Title: Hunting Like a Man
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Kamina, Simon
Spoilers: for the first 3 episodes of TTGL, I think :D
Genre: humour, adventure
Warning: none
Word count: 308
Summary: Kamina decides to teach Simon how to hunt like a manly man should.
Now that they were out on the surface, Kamina could devote his endless supply of energy and unyielding spirit to a new project. At first Kamina thought that getting a Gunman would be his new goal, but it turned out to be achievable surprisingly easy. However, there was one thing nobody had achieved before, and Kamina was the manly man who had to walk down that untrodden path.
He would teach Simon how to hunt in a manly manner.
- Now, the first thing you do is get closer to the grapehippo. Be careful so it doesn't notice you. You must be quiet and stealthy like me! I am so stealthy I can steal the nest from under a sleeping racoonbird! I'm the great Kamina-sama, the majestic hunter in the...
- Aniki, the grapehippo ran away. I think it heard you.
Kamina decided that the basics of ambushing animals were clear enough, they should proceed to the difficult part – shooting.
-See here, Simon? You must aim ve-r-r-ry carefully. Only when you're sure that you'll hit the grapehippo, you must pull the trigger, and just watch your prey collapse. Like this!
-Aniki, the hippo is still standing.
-Wait, I'll do it again!
-Aniki, are you sure you're doing it right?
-Believe in me, Simon! Hey grapehippo, take this! And this! And this!
-Aniki, you hit a racoonbird! You're so awesome!
Kamina decided that he had shown Simon the basics of hunting, only one last little thing remained – the table etiquette.
-And remember, Simon, forks and knives are for wusses. Real men just go 'chomp'! ...
-Aniki, are you ok?
-Shure! I jusht fink I broke my teef. Damn bird hash sho many bonesh...
But at least at the end of the day Simon understood one thing – the manly way of hunting was the most difficult and the least efficient.