I started writing this story about three or so years ago. It was the first story I ever attempted to publish for others to read. I had a difficult time with it so I started on other projects and put this one on the backburner for awhile. I have a few other stories up now but I've been watching Instant Star again and I've been feeling inspired. I've had a few readers ask me to continue with this story… so I've decided to rewrite the chapters that I have. Upgrade if you will. I hope you enjoy the rewrite and please make sure to leave me a review if you read.

Tommy's POV -

Tommy wished he could make sense of his actions as he found himself waiting just outside of that familiar polished wooden door. He kept his eyes down, both hands clenched around the steering wheel of his blue viper. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, letting it out through his nose. Why did he keep doing this to himself? He knew how it made him feel, the physical pain of the heart ache, to the point of being sick to his stomach. It was like a drug, he needed to hold on to the memory, despite the negative side effects.

The familiar click of the front door's latch sounded pulling him out of his inner turmoil as he automatically glanced towards it. He could feel the leap his heart took as if the very memory was enough to trigger the instinct. This was how his heart had reacted whenever he saw her coming out that door, knowing that he was going to get to spend as much time as he wanted, doing something they both loved together. Sorrow interlaced any other emotions that swept through his eyes as he reminded himself that he had no reason to react that way.

He knew his eyes had the potential of betrayal, a bottomless pit of pain that never went away and probably never would. Still he didn't need to give those around him more of a reason for concern. He had managed alright here lately, there were no fake smiles, but he could fake nice if he had to, put on the right mask for the right people. He managed to keep the painful throbbing of his heart off of his features as Kwest came out the door. Sadie followed, wearing a silk cover up that stopped just at her thighs, holding the fabric across her chest with her arms. Tommy watched as she said a few words, unable to hear and unable to care. Kwest had a quick reply, but Sadie wasn't having it as she reached forward, taking him by the hand and pulling him back to face her. With what seemed like flawless effort she pushed herself onto her tip toes and pressed her lips against his. Tommy cast his eyes downward, PDA wasn't something he was ready to confront and he could feel a surge of jealousy run through him, even though part of him knew he had no right to be. The two of them deserved to be happy and after everything that had happened with Darius, he shouldn't resent that.

He kept his head down as the passenger door was opened and Kwest slid into the seat. He paid more attention to the act of inserting the keys into the ignition and switching the car on than was necessary. "Hey" was all he managed for a greeting, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He couldn't help himself as he glanced towards the steps where Sadie stood, hugging that cover tightly around her body. Her eyes locked with Tommy's and she offered a smile, lifting her hand slightly, almost awkwardly. Tommy couldn't return the gesture, he recognized that look in her eyes, something that he found in a lot of expressions anymore. Pity. He didn't need any of their understanding, he just needed them all to leave him alone. A mixture of anger and embarrassment was building as he revved his engine, throwing the car in reverse and hitting the gas. There was a screeching as he hit the brakes and shifted before speeding off down the road.

Kwest through his hand forward, using the dashboard to steady himself "easy" he said as he straightened himself in his seat and reached for the seatbelt. He didn't need to be caught in Tommy's downward spiral. Still, he felt an obligation to be there for his closest friend, despite Tommy's refusal to talk about it.

"What's up man?" Kwest asked in an attempt to keep things normal, something he did every morning. Tommy made little indication that he had heard Kwest aside from the short reply "another day…" this was a typical reply anymore. Kwest didn't look away, his concern growing "you know you don't have to keep picking me up in the mornings, I get it if you don't…" he paused as Tommy shot him a silencing glance "it keeps things normal" he replied. He couldn't admit the real reason, although a part of him was sure that Kwest already knew.

He held the gaze for a second longer than he probably should have and once again he registered the pity in Kwest's eyes. He glanced away, angry with himself for showing too much emotion and angry at Kwest for picking up on it. There had been a time when he could tell the guy anything, could go to him with the truth and expect an honest opinion in return. He couldn't do that anymore, not with this, he wasn't ready to confront those feelings, he didn't think he could handle it if he tried. He could feel Kwest staring at him, realizing that his thoughts were registering on his face before he managed to hide it again under his careful composure. "Come on man, don't do that… I know what's going on, alright?"

Tommy's knuckles tightened around the steering wheel and he had to focus on steadying his breathing before he could reply "I don't know what you're talking about". Kwest shook his head "don't give me that, you know what I'm talking about. I know you Tom. Look… it's been 3 months. She's not coming back. You need to move on…" he knew that Tom would take these words hard, but he needed to hear them. There was a part of him that if he forced him to talk about it, even if it was through anger, then maybe he could put it behind him, at last.

The viper pulled into the back alley behind G-Major before Tommy slammed the breaks, his tires screeching as they had before. He seemed to have a difficult time keeping his emotions under control and Kwest began to wonder if he was about to be punched for his words. Tommy took a moment, gathering his thoughts before at last he trusted himself to speak "I'm fine, there's nothing to move on from…" he managed, unable to meet his eyes as they were dead giveaways to his real emotions. He wasted no time parking and getting out before Kwest had any time to say something more. He didn't want to deal with this right now, he had other things he needed to be focusing on.