Hello all.
This story is rather old, to be honest. And a few of you might recognize it—for it was on my old account that I just recently rediscovered, Midnight Knightmare. I'd rather see how it does, so I decided to strip my old account, change its name, and reapply these stories my current, and permanent, account.
Though, haha, I do miss the name Midnight Knightmare.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this story, I know I enjoyed writing it way back when!
Song: What's Left Of Me
Artist: Nick Lachey
Take it as twincest if you will. But I had, for once, no intentions of it when I wrote it. But it can be taken either way, so feel free.
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He closed his eyes, watching his life flash before them as he felt the grip on his hand grow stronger, he felt the warmth of the same heat he possessed on his cheek burn warmer, and he knew that his brother wasn't going to leave him to die.
Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rear view mirror
But he didn't feel that he deserved such kindness from the man he'd said to hate, that he had once tried to kill, Gabranth winced at the remorse, gently squeezing his brother's hand in return, willing him selfishly to stay with him, rather than to fight the final battle with those his brother had protected for so long now.
"Forgive me, Noah," Gabranth's eyes opened once more, looking up into the face of the man who he'd once cared for more than anyone else in the world, and the fear of being without him struck deep into his heart. "But they need me now, but I'll be back to you. You're not alone anymore."
With that his brother stood, letting his hand brush gently against his twin's short hair, looking down into identical eyes with silent promise, and then leaving to fight the battle of his life.
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer
'Basch,' he closed his eyes once more, unable to do anything, he couldn't help Lord Larsa, whom was within the same room as himself, and he couldn't aid his brother in the final battle. He listened to the beat of his own heart and willed it to stay in rhythm until he could lay eyes once more on his twin, if only until then, if only.
He felt the memories overtake him, and he welcomed each in turn, watching as his life flashed before him.
I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes
Yeah...
'Basch, why is it now, now that I've become so closely fond of death, and now fond of you once more, that death is to choose me as his preference?' He frowned, the emotions rushing towards him taking him by surprise as he realized how sorrowful his life had turned out to be, how terrible a man he'd become.
He'd tried so hard to destroy his brother, he'd made him fail in protecting Dalmasca. Gabranth had attempted to steal his brother's honor, and in turn had lost his own.
'Brother, brother please I don't want to lose you, Basch, Basch come back.'
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
He felt the warm salty tears slip past his eyes as he accepted even further that he'd been a failure to his family, selling his soul to the people who had destroyed his homeland and killed his parents. Listening willingly to the man who would evidently be the one to take his life, and killing those he was told to kill without question.
But with unyielding remorse.
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
'I just want to go home again,' he clenched his jaw as he felt his life further slip from his body. 'I want to stay with you, brother; I want to save our lives.'
But he knew what was done wasn't to be redone. The world would be what it turned into now, but he would not be there to see it happen, he would leave this world filled with the regrets of his sad, pathetic life.
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
'Do you remember Basch?' He thought sadly. 'When we were young, and naive? All the nights I'd spend in your room, terrified of simple thunder, and you'd just hug me tightly until I drifted off. But I don't..' he opened his eyes. 'I'm not who I'm supposed to be, you taught me so much more than what I've taken through my life.' He turned to look to the door where his brother had gone through, the door that he should have been with Basch going through.
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me
He coughed, choking, and he felt his heart sputter in his chest, and he clenched his fist and felt the blood gurgle up through his throat and into his mouth as death loomed even closer. 'Basch, come back.'
I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
'In the end, I suppose I was really only fooling myself into believing I hated you, brother. You've retained your honor, even though so many have strived to strip you of it.' Gabranth knew there was barely even a chance of survival for him now, and he wished his final words could fall unto his brother's ears, he wished his remorse and regret would finally disappear.
He wished to take up the name Noah once more, and restart his life as if this had never happened, but that was just a fleeting dream.
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
And he wondered, would his brother ever truly forgive him for all his wrongs? Would Basch really return with a willful heart? And would he see that Gabranth now willed for the life they should have possessed, that simple childhood fantasy both had shared?
But he doubted Basch even remembered the little things like that, but he supposed he remembered when the Empire had attacked for the first time. Basch would have remembered his twin's terrified face as he watched their parents die in front of them. Watching as the Judge laughed and left them to live, cold and alone. He must remember that as Gabranth had, the reasoning behind his striving for the position he'd claimed in the Empire.
Running from myself until,
You gave me a reason for standing still
Gabranth was almost positive, however, that his brother remembered now more than ever, that fateful day that had set his twin into a fit of tears, and caused Noah to curl into a ball in his brother's lap, cursing the Empire with all his innocent soul as he asked why they did what they do, why they would cause such destruction, why they had hurt Basch the way they had. And he'd never forgotten his brother's words. Never. Because even a stray has pride.
He watched the door open, and to his surprise he watched his brother run towards him, he heard his quick words, his breathy voice calming the younger twin.
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
"You.. Came back." Gabranth smiled at his twin as Basch leaned down to him, placing a single strong arm behind his neck, patting his brother's hair with the other, gently, soothingly.
"As I said I would, Noah," Basch smiled fearfully down, the fear evident in his expression as he worried about his twin's current health. "You can't die on me, brother, live."
