First Love, a nightwing fanfic

Title: First Love

Author: Simon

Characters: B/D/ Barbara/Alfred

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Dick and Barbara…and Bruce has problems with it, no surprise.

Warnings: none

Disclaimers: These guys aren't mine, they don't belong to me, worst luck, so don't bother me.

Archive: Fine, but if you want it, please ask first.

Feedback: Hell, yes. you to Lisa and Beth for beta. Good job, ladies.

I've no idea if Barbara was ever a Rhodes scholar, but she certainly seems like she should have been.

First Love

Alfred was the one who really noticed it first.

It wasn't anything obvious, not really. The boy was almost as good at hiding his feelings when he wanted to as the master—unless you were looking for it and then it was as plain as the nose on your face.

Dick had a crush on Barbara Gordon.

She was a lovely young lady, of course; intelligent, a charming personality with beautiful manners and, well, just a lovely girl. She was the sort any family would be proud to have their son bring home except for the one obvious fly in the ointment. The young woman in question was twenty-two years old and Richard was still only fifteen—and barely even that. In fact it had been at his birthday dinner just two weeks ago that Alfred had first become aware of the looks that were being exchanged across the table, the small inside jokes and the mutual blushes.

It was just a good case of puppy love on the young master's part, no doubt and nothing was likely to come of it. Really. Miss Gordon certainly had the sense to keep things in perspective and in all probability she had suitors her own age to spend her time with.

Or he certainly hoped that she did.

This would resolve itself in due course and he couldn't think of a single reason to bother Master Bruce with it.

It began a week later with a comment that even Alfred didn't attach any significance to.

"Hey, Alf? I'm going to catch a movie with a couple of friends this afternoon so don't worry about dinner. We'll probably stop and get something after. Okay?"

"That's fine, the master isn't expected home until later himself. And how are you getting to the cinema? Do you require a ride?"

"S'okay. I'll just walk over after track practice and I'll catch a ride back after."

"What film will you be seeing, might I ask?"

"Saving Private Ryan."

"Be sure to call if you'll be delayed." Promising that he would, Dick left as soon as he heard Steve's honk out front. A senior who was on the track team, he often picked Dick up for practice or a meet—but just sitting and honking? Dear Lord, if these children never learned basic manners, it would be the death of him.

Sure enough, Dick was back in the house by ten that evening to be met by Alfred just finishing up something or other in the kitchen. They had seen the film at the local multiplex then gone on to Roma's for pizza afterwards and had sat around talking. Yes, they'd had a good time but the movie was just okay. In fact Dick had been bored and hadn't paid much attention.

"You were bored by the story of D-Day? The barbarians are indeed at the gates so far as the younger generation is concerned, in fact I think I may go see that myself—I've always known history could teach us all a thing or two; unfortunately, I seem alone in my opinion."

It was only the next morning that Alfred noticed that Saving Private Ryan wasn't playing at the local places, and no, the bill hadn't changed over night.

Lying about where he was going wasn't like Dick, not at all—perhaps he should say something to the boy. After all, this sort of thing was hardly acceptable. A gentleman's word was his bond and all of that.

On the other hand he was young and—no. Lying about where he had gone last night wasn't acceptable. He'd say something the next day as soon as the boy got home from school around four.

The next afternoon four came and went, as did five, six and seven with no call. Concerned, but knowing the boy had a panic button should a real emergency occur requiring assistance, Alfred knew that in all likelihood the lad was simply having a good time and forgotten to call—typical, if annoying teenaged behavior. The tracking device the young master always had on him showed him to be at a single location in Gotham, an apartment belonging to Commissioner Gordon. It was close to the police headquarters and Alfred knew it to be used by Gordon when he was too busy to get home. It was often empty. As the hours crept by, though, he was about to inform Master Bruce when, finally at almost ten o'clock the front door opened and Alfred heard a car pulling away down the driveway. He found Dick up in his room, shirt already off, looking in the mirror and about to take a shower. The bruises on his neck and throat were all too apparent, as was the guilty look when he realized that the older man had seen the obvious evidence of what used to be referred to as a 'make out session' back in Alfred's day.

"Might I ask why you're only now getting home and why you didn't see fit to inform us of your whereabouts?"

"I, I was with a friend and I guess I lost track of the time." He was blushing.

Alfred gave him an appraising look. "And may I expect that will this be happening regularly from now on?"

"I'll call next time, Alf, I'm sorry. It was just, I—it got late and I …Is Bruce home?"

"Yes, quite. Please be sure it doesn't happen again, if you'd be so kind. Master Bruce is delayed with a charity dinner this evening; I don't expect him for at least another two hours. Now, I suggest that you get yourself cleaned up. Have you eaten?" Dick shook his head. "I shall find something suitable for you in the kitchen while you get ready. I also assume that you have homework to do?"

Dick ducked his head a little, knowing he was busted. "I forgot my books over at—I left them at a friend's house."

"I see. Well, it would seem you'll be paying a price after all." He turned to leave Dick alone to shower. "I would suggest that you wear turtlenecks for the next few days."

The next few weeks were quiet and Dick stayed closer to home, probably feeling chastised. The missing schoolbooks had been turned in to the school office early the next morning and Dick managed to get his homework done during first period study hall.

