Author: His Little LabRat
Story Title: Without You I am…
Chapter Title: (Chapter One) Blue
Summary: Greg and Nick broke it off a few months ago, and Nick is lost without him, even as he tries to get over Greg. [NickGreg Slash, Chaptered
Author's Notes: Hello! I am sorry if the story confuses you… it confused some of my friends. Hehheh… oops. On another note, if you put the title of the story along with the title of this chapter, you get "Without You I am… Blue," same goes for all of my other chapters, describing how Nick feels in that chapter. It will stay like this for most of the duration of the story. Enjoy!
Even as Nick laced his fingers around hers, he felt anger and sadness bubble up inside. He didn't know why.
This girl, Alene Beckham, his new… girlfriend… fingers intertwined with him. He loved her, yeah, but… why did this feeling bubble up inside every time he got close to someone? Before, it never happened… but, ever since that time, in the rain with… Nick shook the thought from his head, not daring to mention his name to himself. He smiled at Alene and she smiled back, squeezing his hand gently in her own. He was tall, skinny, brown hair, big, green-blue eyes… a slick, lean figure, but… the feeling still bubbled up inside him every time she came close or she spoke. As if… something was missing. But, Nick couldn't place his finger on it.
..::XXxxXX::..
"You know what I mean?" Nick asked, shaking his head like he found the inevitable but couldn't believe it.
"Yeah----no." Warrick said, starting out with a nod but then changing into a hard shake as his wording changed. "I don't." Nick laughed at Warrick.
"I just can't put my finger on it…" Nick started but Warrick was looking in the other direction.
"Yeah, and Grissom can't let Greg put his finger on the clock-out button," Warrick said, making Nick twitch at the mention of the DNA tech… but twitched in a good way, the feeling bubbling up again. Warrick laughed hard as Hodges came into the room followed by Greg. Hodges rushed up to the coffee pots and poured two mugs, rushing himself back to the door and handing Greg one cup. Greg looked tired and Nick stared at him, locking gazes with Greg. Greg stared back, taking the cup from Hodges without looking away from Nick until he blinked slowly, slowly coming back into existence, coming out of the trance Nick always pulled in his eyes.
I changed my color for youI shed my coat with cautionI lack the beauty you displaySee here there are the bruisesAnd some were self-inflictedAnd some showed up along the waySo I nod my headI'm ready for the world to seeThe secret I kept here inside the man you thought I'd beSlip into coma calmThe coma where I calm myself downHere comes excuses why I let you down
"Thanks, Hodges," Greg said, putting a bit of emphasis on Hodges' name- or maybe it was just Nick imagining that slur of Hodges' name. Nick was miraculously up already, walking towards Greg with determination; he didn't know why, though. Nick raised a hand, placing it on Greg's shoulder, the other patting his chest a few times like he usually did. Greg became alert at the contact to his almost bare contact, since his top button was undone, one of Nick's fingers slipping down his shirt and stroking him gently.
Stand by for another breakdownSound off the alarmIs this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't becomeChameleon boyChameleon boy
Nick didn't get the same, unhappy, suicidal feeling when he touched Greg though and his heart yelled at him to say "I love you" but his mind kicked into the public view. "Good luck," he said simply and instead. He stalked out, turning down a hall that he knew was a dead end.
So now we've come upon the hardest thing I've ever doneIts telling you that I'm a messWhat sort of mess I meanIs self-destructive gasolineThe kind that strips you of your bestAnd while I play instead the way that most would end up deadYou sleep alone at home and wish that I was in our bedWith this I'm telling youMy color changes back to blueHow do I ask you thisWill you help me through
Nick turned to watch Greg, peering at him through the glass walls. He watched Greg's shoulders fall as Nick's contact severed, his eyes and face falling from to that happy spectacle of a smile into the old, tired, dull face and eyes that Greg had since a few months back. Greg watched him, smiling as he was caught in the trance that was Nick, until Hodges called his name and detached his gaze from Nick. Greg nodded as Hodges and Hodges led him back into the DNA lab…
Stand by for another breakdownSound off the alarmIs this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't becomeStand by for another breakdownSound off the alarmIs this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't becomeChameleon boyChameleon boy
Detached from Greg once again! Nick cursed him, biting his lip harshly, almost severing into the skin on his bottom lip. He pondered why the feeling hadn't returned when he touched Greg, why the suicidal sadness didn't wash over him, but instead was replaced by the happiness and… joy… that his heart longed so much for.
I try to think of all the people I look up toOr growing up who would I beNow the twisted partWhere'd all my idols end upThey all passed awayPassed away
He pondered why when he was with Greg he was happy, but then with Alene or anyone else, he turned back to blue. But, with Greg… his heart flew away somewhere! Somewhere he couldn't retrieve it… somewhere he could only reach with Greg.
Stand byIts chameleon boyStand byIts chameleon boyChameleon BoyI'm chameleon boy...Chameleon Boy…