Hey everyone! So this is my first Jatie oneshot! It's kind of stupid, and kind of ridiculous, but dang, it was a lot of fun to write!

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Big Time Rush, Oreo ice cream, or The White Tie Affair's song "Take It Home"

This oneshot is dedicated to xxxkia. We were PMing and she brought up a line in my other Jatie story "Hot Water" (yes! Self-advertising!) where Katie makes a slightly sarcastic comment about never looking up pictures of James shirtless, and we got to talking about that and...well...the idea was born ;)

This is definitely not the best thing I've ever written, but hopefully it's entertaining enough that people will like it :)

Enjoy the story!

I could feel a blush creeping up my cheeks as I sat down quietly at my computer. I glanced around as if afraid that someone might be hiding in my closet or under my bed, but my room was empty.

Come on Katie, it's not a big deal, I told myself. People do this all the time. And besides, you have an actual reason. It's for a school project. I knew I had nothing to be embarrassed about, but I couldn't help it. If any of the guys caught me…I would never hear the end of it. Especially from James. He would be singing "I know you love me/I know you love me/I know you love me/And I'm driving you crazy" to the tune of Garbage's song Why Do You Love Me for the rest of my life, or until I finally cracked and hit him over the head with a hammer.

I clicked onto the internet, chewing down hard on my bottom lip. Out of all the school projects, out of all the topics, out of all the celebrities, I had to end up with this one. This was so unfair.

Taking a deep breath to reassure and steady myself, I clicked on the Google search bar and typed in, with shaking fingers: James Diamond shirtless pics. Before I could shriek at myself that I was crazy, I hit the search button. There was a brief moment where the screen flashed white, and then the suggestions began to pop up.

Holy crap. What'd he do? Pose for every magazine and tabloid rag he could get an appointment with? How many shirtless pictures does a guy need of himself?

There were dozens upon dozens of links to pictures of James Diamond without his shirt on. There were a couple of rows of pictures of him at the top of the page, and several YouTube video suggestions.

Grrrrrr…This was going to take longer than what I had thought. Damn. Maybe I would be better off just asking James for a copy of some of his best shirtless pictures…but no, because if I did, I would have to kill him afterwards. No one could know, except for my college professor.

Geh. This is what I get for going to college so that I can become an agent…Stupid Publicity 100 class anyway. I mean, who needed it? I had a better sense of what's good for publicity than the professor probably did. If she knew anything about publicity, she would be a high-powered agent, but where was she? Teaching some crappy college class and ordering her students to do a project on the sex appeal of celebrities, and how that affects their image.

And of course, she had had a bunch of celebrities who she had in mind for the project, and naturally, I had gotten James's name. Why me? Why? What did I ever do to deserve this? WHY?

Okay Katie, focus. This is a school project that needs to be turned in by Monday morning, and today's Friday.

One question: What kind of sick, sadistic professor gives her students three-and-a-half days to something like this? I mean, first you have to come up with a subject, then you have to put together your research material, and then you have to write the paper (which thankfully didn't have a minimum word or page count, because otherwise I would have been even more screwed than I already was). It's not an easy thing to finish. It takes a lot of concentration…something that I was currently lacking.

Steeling myself, I clicked on the link to James's online fan club (!) and within a few seconds, found myself staring at rows and rows and rows of pictures of him, a good half of which depicted him without a shirt, or with his shirt unbuttoned, hanging open. Whoa.

Okay, teenage girl hormones, leave me alone! You're not helping me out here!

It was stupid for me to practically be drooling over his pictures. I saw him shirtless practically every day. He never wore a shirt to bed, just a pair of sweats, or, if it was hot, boxers. Carlos swears there's been a couple of times when James didn't even wear that, and he still claims that his eyes are permanently scarred. Anyway, James never bothers to get dressed for breakfast, he usually just stumbles out of the bedroom and falls into a chair, before someone (namely me) points out to him that he has a serious case of bed head and then he goes scurrying off to the bathroom to run a comb through his hair while the person who pointed it out to him (me) nearly falls out of her chair with laughter.