Alfred didn't tell Bruce about the incident, hoping that it was just a one off, but had warned Dick that should it be repeated, he would be forced to inform the master about what was going on. Dick thanked him and promised that it wouldn't happen again.

For several months he kept his word. He went to school as he always did, rode his moped home as usual. He did his homework, his grades remained high and Robin flew with Batman regularly. He spent time with the Titans and he even found some time to work on the new motorcycle Bruce had promised him—an old 1956 Ducati, the classic GP 125cc, the one that really got the company started. Batman had found it abandoned in an old warehouse during a stake out, along with a lot of other junk, so Bruce Wayne had found out who owned the derelict and bought it for a few hundred dollars. It was Dick's new project and his to keep if he got it fixed up; it would be a sweet machine when he was done with it.

He did call Barbara on the phone and they would meet on the weekends when they could arrange it, but the unexplained late nights were cut down to almost nothing.Neither Bruce nor Alfred said anything about his being with a girl, let alone one so much older than he was. If they knew about it, they kept the information to themselves—and it wasn't the sort of subject likely to come up during dinner at the Manor. They didn't know—or at least he hadn't told them, that she would occasionally meet him at school during lunch or pick him up after the last bell so they could spend a couple of hours together. He was always home before dinner, though. He made sure of that.

If Bruce had any thoughts about why Dick spent so much time on the phone in his room with the door closed, he kept them to himself. Beyond being simply a teenager, Dick was leader of the Titans, there were any number of things he could be talking about.

Or he did until the night he wanted to ask Dick a question about something or other and found him on the floor down in the study, math book opened in front of him and phone to his ear. Since the door was wide opened, Bruce heard Dick before he saw him.

"Well, sure, of course I miss you. You know that."… "A lot, that's how much."…"Well—sure…" "I don't know, Bruce wants me to do something this weekend, some kind of ski thing."… "Of course I'd rather be with you. So, why don't you come with us?"… "You can ski as well as I can."… "Well, fine, almost as well as I can. Besides, there'll be lot's of room; some friend of his is loaning us his chalet or condo or something."… "So we'll find a way to ditch the others, how hard can that be right? We can always meet back at the condo while everyone else is on the mountain."… "Don't tease me—really? You will? Oh, God, this is going to be so awesome."… "Friday, around two, come here, okay? We're taking the jet up."… "You mean it? You and me can drive up, just the two of us? That would be perfect."… "I'll just tell Bruce I can't get out of school because of a test or something, you pick me up at school at noon and we'll go. God, this is going to be so great."… "I love you, too. I'll call you later."… "Now you're fishing. You know I do, I do love you."

Bruce walked in just as Dick was hanging up the receiver, smiling and obviously happy, almost giddy.

"Who was that on the phone, Dick?"

Startled, blushing, Dick turned his head. "Ah, Barbara—Gordon. I asked her if she'd like to come with us this weekend. She said she would."

"I gather you two will be driving up together, after she picks you up early from school. You're planning to cut?" He saw the look on Dick's face. "I heard." He sat down on the arm of the leather couch, a few feet away from the boy. "You two have been seeing one another, haven't you?—and don't bother telling me that you're just friends, I've known about it for a while now. How long?"

There was no point is denying anything; Bruce always knew everything; he was the Bat, after all. He couldn't really have any major objections, though, not real ones—Dick was keeping his grades up and he'd practically collared Joker all by himself last week. It wasn't like he as slacking on anything. Besides, Bruce knew Barbara, knew how amazing she was. There was no way he could be upset. Okay, Dick knew better than that, but Bruce would be all right with it when he had time to get used to the idea. "Almost a year, nine or ten months, I guess. That isn't that a problem, is it?"

"Dick, how many reasons do you want?" Bruce watched the expressions on Dick's face, embarrassment and anger playing back and forth. "You've been sneaking around here for months and surely you know I'd want to be informed if you were—seeing—someone. You lied either outright or by omission. Add to that the fact that Barbara is seven years older than you are. I assume I don't have to remind you that you're legally still underage for anything you two might be doing. And now that I think of it, if you've been seeing one another that long, you were still fourteen when it started? Fourteen?"

"C'mon, Bruce, you know I'm a lot older than any other kid my age, and—God, you know that."

"That doesn't change the fact that you are only fifteen years old." Bruce paused, seemingly embarrassed. "You are taking care, aren't you? You're being safe with whatever you two are doing together, right?"

Dick's face went red again. "Yes, we're being 'safe'. I'm not completely stupid, you know." Bruce gave him a Bat look. "You want to see the box of Trojans? Besides, she's on the pill."

Bruce ignored the tone of what had just been thrown at him. If the boy was involved with someone Barbara's age it stood to reason that it didn't end with handholding, but even if Dick didn't think himself too young, how on earth could Barbara think he was ready for this? "Thank you, but that's not necessary. I just wanted to make sure—and don't you think you're a little young for that?"

"You're okay with my getting shot at, but I can't have a girlfriend? That's stupid."

"Dick, don't be disingenuous, you know as well as I do what the problems here are, no matter how careful you two think that you're being."

"The age difference doesn't matter to either of us."

