She desired more.
It's been years and she is nearing the end of her life. And yet, the regrets she still felt overwhelmed her. Her skin was wrinkly, her emerald eyes looked smaller with the sagging skin nearly blocking them. On top of her nose were a black pair of thick lenses. Even her vision has deteriorated. She was nearly blind.
Her pink hair that she felt so proud of were nearly all white. Messy as well, with tangles that the past her would be ashamed of, but she hasn't bothered to maintain them except to wash with shampoo and water. Combing and brushing her hair has become a chore she no longer bothered with.
And she has difficulty even standing up and walking now. She has to hold onto her bed rail in order to steady herself to get out of bed. And her movements are slower than they used to be. Oh, how time flies.
Memories of her earlier years fill her with regret. If she could go back, she would have treated others in a kinder manner from the start. She learnt to be kind much too late. And she learnt to push people away, a trait she desires strongly to unlearn. However, it is far too late. She is near the end of her life.
She wishes she cared more about things that would have benefited her in the long run. If only she chose the harder, longer road filled with discipline, temporary pain, and effort instead of the shorter path in which she relied on the kindness of others to care for her and protect her. She took the easy way out and caused her life to be filled with permanent pain. Pains of regret.
She wishes she took responsibility for her own learning and her health at an earlier age. To become a strong kunoichi, able to wield chakra remarkably, and end her enemies. But that is all the past now. She made her choices and there is no going back now.
She lives alone in a cottage on top of a hill. A forest surrounds her. Walking up and down the hill used to bring her joy but it no longer does. Her peaceful walk changed into moments of regret, rumination, and negative thinking. She wishes she could go back to thinking positively but it is easier said than done. At the bottom of the hill, there is a small village where she exchanges with the villagers by doing a few, quick medical treatments with chakra in return for groceries or whatever else she fancies. Although she has no bond with them, they respect her privacy.
She doesn't have bonds with anyone anymore.
She thinks of the past and is filled with pain when she thinks of her dear friend Ino. Her blonde haired friend that she had an on-and-off friendship with. They patched their friendship up only for it to become permanently deconstructed, never to be repaired. It hurts when she thinks about it. And before she had the courage to be the first to apologize and attempt to repair their friendship, Ino passed away. She tries not to think about it too much because it hurts.
And the love she felt for Sasuke. A boy who never looked at her twice. She spent years chasing him. Now, she realizes, she just idealized him. She never really knew him, her mind filled up the gaps of what she thought she knew instead of what actually was. He married her and they had two children together. And then he left her to raise them alone by herself. Life as single mother was hard but she made it through.
She outlived her children. They chose to fight in a war based on lies and anger. Propaganda. She feels angry again when she thinks back. She tried to persuade them not to. But they told her, "Mom! You fought in a war and you won!" But the price has always been too much. And the price were her children. They went to war and they never returned.
"Sakura, don't go!" Her friend, a man with spiky blonde hair pleaded. But she didn't listen. Wrought with grief at the death of her children, with a husband who left her, she decided she needed to be alone. Away from the village that she grew up at.
She was surprised she wasn't labelled as a missing-nin. She kept to herself. Found a nice, small home on top of a hill near a tiny but self-sufficient village. She chose not to make new bonds. She chose to keep to herself. She chose to leave and she chose to be alone. She regrets.
She is nearly running out of groceries. It is time again to obtain more groceries but she doesn't have the strength within her to continue. She is too tired now. She has outlived the 3rd Hokage. She has outlived many people. The energy to get out of bed escapes her.
She lays there with her head on top of a pillow. A blanket drawn on top her body. And she realizes that it is probably time for her. If there was a counter on a person's life, hers was likely reaching the end.
And it did.
And she woke up.
"Sakura, how are you feeling?" A kind voice spoke to her. She wore a medic-nin uniform. Her black hair was tied up in a neat bun and in each hand was a clipboard and a pen. Her blue eyes were looking at Sakura in concern.
Sakura blinks. She was laying on a white bed. There was a vase full of daffodils, her favourite flowers, on top of a counter within eye view.
Silence reigns as the medic-nin casts diagnostic jutsu on Sakura. It glowed an eerie green.
"My name is Shiki and I am a medic-nin. It seems you are fine. You gave your mother a scare when she couldn't wake you up." The medic-nin explains.
"Oh." Sakura says.
"Do you have any questions?" The medic-nin asks.
"How long have I been here?"
"About half a day," the medic-nin responds, "It seems you were exhausted but we could not find the reason and opted to let you sleep in instead of forcibly waking you. Seems it did the trick."
"I see." Sakura says.
A moment of silence occurs.
"Alright. I will be back. If you have any questions or need anything, just ring the bell on the side rail of the bed. I will be contacting your parents and your jounin-sensei Kakashi that you have woken up."
"Thank you," Sakura says as she watches the black-haired nurse exit her room and close it behind her.
She pulls the white covers off of her. She is wearing a blue hospital gown. She finds hospital slippers set next to the bed and puts them on. On a table with a chair, she sees a tray of food. She moves there. There is a piece of paper which describes what the food is as well as the date.
According to the date on the paper, it was her second month of being an official ninja on team seven which is lead by Kakashi.
She eats the food which consists of toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon. There is also a cup of apple juice and a cup of milk. She downs both.