James also sunbathes on a pretty regular basis – and it just so happens to be another activity that he prefers to do half-naked, so that his "beautiful tanned skin would not be ruined by tan lines". His words, not mine.

It was absolutely amazing that I was attracted to him, because he was so vane and shallow. But that was James Diamond for you. He was the complete, sweet, hot, self-absorbed package.

Okay, next thing…Choosing some pictures and printing them out. But which ones? As much as I hated to admit it, he looked fantastic in most of them. There were only a couple that really didn't catch him at his best angle, and I figured it had more to do with the inexperience of the photographer than with James himself.

I clicked on the first one, and nearly fell out of my chair. This one came from an interview he had done a couple of months ago for the magazine H-O-T. Plenty of guys posed shirtless for it, including Dak Zevon and Jett Stetson – Jett Stetson had even volunteered to pose naked so that girls would have something new to fantasize about. He had reportedly been told to keep his pants on because otherwise they were going to work some fierce photo shop magic on his lower body – and not in a good way.

In the enlarged picture, James was leaning against a simple wall, wearing dark rinse jeans that hung low on his hips. He was staring at the camera with a smoldering look, his large hazel eyes dark and intense.

I couldn't help it. I licked my lips.

That was a good example of a celebrity's sex appeal. Perfect. I went up to the file button on the top left hand corner of my screen, and hit print. A split second later, the printer on the other side of my room kicked on, and began to whir out the picture. Oh God. If someone saw these pictures, I would never be able to come out of my room.

Okay. Best not to think about it.

Once the printer was finished with the picture, I clicked onto the next one. This one was a little less seductive, a little more innocent and friendly, but still…whoa.

This one was for some surfing magazine that he had covered. He was in board shorts, and was carrying a surfboard. Hmmm…Sure, that could work. I hit print again, before moving onto the next picture.

This one didn't have him completely shirtless. Instead he was just posing, while pulling his shirt up enough to give the viewer a good look at his abs. Tease. Should I print it out? Hmmm…probably should, just to make sure. So I printed the picture out and headed onto the next one.

This one nearly knocked me out of my seat. It was another one for his photo shoot from H-O-T magazine. He was wearing the same jeans, but he was in a slightly different setting, in a room with a bed off on his left. The camera had been pulled away enough to take in the button-up shirt on the floor. His hand was on the top button of his jeans, like he was in the process of undressing.

Well. That was inappropriate. It made girls' blood pump a little too easily and a little too fierce. That was taking the whole sex appeal thing too far. Hmmph. Who came up with the idea of guys posing like that in pictures? Probably a horny cougar.

Unfortunately, as painful as it was to accept, this picture was beyond perfect for my project. So, grinding my teeth, I clicked on the print button.

I went through a few more pictures, although none were quite that suggestive and innuendo-laden as that particular one had been. Nevertheless, they got printed out too.

Okay then. Now that that was done…

I got up, grabbed the pictures, and stuffed them into a manila envelope, out of the line of suspicious *cough Kendall cough* eyes.

And that's when I heard the apartment door open. I quickly threw the envelope into my pillowcase, and clicked out of the internet, just seconds before there was a knock on my bedroom door.

"Katie! We're all heading out to dinner. You wanna come?" James called through my bedroom door.

I opened the door to find myself face to face with him. "Depends. Where're you going?"

"That new Chinese place."

"Sure, sounds good." I grabbed my purse and we headed out.

Dinner was pretty uneventful. There was the usual piling food a foot high on plates, knocking over the salt, pepper, and soy sauce, and Carlos and Logan bickering like cats and dogs.

"So how was class today, Katie?" Kendall asked me as he took a bite of an eggroll.

"It was…class," I said with a shrug. "You know, some of it good, some of it boring. It just depended on the moment."

"How's your publicity class going?" James asked as he dumped soy sauce all over his chow mein. "Is your professor still…how did you put it? A wannabe-Hitler with a sadistic love of embarrassing students?"