"Obviously not, but it's going to matter a great deal to a lot of other people—does her father know?" Getting no answer, Bruce commented, "I suspected as much. Have you given any thought as to what the repercussions would be if the press got a hold of this?"

"Why would they care? I'm not you. I'm just…"

"My ward and she's the Police Commissioner's daughter and you're fifteen and underage. They'd have a field day and you know that. You've dealt with the press enough to know that you'll both be torn to pieces—either you'll be brought up as following in my dubious footsteps or she'll be painted as a cradle robber."

"And in a week they'll move on to some other equally non-story."

"Dick, I won't argue with you about this—I want this stopped, do you understand me? At the very least, I want this thing pulled back." Bruce stood up. This should be enough; Dick knew he disapproved, Barbara's father hadn't been told so she was obviously embarrassed on some level and Dick would have to understand that. "I'd like you to let her know that from now on, you two are just friends. In a year or two we can talk about this again, but for right now, I want this put on hold."

Dick looked at him as though he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. "No way."

"Excuse me?"

"I won't. I love Barbara and she loves me. I won't break it off with her."

"You'll do what I tell you to, am I making myself clear?"

"Or what?"

Bruce knew that Dick was becoming more and more independent as he got older, but this was the first outright defiance he'd had from the boy. "Do you really want to push me enough to find out?" That was it; he left to go down to the cave to prepare for the night's outing. Dick would be along in a little while, if he knew his Robins.

Around nine that evening Alfred knocked at Dick's room. "Master Dick, the Master is wondering if you're planning on joining him this evening."

Dick was up in his room, talking on the phone and it didn't take the world's greatest detective to figure out whom he was speaking with.

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"Not tonight, I'm busy."

"Shall I inform the master?"

His manners kicked in. "Yes, thank you. Please close my door, Alfred."

Almost a week went by. Bruce was busy with cases at night and a large merger during the day. On Thursday the intercom on his desk buzzed. "Mr. Wayne? Ms. Gordon is here to see you."

"Thank you, please send her in."

Bruce's secretary stood up, smiled at the young woman and walked her to Bruce's door, opening it and gesturing her inside then closing the door as she went in. His women were getting younger all the time. At least this one looked like she could hold a conversation about more than shoe styles.

Barbara stood in front of Bruce's desk. He was working on his computer and purposely, obviously ignoring her for the moment. Finally, with a final keystroke, he deigned to look up at her. "Be seated." It wasn't an invitation.

It may be Bruce Wayne's office, but it was Batman who was sitting behind the desk.

Mentally sighing, she complied. She knew why she was here and it was only because she didn't want Dick to have to listen to what his guardian would say that she agreed to meet him at Wayne Corp Headquarters this afternoon.

"I assume you know why I've asked you to come here and I also assume you know that I'm not happy with the relationship between you and Dick."

"And you want it stopped, I take it?"

"You know as well as I do that he's too young for something like this. If you insist on being involved with him, have the decency and the common sense to wait until he's at least of legal age."

Of course. It wasn't a surprise. "Was there anything else you wanted to say?"

"Have you considered what his reaction will be when you break this off with him? It's inevitable that you will, sooner or later. He's lost enough people he's loved in his life. You'll add to the pain he's already been through."

"But you want me to end it."

"I'd prefer if you'd never begun, but the sooner you break it off, the less he'll be hurt."

"We lo…"

"Spare me protestations of your undying love for one another. He's a fifteen-year-old child. End it now and he'll move on. Keep stringing him along and it will be harder for him."

"You should know him well enough by now to realize that even if I were to try to end it with him, he wouldn't accept it." She allowed herself an almost smile. "He's stubborn." A pause. "And for what it's worth, I'm not stringing him along."

"He's underage and he's a child. End it now."

"…Or else?"

"Or else I'll take steps myself."

"By having me charged with statutory rape or some such?" He wouldn't dare. He wouldn't put Dick through something like that. And she loved him. His age didn't matter to her any more than her age mattered to Dick. "Mr. Wayne, I know how old he is and I know the complications, but that doesn't change anything. Don't you think I've agonized over this? Do you really think I've not thought about this and what could happen?"

Bruce looked across the desk at her; she was looking at the Bat. "End it."

Rising, she said, "I'm sorry to have taken so much of your time, Mr. Wayne. Good Afternoon."

"What's wrong?" They were lying together on a nest of blankets and pillows in the pool house. Dick kissed her again, held her and stroked her bare arm. "Something's been on your mind all afternoon."

The 'talk' with Bruce had been on Thursday, today was Sunday and she'd agonized about what to do, how to handle this. She loved Dick and she knew he loved her, but what Bruce had said last week was only what she'd thought for almost a year now. He was only fifteen—it was true that he wasn't like any other fifteen year old on the planet, but fifteen he was. She turned to look at him; he was so sweet with her, so trusting and so completely in love. The purity of the expression on his beautiful face was enough to break her heart.

He didn't even shave yet.

But, maybe Bruce was right, at least for a while. Dear God, what was she thinking? Of course he was right.

"I'm going to be busy for the next few months." She saw the fear and suspicion start, but kept going. "I have a lot of research to go through on my thesis and if I get that TA position I'll have to grade all of the freshman papers, plus my Dad wants me to go with him on that conference to Geneva in a couple of weeks."

