Monster

( Description: Song fic/story based loosely on Monster by Lady Gaga. Some lyrics changed or removed to fit my strange plot. Leah and Sam before, during, and after there relationship. What if Leah hadn't waited until Harry died to transform? What if Sam was the cause of her change? I disclaim all characters, unless Stephanie would like to give them to me for a bit, and all original lyrics to Monster.)

'I've never seen one like that before'

'Don't look at me like that'

'You amaze me'

We sat on the swing set behind the old, La Push church, as we always did on nights like this. The dark sky was littered with stars and there reflection shown in Sam's chocolate eyes. He sat in the swing beside me, with his hand in mine and my heart in his. I knew he was the only man I would ever be able to let into my guarded heart. Before him I had never wanted a relationship, or a family. Never dreamed I would ever want one. But he was different. Not untrusting, or selfish as my past experiences with men had been, but honest and nurturing.

His gaze drifted to mine and I melted beneath his dark stare. My hands trembled and a shiver ran down my back as I saw something in his eyes I couldn't quite place. His eyes drifted down from my face and wondered briefly over my body. A blush creped under my skin and I was thankful he wouldn't be able to see it in the scarce midnight lighting.

"You're blushing." He stated, grinning. Well, I thought the darkness would hide me. I lowered my head and my blush deepened. His hand found my chin and his moved my head up so that my eyes met his. We turned toward each other, earning a groan from the chains on the swings, and he moved his toward me. I felt my heart accelerate to an almost painful level and a grin spread on his face, almost as if he could hear it. He moved his lips to mine slowly and as they met fireworks erupted under my skin. My flush covered my body now, but from desire rather than embarrassment and I moved my lips against his. I had never done this before but as our lips dance, I let him lead and it was amazing. He stood up abruptly, pulling me up after him, and I melted into his arms. Our lips met again and as his tongue traced my lips, I shuddered and granted him access to my mouth. His tongue danced with mine, and soon mine joined his. It felt better than anything I had ever experienced, and I gave a small whimper when he pulled away. He chuckled and pulled me to him, and I buried his face in his chest. We stood like that for a long time before he chastely pecked me on the lips and walked me home. We talked on my porch for a long time before the clock struck 2:00 A.M. and my curfew was up. He hugged me again I would have been content, in that moment, to remain like that for eternity. His always warm skin burned between us and his muscled chest raised against me with every breath. He lowered his head to my ear and goose bumps appeared on my neck, I could feel his smile against me when he saw them but mentioned nothing about it. Instead, his cool breath hit my skin as he said the words I had been dying to tell him for weeks now.

"I love you Leah." He opened the door for me and, as cheesy as it sounds, a single tear flowed down my cheek. I pulled him to me once again and rested my chin on his chest. I looked up at him as my lips formed the words, "I will always love you Sam." I reluctantly pulled away from him as I heard my father stir upstairs and stepped through the doorway. I gave Sam a smile but said nothing else before closing the door and skipping down the hall to my room.

'He ate my heart
He a-a-ate my heart
(You little monster)'

'He ate my heart
He a-a-ate my heart out
(You amaze me)'

I knew it wouldn't last! I ran from the room that had become my sanctuary for the past three days. I hadn't moved from the small bed in my room, save to use the restroom, for three days. I hadn't eaten, or spoke, or moved, and I certainly hadn't cried. I couldn't let myself cry, because to do that would be to admit that I had let him in to deep. I couldn't let myself but now it was not a choice. I reached the edge of the woods and broke down in the remembrance of our last night together.

As a rule over the past broken desolate days I had not allowed myself to think of it. To think of him. But Sam's constant calling me and coming over wasn't helping my resolve. Not that I ever let him see me or spoke to him, but I had to think of Sam each time my mother came in to tell me that he wished to talk to me. I had to consciously remind myself that I didn't want to see the man who had ruined me. And this last time when he had stormed into my house I had heard his voice and the memories flooded into me without my consent. He stayed outside my room for hours until my mother made him leave. Once I was sure he had walked far enough away not to hear me, I ran out of the room and out of my house and hoped to run out of life all together. Instead I ended up crouched on the muddy ground of the forest beneath a dying tree that was older than time.

Images came to my mind and I cried out in the agony they brought. I felt rain drops begin to hit me but for once I didn't care. I was far to broken to care about anything or so I hoped…

'Look at him. Look at me

That boy is bad and honestly

He's a wolf, in disguise

But I can't stop staring in those evil eyes'

I wasn't sure why I came here. I still didn't feel like being here. I had been sick since the day after Sam and I confessed we loved each other, the day of his betrayal, and to upset to see anyone. I guess I had come to please my parents, who had been pleading with me to get out of the house for two weeks now. I wasn't sure what they were worried about. I went to school, I came home, I did homework, I went to bed, and I repeated. They seamed suspicious the first week, then worried for a week, then desperate for the last two. It had only been those last two weeks that they started begging, however. So finally when the threat of taking me to a therapist appeared I gave in, and went to see my cousin, Jacob.