I smiled as he quoted me word-for-word. "Yep, she still is. Today she called one of the girls and one of the boys up, and proceeded to question them about just what it is that attracts them to super-hot celebrities. And no James, none of you Big Time Rush boys were mentioned."

"I wasn't going to ask that!"

I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Okay, so maybe I was…But still…she sounds like a nasty piece of work."

"Oh believe me, she is." I scooped pork fried rice onto my fork and crammed it into my mouth. "I had to come home and eat half a container of Oreo ice cream before I was recovered enough to start on my homework."

James smiled at me sympathetically and slipped his arm around me, squeezing my shoulders. "Tell you what, on our way home, I'll pick you up another thing of Oreo ice cream. What do you say?"

"Have I mentioned how awesome you are lately?"

He grinned. "No, but it's okay, because I know you think I'm awesome. I mean, check out these biceps – how can you not think I'm amazing?" He flexed his arms and smirked at me while I rolled my eyes. "Hmmm? Hmmm? I bet if your ex-boyfriend had a body like this, you would have stayed with him."

"James, my ex-boyfriend spent his free time dissecting the meaning of Van Gogh paintings. A hot body wasn't going to improve his appeal much."

"So you admit that I have a hot body?"

I banged my head against the table. "I can't win…I can't win!"

The next day, I sat down to work on my paper for the project. I began on the introduction, biting my lower lip, before moving onto the main body of the essay, but I quickly got stuck.

With a sigh, I got up and pulled the envelope filled with the pictures out from under my bed, where I had stuck it last night when I had come back up to the apartment.

I dumped the pictures out and spread them around on my bed, trying to figure out which one I should start complaining – ahem, writing – about. I was thinking about kind of just describing the picture and what kind of effect it could very easily have on girls and their hearts – some of these pictures could very easily give them heart attacks. They were also fantasy-inducing, which was probably the point – to drive

the girls wild with lust.

I shuffled through the pictures until I found the one that had nearly caused me to faint the day before, the one that created the illusion that James was undressing. Stupid picture. Stupid, horny photographers. I mean, what kind of photographer has a guy pose like that? It's ridiculous, and should be outlawed. And suddenly I felt bad for James, like he had been taken advantage of by the photographers. I knew he hadn't been, that he had agreed to pose for all of the pictures, but I still couldn't get the image of him laughing and joking and making comments about his hair over plates of chow mein and fried rice and orange chicken the night before. It was so hard for me to make the connection between that James, and the hot, sexy, fiery James whose image was on the shiny paper I was currently clutching in my hand.

Without further ado, I jumped to my feet and hurried out of my room, to the room James and Carlos shared. I knocked on the door, and a moment later, the door swung open. James stood there in jeans and a t-shirt. "Hey Katie, what's up?"

I paused, and then leapt forward and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He froze for a split second, before hugging me back.

We stood like that for several seconds, and then…

"Um, Katie, why are we hugging?"

"I just felt like it," I answered.

"Ohhhh…" and then… "I knew you liked me!"

Wow, he's good at spoiling a perfectly sweet moment.

I pulled away from him and crossed my arms over my chest. "I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Yes you do!"

"Nah uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"You're delusional!"

"And you're in denial! Admit it, Katie, you like me! Not that I blame you…I mean, who can resist this?" and he did his jazz hands motion to indicate The Face.

I rolled my eyes. "You are so vane."

"But that doesn't matter to you, because you like me."

"I DO NOT!"

"Do too! You like me, you like me, you like me!" James sang, skipping around me like a four-year-old girl.

"You look ridiculous," I informed him.

"That's just your denial talking."

"No, it's my reality talking."

"Nah uh. Come on Katie, it'll be easier if you admit it. You like me!"

"Okay, fine, I'll admit it," I said, and reached forward, pulling him down to my eye-level. His breathing hitched and his eyes flickered down to my lips. "I…"

"Yes?"

"I…"

"Spit it out, Katie."

"I…DON'T LIKE YOU!"

"YES YOU DO!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"YES YOU DO!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"YESYOUDOYESYOUDOYESYOUDO!"

"AAAAGH! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!"

"SO ARE YOU!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"NEVER!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO FIGHTING ABOUT?"

