Authors Note: I do not own the characters, nor the song (Perfect by My Darkest Days). Some lyrics omitted.
Evening light splintered through the partially closed blinds casting strange shadows along the walls of his apartment. Completely enveloped in music, House deconstructed his thoughts on his piano. He tried to block out the city clamor that poured through the thin walls of his old building. Horns honking, people talking, sirens blaring…all of it was a nuisance. He blamed the cacophony for his chronic headaches he'd been having as of late. Atop the piano sat an open bottle of bourbon and his prescription Vicodin. Calling him, much like a siren calls to her prey; House dumped two pills in his mouth and chased them down with a generous swig of bourbon. He gingerly placed the bottle back on the piano, taking extra care not to damage his precious piano.
House was alone tonight. And for whatever reason, the thought of her haunted him, smothering him with its evanescence. Understanding his feelings was presenting some difficulties that even his piano couldn't help him work through. She had no idea what she'd done to him. And he supposed that was partially his fault. Had he just opened his mouth and told her the truth for once in his miserable life, maybe she'd still be with him now. But the fact is, she wasn't with him. She'd never been with him again. It's been a month now since she married Chase. It's been the worst month of his life.
Abandoning his piano, House grabbed his Stratocaster, plugged it into the amp and turned the volume up. Anger was boiling somewhere deep inside of him. If he couldn't have her, then he wanted to forget her. But in order to forget her, he had to remember. Remember so that he could let it all go.
I was fine right before I met her
Never hurt and nothing could control me
You know I tried but I can't regret her
She's the first, ask anyone who knows me
Terrified that she'd find my heart and break it
Paralyzed by the thought of her with someone else
She resembled a frightened doe on the day of her interview. Stammering, eyes dropping to the floor, all the signs of naivety and innocence. But she was brilliant, and there was something else. Yet at the time, he wasn't sure what that something else was. In hindsight, he knew it was her innocence that drew him to her. For him, she was someone to destroy and then recreate. He never knew things would go so far, or that he'd feel so strongly for her. And at some point, she got under his skin and it wasn't her that changed. It was him.
I wish I would've known
I shouldn't have fallen in love with her
It's been nothing but trouble till now
I shouldn't have fallen in love at all
But I couldn't stop myself
What gives you the right
To tear up my life?
How dare she be so perfect
What did I do to deserve this?
How dare she be so perfect?
Perfect. It's an ephemeral concept. Wilson tried to convince him that she was perfect after she'd quit on him the first time. But House had paid no attention to him, thinking that he knew her well enough and that she'd come crawling back to him. But who came crawling back to who? He was the one showing up at her door, asking her to come back, succumbing to her demands. When the hell did things get so twisted?
Stripped of control, House was left angry and vulnerable. He was determined to regain that control. No way he'd let her steal that from him. So what did he do? Treated her like shit, verbally abused her, made her feel useless and insignificant, string her along like a puppet. All of that, and did he really expect that she would stick around? He was so sure that she would. That is until the day he walked in on her and Chase doing some passionate making out in the janitors closet. He hadn't admitted it, but seeing her with Chase, it practically killed him. That night he had taken a concoction of narcotics wishing that he could just fade from existence.
I haven't cried since the day she left me
Cause that would mean that I admit it's over
I tell myself that she's trying to test me
She'd never leave, she still needs me to hold her
Horrified cause she found my heart and broke it
Mortified when I picture her with someone else
Things went downhill after that, and quickly. Within days he'd lost his team and was forced to hire a new one; one that he liked less. And fate it would seem had different plans. He thought things were setting themselves right again. He wasn't seeing ghosts. Foreman, Chase, and her…they were all back at the hospital. She looked especially beautiful. The blonde hair was nice, but he preferred her as a brunette. His preference wasn't the one that mattered, what did matter was Chase.
Her preoccupation with the aussie was nothing short of painful. He hated that she looked at Chase the way she used to look at him. On more than a couple of occasions, he tried to coax her into working for him again, but she'd always found a reason to deny him. She'd told him that she missed the job, but that she didn't miss him.
The night of their wedding was fast approaching and House was coming undone. His mind betrayed him, his heart abandoned him. For the first time, he was alone. So alone, that his only company was hallucinations of dead people. He needed to put an end to it, to the torment, to the frustration, to the pain, to everything. House had decided to check himself into an asylum and had no intentions of ever returning to PPTH. He'd written a short note, stuffed it in an envelope, and slid it into her locker after she'd left for the evening. As Wilson drove him to the asylum that very night her and Chase would seal the knot, House could only think of her. It should have been him standing there with her.
After a perfectly amazing honeymoon with her new husband, Cameron returned to work sometime the following week in a cheery mood. Upon opening her locker to change into her scrubs, a scarlet envelope fell out and landed on her feet. Curiously, she picked it up and examined it. Her name was written on the front in a beautiful calligraphic font. She popped open the flap and removed the thick piece of paper that had been folded once. The writing on the inside was just the same as on the envelope, sinuous and flowing.
I shouldn't have fallen in love with her
It's been nothing but trouble till now
I shouldn't have fallen in love at all
But I couldn't stop myself
Who gives you the right
To tear up my life?
How dare she be so perfect?
What did I do to deserve this?
I gotta let her go
How dare she be so perfect?
Tell me why you started the fire
And played me like that
