A/N this is my first fan fiction.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or make out paradise. Many of the jokes I got off of 20 most shocking (Jokes) and I borrow the tin foil hat thing from signs. Oh I don't own twilight either or star wars or dragon ball and I also don't own facebook or myspace...yeah I don't own anything cool*pouts*
Rated: T to be safe (mild. suggestive themes and swearing from Hidan in later chapters)
(Sorry if it sucks I will spend longer on the next ones:)
Kisame was on a mission, no matter how simple he had to take it seriously or Pain-sama would get mad. Well anyways he was supposed to take this mission seriously, but Kisame had much different plans. He would do anything that he pleases for a while, not way to long but for a few hours.

He walked on the outskirts of the small village he was in. The shacks and other homes leaned against each other for support and dust was coating the porches. He was currently looking for a small shop to look for something anything actually, it was just that there was nothing to do in that town and this was his self appointed day off.

He finally found what he was trying to find a connivance store called entertainment for the youthful side of you. It was the ONLY store in the whole town (or so at least Kisame was convinced). After a small amount of time he found a book that he though may be the only think that was not some cheap knock-off of a classical book it was…

Make Out Paradise: The complete guide to making your students leave your village, or kill themselves.

Chapter one: How to annoy your new students:

1. be late all the time especially when you tell your student NOT to be late.
2. Make up stupid excuses for being late such as 'I was lost on the road of life' or 'I saw a black cat' and the classic 'I stepped under a latter so I took the long way'.
3. Where a mask and refuse to show your face.
4. Constantly read this book and laugh for no reason saying 'you naughty boy'.
5. Say you will take your students to lunch and pay the bill then make up an excuse for not paying the (extremely) long bill.
6. Talk about how bad your life was compared to how easy there life is now.
7. Hide rotten milk in their fridge and they blame them when they get sick.
8. Tell them they are not old enough to read this book.
9. Flaunt around your superiority. 'I am your superior so you must wash my car' or 'I am of age so I can drink all the sake I want' and also 'I am your sensei you sall do as I say'
10. When they ask you to describe yourself be as non descriptive as you can: 'my goal is none of your business' or 'I had dreams but now I don't' and 'I just don't think you're not old enough to know what I do on Sundays'
11. Waist all day giving them a long lecture on life with big words then when they ask what the words mean yell in a dramatic way 'my students are a bunch of uneducated hill-billies!'
a family member is killed or put in the hospital tell them 'don't cry over split milk'
to have your student over to watch and converse about the star wars trilogy.
14. Make your student watch sad movies and con pair the movies to their poor pathetic meaningless lives.
15. Sing part of a catchy song to get it stuck in their head. Or just sing a song they don't like.
16. Make fun of there kengeki genkai.
17. Tell them completely obvious rules for missions; 'don't let the client die, don't kill the client and don't kiss the client' or 'don't die' or 'the enemy will try to kill you'.
18. Tell them that with maturity comes great responsibility, so wash my car!'
19. Give them a picture of you for Christmas.
20. Yell 'ah I broke a nail!' Shoving your hand into their face, later call them a drama queen for no reason.
21. Teach them that 2+2=6 and when they tell you that 2+2=4 yell math was made up anyway! And walk off.
22. Say crazy things and when your students look at you funny yell don't judge me! And throw your hands up in to the air.
23. Read baby books out loud to them.
24. Make up stupid phrases like 'the power of youth!' And say them in public.
25. Convince students that there is a worship teacher month.
26. Make them watch the twilight saga. (Is that not the best torture?)
27. Make up words such as whatawaska! And sensanobi! And when your student has no idea what you're talking about tell them all the kids are saying them nowadays.
28. Tell your students that the world will end in a week if they ask how you know get a serious look on your face and say the aliens told you.
29. Make tin foil hats and say there so the 'aliens can't read our minds'.
30. Feed those raw fish; say it's good for their Colin.
31. If they ask you why you are so odd say the aliens implanted an electronic chip into your brain.
32. Repeatedly yell MAKE IT STOP! If your students ask why you are yelling to make it stop, tell them in a low terrified tone 'the voices keep telling me to hurt people!'
33. Continuously change the date on your student's calendar
at random things that are not particularly funny.
35. When the intercom comes on in a store or bus yell in an exceedingly loud voice 'the voices are back! All my therapy has been wasted!'
Chapter 2: practical jokes
1. When cleaning up cat and or dog poop: take a butter knife and spread peanut butter on a napkin then proclaim that 'it does not look right!' And eat the peanut butter.
2. Have your students watch Texas chain saw massacre: get a chain saw and when they are asleep put a sheet with ketchup on it over your head, start the chain saw and run at them.
3. Fill a turkey baser full of jelly and squirt it into their mouths as they sleep.(watch as they choke)
4. Tell them a story about a ghost that has no eyes nor eye sockets or mouth. Put a blanket over your head and stand over their face as they sleep.
5. Hide rotten fish in their pillow cases.
6. Take a turkey for thanksgiving and stuff a Cornish game hen inside and convince them that it was pregnant.
7. Hide in a closet with a monster costume on when they open it and go for their clothes jump at them.
8. put icy hot on their underwear.
9. Put a genjutsu on their house to make it appear they are in outer space or inside a monster.
10. Tell your students that you can pin a glass cup to the wall with a metal tack. They will not believe you (obviously) drop the tack and ask them to pick it up for you because you have the cup in the right spot. Poor the water on them.
11. Tie a string to all the pots and pans in your student's kitchen and have a wire for them to step on connected to the pots and pans. After the initial scare jump out at them.
12. Switch their salt to pepper and their pepper to sugar and sugar to salt.
13. Place a genjutsu of a fly on their forehead. (As they continuously hit themselves try not to laugh to hard it may give you away.)
14. Buy them a gold fish and give them small bag (about a week's worth) of 'super fish growth food'. After about two days switch the gold fish out with a catfish. When your student runs out of 'super fish growth food' put the original fish bag and release the catfish (or have catfish for dinner.)

A/N I really don't think these are very funny but maybe mildly amusing? Any who it was in fact the hardest I will have to write I am more inspired for the others. Thanks for reading.
A/N- it has been partially revised…I am going to fix others as well…it was my first fic anyways. I won't rewrite it just do some minor touch-ups