James and I both spun around to find Kendall standing just inside the doorway in the living room, gaping at us with his jaw nearly hitting the floor.

"Oh, he's just being stupid," I grumbled.

"And she's just in denial," James retorted.

"Ohhhh…you two are arguing about whether or not she has a crush on you, eh James?"

"Well…in a manner of speaking…"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "James, she doesn't have a crush on you. You're not her type. Thank God," he added under his breath as he pushed past us towards his and Logan's room.

"See?" I cried, whirling around to face James. "I don't have a crush on you!"

"Yes you do!" and then he broke out into song: "Ice/Ice/Melt your heart/Baby girl let down your guard/Rush/rush/For that touch/Just one taste/Can't get enough/Ice/Ice/Melt your heart/Baby girl let down your guard/Rush/rush/For that touch/Just one taste/Can't get enough." (The White Tie Affair: Take It Home.

"YOU ARE SO IMMATURE!" I screamed at him.

"So? What's your point?"

"AAAAAAGH!" and with that witty comeback, I spun on my heel and stomped into my room, making sure to slam the door behind me as hard as I could.

GRRRR! And to think, this whole thing had started because of the stupid project that Ms. Trellis had forced on me. I was so going to get my revenge on her…But first I needed to get an A.

With a sigh, I sat back down at my computer and began typing again. I didn't feel so bad and guilty for James now – instead, I was considering ways to brainwash him so that he would never bring up my so-called crush on him again.

Okay, so my crush wasn't exactly 'so-called'. It was very much real, but James didn't need to know that. He was my twenty-one year old brother's best friend, and if Kendall ever found out how I felt out about James (which actually would seem pretty unbelievable considering what James had just pulled – come to think of it, I was having a hard time believing it) than I would be locked in my room until I was forty. And that's if I was lucky.

James had been going on and on about my alleged crush on him ever since I warned him against that psycho fan of his, and even though I had made him sign a contract stating that I did not have a crush on him, he refused to drop the subject. Which meant that he had gotten a lot of things thrown at him, had had his shampoo switched with dog conditioner, and had had his lucky white v-neck replaced with a tie-dyed one. And he still refused to let the matter go! It was ridiculous!

Well, one thing was for certain. He was waaay too persistent for his own good.

I was stuck. I needed to see the comments under the pictures to really hit the point in deep. So, gritting my teeth, I quickly ran a Google search for shirtless pictures of James Diamond, and clicked on another link. This one had pretty much the same pictures as the fan club one had, but this one also had comments under the pictures. Perfect.

Without warning, my bedroom door swung open, and Kendall poked his head in. "Katie, you okay? About James teasing you, I mean. You two were screaming at each other so loud that I think the neighbors downstairs complained – are those pictures of – ?"

Before I had a chance to stuff the pictures out of sight, Kendall lunged forward and snatched the pictures up. He rifled through them, his face steadily turning redder and redder, until he looked like an overripe tomato. Not a good look for him.

"KATIE!" he shrieked. "WHY – WHY – I MEAN – HOW – WHAT – WHY ARE THERE PICTURES OF JAMES WITHOUT HIS SHIRT IN YOUR ROOM?"

I went for the easy way out. "I'm planning on selling them to the highest bidder."

"Oh, okay."

It sounded just like something I would do, which was probably the only reason why Kendall believed me. Plus, the alternative was pretty disgusting.

Just as I was beginning to breathe again, my computer screen caught his eye, and he nearly threw himself onto my desk as he realized just what it was I was looking at.

Three…two…one…

"KATIE!"

Oh man. I was screwed.

"Yeah?" I asked innocently, gazing up at him, trying to make my large brown eyes even bigger than usual. Puppy dog eyes. Gets him every time. Except this time. Typical.

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING UP PICTURES OF JAMES, ONCE AGAIN SHIRTLESS, ON YOUR COMPUTER?"

I opened my mouth to explain about the project, which I should have done in the first place, except that it still felt kind of embarrassing to be writing about James's sex appeal, but Kendall refused to give me the chance.

