-To start off, I've been asked to read this brief announcement:
Carlos came to town today,
He works right by the pizza place.
It took one look; I'm now in love.
That perfect hair and perfect face.
.
Don't approach the dog park, listeners.
Don't go through the gate.
Don't look at all the hooded figures,
Lest you meet your fate.
.
A brand new thing I see today,
To it we cry "all hail!"
As far as glow clouds go, my friends,
This one's the holy grail.
.
Guess who's my least favorite person in this town?
I'm sure you all know his name.
He can't take care of a tan Corolla,
Steve you're friggin lame!
.
Oh my god, I've said too much.
Station management's pissed.
I described their physical appearance,
And I think that they just hissed!
.
I fear my life is on the line
Because of what I've said.
I guess if I don't shut up right now
It's going to be my head.
.
I'm looking to my left
To see a vortex on my wall.
I wonder where it goes?
If it goes anywhere at all...
.
-Hello, Desert Bluffs?
This is Kevin, here.
I'm confused by this place, yes,
But I really have no fear.
.
-Why on earth is there so much blood?
Wait, am I in hell?
With all this gore and viscera.
This truly can't end well.
.
Those, poor, poor people
In that wretched place.
I pray they never see
That wicked man's face.
.
Now I feel better, home and safe again;
Fitting like the head on a nail,
In sync with everything around me here,
In this tiny town of Night Vale.