He was too smart for this to go by him. He knew the instant the words were out of her mouth. She watched his reaction, he knew what was happening; he deflated, his eyes locked on hers. "Bruce talked to you, didn't he?"

"Dick, he just…"

"He told you to break up with me, didn't he? He told me that he'd do something and—he did, didn't he?"

She didn't want to do this, but "He wants us to back off until you're at least legal and I think he's right."

Dick's breathing changed, became faster, uneven, his face was flushed and she thought she could see the beginning of tears held at bay. "…Did you decide this before you got here today? Did you plan to sleep with me once more as a goodbye? What? Is this your idea of letting me down easy?"

He had never seemed like a fifteen year old until this minute.

She looked at him for a moment. It didn't matter what she said; no matter what words she came up with he'd either not listen or put his own spin on it. The problem was that he was right. Bruce had spoken to her and this wasn't her idea, despite how much sense it made and how right he may have been about at least waiting until Dick wasn't a minor.

"If Bruce hadn't said anything, would you be doing this?"

Barbara started to say something, probably that she knew that Bruce was right, whether they liked it or not, but ended up just shaking her head; no, she wouldn't. Dick deserved better than that. "He didn't say anything I hadn't thought myself."

Dick sat up, reaching for his clothing, not looking at her, angry and hurt.

"I have homework to finish and you probably have things to do, too." Dressed now—he was nothing if not fast at getting changed, he stood looking down at her. "I guess you know your way out from here."

"Dick, please…" But he was gone, the door quietly closing behind him. Sadly, slowly, she put her clothes back on, folded the blankets and returned them and the pillows back to the couch. Walking around the outside of the large house, she settled into her car, turned on the ignition and left.

Several weeks went by and Dick never said anything to either Bruce or Alfred, though it was apparent to them both; Dick and Barbara had, for whatever reason, broken it off. Bruce, of course, assumed that his talk was what had done it, Alfred thought that the young lady had simply finally come to her senses.

Dick blamed both of them.

The weeks became months and Dick seemed to be fine to anyone who looked; his mask firmly in place. He was cheerful enough and did everything that was asked of him. His grades were as good as ever and Robin was focused and professional when he flew at night above the city. He carried out his duties with the Titans and he even, now and then, saw some of his school friends—though they were youngsters Bruce and Alfred didn't know. They seemed like a nice enough group of kids, though, so they didn't worry. They would come over to the manor now and then, a group of three of four young men. They would swim in the pool or use some of the equipment in the gym—the one that wasn't in the cave. They were polite and all were on the Honor Roll. Several of them were on various of the school's sports teams and both Bruce and Alfred were happy to see that Dick was expanding his circle of friends to people who had normal lives and didn't spend all of their spare time worrying about interplanetary criminals.

It was a nice change and Dick seemed to be thriving on the mundaneness of it.

As far as they knew, he made no effort to contact Barbara. He didn't seem to have found another young lady to take her place, either, but he was still so young and he was probably still nursing a hurting heart.

They understood and didn't question him about any of it, though Alfred did say once how it livened the place up a bit to have young people in and out they way they were, despite being eaten out of house and home. Dick smiled in response and said he was happy they weren't a problem.

Then Alfred found the letters.

He hadn't meant to pry and he certainly would never dream of invading the young master's privacy, but he was putting away some out of season clothing in the back of Dick's large walk in closet and the shoe box stored high on a shelf behind some sweaters fell when he tried to lift the ski boots in place. He wouldn't even have looked through them then, of course, if he hadn't seen the first line of the top sheet lying on the carpeted floor. It was dated less than week ago.

"I know it wasn't your idea. I'm not angry and I'm not upset any more—at least not with you. You were upset, I know that and I don't blame you. I didn't mean to be cruel to you, but the more I thought about it and the deeper we became involved I realized that we needed to step back a little and take a breath. You're not the only one who's young here, you know…"

It was from Miss Barbara, of course, and dated just a month ago. An answer in Dick's handwriting—likely a rough draft for his response, was written on the back:

"He thinks I'm over it, and over you. That won't happen, though. If we have to wait him out, then I guess that's what we'll have to do, but you know how much I want to be with you, don't you?

"There hasn't been a single night since I last saw you when I haven't thought about you and dreamed about you—Alfred's never said anything, but I think he's a little embarrassed about how often my sheets get changed.

"I made you blush, didn't I?

"I'll be sixteen soon, just a few more months and then we can see each other again. That's what he said—when I'm legal. March twenty-first.

"God, I've never wanted a birthday so much in my life…"

There was a stack of at least twenty or thirty letters, though Alfred refrained from reading any more. They hadn't arrived at the Manor so obviously the young people had arranged some sort of drop point or rented a mailbox or some such. The phrase 'all's fair in love and war' flashed through his mind. Good Lord, if the master should find out that the young people had been going behind his back to remain in communication all this time he'd be beside himself with anger and there would be repercussions—and it wouldn't be pleasant for any of them.

Perhaps if Alfred kept an eye on things, if he spoke to the young master himself, perhaps he could defuse the situation. There was no point in being premature with telling Master Bruce. If he could speak to Dick first, make him see reason…

So, there was no point in bothering Master Bruce about what may well be nothing. In truth, Dick had seemed fine the last few months. He'd been his usual cheerful, upbeat and dedicated self, dropping bad jokes as easily as he dropped his clothing on the floor. Master Bruce seemed not to have noticed anything bothering his partner and if anyone would notice something like that, it would be him.