"I mean, I understand you're eighteen and a girl and have needs, but this is taking it a little too far, don't you think? I mean, what would Mom say if she knew? And James? He already thinks you have a crush on him! You just fought tooth-and-nail against him when he was teasing you, and then I come in here and find out that you're looking up shirtless pictures of him? I mean, WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?"

"Kendall," I began, but once again was cut off by my loving brother.

"I mean, who knows what else you've been doing? Do you spy on him when he's in the shower? Have you put up cameras in his room?"

"Kendall – "

"Why Katie? WHY? WHY ARE THERE PICTURES OF JAMES SHIRTLESS IN YOUR ROOM AND ON YOUR COMPUTER?"

And that's when James appeared in my doorway.

Oh goody. More awkwardness. My favorite.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait," he said, blending the words into one, "did I hear right? Is Katie Knight looking up shirtless pictures of moi? Why Katie, I never knew you cared," he added with a wink.

I sneered at him, and opened my mouth to retort, but before I could, Kendall interrupted me. Again.

"SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER?" he shrieked at James, causing the brunette to leap backwards into the doorframe. "ALL OF YOUR TALK OF HER HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU AND WALKING AROUND THE APARTMENT SHIRTLESS HAS…HAS…DAMAGED HER MIND! SHE'S SO SEXUALLY IN NEED OF YOU THAT SHE'S RESORTED TO LOOKING UP SHIRTLESS PICTURES OF YOU ONLINE!"

Oh, yes. The nerve of me, acting like a teenage girl. How dare I? What was I thinking? Shame on me!

"Well, if that's the problem, then we can take care of those needs right here and now," James suggested, smirking at me as I face-palmed. Moron.

And that's how he ended up pinned against the wall by my big brother.

"If you even dare to lay a hand on my baby sister, you cocky bastard – "

"I didn't mean it like that!" James wailed. "I meant…uh…I could take my shirt off and let her admire my abs up close!"

I face-palmed again. He is such an idiot. And he totally meant it the way Kendall thought, that much is obvious, what with the way he smirked at me.

Kendall's face relaxed at the blatant lie…I mean James's – ahem – correction. "Keep your shirt on," he said simply and let James go. James huffed indignantly and yanked his shirt straight.

"Waitwaitwaitwait just a second," I cried, staring from Kendall to James. "I get caught looking up pictures of him online, with no chance to explain, and he practically propositions me and all he gets is a simple 'keep your shirt on'? What the hell is up with that?"

Kendall shrugged. "It's James. We all know what he's like."

James puffed his chest out like an angry peacock. "Ummm, excuse me? What do you mean 'we all know what he's like'? Are you implying something?"

Kendall patted him on the shoulder. "I just meant…well…you're kind of a man whore."

James immediately looked affronted. "I am not!"

"James, you all but propositioned me, and then when Kendall slammed you into the wall, you said you had meant that you would take your shirt off so that I could check out your abs. Think about it."

"Well, I – I – I – I – "

Kendall frowned. "So wait…he really did mean what I thought he meant?"

I face-palmed again. Why were all the guys in this apartment stupid?

James gave me a help-me-get-the-hell-outta-this-mess look, and I sighed. I needed to get myself out of this mess too. Time to start digging us out of the hole.

"Kendall, I wasn't looking up pictures of James for my own enjoyment," I said calmly.

James immediately began spluttering. "How-how-how-what-wha-geh. How can you not enjoy THIS?" he hollered, yanking his shirt up to reveal his perfectly defined abs. Drool time.

I didn't answer him, I just ignored him and turned back to Kendall. "It's for a project for my Publicity 100 class. We're supposed to do a paper on the sex appeal that celebrities hold, and how it can affect their image and all that crap. We were each given a celebrity, and I got stuck with that moron over." I jerked my thumb in James's direction, who immediately looked outraged.

"You got stuck with me? How can you get stuck with me? Have you not seen my abs?"

Never mind the moron-part, which questioned his mental abilities. Oh no, his body was the most important thing in this case.

James lifted his shirt up again to reinforce his point.

