Title: Love Stinks
Author: Evil_Little_Dog
Rating: Gen
Disclaimer: This is a derivative work, and, as such, I make absolutely no money writing this. Darn the luck.
Summary: Sam's whining, Fiona's irritated, Michael just wants breakfast.
Notes: from Comment_Fic.
When you're a spy, you learn to be able to read a room. Of course, reading someone you work with closely is a lot easier. Especially when the guy drinks like a fish on a good day. Today must be a bad day, because Sam's not drinking.
"Something wrong, Sam?" Michael asks, barely taking his attention away from the gun he's breaking down for cleaning.
"Love stinks, Mikey." Sam sighs.
Michael pulls a long face at Sam. He looks abashed for a few seconds, then swings off the bar stool he'd been sitting on, going to the ice box and opening it. Peeling a beer bottle out of the pack, he pops the top and downs a third of the bottle in one gulp. "Okay, point taken," Sam says. "You and Fi."
"Are not the issue at the moment," Michael reminds Sam. "What's happened?"
"Well, you know I was seeing that cute little thing from Carlitos?"
Michael made the, 'yes, hurry up,' gesture.
The door to the loft opens, Fiona prowling in. "Good morning, boys," she says.
"Morning, Fi," Michael answers.
"She dumped me. Said I wasn't rich enough."
Somehow, Michael couldn't find it in him to feel very sympathetic. "A woman like that isn't worth it, Sam. Someone just after your money?"
Fiona sits down on Sam's vacated bar stool. "What happened, Sam? Did one of your sugar mommas dry up on you?"
"Ha!" Sam glares at her.
"Sam's latest girlfriend broke up with him because he's not rich enough," Michael says, bringing Fiona up to speed. Because Fiona would beat it out of him, possibly literally, if he didn't tell her.
Fiona sniffs as Sam groans. "Well, Sam, if you'd choose to date a better class of woman, you wouldn't have that problem."
"Are you saying someone like you?" he asks.
She tosses her hair. "Of course not. I'm one of a kind."
Snorting, Sam says, "You can say that again, sister," and drinks another third of his bottle.
"What say we all go for breakfast!" Michael's not going to listen to them bicker. And pretend Fiona isn't giving him eyes. He's been down that road before, and ex-girlfriends should stay 'ex' for a reason. Even if they are amazing shots. Especially if they're amazing shots. Michael doesn't want to wake up one morning with missing body parts. Some of them, he might need one day. "Come on," he says, setting the pistol down and covering it with a cloth. "Let's get going, before I change my mind. This is a limited time offer."
"But I'd like to talk more to Sam about his lack of a lady friend!" Fiona pouts.
"Too bad, sister. I hear Carlito's has some pretty good mimosas for brunch." Sam's rubbing his hands together, the gleam back in his eyes. Fiona tsks and turns her head away. "So, we're going?"
"Yes," Michael says.
"Fine," Fiona says, sliding off the stool. The way she walks to the door, Michael knows just what Sam says. Love really does stink, sometimes.
~end~