Master Richard would be home from school in a couple of hours. Perhaps the best thing to do would be to simply and tactfully ask him if he and the young lady were still seeing one another or if they had made plans concerning their reuniting.

Alfred had been as shocked at Master Bruce when the extent of the relationship had come out, considering Richard's youth, but he wasn't what anyone could call a typical example of his age and so Alfred, though not thrilled, had privately felt that the master may have overreacted in the severity of his decision and risked the young man rebelling one way or another. A lighter touch may have stood them all in better stead.

Yes, a talk may clear things up and put his mind to rest.

"Ah, there you are. I prepared a plate of the cookies you're so fond of."

"Hey, great, Alf. Thanks." Dick dropped his backpack on the kitchen floor, along with his helmet. He usually rode his moped to and from school, weather permitting. He was at an age where independence was paramount.

"Please be seated when eating; we are do not live in a barn, Master Dick."

"Sorry." He dutifully seated himself at the oak table. "If it's okay, I have to go over to Tom's later. We have this lab report that we sort of got behind on and we have to get it finished by tomorrow."

"Tom? Does the gentleman have a last name?"

"Tom Howard, my lab partner. You've met him, he's been here swimming."

"Should I expect you for dinner?"

"Um, probably not. I'll either eat at his place or grab something in town so don't worry about it."

This was too convenient. Alfred sat opposite his charge. "Master Richard—Dick—I've never felt the need to question you in all the time you've lived here, but is that the truth?"

Dick looked up, startled. "Uh—yeah, of course. What makes you ask me that?"

Alfred held his eyes and slid the packet of letters onto the table. "I found these in your room this morning." He saw the shocked look on Dick's face. "I assure you that I wasn't searching for them, I was merely putting some things away in your closet and they fell off the shelf. Now, if you tell me you're going to work on a class assignment, I'll believe you. Is that where you're going?"

Dick sat back in his chair. "Did you read any of those?"

"I'm embarrassed to admit that I read a few lines of one of them, yes. You and Miss Barbara are evidently still close and have not ended your relationship as the Master wished."

"He had no right to try to force us to break up."

Alfred sighed. The youngsters had no idea, none, of the implications of what they were doing, of the possible complications they were courting. Should the press get a hold of this, should the Commissioner learn what had been going on, there would be long explanations to be made. "You know that he was merely concerned for you, for a number of reasons. Whether he was right or wrong in his concern, you also know that you were wrong to go about continuing your 'friendship' in secret."

"Alfred…" Dick looked like he really wanted the older man to understand. "Look, we know how old we are—how old I am, but we do love each other—and we were—are careful. Nothing…happened. We were always careful about that." He was blushing, embarrassed. Sex was something that was rarely discussed in this house.

"I'm glad to hear that, but you are, in fact, underage and you certainly both know that. In fact, you were technically breaking the law as you both well knew. In addition, and more importantly, you lied to us." He stopped Dick before he could protest. "You lied through omission by not telling us and allowing us to assume that you had complied with the master's request."

Dick's eyes were on the table, his voice quiet. "I love her, Alfred."

As if that explained everything.

"That may well be true, and if it is, your feelings will surely still be strong in another year. Furthermore, if the young lady returns your affections, she'll understand the need for discretion out of concern for what is best for you. Have I made myself clear?"

"Sure; break it off or you'll tell Bruce and then there'll be hell to pay."

"I wouldn't have used quite that phrase, but I think you understand the consequences of your continuing decision to flaunt the Master's wishes—which, I add, are merely wanting what will be best for you in the long run."

Dick stood up, the plate of cookies ignored. "I still have to go out. I'll be back later." They both knew he wasn't going to work on a lab report with a classmate.

"Master Dick, I think the master would appreciate if you were back to dine with him at seven."

Dick nodded. He knew how long his leash was and he'd reached its end. He still had to tell Barbara, though. He'd promised to meet her and he needed to explain in person. "All right, but my birthday is in a couple of months. After that, I'm going to see her and you can tell that to Bruce. I went along with this—mostly, anyway and when I'm legal we're going to see each other again. We'll be careful and discrete and all that, but I'm not going to end it and Bruce has to understand that."

During the moped ride to the waterfall in the old park where they'd been meeting for the last few months, Dick went over what had just happened. Sure, he'd known all along that it was just a matter of time before someone found out, but they really weren't doing anything. They'd meet, talk, just see each other, and just be together for a couple of hours. That was all. They weren't doing anything wrong.

If nothing else, they were friends, good friends and they liked being together, even if you took away the physical side, they still wanted to spend time together. They'd tried to keep it clean, they really did. They could have gone a lot of places where they could do a lot more than just talk and hold hands. They could have gone to a motel or Titans Tower when no one was there. They could have kept using the pool house or a dozen other places. Instead they took walks in a freezing park with all of their clothes on.

They just wanted to be together.

Besides, they both knew the problems. They both understood that he was underage and that they were both in high profile families. They knew if the press got a hold of the story there would be problems for both them and Bruce and the Commissioner. They knew that.