I raised my eyebrows coolly at him. "Very nice."

"Hah! You're only seeing my lower abdominals! You should see the rest of me!"

"Uhhh, we don't really need to see that – " Kendall began, but James had apparently gone psycho in the last five minutes.

He pulled his shirt up and over his head, revealing his perfectly sculpted upper body.

Crap.

Kendall and I stared at him wordlessly for several seconds before turning back to each other to get the rest of the conversation figured out.

"So you mean the only reason why you were looking up pictures of the shirtless idiot was for a school project?" Kendall asked, still sounding slightly skeptical.

"Yeah, you can look at the handout my dear, evil professor gave us – it has the instructions and everything on it. Oh, and I've also written the introduction, so…"

"I want to see the handout," Kendall told me, and I nodded, fishing it out of my backpack and handing it to him.

His eyes raked over it while James and I both watched him warily.

After about twenty seconds, Kendall handed the paper back to me, and I slipped it back into my bag.

"Whew! I am so glad that it was for a school project and not for…Eeeeew."

James sighed heavily as he grabbed his shirt and slid back on, messing his hair up slightly. "So you looking up shirtless pictures of me had nothing to do with you having a crush on me or my awesomely amazing body?"

I shook my head. "Nope, sorry."

"Well, I feel like an idiot. I think I'll just…go…yeah…" and he backtracked out of my room, just as the front door open and Logan and Carlos walked in, Carlos chowing down on a corndog and blathering on about how cute the girl at the hotdog stand was.

Logan rolled his eyes and immediately brightened up when he saw Kendall and me standing in my doorway, as James slowly drudged back to his room.

"What's up with him?" Logan demanded, jerking his thumb towards the retreating James.

"Oh, he thought for sure that Katie had a crush on him and now he's bummed out," Kendall said airily. He glanced at his watch. "Oh, good, time to go meet up with Jo…away from the insanity that is you guys."

Yeah. It's not like he was screaming accusations at me ten minutes ago and pinning his best friend to my bedroom wall. Nothing like that ever happens with him.

Kendall gave us the captain's solute and strutted out of the 2J as fast as he could without actually running. The door slammed shut behind him and Logan let out a long sigh.

"Poor James."

"Wha – wha- what do you mean poor James?" I spat out at him.

Logan threw me a look of pity. "Well, it's obvious that he likes you…as more than a friend, I mean."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh puh-leeze, tell me another one."

"Katie, I'm serious."

"Oh yeah? Then explain to me why the Great James Diamond would ever look twice at lil' ol' me? I'm supposed to be like his little sister."

Logan shrugged. "Does running around the apartment singing 'Katie's got a crush on me/Katie's got a crush on me' sound like he sees you as a little sister?"

I just stared at him. This was unbelievable. James couldn't possibly have a crush on me. I was his best friend's little sister! The idea was impossible! I mean, sure, I had a crush on him (which I still couldn't quite figure out myself, because about 75% of the time – 98% on a bad day – I wanted to strangle him), but there was no way James would ever like me…right? RIGHT?

Logan just threw me a knowing smirk before heading over to the couch so he could immerse himself in the latest Phoebe Nachee book. Why he's still in love with after she practically set a whole bunch of violent girls on him is beyond me, but that's attraction for ya…it makes no sense.

Carlos swallowed the last of his corndog and tossed the stick in the general direction of the kitchen garbage, missing it by about two feet. "Logan's right," he said, sounding a little less like he had just had a rock dropped on his head than usual. "James totally likes you. So whatcha gonna do about it?"

"Well, what can I do?" I asked desperately. "Kendall will kill James if he thinks that James sees me that way, and if Kendall thinks I like James as more than a brother…" I shuddered at that terrifying thought.

Carlos shrugged and patted his helmet. "Worry about that when the time comes. Now…go and get 'em, Katie-Kat!" and with those encouraging words, he gave me a shove in the direction of his and James's door. I glared at him, but nevertheless banged my fist against the wood.

"Come in," James called. His voice sounded both depressed and muffled, making my stomach twinge a bit for him, simultaneously wondering if he really could care about me as more than Kendall's little sister.

