Summary: This is set just after the break-up episode. Santana comes back to McKinley with a mission
Song: Good bye my lover - James blunt
Please read the lyrics because they are important and inspired the story.
Good bye my lover
For the first time since their break-up, Santana Lopez walked through the McKinley hallways, trying to find her bubbly blonde. She was nervous. Nervous for what she was about to do for the second time. Pondering over what she intended to do; Santana didn't hear the person that was rounding the corner in front of her so bodies collided. "Ow! Watch where you're going! You d…" The Latina quickly swallowed the insult that was about to roll off the tip of her tongue when she saw who was in front of her. A tall woman with blonde hair and gray eyes that looked very familiar. The woman always reminded her of Phoebe from 'Friends'.
"Mrs. Pierce? I'm s-sorry I bumped into you. How are you? What are you doing here?" The only other blonde who could make Santana nervous and excited at once besides Brittany was Brittany's mom. She adored Brittany's mom ever since her and Britt became friends. Mrs. Pierce and her daughter are very alike and Santana learned fast where Brittany's got her quirkiness and unique mind got from. "Wow hold on Santana! What's with the twenty questions?" Mrs. Pierce said with a smile before she continued. "First of all, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Lisa? Mrs. Pierce sounds so old. Secondly, I'm here to drop off Britt because ever since her stupid ass girlfriend 'broke up' with her, she's even more confused than ever. And other than losing my future daughter-in-law, I'm good" Mrs. Pierce brought her hand up, to put a loose stray of raven hair behind the girl's ear and softly pinched her cheek.
"How are you sweetie? What happened? Please explain it to me because Brittany won't talk to me and I really don't understand…" Mrs. Pierce's eyes were full of concern when she watched Santana trying to find the right words. Mrs. Pierce was devastated when she heard the news. Although the Latina caused some trouble over the years, the older Pierce loved her nonetheless. She always felt like she had three daughters instead of two. She even saw how in love Brittany and Santana were before any of them knew. Heck she already secretly started planning their wedding. But now that was a far away dream. She kept staring at Santana until she got her answer.
"I-I don't really know myself Mrs. P…I mean Lisa" Santana quickly corrected her error. "You know I love her but then I screwed up…" Santana saw Mrs. Pierce looking intently and saw her roll her eyes with a face that said yeah you screwed up alright. But then Lisa's look softened when she saw Santana was on the verge of tears. "And now I don't know what is going to happen. What if she falls in love with someone else? What if I lose her? It's all my fault." Santana just wanted to drop to the floor, crawl into a hole and hide forever in her self-pity. Mrs. Pierce engulfed Santana in a big warm hug and kissed her on her forehead. Santana let the tears that were in the corner of her eye run free and roll over her cheeks while the blonde soothingly rubbed circles on her back. They just stood there for a couple of moments before Santana pulled back and stared at big, grey eyes. "Is she here?"
"Yes, Britt is in the choir room practicing"
Santana let out a breath she was holding since she bumped into Brittany's mom and wiped away the tears on her face with the back of her hand. "Thanks Mrs. P. I'm going to go see her now if that's ok. We really need to talk..." The older blonde hugged her tightly once more before she stepped aside so Santana could pass by. A small smile spread across her mouth and she took a step into the direction of the choir room when a hand held her wrist to let her come to a stop. "Tana? You know I love you but if you break my baby's heart again I will endz you…understood?" Santana's eyes went wide at this and she nodded quickly. "Oh and remember… 'A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.' "
Santana smiled when she heard those words. It was Brittany's favorite quote. When they were kids and Brittany got home crying because she was sad because some kid made fun of her for not being 'book smart', her mom always said those words to cheer her up. Off course seeing Santana kick a boy in the nuts always cheered her up too, but when she heard those words, it reminded her of her and Santana.
"Thank you" the Latina almost whispered before she was about to make her way across the hall. Mrs. Pierce quickly hugged her again before she left the school. Determined to complete the mission she planned, she walked to the end of the hall.
Santana lowered her pace when she approached the choir room. The sound of notes flowing of a piano reached her ears and silently peered through the glass of the door. The choir room was completely empty except for Brittany, who was sitting at the piano. Pale, long fingers traced fluently over the keys. Santana was completely astonished. She didn't know Brittany could play the piano. She thought it was one of the most beautiful things she had ever heard. The melody the blonde was playing was jolly and playful like herself and she seemed to enjoy it very well. After a couple of minutes the melody changes and turns into a heart breaking melody with a slow pace. By then, Santana already slipped into the room without Brittany noticing, who continued playing the melody. And then Brittany started singing.
*Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.*
Santana couldn't believe her ears. Brittany thought it was her fault! She couldn't let this happen. She wanted to stop Brittany right then and there. Tell her it wasn't her fault but Santana's. That she screwed up, and that SHE was the one who let their love down. But she couldn't. She looked at the blonde's face, eyes closed, brows furrowed. She couldn't interrupt, so she just listened. She listened intently to the lyrics and to Brittany's beautiful voice that was drenched with sadness and sorrow.
*You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.*
She remembered how she and Brittany would lay in her bed and talk about their dreams and goals. Brittany hadn't really had a big dream until Santana told her she could dance professionally if that's what she wanted to do. Brittany didn't dare to dream it because she didn't think she was good enough but Santana convinced her otherwise and by the end of the summer they collected all the possibilities for Brittany to dance.
*And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.*
Thoughts of Santana's body close to Brittany's, made the Latina shiver. They've always been very physical but not just only sexually. They've always been very intimate with each other. Everything could be said with just one touch or one kiss or even just one look. They know each other inside out.
*Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.*
A single tear streamed down on Brittany's cheek and silently fell down. Santana's breath stay in her throat as she was speechless.
*I am a dreamer and when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the mother of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.*
They had their whole life planned out together. They were going to graduate college, move to New York, get married and start their own family. Those were their four life goals and they were planning on doing It together but now that was all gone.
*Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.*
Santana was now full on crying too. She couldn't hold the tears back any longer but she remained silent to not disturb Brittany. The blonde was crying fully too but kept on playing and singing. Santana thought it was the most beautiful thing Brittany has ever sung. Filled with so much emotion and passion.
*And I still hold your hand in my mine.
In my mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.*
As the last notes died away, both girls remained silent, still shocked by the heaviness of their emotions. Brittany snapped out of her daze when a familiar scent tingled her senses. Slowly she turned her head until she was met with the sight of a broken Santana. "San? W-What are you doing here?" Brittany almost whispered, too scared that this would be a dream and if she was being too loud she would snap out of it. She tried wiping away her tears but the just kept coming. The same for the Latina. Their eyes locked and instantly their eyes were in a silent conversation about how much they miss each other. How Santana was sorry and most of all how much they loved each other. But this times that wasn't enough. Words need to be said so Santana swallowed her fears and took a few steps into Brittany's direction.
"I-I.." Santana's voice was raspier than usual so she cleared her throat and started again but was interrupted by Brittany. "Look Santana I know we broke up but I still love you…every time I think about you I get sad and I think about you all the time so I'm always sad now. I know it's all my fault but can't we talk about it? Please? If you really don't want me anymore I understand and I will try and forget you even though I know I never could. Maybe if you tell me what I did wrong, I can fix this and.." Brittany was now interrupted by Santana who put her hand over the blonde's mouth so she would stop talking.
"Britt, stop saying it's your fault because it' not! It's my fault. I'm the one who caused this, not you." Santana took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a minute. When she opened her eyes again and looked at the piercing blue ones in front of her. Her heart broke all over again. The look in Brittany's eyes was unbearable but at the same time , she couldn't advert her eyes. Blue orbs full of confusion, sadness and heartache.
"We have to talk Brittany, it can't go on like this. Britt I'm actually here to do something. Something I have done before right here in the choir room. I'm here to tell you I love you."
"Remember when I was singing 'Songbird' to you?" Brittany nodded and a smile came upon her face. "Off course I remember silly, it was one of the happiest days of my life."
Santana smiled too now. "Remember how scared I was for anybody to find out and then I let you down by not coming to your show . I was so scared back then because I thought other people opinions mattered more to me than yours. But then I finally got it together. And all that time you still loved me. After everything I've put you through, you loved me unconditionally. I was so stupid back then that I almost lost you.
Two weeks ago I did the same thing but then on top of that I broke your heart and for that I will never forgive myself. I got scared again. Scared to lose you. Being so far away from you made me thinking a lot of stupid things. I thought that with you not near me I would fall back into my old habits of cheating. When that girl smiled at me and I smiled back I thought that I already was cheating on you. But I promise I would never do that. So I got scared and doubted our relationship but that was the biggest mistake of my life." Brittany eyes beamed with hope and she took a step closer toward Santana so that their face where now inches away, blue eyes still locked with brown ones.
"Britt I'm here to apologize, and to ask you if you would give me another chance. I will…" Santana was interrupted by Brittany's lips crashing into hers. Brittany didn't need any more words. Their kiss was full of hunger and need. It was rough and fast. Brittany took Santana's bottom lip in her own and then her tongue grazed over the top of Santana's plump lips. Santana pulled back, in need to say the most important words. "I love you so much." A toothy grin appeared on Brittany's face. "I love you too San. Forever." And then their lips were sealed together again softly with the promise to never let go again.
song: Goodbye my lover - James Blunt
quote: Rupert Brooks