She is not sure what is going on. She feels as if she should be much older but her current physical form states otherwise. Her brain full of what could be memories of a long life lived but... could it all have been merely an intense dream? Just in case, she used "Kai!" and then felt silly because nothing happened.
Sakura discharges from the hospital with her mother.
"Thank you Shiki for looking after my daugther" her mother says.
"It was my pleasure," the earlier black-haired medic-nin says. Then she looks at Sakura. "From reading your file, it seems you have very good chakra control."
Sakura and her mother blinks in surprise.
"The demand for hospital staff has always exceeded supply. What do you think about training as a medic-nin on the side? Your file states you are on a combat-focused team, but it never hurts to learn how to heal."
"Is good chakra control rare?" Her mother asks.
"It is." The medic-nin states. "If you are agreeable, Sakura, during your training, you will be compensated with some money. It is not much, but you will be paid for your time. After your training, your compensation will go up."
Sakura's eyes widen. This is an opportunity for her. She didn't think a medic-nin would ever offer to train her of their own free-will. Stammering for a response, Sakura says shyly, "I would like that. Thank you."
"Okay," the medic-nin says. She pulls out a few papers from her clipboard and hands it to Sakura. "You can fill out these forms which include your availability and give it to me next time. I'm here on most days, but if I'm not, someone will let you know when I'm next available. Then we can figure out a flexible schedule for you that won't interfere with your missions and training with Kakashi."
"Thank you Shiki," Sakura says as she accepts the papers.
Sakura and her mother bids the medic-nin farewell as they leave.
"I'm proud of you, darling." Her mother tells her when they get home. Sakura gives her mom a big hug.
Time passes. Sakura got into a routine to jog even when she didn't have to. It wasn't as difficult as she thought it would be. The difficult part was starting and she got through it. She also joined a gym meant for ninjas to reinforce and strengthen their bodies. The membership wasn't as expensive as she thought, she had money saved up from the previous month of D-ranked missions and she is also saving the money earned from current missions. Unfortunately, even though she is able to get into a routine to jog every day, she finds that she hasn't gone to the gym very much. It seems she has wasted her money... She decides not to renew her membership.
She knows she can book an empty training field but that costs money she doesn't want to pay and she is still feeling salty from wasting money on a gym she doesn't go to, so she chooses to go to the training field assigned to her team. She goes alone a few times a week to practice her aiming and her taijutsu after the team missions ends when she knows it is empty. At least it doesn't cost her money...
And once a week, she goes to the hospital. The schedule was all set up with her new part-time sensei Shiki the medic-nin and approved by Kakashi sensei. Shiki is a good teacher but both she and Sakura were surprised when Sakura easily healed a fish on the first try. "It usually takes longer," Shiki said with astounded eyes. Things continue smoothly. Shiki lectures her, explains to her the rationales and the techniques, and reminds Sakura to ask questions about anything she wants to know. Sakura asks a lot of questions, and somehow, the healing thing comes very easily to her. Sakura finds herself feeling very relaxed while healing, a silent but brimming confidence inside her. However, Shiki still wants Sakura to spend more time with the theory and healing animals before starting on actual patients. Sakura agrees.
And finally, she has courage. Unfortunately, upon reaching the flower shop, the courage that was inside her seems to have dissipated. She hesitates at the door.
It opens in front of her and reveals Ino Yamanaka. She raises a blonde eyebrow at Sakura, "You've been standing there for 5 minutes."
Sakura blushes in embarrassment and then bravely says, "Hi Ino."
"Hi." Ino says, opening the door wider and stepping aside.
Sakura shuffles as she enters the flower shop.
"I hear you are studying under a medic-nin now?" Ino says as she waters the plants.
Sakura pauses before replying. "Yeah. Apparently, they need a lot of help. Are you thinking of applying?"
"Daddy says I have pretty good chakra control." Ino says.
"I'll put in a good word for you," Sakura promises.
Ino smiles with gratitude and somehow conversation flows smoothly.
The sun is setting when Sakura leaves the flower shop with a large smile on her face.
Sakura found out there was a library filled with books on theories for chakra techniques and even instructions. She is a genin so she is restricted to the first floor only. The upper floors are not accessible unless she ranks up.
She waves at a boy around her age. "Hi Kaito!"
"Hi Sakura," Kaito says, giving her a small grin. He is sitting on a couch with a thick book in his lap. His eyes are a beautiful shade of red and his hair a dark black. He was related to Team 10's instructor Kurenai. One of her distant cousins.
This is Sakura's new crush although she has decided she won't do anything about it. Instead, she will concentrate on her ninja training. And she finds that she likes this decision of hers.
She smiles at him as she walks pass, heading towards a certain aisle full of books.
Reading has become an enjoyable pastime for her. And learning while reading is great. She finds that her knowledge about many things are being enhanced. She likes it.
They are pulling weeds again from a garden. She does not like the D-rank missions very much.
Her hands are full of dirt and they feel as gross as they look.
"Ugh... so boring!" Naruto complains, as he pulls out more weeds.
Sasuke, her dark haired and dark-eyed teammate, is also pulling weeds with an unsatisfied look covering his face.
"Hm..." Kakashi replies, his eyes centered on a certain orange book.
Sakura rolls her eyes as she pulls out another weed. She can't wait until this mission is over...