I pushed the door open and almost smiled at the adorably pathetic sight in front of me: James was lying on his stomach, face pressed in his pillow, while clutching a teddy bear.

"James, can we talk about what happened out there?" I asked, and he rolled over, rubbing at his face. He stared at me, then yelped and tried to hide the stuffed animal behind his pillow.

"James, it's okay, I've seen you with your stuffed animals before, it's not a big deal," I said, smirking. "I mean, maybe it is if you're trying to appear tough and all that jazz, but it's me. You don't have to pretend with me."

He eyed me warily. "What's your angle?"

"No angle," I promised, holding up my hands in the don't-shoot motion. "I'm just here to see if you're

okay, and…" Oh man, the opportunity was just too good to pass up... "Logan and Carlos think you have feelings for me."

James yelped even louder than he had when he realized I was in the room and he was holding a stuffed animal. "I – I – of c-c-c-course n-n – they're delusional!"

"Really? Because they actually agreed with each other. We can count on one hand how many times that's happened."

"Well, that doesn't mean anything!" he cried, leaping off his bed.

"Aaaannnd you were totally bummed because I didn't have a crush on you. I don't think that was just your vanity talking." And without further ado… "You like me/You like me/You like me/You like me!"

"I do not!" he protested, his face turning a bright red.

"Do too!" I oh-so maturely retorted.

"Do not!"

"Do too!'

"I DO NOT!"

"YOU DO TOO!"

"AAAAGH! YOU ARE SO ANNOYING!" he roared.

"So?" I taunted. "That doesn't stop you from having a crush on me."

"YOU…ARE SO…IRRITATING!" and he pushed me back against the wall, pressing his lips to mine. My fingers entwined themselves in his hair while he ran his thumbs up and down my sides. His tongue flicked at the entrance to my mouth, and I opened my lips enough so that he could slide his tongue in.

Finally, we both needed to breathe, and we pulled apart breathlessly.

James grinned cheekily at me, hands against the wall on either side of my head. "I knew you like me."

"You don't know squat."

"You kissed me back. That means…YOU LIKE ME!"

"Well, you kissed me, so that means that YOU LIKE ME BACK!"

"So you admit that you like me?"

"You are so aggravating!"

"Yeah, but it's fun to see you all hot and riled." He winked at me, and I grabbed his face, pulling his lips

down to mine.

When he finally stepped back, he paused, and then said, "You know, if you want, I could get you a signed picture of me shirtless…"

"You're obnoxious."

"But you love me for it."

"You're just lucky you're cute."

"So I've been told," and he kissed me again.

I finally pulled away from him, just as the front door opened and closed. Logan or Carlos must have been leaving again.

"If you'll excuse me, Mr. Diamond, I need to go and finish my paper for Publicity 100." I opened up his bedroom door and was just about to step out into the living room when James grabbed my arm.

"Okay, but when you're done, how about we go out tonight, just the two of us?"

I nodded and smiled at him. "Sounds good."

"WHAT?"

We both jumped and looked around to find Kendall gaping at us once again. Logan and Carlos were both sitting on the couch, right where I had left them…Oh. So Kendall was the one who opened and closed the front door. How about that?

"YOU'RE GOING OUT WITH – WITH – WITH – I LEAVE THE APARTMENT FOR TEN MINUTES, AND I COME BACK TO GRAB MY PHONE, AND WHEN I GET BACK I FIND OUT THAT YOU'VE GOT A DATE WITH – WITH – WITH HIM? BUT – WHY? WHY?"

James and I looked at each other, and then we turned back to Kendall.

"Well Kendall," I said. "It's for a school project."

Okay, so I kind of suck at endings. I never know how to end my stories!

Sorry if there's any parallels or similar patterns to "Hot Water" (and I'm pretty sure there is). It's just the way my mind works.

So...I hope you enjoyed the story, maybe got a good laugh or at least a smile from it, and hopefully don't think it was too ridiculous!

Now...the review button's lonely, and it could use some company...so...Please review? ;)