Gabranth said nothing, only feebly raised his arm to return the action of affection Basch was currently giving him.
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
"I can't promise you something like that, Basch, I've not even deserved to see you once more, so I've no right to ask for a life to live." He felt his brother's strong arms lift him, and he carefully glanced around to those his brother had been traveling with, and decided those people would be able to look after his brother long after he was gone.
"But you do, Noah, you've no reason to ask for death, you've a life to live now, you've Lord Larsa to protect, and a brother to get to know." Despite his soothing words, Gabranth held steady to the fact it was his time.
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me
He felt the quick steps his brother was taking as they raced to leave Bahamut, as they raced for their very lives, and he felt greatly happy to not have been left behind, despite his date with death.
His heart was giving into the pain, and he knew there was not much time left for him within the world, or within his brother's life. "Basch, forgive me."
"I've nothing to forgive you for." Gabranth smiled a small, pained smile, and reached up to touch his brother's unshaven face, savoring the feel, and savoring the warmth his body would soon lose.
It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
He felt his head rest against a pillow, and he knew they were on the means of escape they were to take.
"Basch, I'm so sorry." His voice was low and scratchy. But his brother shushed him, and placed his hand tenderly on Gabranth's forehead.
"There's naught to be sorry for, Noah."
Gabranth closed his eyes, this was his only chance to speak with Basch, he knew Lord Larsa would not stray from his side for much longer, but Basch would not hear his apologies, he would not hear his words.
Give me something,
To believe in
"Why is it... that you won't lay," Gabranth coughed violently. "The blame upon me?" he watched his brother's expression travel through many emotions, before finally landing on that familiar face that Noah had looked up to for so long.
Basch leaned over, laying a soft kiss on Gabranth's forehead, before answering. "Because I've never once blamed you for what's happened, Noah."
Tell me: It's not all in my head
Gabranth held back his tears, turning his sobs into coughs as Basch's gentle words hit him deep within his heart, after all he'd done, after everything, his brother never blamed him. He wrapped his arms around his brother's neck, holding loosely, unable to put strength behind the grasp, but his twin allowed him to keep him there, holding him, crying into his shoulder as everything he'd ever needed to say was suddenly washed away.
"I love you, Basch."
For the first time in his life, Gabranth had spoken words he'd never expected to say, and the world seemed to unclasp around him as he strengthened the bond his brother and he now possessed, that small little brotherly bond that both had lacked since the day they had been separated.
Take what's left
Of this man
Basch closed his eyes, holding his brother tightly as if the rain hounded against the windows and Noah was cuddling into him to hide from the roaring thunder.
"I love you, too, Noah."
He felt Gabranth's warm tears fall more heavily onto his shoulder, before he finally pulled away.
Make me whole
Once again.
Gabranth smiled weakly at his twin. "I leave Lord Larsa to you," his eyes swivelled to the young boy talking to the blonde his brother traveled with. "I would entrust him to no other."
Basch looked down at his brother, and he himself was holding back tears he could not afford to let fall, his brother was not to see him cry during his final moments.
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
"I'm sorry Basch, to.." Gabranth coughed once more, convulsing painfully with each gust of throaty wind. "I'm sorry to leave you like this."
Basch said nothing, only stroked his brother's cheek gently, holding back the tears as his eyes began to burn with the effort, willing his brother to live, willing death to leave him be.
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
"You deserve so much more than this, Noah!" The elder choked out, reaching with his other hand to grasp his brother's. "You can't just die, not now! You've only just begun your life! You just can't leave it; you just can't leave me, behind!" Everything Basch wanted to say to his little brother was evident within these words, and Gabranth closed his eyes.
"You deserve much better than I, Basch, a much better brother." He forced the words painfully.
But you can have what's left of me
"But I'm so grateful to you Basch, that I've even had this much time to be with you, you've no idea how these moments have felt to me. To know my sins have been forgiven by the only family I've had, by one of the only people I've ever truly cared about." his grip tightened on his brother's hand as his heart stuttered painfully at the effort of talking so freely.
I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
"I couldn't have had a better brother, Noah." Basch clenched his jaw, squeezing his brother's hand in return, and looked directly into the eyes that mirrored his own. "I've never wanted a different little brother."
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
"Basch, forgive me for leav-leaving like this," Gabranth closed his heavy eyes and sighed, letting more tears flow freely as he weakened his grip on his brother's hand.
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me?
"Don't leave, Noah. Live!" Basch begged, taking his brother's armored hand into both of his own, gripping tighter, willing Gabranth to do the same. "Stay with me Noah!"
Just running in circles in my mind
"Brother," The voice was just a whisper, and Basch leaned forward.
Will you take what's left
"I can't stay with you." He coughed violently, but his eyes remained closed, his hand still gently gripping his brother's.
Will you take what's left
"So brother, will you..." he sighed once more, his heart heaving to keep him going, and he found himself unable to open his eyes, unable to look at his brother just one more time.
"Will you take what's left of me?"
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I hope you enjoyed this rather old Songfic about Basch and Gabranth,
And I do hope you'll review.
Peace,
W.A.R