They did.

She was there before him, sitting on top of a picnic table and reading a book while she waited. He watched her for a moment, loving the way the sun caught her red hair and glinted off the gold earrings she was wearing. Coming up behind her, he surprised her with a kiss to the back of her neck. Then, laughing, her arms came back and pulled him around so that they could embrace and kiss properly.

"Waiting long?"

"Ten minutes." She held his hands, put her fingers on his face, then pulled a thermos out of a tote bag beside her. "You're cold; here, I brought this for you." It was hot chocolate; she poured it into two mugs she'd also brought. She watched him as he drank. "What's happened? You look upset."

Well, he'd come to tell her and there was no point in putting it off. "We have to back off—Alfred, he found the letters." Her face looked frozen. "He says he only read one page, but I guess that was enough."

She wasn't surprised and she'd probably known that it was bound to happen considering whom they were dealing with. If it hadn't been Alfred, surely Bruce would have found out sooner or later—if he didn't know already. "Well…" She wasn't sure what to say. Whether he was fifteen or twenty-five, she knew that she loved him and that wouldn't change. If they had to wait a few months or a year, then that's what they'd do. Even if Dick didn't want to believe the realities of their being together when he was a minor, she certainly understood what was at stake. "If that's what we have to do, then we'll get through it."

"Barbara? But it's bogus, it's bullshit—we love each other and we're not hurting…"

"Dick, listen to me. I know that. We both know that, but c'mon. It's not that long to wait and it's not like we won't ever see each other again. All we have to do is wait a little while and it will be fine."

"A year? Barbara…?"

He was so smart, so much older than his age in everything except this. Knowing that nothing she could say would make any difference, she simply moved over to him, put her arms around him and held him until he could calm down. It took several minutes, but finally she felt him kiss her neck.

"I'm sorry. I know I'm being stupid, but it's—there's no real point to this. We could compromise; we could agree not to go out in public for a while. We could just meet at the Manor or something where no one would know. Bruce could even give you some job as a cover, no one's even suspicious now and there's no reason for anyone to think something's going on." He lifted his head from her shoulder and looked at her. "There's no real reason for us to not see each other than Bruce wanting to protect my virtue and keep the paparazzi away."

She smiled at him; he was so sweet, so hopeful and so sure that it would work out. Other than the age difference, no one had any real objection to their being together, but she still had to tell him her news and she knew he wouldn't take it well. "Do you think he knows that your virtue is already a thing of the past?"

His smile finally came through with a blush. "Well, I wasn't planning on actually telling him, but I think he may have clued in." He gave a short laugh, one that told her that he was feeling a little better—at least for the moment. "Get a mental picture if we told him he was about to be a grandfather."

"He has that shot gun behind the door, right? Which one would he kill first—you or me?"

"Good thing we won't have to break that news any time soon—right?" He smiled, thank God. His mood lightened, his arms came around her again and he kissed her thoroughly. "Come back to the house with me." He saw her look. "No, I mean it. If he sees us there, if he sees how we feel about each other and that no one can spy on us there, he'll have to calm down about it."

"No, he doesn't." Dick still didn't really get it. He still thought that Bruce would relent about this. She knew better. "Besides, there was something I wanted to talk to you about."

He looked at her, immediately suspicious. "What?"

There was nothing to do but to just tell him. She'd been thinking about the whole situation for months now. She knew that if she didn't do something, Dick would keep looking for ways around Bruce and that would be ruinous for all of them, including the partnership of Batman and Robin. "I got a letter a couple of days ago from the Rhodes committee. They offered me one of their scholarships, I leave for Oxford next month."

"A Rhodes Scholarship?" Dick leaned back, not believing what he was hearing. "You applied for a scholarship without even telling me? You're going to England for—what?—a year and you didn't even mention that you were applying? Jesus—Barbara…"

"I wanted to wait until I knew—I didn't think I'd be accepted, Dick. There are only around thirty scholarships a year and they have thousands of applicants. I thought I'd be rejected so there wasn't anything to talk about. I never really thought…it's two years, with a possible extension to three. They pay all expenses; tuition, room and board, airfare. They even give me living money and vacation funds and it's—Dick, you know what an honor it is. I can't turn this down. It's too good and it's too important."

He just looked at her, hurt and betrayed; his face frozen and defensive. "When did you apply?"

"Six months ago, something like that."

"When do you leave?"

"Three weeks."

"…When were you planning on telling me? On your way to the airport?"

"Oh, Dick, c'mon. It's not like that…"

"Fine. Whatever." He shook his head as he stood up, not wanting to hear any more. "I'll, I'll call you later."

But he didn't call her, either later or the next day. He didn't call that weekend or the next week, blaming it on being busy on cases with Batman and the Titans. Barbara was still young enough herself to be angry with him for not being happy for her good fortune and so didn't call him, either. She left for England without them having said good-bye and with both of them hurt.

Three months later Bruce seemed satisfied that Dick had settled down and apparently gotten over his obsessive crush on Barbara Gordon. With her being overseas, he really had no practical choice, but it was just as well that the girl solved the problem on her own the way she had. Smart young woman, resourceful. He could use someone like her when she got back from Oxford. Maybe there was a place in the company or, better yet, maybe he could set her up in some kind of special capacity—he'd have to give this some thought.

