A/N: I am terrible, I really am. I'm really trying to focus on studying, I really am. But…fanfiction…Doctor Who is trying to make me fail, I swear. *sigh*
Anyway, this is the missing moment from "The God Complex" that everyone has done so many times and speculated over and over and nobody can seem to quite figure out what it is that the Doctor most fears. So, I figured I'd have a go. I realized what it was a long time ago, but I figured it's about time I type it up. I think I've got it right, because, really, how could it be anything else? But I'll let you lot be the judge of that. Let me know in a review!
Anyway, before I waste anymore time, Allonz-y!
-?-
Praise Him.
Find your door.
There's a door here for everyone, Doctor. Even you.
He knew his door the moment he laid eyes on it.
He knew the second he saw the room number.
11
Of course, what else would it be?
He knew he shouldn't. He knew he really shouldn't. He knew he didn't want to know what was behind that door.
And yet he wanted to know so badly. Of all the things he's seen, out of the entire universe, what was it the Doctor was most afraid of?
Daleks? Cybermen? His death? The Silence? The Question? All of the secrets he held? What? What was it?
He took a step forward.
Don't, Doctor. Bad Doctor.
He took another step forward.
What scared the Doctor?
His hand came to rest upon the door handle.
He shouldn't, he really shouldn't.
He cracked open the door.
The Doctor heard the cloister bell. Well, that was never good sign.
He peeked inside.
As his eyes laid upon it, the thing the Doctor most feared, and that fear filled his hearts, it was then that he realized it couldn't have been anything else.
Dark eyes met his own, dark, angry, out-of-control eyes. Old eyes. Mad eyes. Eyes the Doctor knew very well.
He stood, framed in the window. And he was dark, so dark. The moonlight illuminated behind him, showing off just how dark he was. Mad. Mad and drunk with power. A Dark God.
The man's…no…monster's eyes gleamed as he looked upon the Doctor in the doorway. The monster's eyes had lost all compassion, all pity, all sense of right and wrong. He was mad. Completely, utterly mad. And dark, so dark. This monster knew him. This monster haunted his every dream. This monster was the thing the Doctor feared above all else.
The Doctor looked upon himself.
"Of course," he muttered. "Who else?"
He was terrified. Of course he was, this nightmare, this monster, was his worst fear. What would he do to become this? What could possibly happen to make him forget every single rule in his book? What could make him so drunk with power? What could make him so evil?
He knew the answer. He'd lived too long. Old age. Fear. Too much pain and loss. No matter what he did, the Doctor was always heading for this monster.
This was his destiny, and the Doctor could not run from it.
The Doctor closed his eyes against the monster, but the image was burned in the back of his eyelids. It would forever be there. Haunting him.
Only one thing was his consolation. Only one thing reminded him that he could keep this monster at bay.
Faith in the one person who could save him from himself.
Even if she was long gone, even if he would never see her again, she had made him better, she had saved him, and she wouldn't want him to become this, the Valeyard. The Time Lord Victorious. And if she had faith in him, then he could have faith in her. She would save him. She always did.
The Doctor closed the door on his worst fear, and placed a Do Not Disturb sign on the door handle.
Praise Him.
-?-
A/N: Don't forget to leave a review!