Chapter 1: What love feels like

Picking up my backpack, I crammed one last thing, a notebook, into it before going downstairs and outside to wait for my ride.

It was going to be a great week, as it was just going to be us and the older Digidestined out for a camping trip. My cellphone began ringing in my pocket, so I fished it out of said pocket.

The caller was my older brother, Matt, who would be driving me, Kari, Sora, and Kari's older brother, Tai, to where we would be meeting the rest of the Digidestined.

I opened the phone, and said, "Hello."

"Hey. Are you ready?" Matt said, "Because I'm about to be there."

"Yep, I'm ready." I replied.

He pulled up around when I said that, and I closed my phone, shoving it back in my pocket. He parked the car along the curb. I walked over to the car, opened the door to the back of the car, and got in. The seat right next to the door was the only open seat in the car, everyone else was already here. Kari was sitting in the middle, which surprised me slightly; I'd expected Tai to demand that he sat in the middle.

I managed to find a place to put my bag on the floor, which was a bit of a challenge, as it was already fairly cramped, because of everyone's bags and feet.

I closed the door to the car, and buckled myself into my seat, and then Matt started the car again.

"Hi." I said to Kari.

"Hi." She replied, smiling warmly.

"How are you doing?" I asked, feeling myself smile back.

"Well, aside from being tired, I'm doing fairly well."

"Same... You couldn't sleep either?" I guessed.

"Yeah. I was excited."

"Me too." I said.

It was true, mostly because I was getting to see everyone else again... And getting to see her again. I'd seen her far less than I'd have liked over the past few years, because school had gotten more time consuming.

I knew it shouldn't really surprise me, but she looked different now. I probably did, too, but that was beside the point. She was cute. Which I'd never really noticed before. Maybe I just hadn't been paying much attention before, or maybe she'd changed, but whatever the reason, my heart beat a little faster looking at her.

She smiled again, and I smiled back, while mentally cursing my sudden and inexplicable attraction to her. It was probably going to make things really awkward. Worse yet, I would be sitting next to her the whole way to the camping site. And while I didn't like being bothered by that, seeing as how she had been my best friend for a long time, but I was bothered by it.

I was bothered by it... But I was more excited by it. And that bothered me, as well.

I suddenly realized I had been staring at her this whole time, and looked away, trying to maintain my calm. Luckily for me, it wasn't long until we pulled into the parking lot for the fast-food restaurant we would be eating at with everyone else.

As Matt parked the car, Kari reached down to get something, something that I would quickly learn was her camera. As she did so, her arm lightly brushed mine, making me feel vaguely like the part of my arm she'd touched had fallen asleep, only, instead of being uncomfortable, it was a warm, exciting feeling.

As I unbuckled my seat belt, I tried to clear my head of my new obsession for the girl sitting next to me, but I had no luck. I got out of the car, and, as we all went inside, I realized we were the last one's here.

I wasn't sure if this was a stroke of luck of terrible ill fortune. It meant that I wouldn't be tempted to obsess over Kari while Tai was the only other person there who was paying attention, as I was fairly sure that Sora and Matt would spend all their time focusing on one another. And I was fairly sure that spending all my time staring at Kari while Tai was the only other person who would notice would be a VERY poor life choice, because Tai had been very overprotective, at least, he had in past.

The downside, of course, was that Kari would want to talk to Yolie more, meaning that she would pay less attention to me. I shivered a little, I was deeply bothered by my thoughts and feelings right now. It wasn't so much that I minded my feelings for Kari, although I also minded that a little. What bothered me was how possessive and controlling I wanted to be.

It surprised me quite a bit when, rather than running straight to Yolie to greet her, Kari stayed close to me as I got in line, and started up conversation again.

"So, what all is new?" Kari asked, "I mean, it's been a while."

"Not much really. I'm glad the school year is over." I said, and then observed, "You didn't choke-hug Yolie."

"No, I've seen her more recently than you. Plus..."She paused, biting her lip as if deciding whether or not to say something, "Well, you look like you have changed a lot since I saw you last, as well."

"You look like you've changed a lot, too." I said, "And you don't look half bad, either."

She flushed a little, and replied, "Neither do you."

I blushed a little myself, and right about then we reached the front of the line, and I ordered a quarter pounder meal.

"Hey, if you'll get the food, I'll get the ketchup and find us a table." I said.

"Cool by me." She said.

I walked about halfway across the restaurant to where the ketchup dispensers were, took four of the small paper containers, and filled each with ketchup.

The restaurant was mostly empty, so finding a table wouldn't be terribly hard, but I did have to make a difficult decision. I knew I should choose a table that was close to the rest of the group, but I didn't particularly want to. I sighed a little, but set down the ketchup at a table not to far from where the others were scattered about.

As I sat down at the small table, Kari arrived with the food. I moved the small ketchup containers so that there would be a single space on the table large enough for the tray Kari was carrying, and she set down the tray in that space.

As she sat down, I smiled involuntarily. Of everyone she could have chosen to sit next to, she'd chosen me. At this point, I was also starting to annoy myself with my obsessiveness.

She apparently noticed my smile, and smiled back. I finally decided that I had to get away for a moment, to at least give clearing my head a fair chance.

"I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I lied.

"Alright." She said. I darted off to the restroom, and closed and locked the door behind me, very glad that this bathroom was of the kind with only one toilet.

As I stood there in the bathroom, alone with my own harsh judgement and rationality, I realized just how creepy my behaviour was. Suddenly, I was embarrassed and ashamed.

I looked at myself in the mirror, and whispered, "What the Hell is wrong with me?"

Then, a moment later, I had an answer.

I found it in the form of a question, which I asked myself in a whisper so full of disgust and terror that I hardly recognized it as my own voice.

"Is this what love feels like?"