A year or so later, when Dick's seventeenth birthday rolled around, Bruce asked him what he'd like and was pleasantly surprised when, instead of the trip to England he'd half expected, Dick said that he'd like to maybe go out to Vail or Deer Valley for some spring skiing.

They had a good time and Dick seemed to be getting a kick out of mastering the big half pipe on his new board.

Things seemed to be going well, so far as anyone could tell. His grades were as high as ever, Robin was solving case after case on his own, the Titans continued to make a well deserved name for themselves and Dick Grayson seemed to be as happy as any kid would be who had everything he seemed to want. He was even beginning to go out with a couple of the girls from school, now and then. All right, none of them seemed to last long, but they seemed to stay friends, if not romantic interests. Dick seemed to have the world by the tail.

Bruce stopped worrying about it.

Alfred, however, did not.

Alfred knew that Dick wasn't one to simply put something like his first love behind him and he was quite capable of hiding his true feelings beneath his good spirits and humor. He'd come upon the young master too often in the last year or so switching his monitor off suddenly or closing a book the moment he realized that someone else was in the room. Clearly, his mind and heart were firmly in southern England for the foreseeable future. He was also certain that the young people were still in contact, one way or another, whether they were supposed to be or not.

"Commissioner, you're looking well."

"Bruce, good to see you again and did I thank you enough for the vests you donated? Those new generation ones with the better Kevlar should make a real difference to the men and the morale around here."

"Glad to do it, my pleasure."

The two men were meeting over lunch at the club. They had a corner table and wouldn't be disturbed. "So how's that boy of yours doing?"

"Dick? Oh, he's fine, thanks. And Barbara? How's she liking England? Meet any princes over there?"

"Not that she's mentioned, but, well, I did want to talk with you about something, if you don't mind."

Instantly suspicious, Bruce had no idea what was coming. It was a feeling he hated. His face its usual 'Bruce Wayne Bland', he smiled at Gordon. "Sure, shoot."

"I've had a report that the kids have been seeing each other. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Bruce?"

What the hell? "I don't see how they could unless Barbara was home on a vacation or something, Jim. Was that it?"

"No, she hasn't been home since she started at Oxford over there a year ago." The older man slid a large manila envelope across the table.

Now what? Bruce opened the envelope and took out the dozen or so eight by ten color photos. The were taken around London, the landmarks obvious; Trafalgar, the Tower, London Bridge, Kensington Park with Peter Pan's statue. In each picture Dick and Barbara were front and center, holding hands, walking arm in arm, kissing, hugging, laughing and unaware of the camera. Christ.

"When were these taken?"

"I got them a week ago from a friend over there who's keeping an eye on the girl. They were taken a week or so before that." Gordon looked at the expression on Wayne's face. It was clear that he had no idea. "I take it you didn't know?" Bruce just shook his head, his mouth set and that muscle in his cheek twitching. "Well, in all truth, I've no objection to Dick, especially now that he's a little older, but I don't like this secrecy. I don't mind telling you that, Bruce. It makes me feel like an old curmudgeon or something—an old fart who can't understand young love, but I just don't like this sneaking around. You knew he was in London, didn't you? You must have guessed they'd see one another."

"I'll get to the bottom of this." He stood up. "You'll understand if I don't stay for lunch? Thank you, I'll be in touch."

Two weeks ago Bruce had been off world with the JLA. Alfred was in charge and hadn't said anything about this.

Parking the Jag at the Manor, he walked into the kitchen hours before his usual time to find Alfred getting a steak ready to marinate. Looking up at the sound of footsteps, Alfred refrained from saying anything after seeing the look on Master Bruce's face.

He spoke without preamble. "Why did you let him go to England without telling me?"

"Because I saw no harm in it. He's of age now and he wanted to go. Surely you didn't believe they really had ceased all contact?"

Well, yes he had. He'd told Dick to break it off and he'd assumed that the boy had obeyed him. And if he hadn't, Bruce had thought that Alfred would inform him. "And you didn't tell me about it?"

Alfred was completely unfazed. "There was no point, Master Bruce. It was clear that the two young people would retain some sort of contact despite your wishes and so it seemed to me to make more sense to remain a channel of communication with Master Dick rather than force him to go behind both of our backs."

"So instead he could just go behind mine? He's too young."

"With all due respect, sir, in fact he is not. He is quite as sure of his feelings as Miss Barbara is and neither one of them has wavered in three years now. He is of age, I remind you, young though he may be and he has made his choice—at least for now."

Bruce couldn't believe what he was hearing. They'd essentially lied to him all this time and he was just now finding out? For the love of God…"What other contact have they had?"

Alfred was his usual unflappable self. "They've been on the phone, the computer. They write one another. They send each other presents now and then—the usual. Master Dick has also been over there three times since the young lady left, including this last time."

Bruce couldn't believe what he was hearing. "And you had no plans to tell me?"

"I assumed you'd find out sooner or later. Really, no harm was done. In fact, I suspect it was for the best as it kept them from subterfuge—other than with yourself, of course."

"And Jim Gordon."

"That was between Miss Barbara and the Commissioner."

