A/N: Hey peoples I got the idea for this from reading absolute boyfriend but no worries it's not going to be the same the only thing similar is that Sasuke is going to be a robot and that's it everything else is straight from my crazy town of a brain

Warning: this story contains YAOI that's boy love people! So if you don't like that TURN BACK NOW!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto

Naruto was never one to complain, really. He believed you should take what life deals you head on, without question, no looking back and no complaining. But when he opened a package from his crazy ass cousin and stared down at what better not be what he thinks it is, well I think it's obvious that that way of thinking was thrown out the window and he could only think of one thing to say,

"What... the fuck?"

I appear to be getting ahead of myself let me start over.

Naruto had been at work and like most people do in this day and age, he believed he worked with complete idiots. But as stated before he wasn't one for complaining, so when Sakura was so busy trying(and failing) to flirt her way through life that she accidentally shredded the files that needed to be brought up to the big boss, he ever so graciously(with a slight twitch in his brow) offered to redo them and take the blame.

And when the new guy, Sai, had ended up making an ink bomb when he put too much of the stuff in the copy machine(honestly you would think a so called artist would know when he's using too muck ink) he had given up his lunch break to help him clean the stuff up. I mean sure he was daydreaming about different ways to torture him the whole time, but he kept it to himself and helped the idiot. And when his best friend Kiba had been caught peeping in the girls bathroom and all the girls had ganged up on him to beat the crap out of him he of course pulled up a chair, ripped open a bag of skittles, and preceded to laugh his ass off. What? He can't help everyone you know.

And in case you're wondering, yes, this all happened in the span of one day. So when he was finally off and allowed to leave he was so dead tired, with a pounding headache to boot, that when Lee came to him screaming about some youthful get-together with the rest of the guys later on he had to be restrained from stapling his mouth shut and bashing his head in with said stapler. Hey he doesn't complain but let it never be said that Naruto cant get violent. Lee on the other hand just looked at Naruto like nothing had happened and ask, "So my friend how about it?" Naruto gave Lee a tight smile and replied, "Not today Lee, may be some other time." and left before he could reply.

When he finally got home he made himself a cup ramen and sat down to watch some tv. About an hour later his cellphone rang. He looked at the caller ID and groaned when he saw his cousin's name pop up, but answered anyway.

"What do you want Kyuubi?" he asked annoyed.

"Is it there yet?" was the reply.

Naruto gave his phone a suspicious look and replied, "Is what here yet?"

"Oops never mind then call you later!" was the hasty response before the line went dead.

Naruto gave his phone an incredulous look and was about to start screaming some very not nice things at it when, as if on cue, the door bell rang. Now normally he would have just got up and answered but the call he just received was making him glare at the door like a mass murderer was gonna jump through it any second, so instead he called out, "Who is it?" "Delivery!" was the reply he got.

"Oh fuck." he thought and, deciding it was rude to keep delivery men waiting, he got up and slowly ever so cautiously answered the door. Outside were three men all wearing the same light brown shirt and shorts, two of which were holding a box that was at least six feet long and three feet wide. The one in front of him held up a medal clipboard with some paper attached and said, "Sign here please." Naruto just nodded dumbly and did as asked to busy wondering what the hell was in the box. The man in front looked at the paper said, "Ok." and nodded to the two holding the box. Naruto moved out of the way as the men took it upon themselves to enter his home, they went to the living room, gently placed the box on the floor, and politely nodded goodbye as they left.

Naruto locked the door and slowly crept to his living room and preceded to eye the box like it was a bomb ready to go off. He kicked it lightly with his foot and jumped back and, when nothing had happened a second later, deemed it somewhat safe. What? You never know what to expect from a crazy cousin like Kyuubi. He's a mad scientist! Well not really just a scientist that's won three Nobel prizes.

But hey not much difference. Naruto noticed an envelope stapled to the box and ripped it off, opened it up, and took the note out to read it.

Dear Naru-chan,

You know I love you, and I know you don't get out much anymore and seeing as that is unacceptable for a cousin such as mine I have decided to send you one of my newest creations, and don't worry you can thank me later! Now be good and play nice and I'll check up on you soon!

Love,

Your Cousin Kyuu

teehee XP

"'Teehee' my ass you son of a bitch. And don't call me Naru-chan!" thought Naruto his eyebrow twitching. He sighed and decided he might as well open it up so he went to the kitchen, got a steak knife, and carefully preceded to open the box but when he did he almost screamed like a little girl. Inside was a person who looked to be sleeping. He was completely black and white, with pale skin, raven hair, black shirt and pants, and a white tag on his foot. Naruto stared at him for a full five minutes before,

"What... the fuck?" "Did I just get sent a dead body?"

TBC

A/N: well review and tell me how I'm doing!