The Black's house was warm, as usual, when I walked up from the back. I had traveled through the woods to delay the dreaded arrival and even contemplated not going in and just letting my parents believe I had gone, but I knew Billy would tell my dad the truth when they went fishing on Sunday, and then I would be off to a shrink. I walked around the small cottage to the front, and when I was even with the front of the house I froze. A familiar blue truck was parked in the gravel drive, and I wanted nothing more then to run. Away. But the sight before me caused my feet not to respond to my commands.

Sam was standing on the porch, with Jacob and Billy standing in the doorway, with his arm firmly tucked around some WAY to familiar. My cousin Emily, who had come into town (but whom I hadn't come out of hiding long enough to even see) three weeks ago, was standing by the monster who had all but killed me. They were both laughing with the Black's and my stomach churned at the betrayal. Her face turned towards his and she pressed her lips to the spot mine had been only a month ago. A month ago TODAY. Heartache turned to rage and it boiled under my skin. Pain crackled under my spine and I wailed in anger. Sam and Emily turned to face me and her confusion led me to gather he hadn't even told her about me. My body started shaking uncontrollably and Sam's horrified face only fueled my wrath.

'That boy is a monster
M-M-M-Monster
That boy is a monster
M-M-M-Monster
That boy is a monster
Er-er-er-er

He ate my heart
(I love that girl)
He ate my heart
(Wanna talk to her, she's hot as hell)'

Pain shot down my back again and I wailed, shakily, while dropping to my knees. I understood the anger but not the pain, and I couldn't think about it to try and make sense of it. Not now. Sam turned toward Jacob and Billy with a knowing look I didn't understand and Sam motioned for them to take Emily inside. "NO!" I screamed. I didn't want Emily to be with Sam. I thought he would follow her in and I knew he was a monster, even if she didn't. Yet.

Sam didn't follow Emily in. Instead, he and Jacob approached me slowly and I screamed as the pain rocked through my body again. "Leah." Sam said my name slowly but it still caused a revolting churn of my stomach. "We need to take you home now Leah." Jacob's voice was shaky with fear and dread and I had no idea what was happening. Sam's face brought back flashes of us together and I screeched when I couldn't make them stop.

'He licked his lips
Said to me
Girl you look good enough to eat
Put his arms around me
Said "Boy now get your paws right off me'

We were at the park, at the movies, we were on my porch when he told me he loved me, and finally I saw the one I dreaded most. It always turned up last when I had flashes like these, but it was always the most vivid. I had had the dream since the first night I met Sam. He was lurking in the woods as I wandered along, lost. And he jumped out onto the trail ahead of me, I was always afraid until I saw him and my fears eased. But they shouldn't. He was the scariest person I had ever met, and not only in the dream. His black eyes stalked me as they would stalk prey and my heart would begin to race and he would say "Girl you look good enough to eat." He licked his lips and lunged at me and I barely moved in time before he pounced onto where I had just been. A growl ripped from his lips and his body transformed into that of a great black wolf that stood taller than me. I always started to run then, though I knew it would do no good and within a minute he was always pinning me to the ground with one massive paw. That was when I always woke up, usually screaming, and that was where I woke from my stupor now, screaming.

Sam's arms were on my shoulders as he began to lift me up but, I smacked his hands away from me and said "Get your paws off me." I steadied my feet beneath me and stood up slowly before pain shredded my resolve and tears rolled freely from my eyes.

"He ate my heart
(I love that girl)
He ate my heart
(Wanna talk to her, she's hot as hell)

That boy is a monster
M-M-M-Monster
That boy is a monster
M-M-M-Monster
That boy is a monster
Er-er-er-er

He ate my heart
(I love that girl)
He ate my heart
(Wanna talk to her, she's hot as hell)"

He ate my heart
He ate my heart"

Rage again came in waves, and I couldn't control the pressure building inside me any longer. I let out a shriek which caused both Jake and Sam to step back and fell to all fours where fury, and fur erupted from my body. Wait. Fur?

"He ate my heart then he ate my brain
Uh oh uh oh
(I love that girl)

That boy is a monster
M-m-m-monster
(Could I love him?)

That boy is a monster
M-m-m-monster
( How could I love him?)

That boy is a monster
M-m-m-monster
(I still love him?)

That boy is a monster
Er-er-er-er"

All of my bones broke at once, and I let out an earsplitting cry of agony. Before I could quit wailing, the bones had healed into a very different shape. The shape of a great wolf. My mind darted to my dream and I realized that Sam must have done this to me. He had broken me; he had eaten my heart, and captured my mind after I let him in. He was truly a monster, and now I was too.

-Jaz

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