"You both lied to me for over a year."

"I lied. Master Dick simply said nothing and let you draw your own conclusions. Really, Bruce, the youngsters are in love. What is really the harm? He's no longer a minor and they're being discrete in a foreign country where they're unknown. If I might suggest, you may want to decide if you're more upset about being defied or if you're more concerned about your ward's welfare." He turned the piece of meat that was destined for diner. "And I must add that Master Dick wanted to tell you a number of times; I confess to being the one who talked him out of it. I knew you're set in your decision on this matter, so I saw no reason for pointless arguing."

Bruce was building up to that white, quiet fury that could cause anyone to tread softly, including the entire Justice League.

"I'll deal with you later." Bruce had his keys in his hand.

Completely calm, Alfred asked, "May I ask where you're off to, Master Bruce?"

"To pick Dick up at school. I want to talk to him. Now."

"I'm afraid that he's not there, sir. He's on a field trip today and shan't be back until after dinner."

Angier, Bruce headed down to the cave.

Both of them had lied and played him for a fool. This was—unacceptable. He'd had his suspicions, yes, but to actually have the two of them in collusion to keep him in the dark about the extent and continued existence of this inappropriate relationship when everyone involved knew his feelings on the matter…this was not—acceptable and they all had known as much. And he'd had good reason s for his feelings, it wasn't simply that he was against young love or any of that. Three were complications, problems that were being ignored, dismissed.

And Dick's defiance…

Three hours later he looked up from his monitor when he heard Dick's footsteps coming down the stairs. The boy stopped at the computer workstation, leaning against the desktop, two or three feet away from Bruce. His face was calm, as was his voice.

"I'm sorry about how you found out, Bruce."

"Is that all you're sorry for?"

"I'm sorry that you didn't know, but you wouldn't have allowed us to stay in contact, so we—I—felt like there was no choice. And I'm sorry that Alfred was involved with this—that was unfair to him. I know that."

"The obvious answer is that you could have come to me and talked like the adult you seem to think you are."

Dick took a couple of breaths, obviously to prevent himself from blurting out something he'd regret. "Your mind was made up, you wouldn't have listened." It was a statement of fact.

"And you know my reasons."

"Which no longer exist. I'm almost eighteen now. I'm no longer a minor and our feelings haven't changed for one another. If anything, they've gotten stronger. And beyond that, I maintained my grades, kept working as Robin both with you and as the leader of the Titans and even managed to have a social life. Besides, no matter who I get involved with, there will be some press attention—it's inevitable. I accept that. I hate it, but I accept it."

"And Barbara…"

"Understands. She's doing well at Oxford and will finish her course in a few months. Then she'll be back in this country."

Bruce leaned back in his chair, regarding the young man in front of him. "Should I assume you'll be moving in with her someplace when that happens?"

"You shouldn't assume anything. We don't know and we haven't decided if we want to do that yet or not. I'll be leaving for Hudson in the fall and then…we haven't decided."

"I see." Bruce turned back to the screen. It seemed there was nothing left to say.

"Bruce…"

He looked up, his face a mask, his voice cool. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry that you didn't know. We—I should have told you. I know that. That was—wrong and I know that. I wanted to tell you, I almost did—lot's of times and I knew that it was wrong all along, but…" He struggled for the words, finally stating the obvious. "I love her." A beat. "And she loves me and that's not going to change any time soon."

"I gathered that." He knew that this hadn't been easy for Dick; any of it, the secrecy or the lies, but that didn't change the fact that he'd still lied and maintained the secret despite knowing how Bruce felt about it. "So what do you expect to happen now?"

Dick shrugged a little. In all likelihood he'd imagined that they'd live happily ever after or some such. Would that reality was that pleasant more often. "I finish high school, then go to college. She'll get a job and—I don't know, we'll do what we can." His grin suddenly broke out. "Maybe Batgirl and Robin can kick some ass."

"Yes, I suspect that you could." Clearly they two young people had talked about it, probably made plans he wasn't ready to share yet.

"Bruce, I'm, I really am sorry, but—I couldn't give her up and…it was my fault. Don't blame Barb or Alfred, please. It was me."

Bruce regarded him again. Dick was young, but he was no longer a child—he was right about that, at least and there would nothing to be gained by treating him as one. He was a young man now, with a changing set of priorities and no one would know for a while what his choices would end up being—but whatever they were, they would be his choices to make, mistakes and all. "I've no doubt of that."

"I am sorry about that, Bruce. I am."

He came to a decision. It was probably two or three years too late, but things had changed and Dick would do what he wanted, that was clear. And if Bruce wanted to keep the boy—the young man—in his life, then…

"From now on, tell me. Do you understand?"

"…Yes."

"When does she get back?"

"From England? Two months." Dick looked like he was waiting for a shoe to drop.

"Tell her to come to the house. I think I should get to know her better."

"And…?"

"And then we'll see."

"That's it?"

"For now, yes." He saw the anger starting in Dick's face. "But I'll give her, I'll give both of you a chance to show me you're ready for this."

"And if you decide that we're not?"

Bruce looked at the monitor for a moment before he spoke. "Well, I suppose I'll have to learn to live with it."

Dick's smile was a small one. "I guess you will."

3/9/05