invalid. They try to take care of me, show me where everything is, explaining it like they were talking to a toddler. But I don't need that attention. It's just that I want someone to notice I am a girl.
I am separate. Desperate. But I can't show these feelings to anyone. But when I look at others, so happy with their partners, I feel sad. But no one realizes, in their happiness, that there are others watching them and feeling sorry for themselves. I just hope that one day, some kind ( and awesome ) person will take me for who I am.
I am strong. Witty. Independent. Smart talking. Powerful. Different. Separated. Lonely. Sad.
I am Toph, and I am just trying to find out where I belong in a crazy messed up world.
- I hope you liked it! Thanks for reading! -